[Closed] I'd sooner repeatedly slam my plums in a kitchen drawer

You'd be a dead man if you forgot though !

U OK hun?

Don’t do it then.

Agreed. Contrived rubbish.

Agreed and Wifey agrees

You can keep your negativity to yourself - for some of us married Chaps it’s one of the few chances for a mid-week leg-over we get.

I feel OP has fancy slow closing runners on his kitchen drawers. As such, slamming one’s plums in them, while somewhat impactful, would be fairly pleasurable.

for some of us married Chaps it’s one of the few chances for a [s]mid-week [/s] leg-over we get.

FTFY

I'm on bloody night shift until Friday, when the wife goes away for the weekend. Someone's getting lucky, but it won't be me.

I'm going to my girlfriend's for a slube night.
This involves filling a bathtub with water, adding a powder and turning the water into sex lube. Then getting in, having sex, doing forward rolls and laughing a lot.
Supposedly pizza too but not sure about the order there

Yet you’re happy for your employers to make money selling millions of cards for this special day. You great stinking hypocrite. 😃

Got to agree with CFH on this.

What a media driven drivel of a day.

Love yourself, snog your partner, hug your family's..

Love is for giving.

😍😘🤩🤪

Jamie wins the retort.. 👍☄️

Another money making day. We have Valentines day every day in this house, no cards/chocolates & all the fancy shite, just a bit of love & affection.
I know she loves me & she knows I love her.
(wer'e both 61 so wev'e done all that crap)

"Love yourself, snog your partner, hug your family’s.."

Hug your family's what?

Can’t say we’ve ever bothered, we buy each other a humours car though just to keep people in not so fancy shoes.

I’m not angry Flashy, i’m just dissapointed

*bursts into tears*

I love valentines. It's fabby. Mostly as I always remember and she always forgets, and I get to watch her run about in a bit of a panic, which makes me laugh.

Revenge Valentines...It's the way forward.

Binners,

0630hrs, Saturday morning. Your face or mine?

Valen-what now?

Valen-what now?

Valen-what is the day before valen-whine, where folk make comment about what a con valentines day is, before declaring how happy they are during the year that they don't need to participate in such blatant marketing drivel. I mean, have you seen how much they hike up the price of flowers?!

The wife doesn't care either apparently, but deep down you know it would be nice to buy her something on that day so she can join in with the event; sure you hate the day but you love her, so here's big ol' bunch of roses and a card love. But NO! Don't join,you'll be a fool to the marketing con!

..and then spend many thousands of pounds on a thing to sit on and pedal because it has mildy different geometry, or £1k on fancy led day-running lights and £500 on a laptop to look at BBC news.

Meh 🙂

If it wasn’t for the text that M&S sent Mrs FD and I we would have been oblivious to it

Or a watch or even pen.

CFH you need to find the Simpsons Trash of the Titans episode on YouTube or NetFlix or something. It all centres around the environmental impact of "love day". That'll cheer you up tomorrow (maybe!).

Egregious gender facism and fiscal manipulation by the phalloplutocrats, subjugating their diminutives into thrusting what little disposable seedcorn they can muster into the pockets of the familiars.

Got the missus some tulips.

I think this Valentines day is going to be like all the others. She get home from work and says she hasn't bought me a card then makes sure I haven't bought one for her. I have of course, I always do. The card will be on the kitchen worktop when she gets up in the morning, she feels guilty and buys me a card in the day. We've been going through this routine for 35 years.

Bit of a weird one this year as been seeing someone for a few weeks and not sure what the etiquette is...

Last few years were in a long term unhappy relationship with so minimum effort cheap flowers and card was easy.

I don't know what the problem is. Pop into tesco, get card flowers and chocolates and its easy brownie points, I don't even have to think. And I can't go wrong cos no matter how shit it all is, it will be more than she's done for me. And thats ok cos I don't really care, all I wanted was the easy brownie points.

I bought Mrs ws some champagne, I like champagne, especially whilst sitting 8n the dirty sex pool, plus it was on offer due to above mentioned day. It's a win win really. Love you all x

Got pancake day & valentines day mixed up this year. Hot fat stings a bit!

It's our 11th wedding anniversary on the 17th and my birthday on the 24th. In 2008, Mrs pandhandj forgot valentine's, anniversary and birthday all in the space of 10 days.

Thats a lifetime of ammunition for me 🙂

Yeah but the maple syrup makes it worthwhile.

Hell yeah ..(to the day .. not slamming my plums in the kitchen drawer)

I'm often told that I'm the most unromantic person in the world ..and despite the hype / cost and whatever other negativity you can think of ..this day seems to matter to my good lady and for that reason I'm in..

She already knows that I love her ..but if the card , flowers ( tulips ..not roses) & bottle of bubbly reaffirm that and make her happy ..then I'm happy too 💘

Cap'n the NHS will do a vasectomy under local if you don't want any more kids. Using the kitchen cabinet drawers is not necessary.

Roses are red

Succulents are odd

Cheer the **** up

You miserable sod.

A nice card, a bottle of 15 year old Dalwhinnie and extra pudding.

I see no problem.

Got the missus some tulips.

Hoping for the same in return?

Thanks for the heads up totally forgot!!

I always get two cards on Valentines Day.

It’s my birthday! 😎

We celebrate it on March 17th.

There is a reason.

a lot of it is rubbish but then there are cards like this:

https://thecraftygiraffe.co.uk/get-your-rat-out-cage-card/

I have my missus the best present ever - I went away for work and left her alone for the night.

my wife is away and I have a plumber coming round this evening.
I'm not even joking.

Slam him repeatedly in the kitchen drawer.

Couldn't give a flip about valentines but i'd stop short at catching my tallywhacker in a draw.

We use the day to celebrate pork in all it's wonderful shapes and sizes.

A day were pork is king and we'll eat it in every meal today.

I even gave my wife a happy pork day card.

Plums aren't even in season

Anyway I thought it was supposed to be about secretly sending cards. Isn't the phrase "Be my valentine"? Suggesting they aren't already.

We always used to make a fish pie on Valentine's Day. That's not a euphemism, it's just an odd ritual we got into. Then one year it made us both sick, so now we do nothing. My wife's not even here today.

Think of today as a day when petrol stations around the UK suddenly get a lot of business for flowers from the forecourt...

My girlfriend (now wife) said that it was all a big con and I shouldn't waste money on it. So she came home on Valentines day and I said that I had listened to her and instead of buying flowers, cars and chocolates I had spent the money instead on a set of stacking crates which we needed. So she could not give me a hard time as I had listened to her and done exactly what she said.

However flowers, card and chocs had also been bought and were liked. Since then I try to remember - but also give flowers, chocs and cards at other times of the year for no good reason. We have never bothered with a 'special' meal or such. In fact tonight I think that we may not see much of each other anyway - and she is off skiing with our boys on Sunday!

My wife’s not even here today.

I know.

"I know."

Poor sod.

Taking the wife to see Black Panther tonight.

So I think that's romantic,

maybe I'll show her the pink panther later? 😍😍That's<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;"> definitely romantic</span>

Taking the wife to see Black Panther tonight.

So I think that’s romantic,

maybe I’ll show her the pink panther later?

I wouldn't bother. She's all panthered out.

"Love yourself, snog your partner, hug your family’s.."

Are we back on the plums here?

my wife is away and I have a plumber coming round this evening.
I’m not even joking.

I'm guessing you can't switch off the central heating and it's getting very hot in your house.

I'll spending Valentines evening watching Simple Minds with mates while Mrs. P spends the evening in front of the telly with the dogs.

Mum died on Valentines Day so I'm not a big fan of it anyway.

Feeling pressured into going through motions, that's crap.  However like most of these things, it should be whatever you want it to be.  I won't be buying a card or flowers, but I did get a nice bar of chocolate this morning (£2 worth) and I will probably do something nice for her whilst she is out at work.

Probably tidying the house, not because it's normally her job (it's not) but because it needs doing and it makes her feel better when it's done.  May get a steak for dinner.

Jamie deserves love for that response.

I buy a card each year and usually make my wife a meal at either the weekend before or after. This weekend we are heading to Leeds for a friends 40th, so loads of drinks and party time with a crowd of other people - take that romance!

Could be much much worse..this could be mumsnet and you could all be waiting for a trip to Centre Parks or a meal up the OXO Tower

It's my Grandad's birthday today, his middle name is Valentine. He's 89 today and hasn't been well recently, him still being with us means more to me than some silly day where lots of sheep feel compelled to be 'romantic'.

Back when I used to work in an office it was always the high maintenance 'princess' type women who got flowers delivered at work. Says it all really.

 a meal up the OXO Tower

a meal up there?

I’d settle for a coffee.

Got Mrs Yak a new maul. Just checked it on a freshly cut down eucalyptus. Works a treat, so I split the lot.

"I’d sooner repeatedly slam my plums in a kitchen drawer"

I have to pay good money for that. It's extra on valentines too.

Anyway it appears we have a "secret Valentines" thing going on at work. I'm waiting for the cards to come flooding in. And waiting...

We don't do it, its another excuse to buy pointless folded bit of cardboard, but we got married on the 16th of Feb 5 years ago, so we've booked a meal and night back where we got hitched.

It was expensive, and we had to go for the "special valentines day meal" option.  🙁

You can buy Prunes all year round now, it isn't the 60's any more..

And they probably have a resemblance to Men of a certain age's anatomy too..

Taking the wife to see Black Panther tonight.

So I think that’s romantic,

maybe I’ll show her the pink panther later?

I'd do it the other way round, once she's had black panther she won't want to go back.

89p card from Aldi here and job done, might open a bottle of wine later if tomorrow's schedule doesn't look too tough

We always get a card for each other and I get her flowers but that's about it. My business partner spends a fortune on shit - gets his missus things like iPads and guff like that. Bloody silly.

This year our little girls made some lovely things for us - a huge 'family flower' made from cardboard and a paper mache 'vase' using the trusted 'ballon for a mould' technique. There were pictures of each member of the family (including the dog) on each petal. Then one of our daughters also made gifts for us all - again all by hand. It was perhaps the most lovely Valentine's Day I've had 🙂

Got pancake day & valentines day mixed up this year. Hot fat stings a bit!

ROFL

I’d sooner repeatedly slam my plums in a kitchen drawer

You do it, I’ll film it.  I’m sure there’s a niche for this and we can go 50/50 on profits.

Revenge Valentines

So evil, but so perfect!  👹

<div>Jamie
<div>
<div>Member</div>
</div>
</div>

<div>

I feel OP has fancy slow closing runners on his kitchen drawers. As such, slamming one’s plums in them, while somewhat impactful, would be fairly pleasurable.

I'm interested to know how Jamie knows this.

</div>

Tesco selling a bunch of 100 roses for £70.  Must be some right mugs around.

@shinton- given that a bunch of 12 go for £20 minimum I see money to be made from that offer...

Far too commercialised, so for that reason we won't do it.  Also, since when did one wish everyone a "Happy Valentine's Day"?  Surely you only say it to the one you love?  It's not a general celebration.

Happy Birthday, Wallop 🙂

Cheers!

I am hungover already 😞

I haven’t given anyone a card for several decades, had nobody to give one to, and haven’t received one in as long.
Been living with my g/f for four months, and I wasn’t sure what her feelings were, re Valentines cards, wed not talked about it, and I’d actually forgotten the date, but I happened to walk in on her putting a card away, and fortunately I had an appropriate arty card with a nice calligraphic verse that I’d bought on a whim some years back.
She is thrilled with her card, and I’m pleased with mine, it’s the thought that counts, just a tangible token on one particular day.
I didn’t get flowers, and she’s not one for chocolate, and a card does nicely, thank you.