Hurty words on Facebook...

No, I can't see what’s wrong with saying that. What was the context I’m missing?

Well done on raising it.

Think I've often said things like that but replace "tax fraud" with "killing a cyclist".

Inappropriate yes,  and he is clearly a bellend but personally I would have ignored.

Agreed that raising it up was the correct thing to do. I behave differently at work than I do at home, there's professional standards and integrity needed in a different way.
(That's not too say I'm a racist bigot at home BTW!)

Have I missed something in the news recently that would help this make sense?

I'm lost. More info needed

Have you lot been living on the moon since the riots in the summer?

I agree, and good on you for reporting. It's this casual kind of hate we need to stand against.

Without context that would appear to be an ignorant thing to say, but not particularly offensive to South Asians.

Fill in the blanks for us OP?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with what he said. Stop being so sensitive. Unprofessional yes, but nothing to get excited about.

Have you lot been living on the moon since the riots in the summer?

I wasn't aware that I was on the moon, but I guess I must've been. Does "hurty words" actually mean "racist abuse" or something?

Inappropriate yes, and he is clearly a bellend but personally I would have ignored.

I did think I should do that, but I was so shocked I'd actually heard it out loud I kind of knee jerked.

For those who've missed it "Hurty words on Facebook" is the phrase used to describe the comments made on social media inciting violence/arson/riot/murder by those outraged that the posters were jailed for the crimes.

Which thinking about it again as I type, makes me more convinced I did the right thing. Even if he is just ignorant and was using an edgy sounding phrase he didn't understand, that can't be allowed to become acceptable.

It’s a little phrase used by apologists for racists to down play the offences rioters were convicted of by falsely equating offences such as racially aggravated intentional harassment or inciting racial hatred with using hurty words on Facebook.

Unprofessional yes, but nothing to get excited about.

But in the work place you’re supposed to be professional .

I'm struggling to see what's wrong with it. HMRC are notoriously crap at achieving successful prosecutions.

I want aware of the context but now you've clarified i would say you did the right thing

For those who’ve missed it “Hurty words on Facebook” is the phrase used to describe the comments made on social media inciting violence/arson/riot/murder

Hmm, yes I think I have a colleague who'd enjoy adopting such a phrase. I wouldn't report him, but I would call him out on it. I've called him out on things in the past and made him actually [i]think[/i] about these things instead of blindly adopting them as his own.

...I'd best stop saying "I'd get less for murder" every wedding anniversary then!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm2499671e0o An example of "hurty words"

A man who called for mosques to be burnt with worshippers inside during the summer riots in the UK has been jailed for two years.

Mentioning it to a manager was the right thing, I'm sure he won't be sacked for it (unless he's been saying "hurty words" on FB) but it's unprofessional and probably shows that he's a dick.

The "Hurty Words" trope is from Farage describing incitement to violence and inciting racial hatred with specific reference to the riots of late summer this year.

Your colleague's usage of this marks them down as a ****.

If it was apropos of nothing and something they were clearly desperate to shoehorn into the conversation, no matter how incongruous...

It marks them down as an even bigger ****.

For those who’ve missed it “Hurty words on Facebook” is the phrase used to describe the comments made on social media inciting violence/arson/riot/murder

Came here to say this.  It's a very specific choice of words parroted by the same sorts of people who came out with "we won you lost get over it."  He hasn't come up with it spontaneously, he's repeated what he's read/heard by another imbecile.  It's exclusively used to trivialise hate speech, particularly of the racial variety.  I would posit that the colleague either knew exactly what he was saying or he's so stupid that he shouldn't be out of the house without a handler.

It’s a very specific choice of words parroted by the same sorts of people who came out with “we won you lost get over it.” He hasn’t come up with it spontaneously, he’s repeated what he’s read/heard by another imbecile. It’s exclusively used to trivialise hate speech, particularly of the racial variety.

This was all entirely news to me, but sounds like  you did exactly the right thing.

^^^

Precisely. It's the sort of thing my BiL comes out with when he's had a couple and thinks he's in a safe space. It is usually in a conversation that extols the virtues of Jordan Peterson and includes the phrase "you'd never get away with that these days" a lot.

I tend to make my excuses at that point.

For those who’ve missed it “Hurty words on Facebook” is the phrase used to describe the comments made on social media inciting violence/arson/riot/murder by those outraged that the posters were jailed for the crimes.

Well, that's news to me and I wouldn't have known it if not for this thread. I can well imagine using that exact phrase (see also: killing a cyclist) without even realsing the context to which it has been misappropriated. I assume you know your colleague and what he was describing well enough that you can be sure he was aware of the current meme?

For those who’ve missed it “Hurty words on Facebook” is the phrase used to describe the comments made on social media inciting violence/arson/riot/murder by those outraged that the posters were jailed for the crimes.

I also have to say that I literally had no idea at all that this had any sort of hidden meaning.

That’s the thing with dog whistles, isn’t it. Those not in the know don’t recognise them, and those for whom they’re intended take comfort from knowing they’re in like-minded company. If the organisation doesn’t act strongly enough it risks real reputation harm. If it were someone I managed I’d expect at least a written warning for a first offence depending on context, with a likely reduction for some hasty contrition.

It can only be "a first offence" if it was deliberately offensive. As this thread shows, many folk simply wouldn't know this. Only the OP has any idea if it was used in an offensive context.

I also have to say that I literally had no idea at all that this had any sort of hidden meaning.

same.  if id heard that id have just assumed he meant being a general @rse or bullying over SM or somethings....

Unless you aware of the phrases apparent new meaning then it is irrelevant. I hadn't got a clue and would object strongly to be told that I was living on the moon.

Actually I still don't know what the OP has a problem with as I can't be bothered to find out but I suspect that it is really just a matter of opinion anyway.

Only the OP has any idea if it was used in an offensive context.

I knew too.

Actually I still don’t know what the OP has a problem with as I can’t be bothered to find out but I suspect that it is really just a matter of opinion anyway.

Downplaying incitement to racially aggravated violence and arson is, at best, not appropriate in a workplace.

Especially a very multicultural workplace.

Especially by a relatively senior officer of the Crown.

If he'd still been on my level and on my team, I'd have maybe just taken him to one side and told him what a dick he sounded like. But he's now above my paygrade and so is tackling his behavior. I suspect/hope he's parroting something he's heard without understanding the full meaning, and will learn from this.

A Nigerian born colleague also heard it and collared me as I left work as he suspected I'd done something about it. I suspect if my colleague had reported it it would look a lot worse.

@MoreCashThanDash

He's either dog-whistling or trying to be edgy, either way he sounds like a bit of a whopper.

Loads of them in my gaff too.

Only the OP has any idea if it was used in an offensive context.

I knew too.

There's at least half a dozen folk on this thread that could have used that phrase without it being offensive. How would you know whether the OPs colleague was another of those?

Can you furnish your argument with a couple of examples of using the phrase in a non offensive way?

At the very least it is a dismissal of other peoples' experience and an expression of the belief that one is superior to another - I'm better than you because I don't get offended when people make offensive statements.

Any adult who uses the word hurty should be viewed with suspicion.

+1 on the not knowing the dog whistle context, my comment at the top of the thread was ignorant of that.

Can we also add people who use "hurty words" to the same list as grown adults who say "holibobs" and count the "number of sleeps" to Christmas?

officer of the Crown.

A what?

So there's a dick in your office, just tell him why he's a dick, no need to go postal on here... i'm outraged by your outrage

There’s at least half a dozen folk on this thread that could have used that phrase without it being offensive.

But I don't think there realistically is. Can anyone remember  hearing this phrase prior to the recent attempts to downplay the racially aggravated violence? I'd therefore assume that any current use of it is synonymous with the aforementioned attempt to downplay racism/xenophobia.

@kilo thank you for answering the question and giving us context.

I also had no bloody idea what the problem was until then.

But I don’t think there realistically is

There's half a dozen liars then?

If one googles 'hurty words' the top link is.....this thread.

To me that rather indicates if it is a trope or a dog whistle, it's pretty niche and not too well used. It's past me by and I'd describe myself and waaaay more over-read on current affairs than the average bear.

On the flip side, if HR or the accused google the phrase the first link they'll find is a description of the incident they are investigating/part of by the accuser. That's bound to go well - what with professionalism in the workplace being so important and all.

It was on X not FB but it hardly matters.

What that Tory councillors wife posted during the riots:

“Mass deportation now, set fire to all the f****** hotels full of the bastards for all I care… If that makes me racist, so be it.”

Hurty words or inciting arson/ murder?

@MoreCashThanDash did the right thing imo particularly as this took place in a civil service context.

convert
Full Member
If one googles ‘hurty words’ the top link is…..this thread.

That doesn't happen when I Google the phrase in a browser I don't use to log into this forum.

But I don’t think there realistically is
There’s half a dozen liars then?

Sorry - should have expanded - what I was meaning is that it's such a specific phrase, and one that I've not heard until now, that I think the likelihood of someone innocently using it is highly unlikely. Therefore any current use of it is more likely than not to be associated with trying to downplay racism.

You are also potentially familiar with the language used by people you're in close contact with such as colleagues. This likely wouldn't be a common phrase they'd previously used to describe anything and would therefore stand out as being something new they'd picked up from somewhere.