[Closed] I now have to commit suicide.

Disown him.

I think that's a concept picture. The real one doesn't have a front bumper like that.

Jump under the front wheels as its being delivered?

Definitely a concept picture. The real one is much nicer.

Given the OP's feelings and proclamations on automobiles in general, I think it's hilarious.

Drac, you live in/near Alnwick don't you?

So do my parents.........

Nah, just set a few ground rules.

1. He has to park a couple of streets away when he visits

2. You will only go in it wearing shades, baseball hat etc

Surely you should kill it, not yourself. I think train would be most satisfying, but hard to achieve without endangering others. Shoot it.

Does he still run you to school or something? Aren't old people weird?

I won't be seen DEAD in it.

Thank GOD they live 360 miles away!

Drac, you live in/near Alnwick don't you?

So do my parents.........

Want me to take care of it with the Ambulance?

From Blackshaws then?

[url= http://www.ehow.com/how_5160753_divorce-parents.html ]Hows about divorcing them instead?[/url]

Grounds: Being (verbally or) mentally abused by one or both of your parents;

Drac, kill it if you can please!

Fratricide, shoorly? 😉

I think you need to more concerned about what he'll do next now that dementia has so clearly set in 😉

You´ll have to buy a new Orange Five in that flourescent yellow they have.
Park it beside the car to outshine your dad....and blind passers-by.

Is he a successful hairdresser? If so, then fine. If not, hahahahahahahahahaha.

Oh, go on then.

I think if your parents live 360 miles away you'll probably be fine...

Nice colour.......

Vile pointless cars regardless of colour. Not a bad shade for an early '90's MTB revivalist though.

Fratricide, shoorly?

Kill his brother? Seems a bit harsh.

its beautiful! 😯

PeterPoddy - Member
Oh. My. God.

Shotgun, pills, or train?

Shame... 😀

I saw a juke the other day and initially assumed it had been in an accident. It had not. But maybe it would help.

it is a damn site better than the mini clubman - now that is ugly - nothing endearing about it at all.

Oh yeah, Patricide not Fratricide. 😳 It's been a long day.

Then again, why not just kill your brother anyway. He's probably far better looking than you. 😈

UKAEA are always looking for ways to test their transport containers. Maybe suggest that they put one on a bullet train and run it into the car.

it is a damn site better than the mini clubman - now that is ugly - nothing endearing about it at all.

Yes. I should be thankful it's only the SECOND ugliest car in production I suppose!

Yes. I should be thankful it's only the SECOND ugliest car in production I suppose!

Third.

[img] [/img]
I bet your brother drives one of these.

learn from it peter, take a long hard look at your dad and ask yourself..
how can i stop this happening to me? 😯

[img] [/img]

Could be worse than the Clubman or the nissan, he could have bought one of these monstrosities:
[img] [/img]

It actually looks worse in real life than that picture. I was behind one yesterday and it looks like the Top Gear crew have dropped a piano on a normal Range Rover.

Of course the real danger is if he kicks the bucket and you inherit it.

Fair play to your Dad! A car that looks radical enough to devide opinion gets my vote 😆

ps - as long as it's not a diesel, eh, PP?

Is that a Nissan Joke ?

Spelunker magazine likes it 🙂

They reckon it's like looking out of a cave .... boom tish!

Flashy, sorry, yes, I read countryman not clubman. The clubman us OK.

Reluctant, we nearly bought a diesel at the weekend actually, as I'm doing the miles to make it pay.

I now know for a fact that Fiat diesels are better to drive than VW ones. Not hard to be fair.....

They're ok those Nissan Jukes, a tidy little turbodiesel manual would be great fun to drive. Better than the deathly tedium of the alternatives anyway.

Alternatives????

For that money he could have had a nice used Jag or an Alfa!!!

That is hilarious PP!! Dont't let anyone tell you they're ok really, cos they ain't. Even Nissan know it - have you noticed even the advert is filmed in the dark 😀

The Juke only makes me feel nauseous. The Countryman makes me angry for some reason. I'm a passive man, but I actually want to have a fight with it.

For that money he could have had a nice used Jag or an Alfa!!!

Which would cost twice as much to run each year when you take into account insurance, road tax, maintenance etc. Alfas are crap anyway, I don't get the fuss

Yep - I meant countryman earlier - there is a white one locally - it is unbelievable.

There is also a Juke locally and it is quite reasonable compared, and better than many of the recent BMWs with that awful boot.

Alfas are crap anyway, I don't get the fuss

wrong thread - I think you meant this for the joke thread. You must be a passat driver.

LOL @ DezB 🙂

Which would cost twice as much to run each year when you take into account insurance, road tax, maintenance etc. Alfas are crap anyway, I don't get the fuss

He could easily afford it. He could afford to run an Aston if he wanted to. He does 6000 miles a year.

And you have no soul! 😛

People who think Alfas are great "drivers' cars" have never driven proper drivers' cars is all I'm saying. Sure they might be better to drive than a boggo golf or peugeot or whatever but they've always left me asking what the fuss is about.

We have a Vespa, a Ducati and a Ford.

If I can possibly swing it, our next car will complete the Italian trio. There's precious few current Italian cars I wouldn't park on my driveway, to be honest.

never driven proper drivers' cars

name them please...

Could you let me know when Peter, I've a pair of Rockshox that need servicing...

People who think Alfas are great "drivers' cars" have never driven proper drivers' cars is all I'm saying

Point = Missed

It's not about what's best all the time you know. Park a 159 next to a 535 and take a loooong hard stare at them.

Actually I feel your pain. My Dad had his last company car come up a few years back, and there were a few brochures lying about the lounge. I practically begged him to get the 157 sportwagon. He went for the Stilo estate 🙄

The real one doesn't have a front bumper like that.

and that makes a difference!! 😉

😯 😯 😯

Don't get mad, just refuse to go to his obviously impending civil partnership ceremony... 😉

Actually though - I think the colour is interesting - like Fords in ASBO Orange, or Probation Green. Good on him for stepping away from the herd.

TurnerGuy - Member
name them please...

Google for "evo top 100 drivers cars" ?

Well I have not read any reply but I do clearly remember your dad telling me in a jumping frenzy during your wedding that you and him were not related...?
If it's of any comfort.

Google for "evo top 100 drivers cars" ?Google for "evo top 100 drivers cars" ?

what a strange list. I see an AlfaSud in there.

I also see a Lancia Fulvia but not the outstanding Alfa 1750 GTV of the same period.

I also see an E-Type which was far from having class-leading handling for its time, the BMW 2002 tii and Alfa 1750 being some of its peers.

🙄