[Closed] How often do you manage get out without your kids?

Virtually never. They are both now 12.

If anyone tells you it gets easier, they are lying.

All the time, whenever we want.
We don't have any kids.
We do have loads of bikes, holidays and free time though. 😀

Yes, and a miserable old age with no-one to visit you.

Oh wait, I get that as well!

I get out every other week on the bikes with my youngest, he does swear a lot though, as I do.
He's 29 & I'm 59 so it's ok. 😀

'Mark, you w**k**'. 'Dad, you silly t**t'. Etc etc.

( I actually do not like 'children')

Sorry! in answer to the OP..as often as I like!

I get out as often as I like without the kids. Hopefully upcoming court action will reduce that markedly.

Overnight? Never. Evening? I think we've had 3 or 4. Oldest is 8. But then mrs is utterly uninterested in spending time with me she could spend with the kids.

Yes, and a miserable old age with no-one to visit you.

Kids never stay away for the night. Neither sets of grandparents offer. We've been out 3 times all year, but I think my situation is pretty similar to aracer, tbh.

2 or 3 times a year but the grandparents have the kids a fair bit but normally as I've meetings or work and the wifes at work.

We're fine with our own company.

As and when, at 11 she either does sleepovers or stays over at school.

Six days and counting to our second weekend away in a year . The boy is four and we have had about 6 nights and 4 weekends without him .

We've had one overnight where both kids stayed at grandparents - mainly because I busted myself on ice in Grizedale so had a night in Furness General whilst mrs was taken under the wing of another broken mtber's partner to spend the night in Ulverston....

Kids are suddenly fast enough that we don't even get solo mtb blasts anymore (I [i]think[/i] this is a good thing....)

mick.
Marko at Ciclo was talking about your days before kids a couple of weeks ago. 🙂

Had 4 nights out as a couple in the last nine years, doesn't bother me. Just one of those things.

Our two used to stop over every Saturday night, seem to remember it was only from about the ages of 5 to 14ish when they became a little more independent. Mostly one set of gps once their younger cousin started too.

Can only think of one full weekend, didn't want to take the P. Although the inlaws do so for the cousin fairly frequently as well as picking up from school some days.

One almost 3yr old. Not a lot until recently and now have 1 night a week where we can go for a beer or dinner as granny is here. Had 2 weekends away biking for 2 and 3 nights. Grandparents are awesome , they love it !

All the time, whenever we want.
We don't have any kids.
We do have loads of bikes, holidays and free time though.

About 6 times in 12 years. Often only have one of them due to Scouts, Brownies or sleepovers with friends.

I had half the summer holidays home alone as wife and kids conspired to be away at camps, grandparents and friends by the coast. I think I missed them.....

As a parent of 2 kids, my mother would have our eldest no problem but when the youngest was born it became to difficult for her to cope with both. My in-laws never had them at all. We didn't get out very often.
Now we are grandparents and we have had the eldest of our grandsons stay all weekend and in the week since he was 18months, he's now 3 1/2.
We get less time for ourselves now and to add more problems we've now had to become the parents to our grandsons and become their full time carers due to circumstances beyond our control.
It's like living the dream/nightmare twice.
Matt

Three between 5 and 12 here, due to biological dad involvement we get 1 weekend in 6 to ourselves, and usually an additional couple of evenings in between those - although usually those mean a night with control of the telly and no intervening in fights rather than a night out

At that age not at all, but I don't recall ever being phased by it. I guess we were just happy operating as a family. Sleepovers started a bit later, maybe 8/9 yo, but very rare until teens.

2 of our 3 kids were out at sleepovers last night.

We would have gone out for a meal and taken the remaining child, but she started objecting when told she would have to stay in the car and read a book.

So close

Our kids are two and five. We're currently in Belfast for a wedding and they are at the grandparents 😀
But that's our first night away since the youngest was born.

Not got any grandparents or relatives local to us so we don't get to go out together without kids very often, just special occasions really. We do go out for boys/girls nights about once a month though.

And I usually go away for a week by myself once a year.

My parents have never been up to having our two (12 & 8 ) over night due to health issues and the in laws are over an hour away so we count ourselves lucky to get out once or twice a year.

Saying that, Mrs B gets to London a couple of times a month where she combines work with visiting friends/relatives and most years I get a few days away with biking mates.

Went out last night! was our anniversary though
Last year we had a whole weekend away in Prague!!!!

Once every month or 2, which is fine by us, rather sit in and have a few ales, some nachos and a boxset binge these days

Quite lucky my parents live nearby and mil likes time with the grandkids, now we have a spare room its much easier

We obviously have very good grand parents.

Our son has slept over at 1 set from the age of about 2, and spent a week at the others since 4 during school holidays.

Still don't get out much though...

Once a month over the last six months (he's six months old)

We could have done more if we had wanted I reckon. We are lucky that both sets of grandparents are very keen and capable, even though all in their 70's.

We moved to be closer to grandparents. They only have one set and now they have more cousins the sleepovers have reduced but probably 8 times a year I'd say, including 4 during school holidays. Currently laying in bed in a quiet house with a steaming hangover!!

Not very often (twice/three times a year maybe) until our eldest daughter reached an age where she could babysit for a couple of hours for us. Now we manage to get out together one evening a week, which is great.

Can vary from once a month to several months without getting out together. It doesn't bother us as it's part of having kids.

We get a few. We have to book them in early usually, and the grandparents are usually happy to have the kids over night, but they do stay over at ours sometimes if they have to be somewhere the next day.

Christmas is coming up and works do's are a good 'official' night out sort of way of forcing the kids on the grandparent. Once they've don it a few times just keep forcing the kids onto them.
They had you and therefore had to bring you up, but if they want looking after in their old age they need to keep you sweet!! 😉

We have 2 boys (10 &4) and knew from the beginning that we wouldn't be getting much help. We also accepted that having kids was our choice and fully accepted the responsibility .
My wife's parents haven't been in the best of health for a long time and from the beginning my dad has had little/no interest. At the start my mum wasn't too interested either but as times gone on she has become a rock and I don't know what we'd do without her, we still only get out every 2 or 3 months but that's down to us preferring to spend our money on us as a family .

We have 3 (12, 12, & 10). The wife and I make it out three times a year for our birthdays and anniversary. My in-laws have always been happy to help with picking them up from school a couple of times a week, so we would feel guilty asking them to babysit more frequently than we do.

We used to suffer with this problem.. Kids are 6 and 3

We found the simplest solution was to get a divorce and share custody 🙂
I now get 3 nights per week to go out 😆

Whenever we want, both kids in their 20's and live away from home. 😀

We are hoping to go and see Spectre soon at an iMax. It'll be the first time out together since our August 2014 wedding anniversary.

However out youngest has just turned 3 so this will get easier to manage!

We're currently in Belfast for a wedding and they are at the grandparents
But that's our first night away since the youngest was born

And you took time out to post on here? 😉

My sister lives near my folks, and they both work more or less full time, so my parents did a lot of childcare for their kids. Which meant that my mum felt our kids were left out, so they are very keen to babysit. And our kids are angels compared to hers which helps 🙂

We'd planned to cash in hotel and airline points at half term with the kids at their house, but it all seemed like too much effort, cos we couldn't really go where and do what we wanted without spending a decent sum of cash so.. dunno.. might just bring them down to London, dunno.

My lad is 13 and my Daughter is 10. They've never had a sleepover at their Grandparents. Both sets live locally and have hardly helped out since they were born. My wife's mum is on her own and just lives down the road (nearly 80 now so a bit late to expect anything) but she's great. My mum on the other hand is 69, more than capable financially and retired but never offers ever. Just nothing and I cannot understand why (although it echoes my upbringing somewhat).

It is frustrating as a Parent, but I brought them into this world and my responsibility, so who am I to complain?. It does annoy me though when you hear about other kids being whisked away by their Grandparents for trips.

Me and the Mrs hardly get out on our own so its nice when we do. We go for meals a fair bit with the kids now they are a bit older and we cherish the time we all spend together. Sooner or later they wont want to spend it with their farty Parents. 🙂 I have a brother about 12 miles away with 2 kids so we help out with each other when we can which is nice. Good relationships there. You've just got to get on with it.

That's Life eh! Wouldn't swap them for the world. Blooming great kids and I love em to bits.

My parents have my niece and nephew for a night at least once a month and have them during the day once a week. I know my brother relies on this.
Our first is due next week and mum has already said she'll come over when ever we want to go out, they live a hour away. The in laws are in Denmark so naturally we won't get so much help from them.
Sound like we are going to be lucky judging by this thread as the experience of some of our friends.

Any time I want. It's soul destroying.

When he was at school, when he was skiing or doing athletics with his club, and the time it took to watch a film on TV. Not often then.

Our two are 9 and 12. My parents live 10 minutes walk in one direction and my in-laws live 5 minutes the other way, so they have them quite a lot. I knew there was a reason we lived close to them 🙂

We don't. Neither of us has any family to call on. Me as they're all dead and hers all live in London. It's always been like this for us. It'd be nice to have someone to babysit for us from time to time but it's never been possible. I guess when the oldest one gets old enough to babysit we might get a night out one day.

The thing which strikes me from this thread - does nobody actually pay for somebody to babysit any more?

> that's our first night away since the youngest was born

And you took time out to post on here? 😉

In my defence, at the time of writing that I was lying in a hotel bed listening to my hungover wife [s]snoring like a drain[/s] [i]delicately purring[/i] next to me. 😀

does nobody actually pay for somebody to babysit any more?

I wonder if that is partly down to PaedoFear ?

Also there don't seem to be many adults doing babysitting these days (not sure why? Pay? Health and safety?) and we feel our kids are currently too young to be trusted to the typical teenage babysitter.

Are there no longer such things as babysitting circles?

We have a nanny who works 7-4 5 days a week. She works probably 3 Saturday evenings (6-11pm or so) a month when we have date night. Our sons (3 1/2 and 1) are in bed by 7-7:30 so we only really miss their bed time. Still have the full Saturday together as a family.

Date night's important. Getting time to yourselves is important (we find) in keeping your marriage strong = a strong family.

Living as ex-pats and both working, we have a great nanny / maid who's fantastic with the boys. We miss having family around to help out (although the grand parents do love to when we're home in the summer).

We've only had one night away from our boys when they stayed with granny.

Couple of times a year.

We've got two, 10 and 18 months. Sitters is a problem, my Mum had our eldest once, but he was asleep and she came to ours, he didn't even know we were missing, but since little one came she's not been up for it.

My MIL died a few years ago so she's rubbish too.

My Sisters in Law do the bulk of it, they're great,

Sometimes we moan out loud about not going out, but when we just had our eldest and sitters were easy we didn't go out much anyway.

I still get the odd night away for riding, and I'm off to the Alps next summer for a long weekend, Mrs like nights out with her friends now and again.

How often do I ride?

Okay I'm not riding as regularly as I used to i.e. every day but I still ride at least twice a week. I have come to fatherhood later in life and at 45 years of age we are expecting our second. We have no local family and we are both in full-time employment. Childcare is with a childminder just once a week.
The thing is I have led quite a nomadic life upon until now, have travelled extensively and actually have no regrets about giving my time to someone else.
The truth is, I was one of those people saying I didn't want children and I often mocked those with children about my fabulous child free life.

I lost my mother three years ago and I just think that this put things in perspective. What is life about?

I'm also a paramedic and without getting too deep have become acutely aware of how lonely people become in later life and whilst this is no reason to have children it is certainly a common reflective theme for the childless elderly.

Life with children is all about compromise there are gaps within my life that allow me to ride, and yes my partner is very supportive of this and I guess I'm lucky. I also think shiftwork is a huge advantage freeing up space or time when otherwise it would be left purely for weekends.

Am I knackered? You bet!

Am I happy?

Never been happier !!

OP - I know this one. I have twin girls love them to pieces but they are nearly 2 and in that time I'd say twice. One of those was a successful 'date' night where we stayed over in a hotel while grand parents looked after the girls but the other we were both shattered and nearly fell asleep in the cinema.

All the advice is to try date nights but that's easier said than done in my experience. Its a nice idea but harder to arrange than you'd think.

never but we never really did it before so not an issue for use (7months, 6 and 11 years). if you go out we take the kids, we like our kids lol we also get time on our own which is much more important.

Kids one and three here and thankfully are now sleeping reliably well so babysitting a viable option. Have a few good sitters lined up too so it is getting better, but still really limited to 7pm to 10pm. Overnight much rarer as family are not local. Maybe once or twice a year. Got a weekend in Rome without the kids coming up soon, most excited 🙂

If anyone tells you it gets easier, they are lying.

Don't be daft. Ours are nearly 2, and 4. It's way, way easier than when they were babies - not so easy to go out for the night when Mrs R is breastfeeding, and there's the prospect of an extremely broken night's sleep making going out for a few drinks less than appealing.

We get out on our own for the evening about once per month on average. Overnight about once per year.

My wife's mum came up to stay with us this weekend. Next weekend they are staying with my parents. Two weeks after that her parents are staying in our house while we go out for our anniversary, this is pretty typical so yeah, quite often.

Both sets of grandparents are mad about their grandchildren and want them around, I can't imagine things being any different. I'd say almost as often as we want or need without taking the piss.

We get to go out perhaps 3 or 4 times a year as a couple - babysitting duties shared between my wife's parents and a good friend (who we also babysit for).

Possibly once a year our girls (aged 6) stay over at the grandparents and have just (for the first time) had a sleep over at the above friend's house.

We have just got the details of a well recommended babysitter who we plan on using so we can now start to get out more together (Spectre and the new Star Wars film will require nights out for....)

I'd say almost as often as we want

This is pretty much the deal for both my brother and sister with their kids, both sets of grand parents on tap with regular overnight and impromptu stays. Would make a MASSIVE difference to our lives if this were the case. But it's not. Ho hum.

If anyone tells you it gets easier, they are lying.

It does get easier. It's the people who say that two aren't much more work than one that are lying.

It does indeed get easier esp when they can drive and pick you up from the pub

mrblobby

This is pretty much the deal for both my brother and sister with their kids, both sets of grand parents on tap with regular overnight and impromptu stays. Would make a MASSIVE difference to our lives if this were the case. But it's not. Ho hum.

Ironically my sister and my wife's sister have had virtually unlimited access to granny day care. My mum watches both my sisters kids every day and my mother in law watched all 4 of my wife's sisters kids. But in both instances they live next door. So whilst my wife and I are relatively fortunate, we're only getting our "fair" share of the grandparents time.

We have to do a lot of travelling to make it work, but it's worth it, from a free time perspective and from the point of view of my kids having a good/healthy relationship with their grandparents.

The fact that both sets of grandparents live in the countryside is a bonus as I don't want my kids becoming insulated from real life.

None. Nearest family are over 6000 miles away, no really good friends.
But as others, even when I have tried to organise an evening, my wife refused.

We've had one meal out (& a funeral) as a couple in three years.
Maybe 8 nights in that time ,L'il J has stayed at grandparents
(we live away). On each of those occasions by the time we sat down, we both fell asleep or were too knackered to go anywhere.
During the last few visits North , the little bugger pulls the "I want my mammy/daddy/to go home" routine.

We moved to a new road in our area and were invited to join a babysitting club,which was kind, but i politley postponed joining until I knew the members better...We are just at the stage of having maybe 3 or 4 friends who can help out or more importantly ,the boy wants to sleep over with their kids. So maybe we'll get to go and see Macbeth soon. 🙂

Got 3 boys, and it's maybe 1 or 2 nights a year staying away. That only started once the youngest was reasonably self sufficient (i.e. could build own shelter, knew which fungi to eat and which to avoid/spike siblings food with).

It's not that big a deal, and makes the evenings away more of an event for all of us.

I try to get out for a ride every week. Not bothered about going out drinking etc, and the wife can go out whenever she wants. I have no problem looking after my son alone. Give and take innit?

I think you're missing the point, wrecker

I try to get out for a ride every week.

OP:

Out of interest how often do you manage to get out on an evening/night [b]with your other half[/b] without your kids?

Our daughters are 5 + 8.
During the early years we had hardly any nights out, but as they've got a bit older (and my Mum and Dad moved closer) it is getting easier.
We've probably managed to get a night out every 4-6 weeks, and had one overnighter so far this year.

Having my folks 15 mins away is proving to be pretty handy..

Individually we both get out a fair bit, I work away a few nights every month, and my wife does a few things like Brownies in the evenings, so we both get a bit of quality time alone with the kids.

we both get a bit of quality time alone with the kids.

We both work part-time (Mrs doesn't work Mondays and Tuesdays, I don't work Fridays), so quality time alone with the kids is easy enough.

It's quality time alone with each other that is the rarity.

Out of interest how often do you manage to get out on an evening/night with your other half without your kids?