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I read this entire thread at work last week. Wanted to post then but was not sure what to say. I am awed by your attitude and strength, you are nothing short of magnificent.
Please continue being magnificent.
Keep doing what you're doing, Mark. Just because they don't know why you're beating it doesn't mean you're not!
Jedi - Leave it out, you'll set me off...
Suggsey - I'll email you a couple of pictures, so that the ink artist gets a suitable likeness. Where are you getting it? Truth be told, my face on your arse will probably save you some cash!! 😆
Good night folks.
Good to hear that, my wife was asking about you last night and this is someone who i had mentioned this thread to in passing. Seems she looked up STW, read the thread from start to finish and is now another person standing behind you giving a large V-sign to your cancer.
Positive thinking is so important - keep it going and you'll win this one.
Keep looking forwards with your head up mate - as they say around here - "a gaun fit is aye getting"
Big up dude...! 🙂
****in brilliant, stay strong fella. A positive attitude goes along way!
i find it overwhelming
So glad it's going well mate. Hope you get out on that Clown bike some more soon and have some fun 🙂
I started reaing this post post when there were only 3 or 4 replies on the first page, I kept following it, quite often with tears in my eyes (or down my face 😳 ) and it is SO good to hear such positive things.
I was going to be out on the South Downs ride you came to around Christmas time, but, depite living a mile away couldn't make it! I was really loking forward to meeting you, you are an inspiration to us all.
I have a nephew who at 5 years old has been through the whole cancer thing, the rest of the family shaved their hair off to make him feel 'normal'. It's such a horrible thing to happen, it makes the positive stories even more powerful!!
Keep on kicking it Mark, and Meg, you are a Star!!!!
grinning
First off, I'd like to apologise for not posting on this thread before (or even having read any of it)... I have my reason, that being that sometimes I just can't control the emotion that is set off in me when people talk about Cancer. I have lost several people, including my Mum at a fairly early age, to Cancer, and have many friends that have likewise lost friends, relatives and parents themselves. It is fair to say that though I have never had Cancer myself (at least not yet) that it has played a massive part in my life to date.
Reading that you are battling with the bastard disease still, well my heart goes out to you. But that you are fighting it, still, and in such a beligerent manner... And not only that but for whatever reason, you seem to be defying the odds against you (and hopefully long may it continue) and are winning, if not quickly but at least little battles here and there.
Words fail me right now...
Well I'm off to bed, tears in my eyes (as I knew there would be if I even opened this thread!), with a new-found respect for someone on an internet forum I've not even met!
Keep up the good work, and make damned sure you live your life to the fullest, if only to spite the evil ****ing disease! Don't you dare become a statistic mate... Prove to the world it can be beat!
Fantastic news, really brilliant.
Obviously your medical team are a bit shocked but clearly they and you are doing 'something' right - that's the main thing.
J's sarcoma prof said quite often the chemo is almost 'guess work' - they know which drugs tend to work for which type of tumour but it's never set in stone. Obviously this is the one that's kicking yours into touch. Quite convincingly, too.
And so great that your dad's got his head round it now in such a positive way, that's got to help so much too.
Mark, just keep doing what you're doing - looks like you really are set to break new ground here. Like I said elsewhere - with the support of your wife, your family and thousands (?) of hard-assed cyclists behind you, you can't fail. Good man!
Now for the other side of things...
Last night as I went to bed I wondered whether I should have just reeled off an enormous post listing the highs and lows of where I am presently, but to be honest I was just too tired. Which ties up with the nature of this post actually.
There is a dark side to my situation. This sounds absurd in the context of what I (we) are going through, but it's important that people understand and that I'm able to 'purge' myself and how I feel. That doesn't mean that it can't be done with humour though, albeit through gritted teeth!
I'm tired. They talked about fatigue in our initial meeting with the Sarcoma team, and like a meathead I dismissed it privately as something that wouldn't happen to me because I wouldn't allow it to. There is something to be said for my hard-arsed approach; I feel it's kept me alive to this point. But y'know what? The fatigue and the effect it has on your attitude is astonishing.
Here's an example. Last week after the chemo I felt okay for a couple of days. There have been a few issues; the rib/stomach/ab thing still hurts; I now have a substantial amount of mottled 'rashing' (is that a word?) around my sides, chest and back; diahrroea and I are constant companions - which would be so bloody bad if the conversation didn't go like this;
Me: So... How are things?
Arse: BBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPP! BRRRAAAAAAP! PTTTTSSSST! BRRRUUP BRRRUP!
Me: Oh. I see. Shall we leave? Have we finished?
Arse: BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAP! THHHHSST THHHHSSSST BRRRRUP! THHHHHSSSSSST THHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSST!!!!!
Me: (sigh)... You could've at least waited 'till I'd bought a sodding magazine....
Arse: BRRRAAAAaaaaaaap.... (continues for about an hour...)
I'm back at school, albeit on a slightly reduced timetable, and trying to sort out the mess that's been established in my absence is a constant drain of energy. The kids are great - most of them shit themselves if I glare, due to my now 'psychotic-cross-between-Vin-Diesel-and-Charles-Manson-when-he-shaved-it-all-off' hairdo, and this tends to pre-empt any awkward questions.
I still haven't received any form of phased induction back to work after my illness, and half the staff I walk by are, for the want of a better word, frightened. This isn't their fault; to many of them I'm the plucky fighter that'll probably expire at some point in the near future, and this is through a lack of knowledge and understanding.
But the fatigue is the main issue. I don't know how to deal with it, truth be told. I use all my energy convincing people that I'm bulletproof, and receive the same comments all the time:
" You've got cancer? I'd never have known, you look so well "
" You're doing so well! Now could you help me move this skip/building/tractor " (delete as appropriate)
But the energy needed to do these things is immense; maybe even beyond what I'm capable of. I hope not, but I worry a lot about it. And those fears seem to be amplified when I'm tired, which makes me difficult to be with I think.
I worry a lot about Meg. She's trying very hard at the moment to make a case for her firm keeping her on in September; working long hours, grafting at home, volunteering for things etc. The legal world has been impacted in exactly the same way as every other industry, and whether they will be able to employ their trainees at the end of the year is a concern for both of us. We've been looking at property in and around Tonbridge, just in case she has to work in the Big Smoke. So if you are a partner in a firm specialising in PI (and high quality stuff; not injurylawyers4u) then email me; she really is that good...!
Having just prostituted my wife, I'm going to go to work. Thanks for listening, and I'll update later today.
Good God sir, I can't imagine all that you ( and your wife ) are going thru but somehow you still manage to write an email that just made me spackle my screen with half drunk coffee.
I don't know you...will likely never meet you but in more ways that you can imagine you have been an inspiration to me ( and to a mate in the states who is battling esophageal cancer ) and at more times than I've thought appropriate.. a real laugh.
thank you and I really hope ( and pray if you believe in that stuff ) that you continue kicking this nasty "C".
cheers,
greg
ahh read from the start and not a regular poster but...
YOUR AN EFF-IN LEGAND!!!
keep it up!!!
Mark, nice to meet you on the ride on Sunday..(we chatted for a while on the wrong side of Richmond Bridge!) Hope to see you on the next ride.
Hi Mark
First of all YEEEHAAA!
Secondly of course you will feel exhausted - there's the constant mental strain huge emotional strain before you even start with the impact chemo will have on your body. From what i have seen the chemo can get progressively more tiring but obviously needs to be done and then you can recover from all the side effects afterwards.
I hope you aren't doing too much going back to work, but totally understand that you would want to. On the one hand i think i may have an idea of where you are at but realistically i can't possibly have any idea whatsoever as this thing is so huge and dominates every minute of your waking and sleeping hours.
One thing i do know though is that i have a very positive feeling for the outcome, you have such a fighting spirit. There will be dark days but you will be back.
Will be thinking of you.
Thirdly YEEEHAAA! x
Loving the conversation with your butt, if that doesn't sound dodgy... Keep a good book next to the pan!
Your attitude is immense, but don't let it slip by that you're still ill and you have to look after yourself and rest especially as chemo progresses. That said, you seem to be doing a good job of kicking its ass so hang in there and stay strong.
Hang in there!! You'll get this licked in no time and then you can get back to normality with Meg (who's being a legend as well as you from what you have said).
Please though, just try and take it easy. Your mind sounds both bulletproof and well up to the job of looking after you, but your body might not be, so treat yourselves to a lie in once in a while and don't push yourself too hard.
Keep at it and love to you both.
😯 😕 😥 😆 stay strong Mark. (and Meg)
You should be utterly selfish and say no to any requests for help which you know will leave you tired. there are other people who can do it instead. ask to see a dietitian about the best energy foods which won't squirt out the other end. live long and prosper
I hope someone's saving this thread. It'll make great reading in a Sunday supplement 🙂
High5 anyway re the illness 🙂
Stay strong.
Think of the fatigue as pre-baby training. Glad to hear the scan went ok and glad to hear about yer dad being a brick. Thought you might be heading for a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader kinda relationship for a sec.
Well done on fighting this. It is an ispiration as always reading you post's with the example of pure grit in fighting it all the way. Dont worry about other people you are tired and also depressed masked by the fight. it is easy for us on here to post as we dont have the face to face relationship your collegues and friends have. those face to face relationships cause other emotions to come in to play. As what the hell do you say to someone you know work with friends with that is going through what you are. LOst for words. keep the fight up rest when you can and keep positive.
good luck
Nice to hear positive news. I have no doubt that a positive mental attitude helps when you are fighting an illness like this.
Having true support form those closest is vital, so credit to your old man.
We're all behind you mate!
Good luck with the ride.
so glad your Dad has sorted himself out sounds like he is being just the support you need.
We all know you can do this.
xxx
I know this is slightly different and I can't be too precise, there was a guy in America who was diagnosed with AIDS and full blown and was given limited time to survive, somehow he managed to say "sod it" and did an iron man or something similarly ridiculous however when he went back for tests it had all "vanished" and no-one can explain it. So you can fight itand you clearly all.
I don't really know what to say other than when I come home having had a crap day at work, or a headache or I am whining about something I think about you and Meg, what you're going through and say "get a grip you big pussie".
Inspiration to all. Keep fighting and posting .. have some more love and hugs.xxx
You just seem like a normal bloke to me, but with super-hero qualities.
Hell, I get pissed off by the chaos in my classroom, after one day's absence!
Whenever I picture you in my mind you have this intense fire burning in your chest.
Keep that fire burning!!!!
All the best,
FCxx
Its great to have the offer of your face on my arse pal but with the boil I have on it at the moment you would be hideously disfigured-and so would I. 😆
No its going to be a simple word that embodies alot of what I 'preach' and truly think is the essence of the way that decide our destiny.
As for the tiredness, I am afraid that its time to listen to your body and sleep a bit more. Sleep equals recovery period and battery recharge-what do we all do on the nighttime following a good epic ride to recover?
As for the arse action my life on Statins and Metfartmin (Metformin) regularly end with similar events.
Keep well and have a good nights sleep and a lay in.
Positive attitude - its the way forward.
My mate was telling me about a book I should read called the "Sickening Mind" - which proves a lot about the effect of positive attitude on illness. Can't wait to read it.
You're a real inspiration - All the best!
Hey Mark, give yourself a break! 😯
You're already doing one allegedly impossible thing by pushing the lurg back under the rock it come from, don't give yourself a hard time for not managing to also ignore the side-effects of that battle. If ever there was a time for putting your needs first it is NOW, everyone else can bugger off and if they don't get it then they're not people you need to explain yourself to.
Worrying about Meg is the one thing you'd be having to deal with anyway, so perversely that is a good 'normal' thing to be doing (does that make sense??).
Get some sleep - arse permitting. 😉
Mr Fradgley
(that is what you like to be addressed by)
At last we have found somewhere where you regularly visit !!!! Mark and I read it all yesterday spent hours going through it and we are inspired by what we have read, you are a fighter Mark and we know you CAN beat this disease, as Mark says keep your game head on.
On reading it all Mark we are extremly pleased that things have sorted out well with your Dad and he is back on your side !
Meg is a truly lovely person whom we had the pleasure to meet at your wedding, a good woman is hard to find I know !!!! Mark said he will send you a DVD if you still need one ha ha !!!!
If you get chance and I know you have loads of people to answer give us a ring love. From your friends in Batley
Ang Mark Snr and Junior xxxx
You are becoming a legend on STW.
How you manage to make me lol. and cry in the same sentence is a feat in itself.
Great news about your father coming round, he must have been pretty shocked at first.
Regarding the Fatigue, is it possible to get some nutritional advice? Things like eating small meals but often will help.
Sleep is a thing that must be a priority. Even just sitting down and resting is better than trying to help everyone, surely these people need to know that even though you are superman you can't do everything.
Keep letting us know how you're feeling, even let to off steam.
bunnyhop xx
a true stw legend imo
I don't do the tears thing but you rock!
jedi - you're the other one 😉
Just what I was thinking bunnyhop!! 😉
i can only wish i could be half the man he is. true legend always in my book.
I'm not a legend. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
I'm a fearful coward and a fraud 50% of the time. Please don't put me on a pedestal; I don't deserve it. I regularly see my own funeral, pray that it won't hurt when it comes, and curse others for not realising how lucky they are.
If it wasn't for Meg, I'd be nothing. Really.
EDIT: That doesn't mean I won't stop fighting though.
well, yeah, but apart from that......
Just keep fighting for every inch Mark.
All the best,
Larry.
Fradg you are what you are an inspiration to us all !!
We don't want to be at your funeral lost my Mum two weeks ago today and yours is not on the agenda!!! we are not going to another one this year or the next we love you Mark stay strong and we are here for you and Meg always xxx
Keep going strong my man- you are an inspiration.
One of my ex pupils recieved treatment upon his brain lesions yesterday. He too is strong and driven like you. He too is detined for great things.