I love my wife but....
 

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[Closed] I love my wife but...

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... I currently want to bludgeon her! About six years ago, we had the opportunity to emigrate to Perth, Western Australia. We sorted visas, jobs, even made provisional arrangements for where we were going to live (Mandurah). However, at the last minute, Mrs Barnsley started to get a bit panicky, and decided that she didnt want to be that far from her family, it wasnt the right time, etc, and ultimately, we didnt go. Instead, we both got jobs in Cornwall, and ended up living down there for a couple of years. Needless to say, I couldnt help comparing living there to (my dream of) living in Australia, and for a number of reasons, we ended up moving back to Yorkshire. I feel settled here, we've got the kids into a really good school and we're beginning to put down roots. The wife's brother moved over to Melbourne a couple of years ago, and as he's only too fond of telling us, he couldnt be happier. Recently, there have been quite a few programmes on tv about emigration, etc, which the wife has been taking a lot of interest in. You can tell where this is going cant you? Last night, she mentioned that she 'might have the opportunity' to pilot a new healthcare scheme in Australia, and how would I feel about emigrating?. Needless to say, I'm not completely averse to the idea, just bloody frustrated that we didnt go when we had the opportunity, and the move from Yorkshire to Cornwall and back again has cost us a fortune - I love her, but to reiterate what I said at the start of this post, my bludgeoning hand is twitching!


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 10:55 am
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If you do her in now you might get a free trip to Australia............or have they stopped that scheme?


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 10:57 am
 Drac
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Sounds like she wasn't ready but is now go for it.

I want to do the same but my wife has no interest what so ever, I've seen jobs come up I could apply for and stand a good chance of getting as I hold a Degree from an Aussie Uni. Still I'm more than happy to stay as I love this country but would gladly hop on a plane tomorrow to live in Aus.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 10:57 am
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A stay-at-home dad in Oz, what more do you want? Back her 100%, give her a sloppy kiss and look forward to Christmas on the beach.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 10:58 am
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Bludgeon away imo.

edit: Isn't bludgeon a brilliant word.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 10:59 am
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tiggs, yeah, that went the same way as the ten pound pom thing. 👿


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 10:59 am
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Not long ago you could have given her bludgeoning and got a free passage.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:01 am
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Wait until you get there to do the bludgeoning, it's probably easier to dispose of a body in the outback than in Barnsley.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:03 am
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Don't look back, it wasnt right then, it is now so get on with it. It's only money eh.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:06 am
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"Wait until you get there to do the bludgeoning, it's probably easier to dispose of a body in the outback than in Barnsley."
Top idea, and I could blame it on the dingos!


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:08 am
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dont look back only forward....and go,its sounds great! 😆


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:09 am
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my (ex) wife did similar things twice, as she didn't want to live so far from her parents, who subsequently emigrated themselves!


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:09 am
 hels
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And you need to drop all that whinging if you want to fit in out there...


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:19 am
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"And you need to drop all that whinging if you want to fit in out there..."
Not to mention having some more Cognitive behavioural therapy in order to address my 'interest' in spiders!


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:23 am
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If you do her in now you might get a free trip to Australia............or have they stopped that scheme?

😆


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:23 am
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"Mach dir klar, wer du bist, und vergiss, wer du warst".

Know who you are and forget who you were. So she didn't think it was right then but does now.

"Il n'y a que les imbéciles qui ne changent pas d'avis".

Only fools don't change their mind.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 11:24 am
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I can't help but think of our neighbours reading this thread.

She has forced him to miove all over the globe as she can't seem to settle. They recently emigrated to Australia at ther insistence. He gave up an excellent job to go.

She then decided she didn't like Australia and they are now back home and both unemployed. I would have left her long ago.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 1:16 pm
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I had the chance of moving to Australia the company I work for few years back we had a severe lack of skills in Aussie at the time and wanted me to move to Melbourne ... Hence the other half was totally against the idea which I still regret to this day can't keep thinking of what might have been when I watch things like wanted down under. 😥


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 4:25 pm
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its quite flat in WA...you might need to take up a new hobby! otherwise, just do it. Maybe rent your place here for a while instead of selling etc if you are worried?


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 4:30 pm
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Save the bludgeoning for now. You might need it in 3 months when she backs out again and you've already quit your job


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 4:32 pm
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I envy you as it's my dream to move over there.

Most married couples who come back due to their wives not being happy.

Hubbys loved it, kids thought it was awesome but wife missed family or winter...

Thank god I'm not married but hey at least have the opportunity to do it now.

Not kill the wife, I mean you can move together and then leave her!


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 4:34 pm
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"I would have left her long ago"

Even if you loved her dearly?


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 4:39 pm
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LOL at its quite flat in WA -

Sure, theres no whopping great mountains but theres some great mountain biking down here and a lot within an hour of the CBD

New hobbies - Plenty of them to spend any extra money on! - ive been in Perth for 6 months now and so far have started surfing, kayaking & sailing again. I havent done them for years.

[i]"Do you have any criminal convictions sir?"[/i]
[i]"I didnt know it was still a requirement to get into Australia" [/i]
😆


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 4:43 pm
 mboy
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And you need to drop all that whinging if you want to fit in out there...

That's not what I heard... One of my mates has been out there for about 18 months or so now, says they're all still whinging about the Ashes Defeat last summer! 😉


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 4:46 pm
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Yea I know the feeling

Bought a place in france a couple of years ago plans were comming together, then on sunday I got the want nice holidays bit and subtle hints on letting the place in france go

I think NOT

women can't live with em can't harpoon em either


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 7:05 pm
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Cant believe no one else has suggested this yet, MTFU and tell her what she is doing/not doing, then if its not what suits you bludgeon her!


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 7:17 pm
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Can I use your bludgeoning device afterwards to do my missus as I want to go to NZ! Wipe your fingerprints off though as I dont want to be implicated in doing your missus! Achem if you get my meaning.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 7:20 pm
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Lol at tiggs 🙂

We're moving out to Adelaide Juneish. I'll be going on my ow if she pulls out now, having possibly pissed off someone rather important in my field (my current boss) by taking the job in Oz, I don't think the bridge is quite intact should I wish to backtrack at this stage 😕


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 7:38 pm
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My missus had 2 main options when finishing her training - 2 year placements

New Zealand, or Birmingham

... and apparently the training was better in Birmingham 🙄


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 8:34 pm
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Got to admit that I have some reservations - realistically, I know we'd be no better off financially if we emigrated, the cost of living is more or less the same, and although the houses are generally much bigger, etc, they cost much the same as they do here. No doubt the weather's better, but does that mean we'd be any happier? ************itty**** !


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 8:34 pm
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I'm not prepared to travel all the way to Oz in my tan suede jacket!


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 8:43 pm
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You'd fit right in wearing that in Oz yeti - 'she'll be right as apples mate, I'll just put a blob of vegemite on the end!' 😛


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 8:46 pm
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hahaha, a2m would never be the same again.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 8:54 pm
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I'm not sure which would taste worse...


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 8:56 pm
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You don't see the stars of youPorn wolfing down vegemite! So I'm going to take that as scientific proof, no further research required.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 9:00 pm
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Life is a journey. I spent 6 years doing jobs that (in retrospect) I struggled with and in a place while OK, was not where I wanted to be. BUT, it was a journey for me and mrs_oab to go on, learn, change and grow to be ready for what we are now doing and where we are heading.
Enjoy the ride.


 
Posted : 26/01/2010 9:15 pm
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Moved to Methvan, NZ with the wife and kids in our late 20's. Did it really for the change, so not sure if we ever saw it as totally permanent, but when we went we had no real plans to come back. We were lucky enough not to have to sell up over here to set up over there. Life was good, but for a variety of reasons mainly linked to family after 2 years we decided it wasn't going to be forever, but stayed another 2 years treating it really as a kind of extended holiday, albeit one where I was at work. We are now in our late 30's, and have no regrets about going and none about coming back, there were pro's and con's to both. Agree with Matts sentiments above really. Mrs B is currently fancying a few years in the states, but this will have to wait a few years due to the kids schooling, I'm a bit indifferent to the US but figure there is 'nowt to lose really.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 12:08 am
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Moved over here 3 years ago.
Can't see me setting foot in the UK ever again to be honest. Life there was OK, but nothing really to go back to. Family that matters that's in the UK seems happy enough to visit me, and skype means that I talk to my Mum more than I used to when living just down the road.
Perth though, that's remote even for Aussies - I liked it to visit, but I think living there may be a bit harder. Think six hour flight to Sydney etc.
Sunshine Coast is good - I get trails out the back door a reasonable train commute to Brisbane and only 10 minutes from the coast. Marvelous.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 12:17 am
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Got to admit that I have some reservations - realistically, I know we'd be no better off financially if we emigrated, the cost of living is more or less the same, and although the houses are generally much bigger, etc, they cost much the same as they do here. No doubt the weather's better, but does that mean we'd be any happier?

Yes, No, Maybe.

Being somewhere sunny does not solve the problems in your life. It can add extra stress (new job, new culture although its Oz so thats debatable :lol:, new beer, too hot, not cold enough, sh1t TV etc etc). If you go into it open minded with no specific plans on 'staying' or not then you wil make of it what you want. It could be great, you could hate it.

theboatman - when did you live in Methven ? I lived there 97/98. Happy days outside the Blue in spring with a nice cold Jug of Monteiths Black 😀


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 12:29 am
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cold Jug of Monteiths Black

Dribble, wish we could get that in Oz.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 1:10 am
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Do it and enjoy it.

We lived in in Adelaide for a year and it was brilliant. Great way of life, with
vineyards nearby and a nice beach within easy cycling distance. 😀

Thought seriously about emigrating permanently, but my mum had a double heart attack which served as a very sharp reminder of family bonds and the limited time we all have together. 😕

Still, if I could bundle up everyone I love and take them with me then I'd be back there in a flash.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 1:12 am
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cold Jug of Monteiths Black

Dribble, wish we could get that in Oz.

3 Ravens Dark perhaps, Mountain Goat Surefoot Stout, Five Islands Bulli Black

Theres a few options for ya !


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 1:28 am
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Most of those are new since i left in 2000. Thankfully the aussies are catching up on decent brewing, but the tax is outrageous. I could buy Cascade Premium lager in NZ cheaper than Tassie & I live right next to the brewery.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 2:23 am
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True. At least decent beer here isn't too bad - Tuatara Hefe is the god of beers, closely followed by the IPA, the Helles and then anything from Emersons !


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 3:08 am
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I can get Emersons here, & even Monteiths, but it ain't cheap.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 4:08 am
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Wife in can't make up mind shocker!
😈


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 9:43 am
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People change and grow, ideas evolve, times and situations change. Don't blame her for it 🙂

The good thing to do isn't just the thing, it's the combination of the thing and the time.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 10:34 am
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There was a TV prog a while back about a once rich man who was now living in a caravan after his wife suggested they give everything away. Unfortunately she didn't like living in poverty so she left him. Women eh? Gotta love 'em ... or something.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 10:36 am
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I stiil love her. She is warm.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 10:48 am
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KiwiJohn - what about the 2 metre tall brewing co? they're putting out some good stuff down your way...

Glad to here that things are progressing Zokes - see ya soon!

wouldn't worry about MTB in WA; they've got some good funding coming through at the moment for new stuff, so they are gonna be alright; true not huge mountains, but lots of undulating stuff that is different but just as fun.

I'd say cost of living is a little bit cheaper and over here in Adelaide house prices are better than Perth; overall it's a better set up I reckon and thats after nearly turning around and going home in the first 3 or 4 months of getting to Aus!

The weather is dependent on where you go; get south in WA, SA, VIC or NSW and its temperate; hotter summers for sure, but you still get a discernible change in seasons. Head to Tassie if you want a proper winter - or at least to be blown away in the wind (though also by the scenery)!

Having been here for almost 4 years now and having been back "home" in the last year, I don't see anything that will lure me back. Besides, I get my Aussie (dual) citizenship in May too - can no longer lose the Ashes!


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 10:54 am
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KiwiJohn - what about the 2 metre tall brewing co? they're putting out some good stuff down your way...

Their Cleansing Ale does just that. There're some good brewers in Tas, & Cascade is also very good. It's just stupidly expensive.
Tassie is a good place to live, the pace of life is just right, but wages are a bit backwards.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 11:08 am
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Butts are important


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 12:13 pm
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its quite flat in WA...you might need to take up a new hobby!

The surf is rarely flat in WA.

I have some questions:
1. What is it that your wife is setting up?
2. Any chance of a job?


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 12:40 pm
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I could buy Cascade Premium lager

but why would you; it's shit.

Coopers Strong and/or Pale Ale..... mmmmm.....

south-western WA is a beautiful place. too far to commute though. Perth itself is lovely. i called it pleasentville whilst i was there. lots of water. lots of beach, surf, barbecues and weeeeeed!

transport in the city is pretty limited so be prepared to drive everywhere.

i found Adelaide to be sooooo boring. the whole city spread along one street - Hindley St/Rundle Mall. ther hills t te east are a nice place though. some proper trails there too....

great country. met the GF there but she wouldn't go back as it's too far away from her (small) family.


 
Posted : 27/01/2010 1:03 pm