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I'd say that the content of the gift is more important than the raw cost, and the next biggest deciding factor should be what you can afford.
I got married earlier this year. We decided first and foremost that we weren't going to expect gifts. People were spending money, in some cases a fair wedge, on travel and accommodation just to be there. That, we figured, was gift enough.
However, we reasoned that some people might want to give a gift anyway and it should be their call rather than ours. I suggested asking for donations towards the honeymoon; money was tight (cos, y'know, we were paying for a bloody wedding) and there was nothing we really needed. My OH reckoned that was rude, and that a gift list would be expected. And indeed, quite a few guests did ask for a list.
So, we put together two lists; a John Lewis one with the traditional gubbins, crockery and soft furnishings and the like, and an Amazon list with more esoteric items like Blu-ray box sets and board games. Our invite then said something like, "we really don't want you to buy us anything as your present to us is the fact that you're coming to share our day, however if you really want to then here's the list."
In the end, I was quite blown away by people's generosity. We had a fairly emotional day going through everything. Some people hadn't spent very much at all, some had spent hundreds. And you know, that's absolutely fine. We have friends who are on benefits, and friends who are on a six-figure salary. And it doesn't matter; every single thing we opened from the £200 piece of art to the hand-made card all made us think of the persons donating and how sweet they were to have thought of us.
Our wedding was the culmination of a lot of work, it was a wonderful day full of love and warmth spent surrounded by people close to us, and whether someone had spent a fortune on us or nothing at all is really, really low on the list of what was important.
Was there a bucket on your wedding list Cougar ? Cos I want to throw up now.....
a shark diving trip for their honeymoon
Is that a euphemism?? 😯 😯
My wedding had me, MrAdamW and 13 close friends.
We had a fantastic day. We told everyone not to buy us presents but to give to charity instead. We'd been together 11 years so had everything we needed.
Then we all had a nice dinner and people turned up at my house to play on the console before everyone went home.
Enough to buy a Liberator cushion. That way they can always think of you when they use it.
I was advised to just ask for cash/vouchers because many people would prefer giving money rather than having to go shopping for us. Therefore, we did. We didn't have enough room in our flat for anything we didn't already have, (but plenty of room in the bank, to save up for a house deposit). Most of our friends are young/still living with parents, but we received £20-£100. A few older family members dug deeper. £20 is not an insult, as it all adds up, we were grateful for every penny. The idea of expecting guests to cover the cost of the wedding is ridiculous.
no euphemism natrix they spent there honey moon in south africa deep sea fishing and wildlife safariing, and moved on to madagascar,the only thing they hadnt book that they wanted was that but they had kind of spent up by then they ear enough to have a lavish wedding and honey moon something i will never be able to say. Plus when we were younger we all went to mexico they fell ill and couldn't come on the diving trip to which i rubbed it in there faces for quite some time.