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Whatever you say Mark, if that's what you think then that's OK, you are a fraud.
Which makes the rest of us what exactly? Still humbled by your attitude.
Fradgely's not a common name is it - no relation to Matt in Guildford are you?
Come on man you're better than that. We're all victims of circumstances we didn't make for ourselves. Your bound to feel down, its natural, but you've got spirit in shed loads, we've all got masses of respect for you and where your at. Its no pedestal. Its something we should all be very proud of, human kindness.
Keep 'er lit big lad! 😉
EDIT: That doesn't mean I won't stop fighting though.
DAMN STRAIGHT!
The moment you give up with Cancer, it wins...
Having watched more people I love die of the big C than anyone should ever have to in their entire lifetime by the time I was even out of my teens, the best bit of advice I can give is to just keep fighting... Be beligerent, bloody minded, totally focussed on winning to the point where nothing else even manages to make its way into your head as a mere thought any more...
Perfect case in point is yer man Lance Armstrong... Probably/Possibly the single most focussed athlete the world has ever seen (certainly the cycling world), coming second has never even featured on his agenda. Which seemed to be the approach he took to Cancer too!
Besides, you've got WAY too many people following you on here now to even consider the possibility of not making it... Everyone is gunning for you, you WILL make it!
Hmmm... Just read my last post. You're all right - it sounds way too negative.
But it's important that you know the reality of the situation. I KNOW that I will beat this. I KNOW I'll be the first to do so. But I'm not a superman. And knowing that I'll win doesn't stop me shitting myself, believe me. I don't like the idea of people being disappointed when they meet me, thinking that I'm some kind of wunderkind when in reality I'm just the same as all of you. I'm sure all of you would respond in the same manner when confronted with the same situation.
Apart from my good looks. They are fairly superhuman-ish.
just caught up with this thread after a fair while away from it.
I don't think there would be a person in the world that wouldn't be sh!tting themselves faced with what you are. It's how you deal with that fear that determines whether you get through it. I'd echo everyones sentiments here, I'd like to think I could get through that diesease with the same bravery, humour and general aplomb that you are, but I know myself and I honestly don't think I could.
When this is all over, I'm going to copy this thread and keep it somewhere safe to show my kids (if I have any) one day as a way to show them that THIS is the way to deal with things when life gets sh!tty.
keep it up mate.
JIm
*p.s. by that I mean your actions and not to hang around on an internet forum with middle aged IT proffessionals 😆
Mark, you are a legend.
Not because you fight this without weakness, not because you fight this blindly.
You are a legend because you fight this with humanity, with love, and at times self perceived frailty, but yet you fight this head on knowing your own weaknesses. That takes true courage. You are a truly strong man, stay with it, keep believing, and lean on Meg when you need to, 'cos I'm sure she will only love you more for doing so.
I'm just the same as all of you.
Well I look like Shrek's doppleganger but don't let that stop ya! 😆
Your bound to dwell on things Mark, just drop a line when you need to man.
Sticking it on here is brave and discussing it is what most of us probably wouldn't be man enough to do, (and Jimbo I resemble that comment, I'm not an internet IT specialist..... 😉 )
All the very best to you both
TS
ello mr fradgley
reading ur last post seems you are a in the dumps a bit,well dont be its
not like you and doesent sound like the mark fradgley we all know and admire,the fradge we know goes the the full 80 mins regardless.we know things must be hard for you mark and meg, but the fradge we know doesent
give up on anything as i am sure you wont.no final whistle extra time
only,lots of it.with you all the way mate.love to both you and meg. we are here if you need us.your friends in batley,ang.snr.jnr.
I haven't been in contact as much over recent weeks. Working on anger management stuff. And failing.
Glad you are still sticking to the agreement - don't back down, don't surrender.
Wouldn't mind popping down at some point so we can take in a ride and catch up face to face. In the mean time keep writing up transcripts of your conversation with your own arse; it came across as a really thoughtful, sensitive soul who is struggling with organisation and consistency.
[url= http://rentadateforcharity.com/blog/cat/lisa-connell-story/?SID=b8bfe2d50a72379a9d6e10da39a6d29e ]as Marks story is so dreary and uninspiring, and our response so indifferent 😉 have a read about Lisa Connell....[/url] featured on BBC news this morning...
Mark - are you OK?
We are all missing you here, up north. You are missing out on all the cold and rain. We are fast approaching easter hols with joy in our hearts. Hope you feel the same sense of joy.
Just catching up after a few weeks, glad (understatment) your treatment is going the right way.
The "your so great" got to me a bit when having my cancer fight(s). You need to know that from the outside you are all the things people say. I'm sure everyone who has these labels placed on them feels a bit of a fraud on the inside, but your not mate. You are what people say you are and the personal doubts dont change it.
People on the outside just think they will be different (run and hide) if it was them, but as we know, most of them would be supprised what fight is also in them if its needed. 😉
I regularly see my own funeral
Ye me too mate, use think about it all the time, to be honest the only thing that worried me was that nobody would come (like that would have mattered). The places are minds go at times like this. You'll have all kind of mad thoughts mate, dont think its you going weak, its only natrual.
Things are about to happen in the following order:
1) Have some tea
2) Try and find a replacement rear wheel/XT hub on fleabay
3) Update you lot about the last month
Give me an hour and a half. There's nowt on the box tonight anyway...
Good man Mark!
The fact that your looking around fleabay for tat fills me with confidence 😆 😆
There's the World Track cycling on BBC2 that's okay!! keep fighting buddy we are still all thinking about you.
I bet the bugger makes me cry again 🙂
Give me an hour and a half. There's nowt on the box tonight anyway...
Posted 1 hour ago
ooh gives me enough time for a run i think. looking forward to the update
I just wrote a massive post, only for the server to go tits-up.
Happy days.
I'm going to do a couple of posts in the next few days as I'm aware that it's been a fair while since I've posted owt. This is an abreviated version of the incredibly funny post I just lost. It is entitled 'Bad things about my chemo.
[b]1) The Bum Lottery[/b]
Just like the National Lottery. See below:
[b]National Lottery[/b] - Buy a ticket, pray, win large wad of cash. Winner!
[b]Bum Lottery[/b] - Don't buy a ticket, pray, get caught short, run to nearest toilet. But hang on a minute I hear you say? Where's the lottery component Mark? Here it is; you don't know whats coming!!! Is it liquid? Is it compacted stools? Who knows!!??! Ace eh?
[b]2) Mouth Ulcers[/b]
Between week 2 and the end of week 4 I get ulcers. Lots of 'em. 16 at last count, all along the sides of my tongue. So this is my diet for those two weeks.
Custard
Ice Cream
Soup
Custard
Angel Delight
Custard
Smoothies
Custard
Custard
Sounds like fun? Ask my arse...
[b]3) Chemo side effects[/b]
Caelyx pools in certain areas of the body, and is very painful to the touch. Its a bit like electric shocks. The parts it affects on me are my hands, elbows, feet, knees, calves, hips and gonads. So everything is itchy and uncomfortable. E45 doesn't work. Sudocreme doesn't work. The only cream that does is called 'Udderley Smoooth' (sic). Designed for cows' udders. I have half a bovine heart, and now use udder cream on my skin. Meg swears she's seen me grazing in the back garden...
[b]4) Insurance[/b]
I've got (as yet) incurable cancer. Now I think this is shit. But sod it, I'm going to get on with my life, so were going on our belated honeymoon to NYC. Yeah baby, NYC!! But I'd better get some insurance, so I'll phone one of those specialist brokers. It goes like this:
Me: Hello, I'd like some insurance please.
Insurer: No problem sir, we're very competitve and don't refuse anyone. What condition do you have?
Me: Er, its called angiosarcoma.
Insurer: Asthma?
Me: Angiosarcoma.
Insurer: Did you mean anaemia sir?
Me: A-N-G-I-O-S-A-R-C-O-M-A
Insurer: One moment please [i](Rustling, hushed conversation, murmuring occasionally punctuated with words such as 'Christ!' 'Poor Bastard' and 'No Chance'..)[/i] I'm sorry sir, this is a pizza parlour...[click]
More to follow...
Hey up Mark - will this be your first time in New York? If so, send me your address (e-mail in my profile), I've got shed loads of guide books and stuff I can let you have.
hello mate good to hear from you
Next time you post...highlight and copy text!!!
I've just had to re-type this as I did not do this!! 😈
The hamsters have been put on the Atkins diet, but are in a bad way as they don't eat meat!! 8)
I once had 7 ulcers along the edge of my tongue when I was coming off Seroxat...never known such discomfort.
NYC? You'll have a blast!! 8)
Ta muchly for update.
FCxx
Mark!
Blah! Blah! Blah!
How is Meg ya big sheite! 😀
That aside, glad to hear your O.K. kid! 😉
Thinking about ya man. Karma
Shane
nice to hear you are back online with more stories from your journey, I'm looking forward to your next tale 🙂
I had to move your thread away from the Isle of Man one.....
🙂
sounds like a picnic
keep the fire stoked
Good to hear from you fella and enjoy NYC.
My aunt in law also uses Udder cream to help with chemo side effects. Sadly she's now ceased treatment and has been given 6 months max. That said she was given 6 months 2 years ago.
great to hear things are going well for you
That WAS funny in a very black humoured kinda way Mark! Keep up the writing. All the best.
Pete aka Woodsman
Nice one Mark. Hope you're doing well apart from the bum and tongue problems.
I read your latest update to J. He reckons he kept Ambrosia in business while he was having his chemo. (did you find the 'adcortyl in orabase' ulcer treatment - that seemed about the most effective.)
He also commented on your metamorphosis into a cow and decided you're the latest superhero - kind of like spiderman but more bovine - which lead to an interesting conversation.
So, in honour of your new found superhero status and courtesy of J and my mate Lance, here's a song:
Cow man, cow man, does whatever a cow can.
Drops a pat, any size.
Lots of smell, lots of flies.
Look out - here comes cow man...
Keep going mate, no surrender!
Custard creams, anyone?
You keep posting - I keep laughing. Something miraculously off-kilter about that equation, but you make it true!! You have a gift. Moooooo!!
sorry if it's too late but look into travel insurance from the post office. actually go into one and do it that way, i've heard from plenty of people with various illnesses that they're pretty relaxed about ailments.
also my mum found me a list of insurers as we're going away this summer, they include insurancewith.com freedominsure.co.uk insureblue.co.uk
i'll be trying them all but i appreciate our situations are different.
good luck anyway.
Hello folks!
It seems I always start my updates with an apology as to why I haven’t updated recently! For a change I think I’ll just lead into what’s been happening in the last five weeks.
The chemo, a four weekly trek to the Marsden in London, is now over. Despite their best attempts to fill me with the most toxic crap on the planet, I appear to be in fairly good order, both physically and psychologically. This doesn’t mean that the situation is easy; far from it. But I’m fairly happy with how things have gone. I was lucky not to have had some of the symptoms that other folk have had, and it looks like the constipation/squits conundrum and the skin issues have been the most trouble.
I count my blessings at this. During infusion you all sit in a room together and the pain that some really brave people are going through is fairly humbling. The flip-side to this is that your mind starts to play nasty tricks on you – does it not hurt because the chemo isn’t working?
The guy in the US with the same condition as me died on March 19th. He had posted on his blog on the 7th March that he’d never felt better, and that it felt so good to be having a break from chemo. And then bang – that’s it, gone. It came as a real blow to Meg and I. I’d spoken two him a few times via email, and then he was no longer there. Beside him I only knew of one other person with the same prognosis, but they don’t want to be contacted. As stupid as it sounds, my overriding emotion was that of loneliness. I couldn’t even ask his widow what he’d died of; was it related to the heart op? Was it the cancer? So a bit of a pisser really. But I decided to MTFU and carry on as normal.
Now my feet are something to behold. Think of the way shingles feels. Now multiply that by ten. Then add more wrinkles than a tortoise’ fanjita and you’re some way to picturing my feet at the moment. Wearing any kind of footwear is a bastard, SPDs especially – even the hem of my jeans brushing against my feet is agony. So I tend to wear flip-flops.
Now I work as a PE Teacher/SSCo (School Sports Co-ordinator) at a group of schools in South London. Two secondary, six primaries, an SEN and a PRU, and all very different and unique. Stick with it, you’ll see where I’m going…
Out of courtesy I asked my HoD to inform the head-teacher at one of my secondary schools (cannot be named for legal reasons) as to my need to wear flip-flops to help alleviate the discomfort. He received an email back three minutes later telling me that this would not be acceptable and that I should wear ‘thin cotton socks’ with my trainers instead in line with H & S compliance.
Now I know what you’re thinking. I should be angry, right? You couldn’t be more wrong! I’m overjoyed. You see, my condition is so rare that even the Marsden don’t know much about it. But it turns out that my HT is an expert in the field of angiosarcoma (that’s why he’s able to dole out such quality advice in just three minutes) and so he knows the solution to alleviating the pain – thin cotton socks! I just wish I’d thought of it. Ace eh? 👿 And this is the same place where I haven’t had a post op workplace assessment, a re-integration-back-into-work, a disability assessment, and where the HoD told me in an informal meeting that he could only support me so far as ‘he has to look out for number one’… (sigh) 😕
Despite all this sh*t I’m training hard for the summer. My sister, a crazy joiner and I are going to JOGLE for Sarcoma UK for 15 days in July and August. We’ll be supported by my wife in the van, and we hope to get as much support and sponsorship as we can. I really want to make a difference – this pissing disease might try and take me at some point (not by my reckoning though), but I’m going kick it squarely in the nuts first and raise funds for research programmes into sarcoma at the same time.
And so once again I turn to you lot. I need help. Sponsorship, support on route, a garden to pitch a tent in etc. If you’re a shop, we’re in dire need of kit sponsorship – bikes, spares, clothing etc; nothing is too small or insignificant. There should be a fair amount of press interest, and your logo will get plastered everywhere. I’m sorry if it sounds cheeky to try and scrounge stuff, but to be perfectly honest I’m not very experienced in fundraising for this type of event and I really don’t know what the etiquette is… All I can guarantee is that I won’t give up and I won’t let you down, I promise.
I’ve set up a JustGiving page for those of you that might like to make a donation. Please email onto your friends and colleagues – explain to them that some arse on a forum you frequent is trying to beat the odds and that he might just do it with their help. I’ve also started a website that should be online by the end of this week with the finalised route on it.
http://www.justgiving.com/TheBullheartJOGLE2010
Thanks for listening. Thanks for the continued messages of support. I wouldn’t have the courage to do this without you all.
Cheers,
Mark
Mark - nice to hear the latest update, your posts and attitude are truly inspirational, just donated good luck with the challenge
Keep it going dude, as inspiring as ever.
Good to hear from you again, I used you for inspiration for a guy that came in to work today saying he'd been diagnosed with secondary lung cancer.
He's not a cyclist and the illness is not the same but the spirit you show is fantastic and I hope he'll take the time to read this thread ... ok, so it'll take a while, early days for him, but I hope this will be motivation for him.
Keep going Mark, and keephelping Meg 😀
Mark, cancer has recently reached deep in to my life as well. Your posts are sublime in their inspiration, their humour and their strength.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Stay strong.
its easy to share on your facebook page too btw, create a sharethis account then link it to your facebook profile
all the best!!!
I was thinking of making a donation on your justgiving page but then I thought, nah; I'd rather give it to you in person.
Make sure you post up dates and details of the route you'll be taking in July/ August once you've made some progress with the arrangements. I'm sure I won't be the only normally cynical forum member who'll be moved to ride with you for a while.
I believe this is a tactic known as a bump. Someone from the forum emailed me last night reminding me that late-night postings are often missed. Doh!
So read the new post above. The one that's earlier than this one!
Jeez...
i might be able to help out with accomodation in bath. but it's not my house so I would have to ask the owner. If you don't mind some company i'll come and ride some of it with you. If mel wants a hand in the support vehical i'll also help there to.
What kinda bikes you after?
I'm about to stick 2 of my winter road bikes on ebay, I could not sell them and lend them if it helps?