Seriously though?
My usual response of stick it up your arse, with retaliatory insult isnt always the best outcome. Usual jibes of pie eater etc I couldnt care less about, but when a mate, or spouse of mate throws an unexpected curved ball of "are you planning to lose weight", "you could be so much faster if you lost two stone", etc etc lands it can actually feel pretty fekin insulting.
Btw - I am a large chap with middle age spread of varying dimensions, but fit, and can do 80+ mile rides, ski, sail, hill walk etc.
Flame away if you like 🙂
Just take it on the double chin
Slow clap
Just tell them to naff off, most people are hardly models.
They unfortunately do have a point though that being fat makes you slower and kills you quicker.
If you are happy with that then crack on
My usual response used to be hark at Brad 5hit , but I get the opposite now I'm called skeletor at work since I started training for the ultra marathon I've just done
“you could be so much faster if you lost two stone”
Just tell them that their mum likes it slow 🙂
As a fellow porker, I just remind them that lighter people are far easier to kidnap and there's a lot less effort required to dispose of the bodies
Just take it on the double chin
Made me hoot.
Come on OP man up, I'm 2+ stone over and want to lose them but struggling to do it/get motivated. One day.......
Perhaps they are genuinely concerned about you? It might be something they have been agonising about raising with you and has come out slightly aggressively. Or maybe they are just out of order.
Just tell them it's not your fault. Everytime you bang their wife/mum/sister she makes you a sandwich.
"I can get thinner,you will always be very ugly"
The legendarily famous incident of sledging at cricket, and possibly the best retort ever, was between Glen McGrath and Eddo Brandes
McGrath: "How come you're so fat?"
Brandes: “Because every time I **** your wife, she gives me a biscuit.”
Would you rather they lied to you?
If it's the truth, I think you just need to grow some maturity rather than feel upset about your ego. Maybe it's the push you need.
I broke my arm three times in succession in my 20's.
My boss (20 stone easily) asked if I was going to give up sport*, then the OH's auntie (referred to as 'fat aunt ........' by the OH) made the comment "Ohhhh, I don't know why you put up with him and his hobbies".
Which lead to the now infamous outburst "If one more fat person wants to comment on my broken arm, I'm going to comment on their weight". She's since lost a LOT of weight, like a full normal person's weight. And I no longer have to compulsory attend family events. So on the basis of that, lose some weight.
FWIW I've dropped from 110kg+ to <90kg (and still falling) and it's like having an engine up hills. I can actually chase people up hills on the roadie club runs rather than always being the last one at the back plodding. Once I'd figured out the ballance and improved my diet a bit it's really not that hard. Just cut out the excessive meals (eating a roast dinner or BBQ till you want to lie down in a dark room all evening, now just have a few roast potatoes and veg not potatoes, parsnips, yorkshires, suede, stuffing and veg, or one burger + bun + salad rather than one of everything). Still eaten half a pack of chocolate hobnobs today but will go for a ride to burn them off later.
*I'd missed less days than the company average, about half the average in fact over the two years of broken bones and zero for other illness.
Man up, fatty.
I could do 80+ mile rides, ski, sail, hill walk etc but the first person to seriously tell me I was fat I didn't tell to **** off. I bought myself an Omron blood pressure monitor, did C25K and lost 3 stone.
I never looked back, the benefits are endless. Even my immune system seems to work better.
Lose the weight and when it's gone decide if you want to put it back on again. I don't think you're currently in a position to judge what you *really* want.
Or ignore them (and me) and carry on, it's up to you.
are you planning to lose weight
Nah ... your Mrs doesn't seem to mind
you could be so much faster if you lost two stone
Yeah but then your Mum wouldn't be able to catch me !!
It's not about the size of the nail.....it's the weight of the hammer
Pretty much what outofbreath and TINAS said, Lost 3 stone in the last year and the change is incredible, fitness, speed, confidence, even how people talk to you changes.
I used to think Kate Moss was a cock for that statement about nothing tasting as good as skinny feels (I'm not skinny btw!) but it turns out her sentiment was pretty bang on....
"large", is that one of those special words you use to disguse the real word we all think when someone says it ?
Anyway, in reality you would be faster and live longer if you lost weight. Also losing a bit of weight may make you feel less sensitive about it and not see it as an insult.
I lots 5kg and the difference was very noticable out on the trails.
Even my immune system seems to work better
Weirdly, whenever I go on a diet I get ill far more frequently.
“large”, is that one of those special words you use to disguse the real word we all think when someone says it ?
I describe myself as "a big unit".
I can't help it. I have an overactive chippy gland .
It's me 'ormones or other such reply including big bones
Sit on them
Anyway, in reality you might be faster and you might live longer if you lost weight.
FTFY
Weirdly, whenever I go on a diet I get ill far more frequently.
I never went 'on a diet', diets don't work, a sustainable lifestyle change is what you want to do.
Thisisnotaspoon
suede,
There you go. If you've been gorging on the leather goods, no wonder you were a bit porky 😁
Weirdly, whenever I go on a diet I get ill far more frequently.
Have a diet rather than go on a diet.
Of course the body's going to suffer a bit if you deprive it of nutrients, but it's not the second helping of chocolate hobnobs that are keeping influenza at bay is it?
Similarly if an average day has these 4 thing in it (which is probably 90% of the country)
Cereal
Latte
Sandwich
<5 mile Car journey
Then:
Scrambled eggs
Milky coffee
Salad
Do an errand by bike
That's possibly 800-1000 calories difference, without even having an inkling of going on a diet or actually having to commit to doing more exercise. Cut back a bit on dinner too and you're well into the realms of what people will try and say is unsustainable weight loss!
There you go. If you’ve been gorging on the leather goods, no wonder you were a bit porky
I always thought the crackling tasted a bit under done!
I used to think Kate Moss was a cock for that statement about nothing tasting as good as skinny feels (I’m not skinny btw!) but it turns out her sentiment was pretty bang on….
Exactly this & I had that same conversation two days ago. I thought she was a mad food Nazi when she said it. In reality they're the wisest words ever. Giving up over eating/drinking to improve every aspect of my life has been a terrific exchange. Kate Moss was spot on.
Weirdly, whenever I go on a diet I get ill far more frequently.
We're not all supposed to live into old age. 😀
I never went ‘on a diet’, diets don’t work, a sustainable lifestyle change is what you want to do.
This. I didn't go on a diet. I changed my life and it wasn't even that difficult.
I used to think Kate Moss was a cock for that statement about nothing tasting as good as skinny feels (I’m not skinny btw!) but it turns out her sentiment was pretty bang on….
I doubt a diet of cocaine, Marlboro red and the odd salad is going to leave you feeling that healthy
Her methods probably questionable, aye, but hey ho!
They unfortunately do have a point though that being fat makes you slower and kills you quicker.
It does make you slower but if you are fit it won't make you die any quicker, it's been shown.
So, in conclusion
Q:How to tell a friend to F off when they call you fat?!
A: Lose weight fatty
if you are fit it won’t make you die any quicker
"if you're overweight or obese, you can reduce your risk of coronary heart disease by reaching and keeping to a healthy weight."
https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/risk-factors/your-weight-and-heart-disease
Half the things we do that are any good make you die sooner. I'm sure it's well meant but, if you say to someone "being overweight means you'll die younger", how would you like it if they follow you around and say "eating bacon will make you die younger. Drinking alcohol will make you die younger. Riding a bike in traffic will make you die younger. Worrying about dying younger will make you die younger."
“if you’re overweight or obese, you can reduce your risk of coronary heart disease by reaching and keeping to a healthy weight.”
I suppose the argument goes that you could just be muscular and fit, not fat. But the reality is they're not in that category, the last 30 odd years have not been the "bulking" phase of their training regime in preparation for the "cut" which is absolutely definitely going to happen next week, once the weather improves, and they get a road bike, and that packet of hobnobs is finished.
It's like when people ask "what trousers to fit my cyclist's legs?", they've not got muscular legs, they're not Chris Hoy, they just have fat legs. Satirical problems for fit cyclists seems to be centered around lycra being baggy [shudders].
"I can go on a diet; however, you'll always be a ****."
I describe myself as “a big unit”.
Damn you, autocorrect.
Tough crowd here tonight....
Half the things we do that are any good make you die sooner.
maybe, but we are very bad at quantifying those risks. Its worth researching the numbers, each day of being 5kg overweight is equivalent to 7 units of alcohol or smoking 2 cigarettes i.e. 30 minutes off your life expectancy (1 microlife). microlives
Some activities e.g. exercise add microlives.
Damn you, autocorrect.
Must be the bane of your life Cougs.
I bet people get your first name wrong all the time. 😉
I doubt a diet of cocaine, Marlboro red and the odd salad is going to leave you feeling that healthy
Totally. Cut that salad out. That's how the pros do it
Half the things we do that are any good make you die sooner. I’m sure it’s well meant but, if you say to someone “being overweight means you’ll die younger”, how would you like it if they follow you around and say “eating bacon will make you die younger. Drinking alcohol will make you die younger. Riding a bike in traffic will make you die younger. Worrying about dying younger will make you die younger.”
I'm purely questioning this stated fact:
if you are fit it won’t make you die any quicker
Let's agree our facts before we worry about following people around stating those facts.
Some activities e.g. exercise add microlives.
There was one of those news stories a while back about exercise and life expectancy. It pretty much boiled down to tim on the bike is pretty much added onto your life expectancy 1:1. I mean you'll spend 10/24 of those extra hours trying to sleep in between getting up to pee, and the other 14 dribbling from one or another opening. But you get it back.
Who is tim? I bet he's a graveller.