[Closed] How much to spend on a ring?

I think traditionally, it's about a months salary. However, if she knows what you normally spend on a bike, expect her to expect a lot more!

what you can afford.

months salary is bollocks dreamt up by de beers marketing department.

[i]]I think traditionally, it's about a months salary.[/i]
indeed. And yet a month's salary goes much further in, say, Birmingham Jewellry Quarter, than, say, DeBeers...;)

what you can afford. i spent a months salary but it was back when i worked in a shop and had a minimum wage job so it wasnt that much. I designed it myself tho with the help of a shop in Aberdeen, which was good fun. Having said that my wife wasnt happy with the lack of bling and [i]bought herself[/i] a three diamond eternity ring to make up for it! women, what a lot of crazies.

Remember though the whole engagement ring thing is invented by De Beers! I would say spend whatever you want on something you know she will like. She need never know how much it cost and if she is disappointed you didn't spend enough then cancel the engagement and call her a "stuck up cow". Just my opinion 😀

Nothing.
Tell her it would be obscene to put a fiscual value on your love.
Unless of course she does tricks 🙂

I got the wife one from G H Moore in Birmingham. They work with Ti and use reasonable quality stones rather than just big stones.

Do a little research on the 4 Cs

I also decided to get a certified stone. Wife then lost the certificate!

What you think is right and can afford. Ignore all the 'one month/week/3 months' etc 'rules' as they were made up by jewellers.

IIRC at the time, my wife's engagement ring was around 1/3 to 1/2 of my monthly take home salary and that bought a perfectly nice ring that she was happy with.

[i]a month's salary[/i]

What a load of tosh - what does it matter how much it cost or the size of the diamond - just buy her the one she likes (if it costs more than a month's salary then so be it 😉 ). Personally I'm not a bling person (unless it's bike related 😉 ) so mine cost comparatively very little (dainty diamond set into a flat narrow band with curved shape at the front) but I still love it to bits 32 years later. There's a jeweller's advert on the USA online radio station which I listen to, which goes something like this . . . 'getting engaged is the most stressful time of your life . . .'???? Chill out . . . whatever happened to fun?

Well hopefully it won't prove to be stressful!

The above kind of agrees with my thinking. A months salary would put quite a dent in my wedding / honeymoon fund, so I suspect I won't go that high...

So far we've (I kinda gave the game away, so figured best get her something she likes!) looked at a few rings and i've discovered you basically get what you pay for. Certificated stones are more expensive, and more shiney. Hmmm.

My mates missus reckons, 1p more than my most expensive bike. However, i have ensured my missus hasn't heard that... quite hard to argue against!

As above, the "month's salary " bit was a mid-80's marketing ploy to improve sales. In the 70s, I spent a week's wages and that was more than enough.

I like munqe-chick's approach. 🙂

If she'll not object, buying anything other than diamonds makes your money go rather further.

whatever you do dont try re-educating your wife about the fact that there is nothing intrinsicly beautiful or special about a diamond and that she has a deep desire for diamonds because of a set of manipulative soceital pressures. dont do that.

also dont point out the basic economic principle of opportunity cost. dont argue that rather than a tiny piece of metal and stone you could have a wonderful holiday together. probably not the best option.

dont tell her that as an otherwise highly intelligent woman this should all be quite clear to her and that she has fallen in your estimation as a result of this childish desire to extract a large amount of money from you for the sole purpose of showing all her friends a shiny thing.

this is not the wise course of action.

A months wage is a reasonable guide I think.

Try to look ahead as well, she will be wearing it for life (hopefullly!). Remember that if your spending power is likely to increase in the future then what you think is nice now may look cheap to you in the future.

When I bought my wifes 5 years ago I thought it was pretty special (and it was on my meagre income then) but looking at it now it looks pretty cheap and I would have bought a much nicer one now.

about 2k, that said you could buy an arab strap or similar for considerably less! 😀

Go to the diamond quarter in Amsterdam, buy a stone (very cheaply) and they will set it for you. I don't know how you might spend the couple of days while you wait for it to be made though 😈 There's a similar place in Birmingham, but without the entertainment.

Although according to QVC you can get some fantastic Diamonique that women PREFER to diamonds for less than £30

looking at it now it looks pretty cheap and I would have bought a much nicer one now.

There will always be something out there that looks 'nicer' because it costs more. I just don't see it. Similarly I could afford something a lot more expensive than I bought now but the ring my wife has is what was right then and it's special because of what it means rather because of any monetary value.

When I went ring shopping, I went to all the jewellers who were all selling the standard designs for bux, went to a small market store and got a more unique ring, it might be completly fake but at least I knew it was something Mrs XC-Steve liked!

Another Jewellers had the cheek of saying, buy this metal/stone as its price is going up so should you break up you can sell it for more... WTF!

Do women all love diamonds?
Is it a bit presumptious to assume that's what they'll want or am I just abnormal?

When we decided to get married, i told him not to even think about it, it would be a complete waste of cash. however, a pair of hope brakes would be nice...

I think tradition is 3 months isn't it. That's what my mrs told me! I think the modern approach is one months salary [after deductions :lol:]. Think I'll be spending about 1-1.5k because I want something nice but would rather pump money into the wedding itself.

As clubber said it;s what it symbolising that will be the important aspect not how much it cost.

I can highly recommend this company, if you wanted to design your own ring:

http://www.bluenile.co.uk/build-your-own-diamond-ring

Even better if you have friend relatives in the USA, as you can use the .com version, get it shipped to them and avoid the VAT.

3 months lol!

Totally agree with the buy something that'll be nice in 10/20/30 years time sentiment. The one i've got my eye on is a stretch, but it's really quite nice. I guess if I could buy it with pocket change, it would miss the point somewhat.

(Also agree with the whole diamond ring being a De Beers invention. But, seriously, what can you do? Women are mental.)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2002/feb/13/shopping.familyandrelationships1

Has anyone used that blue nile place? Seems much cheaper than goldsmiths!

Mrs Robdob wanted a £16 silver Celtic design ring the most, so I bought that. For our wedding rings she has a £20 plain silver band which she loves, and could easily replace if lost or damaged. I got a £70 plain titanium ring as I had a manual job and I didn't want to take it off at all. It's had paving slabs dropped on it without a scratch so it was money well spent.

I love it that we have cheap rings as I think it makes it really special. Plus my wife doesn't need overpriced rocks on her hands to make her look good and she has no interest in showing such things off.

I may be in a minority but if my future wife had [b]expected[/b] an expensive ring (a months salary, are you kidding?) I probably wouldn't have married her!

I designed and had made my wifes engagement ring. I also don't do the whole big diamond thing so she has a sapphire with a couple of diamonds in platinum. It cost much less than a high street jobbie and she loves it.

[i]Mrs Robdob wanted a £16 silver Celtic design ring the most, so I bought that. For our wedding rings she has a £20 plain silver band which she loves, and could easily replace if lost or damaged. I got a £70 titanium ring as I had a manual job and I didn't want to take it off at all. It's had paving slabs dropped on it without a scratch so it was money well spent.

I love it that we have cheap rings as I think it makes it really special. Plus my wife doesn't need overpriced rocks on her hands to make her look good and she has no interest in showing such things off.

I may be in a minority but if my future wife had expected an expensive ring (a months salary, are you kidding?) I probably wouldn't have married her! [/i]

Most sensible contribution by far.

It's not about the ring....

Oh, and hope it's not too early for congratulations 😀 . Have fun!

[i]Has anyone used that blue nile place? Seems much cheaper than goldsmiths!
[/i]

Yes I got my fiances engagement ring on there, I highly recommend them. I also learnt a lot about diamonds in the process.

Use the slidy bars [url= http://www.bluenile.co.uk/diamond-search?filter_id=0 ]here[/url] and set your criteria. You can then add a few to a short list and email them for advice, they are very very helpful.

I think the ring I eventually got was around 1-1/2 to 2 x my monthly salary, but when I got it valued it was worth around 3 x!!!

Dont go to a high street store you will get ripped off!!!!

whatever you do dont try re-educating your wife about the fact that there is nothing intrinsicly beautiful or special about a diamond and that she has a deep desire for diamonds because of a set of manipulative soceital pressures. dont do that.

also dont point out the basic economic principle of opportunity cost. dont argue that rather than a tiny piece of metal and stone you could have a wonderful holiday together. probably not the best option.

dont tell her that as an otherwise highly intelligent woman this should all be quite clear to her and that she has fallen in your estimation as a result of this childish desire to extract a large amount of money from you for the sole purpose of showing all her friends a shiny thing.

Also agree with the whole diamond ring being a De Beers invention. But, seriously, what can you do? Women are mental.

I may be in a minority but if my future wife had expected an expensive ring (a months salary, are you kidding?) I probably wouldn't have married her

Agreed. The whole expensive diamond ring thing seems like some bizzarre international hysteria.

I agree with robdob. A month's salary seems to be an overkill. WHat's more, I know my SO doesn't expect that. I think lots of people pray on "wedding fever". In much the same way that the average wedding costs thousands of pounds. What a load of old tosh. I'm all for a nice ceremony, but theres no need for it to cost thousands. In my mind anyway. Money better spent on a longer honeymoon!

It makes/made considerable sense (a) as a demonstration to her (and to her family) that the prospective husband has the financial wherewithal to look after her, and (b) as insurance against her struggling to find a replacement husband if he breaks off the engagement leaving the impression that she may be "damaged goods".

For the overwhelming majority of British couples today it makes almost no sense at all and is simply a very expensive treat that many women feel entitled to, after which they are allowed to spend a further massive sum on a wedding. 🙂

I may be in a minority but if my future wife had expected an expensive ring (a months salary, are you kidding?) I probably wouldn't have married her!

Agreed.

Organic - interested to hear about your experience of the blue nile place... am I correct in thinking they're shipped from the states? Any idea what the duties like? Also do you know what the lead time is - I was thinking new years eve / day for the event in question, so i may have left it a bit late...

I went to Hatton Garden and told my wife to get what she wanted - a risky strategy that relied on her levels of acceptable guilt.

Perilous indeed. 😯

If you are trying to find out how hard you are going to be hit, you need to go to a decent jewellers and ask a load of questions. You will find out quite quickly what all the variables are and how they impact on the price and then you can make your mind up from there.

Perilous indeed

Of course I wouldn't have given her the option if I was worried she'd go mad...indeed probably wouldn't have wanted to marry her.

Are some women worried what others will think if their stone is too small? There's a trade off between size and quality for most.

Are some women worried what others will think if their stone is too small? There's a trade off between size and quality for most.

😆 That's what I tell the ladies anyway...

I would suggest that you speak to your good lady about all this. Unless you are sufficently loaded to spend the money with impunity.

She is likely to be a better source of information than us lot!!!

[i]Are some women worried what others will think if their stone is too small?[/i]

Yes, absolutely. IME, they compare them and anyone who loses out will feel sorely aggrieved.

Ewan

I think mine came within 2 weeks, but cant be sure as it was August 2008, so my memory is a bit fuzzy.

Best bet is to email them and ask, or call them.

In my case the diamond came from seattle, the ring was made up in Dublin and posted to me in Scotland. The prices on there are not inlcuding VAT, so you need to add UK VAT to the total. I dont thik I paid any import duties etc, it was all included in the price.

it still beats the high street prices by a mile!! and trust me that whatever you pay, the ring will be worth far more than that (provided you pick a good stone) 🙂

so what about the whole 'surprise' aspect of the proposal or is that just a load of romantic tosh too?

Ewan I just found my E-receipt, it says orders ship in 6 days!!! Go for it.

The VAt bit sucks though, I just checked and what I paid in tax could have bought a half decent bike 😥

I just stuck a lump of coal on a brass curtain ring with superglue.

Mrs carlos has had 2 engagement rings the first cost me £30 in a second hand shop in Whitby , but it was what she wanted (we later found out it has a large ruby in it not a garnet as advertised), after 6 years this ring was almost on it's last legs being old so I bought her a new ring which is a heavy silver band (she's allergic to gold , even 24K)set with a single diamond and cost me £400. Our wedding rings cost £115 for the pair and are simple heavy silver bands, they were made by this bloke->

http://www.amulet.co.uk/amuletop.htm

Do women all love diamonds?
Is it a bit presumptious to assume that's what they'll want or am I just abnormal?

Diamonds, gold, silver etc. mean nothing to me so I don't think you're abnormal. But I'd hope that someone about to get engaged would know enough about their future wife that they'd vaguely know whether diamonds would be well received or not.

family heirloom..... GET IN!

It's all getting a bit materialistic.
The ring should be for you alone and not something to just be showy offy for your friends.
My friends are all outdoorsy types, so big bling rings would get in the way of their activities, outdoors or otherwise.

Spend what you can afford, simple as that. If you want something custom designed and hand made then drop me an email and we'll talk about what we can do, will work out cheaper than shopping around. 🙂

Thanks for everyone's thoughts on this thread. It's been very interesting...

Just been back to Goldsmiths to have a look at the ring she liked, I managed to knock the bloke down 10% without even trying, so I suspect there is a more saving to be made there with a bit of umming and ahhing and air being sucked through teeth.

That said, I think the can pretty much the same setting, with a nicer diamond (I am now fully knowledgeable of clouds, the 4Cs and a load of other stuff!) from Blue Nile for half the amount. Even better, having just gone my my companies 'corporate discounts' site, I've noticed I can get another 10% off. Organic - thanks for the extra info.

I suspect goldsmiths will not be getting my cash.... the ring I was looking at has a 0.33 carat, H colour, SI1, diamond in it. According to blue nile I can get one of those for 300 quid. Certainly eye opening to know the mark up.

Family heirloom here as well, not that I've asked yet.

When she mentions engagement rings I ask her if she'll buy me an engagement bike. The whole ring thing seems very one sided.

My advice would be to buy something that she is likely to wear. So unless you know exactly what she wants I'd get some costume jewellery for the moment and take her to a jewellers after. THe other consideration is would you like to walk around with a ring worth a month's salary on your finger?

Having just bought an engagement ring for my missus I got a very nice platinum, diamond solataire for £2k. We had it made by a jeweller who only does bespoke rings (and actually it worked out cheaper than many high street ones we looked at).

I would have spent more, but that is exactly what she wanted. I find it odd that people begrudge buying their missus a decent ring yet most likely have some very expensive bike bling in their shed.

In 30 yrs time I won't be riding the same bike, but she will have the same ring.

Plus they do go up in value (an investment?) and I also like the idea of an heirloom for the kids.

If your near Winchester I can recommend a really good guy. The whole process of designing and buying was something we both enjoyed.

Oh I did try on 'do I get an engagement watch' ??? But so far have been unsuccessful!

I do live quite near Winchester actually... can you give me the details?

Personally i'm hoping for an 'engaugement EOS7D' but I suspect I may be left to whistle for it!

Bear in mind people saying that their ring has a 'value' or is an 'investment', that there is no real resale market for them, meaning that if you resell it you will only get about 10% or something silly of the supposed (insurance) value. The 'value' you get calculated is only the amount it'd cost you as a punter to get it replaced, not a value you could sell it for.

Can't see your details to email you - my mail is in my profile if you drop me a line I'll respond.

I take joe's point on board as I did say to the missus that infact it was worthless as we would never ever sell it.

Spend what you can afford on something you know she will like and wear. What kind of ring are you thinking about getting?

Back from the dead... went to hatton garden in the end. Got a good deal. Now know much more about chunks of carbon than I ever expected to!

Cheers for all the help people.

just for reference.

Blue Nile is a very large company, origonaly started in the US, but now has a UK website.

All the stones listed on their website, bar their 'Blue Nile Signature Ideals' are not in house stones, but they are part of the virtual lists.
This list is available to virtually all jewelers which sign up to the list. (see qualitydiamonds, diamondgeezer) plus alot of high street retailers. so prices for the same stone can be compared.
The problem is because the retailer doesn't have the stone in house, they can't tell you much about it, other than the info they have from the list. The diamonds can be called in for a short period.

Blue Nile do whats called 'drop shipping' they take your order, which is passed onto the warehouse which has the stone, which ships it to the setter, which sets the stone in the ring, then it is sent on to the purchaser.

I prefer to work with vendors which have their stones in stock, in house - this avoids the occasional problem where 2 different vendors have sold the same stone, from the same list (but because the list isnt updated immediately) you run into a problem where one person will be disappointed.

Plus the guys i work with alot also have exclusive rights with cutting houses in Antwerp which produce diamonds cut to their specification. By which i mean get the top marks from the Grading Labs.
I work alot with a chap called Brian Gavin, who is a 5th generation diamond cutter,
this is one of his stones:
[img] [/img]

Vendors like Brian, Whiteflash.com, Good Old Gold.com, all have a policy of a life time buy back on their branded stones - of around 70% of the original price of the stone should you have need to sell it, and because of the US culture of trading up your engagement ring over a couples lifetime, they also have 100% trade in price against a new stone.

oh and my experience of Goldsmiths is the sales reps know more about the finance package than they do about the diamonds they are selling. 😆

The whole drop shipping thing is what put me off bluenile - it was mentioned on a few finance blogs of all places. I was quite surprised I could tell the difference between different diamonds at hatton garden... i went for the keep going up in quality until I couldn't tell the difference approach (E, VS2 as it happened).

doesnt suprise me 🙂 above SI1 it starts to get very hard to see inclusions, unless your in the habit of carrying around a loupe. 🙂
SI1/VS2 is a good comprise between not having visible inclusions, and the increase in the cost of the stone.

With colour, alot of times, it comes down to how well its cut as to how well it hides it colour.

poorly cut stones dont reflect as much light back to the viewer so they look darker, and as a consequence show the colour of the stone up more.
I've seen J colour stones that are cut like the one above, look less coloured than a G graded stone that wasnt well cut.

The great thing about going to a store is being able to have that selection in front of you to compare.

In the real word, greasy finger prints and dust/dirt on the diamond will make the diamond duller

The guy asked me what I was looking for, and I said 'something sparkly'. Que silence. Then I pretended to grow up and exercise my newly gained diamond knowledge!

Even though I bought my now wife the ring she wanted, I still occasionally find it laying around on the bathroom floor. I'm sure it's only a matter of time until the dog eats it!