[Closed] If anyone has any fish jokes, let minnow

There is a time and a plaice for fish jokes.

Motor pike and side carp

Fish walks into a bar, by the time he left he was battered

Two budgies sat on a perch

Can you smell Fish ????

Two fish in a tank

Can you drive this ??

Too slow

let me mullet over for a while

In once ordered shrimps at a restaurant. I got two krills, one cup.

Hardcore prawn.

All I've got is the punchline I'm afraid as I can't remember the damn joke, so if any one knows the rest of the joke to this - "with fronds like these, who needs anenomes", please post it 'cos it's been bugging me for years.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh

don't tell him, Pike.

I'm a prawn again, Christian.

How many fish can you get in a pair of tights?

two soles, two 'eels and a wet plaice in the middle

I'll get mi coat..........

C

A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes.

"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man.

"Okay." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!!"

A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face.

Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid.

"Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen.

"Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that squid!"

The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry.

"I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling.

"Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show...

...

That Hans that do dishes, can be soft as Gervais. with mild green, hairy lip squid"

that's reely very good!! 🙂

I'm not sure that I cod do batter than that

Two salmon in the pool at the bottom of a large waterfall.
One turns to the other and say 'can't we just stay here and have a w[i]a[/i]nk?'

If this thread doesn't make you happy you've got no sole.

Good cod these are aprawning, can anyone do any batter?

Didn't know fish had a sense of humour.

I've had a whale of a time reading this. It's given me a whole new sense of porpoise.

Cod help us!

What's the laziest fish in the sea? Slobster