[Closed] How much allowance for a teenager ??

Pay for her school clothes / money to get here to and from school, cut her allowance completely and make her go out and get a saturday job.

I'd wait until she's 17.10

"17.9"? You mean 9, presumably?

Personally, if she's throwing tantrums, she'd get bugger all until she learned to behave properly. Not behaviour I'd want to be rewarding.

(ObDisclaimer, I Am Not A Parent)

Offer to double it, but explain that in .1 of a year's time when she turns 18 and is thus considered a completely independent adult that you'll be charging her rent.

I got £40 in 1994, £65 in todays money, but justclothes and entertainment. I got a job if I wanted more.

Wait, teenager? 17? Shouldn't she be paying you board?

Get a job? I worked from about 12up, and that was my pocket money. My dad would help me out with things that I'd saved for, for example, when I'd saved £300 for my first proper mountain bike, he went with me to the shop to pick it up and paid £150 extra so I could have some Rockshox indy XC's, likewise, if i saved up for a festival ticket, he'd get me a case of beer etc. that seems the best way to me, as she learns the value of money, but doesn't really go without. Also it makes it much easier to get a job later on when you have work experience in several menial jobs (by 21 I'd worked in an office, a shop, a petrol station, a farm, been a bar man, a waiter, a cook and spent a summer working in IT.)

(Edit: that makes me sound like I'm blowing my own trumpet a bit... Well I am, I'm awesome! But my fiends with teenagers follow the same system)

what age is she? 17.9 seems a strange typo..

edit: oops unless you mean nearly 18 of course.. but the throwing tantrums is a bit scary surely at that age?

no pocket money, as soon as your old enough to get a job, thats when you start paying costs towards the house.

edit - agreed with meehaja, sounds like my childhood.you can always tell the difference at uni/college etc between people who worked for stuff and people who had been given stuff.

I didnt get an allowance.

Parents paid for school uniform. I walked to school and then when I was 16 I got a saturday job and paid the rest myself.

+1 for meehaja's suggestion.

Teach her the value of money and reward her by topping it up every now and again. Might actually cost you more in the long run but will make for a better rounded kid who knows a lot more about the world

This thread is useless without pics.

If you mean she is nearly 18 then yeah, WTF is she getting an allowance beyond her safety and educational needs?

This thread is useless without pics.

[img] [/img]

She has to pay for her own clothes, including for school, for public transport amd for all her entertainment

before everyone tears into you, ^is good!! it might help people responses if you let us know how much peace and quiet cash you're giving her at the moment?

**** me, when I was 17 I was serving in Bosnia. Tell her to get a part time job if she wants money

perhaps if you offered her a cup of tea she wouldn't be so unreasonable? 😉

Oh she isn't one of those poor unfortunates who's turned up back at school after summer without Louis Labouton trainers is she? And next thing you'll doubtless be moaning when she gets bullied. But what else can you expect. A young lady needs certain essentials to make her way in the world

Frankly I think you're a monster.

Bringing up childern when you dont have them is always easy 🙄

In reality asking on this forum will just get a load of superior sanctimonious responses which in the real world wont work.

As a parent myself I find the difficulty not in ensuring my own childern realise the value of money but in trying to steer a course through the reaction by other parents to their offsprings.
For example my youngest is 12 and likes to play on his Xbox. The majority of his friends have games with 18 ratings and this doesnt seem to concern their parents or the fact that they spend very long periods of time playing them (I know this to be true) These are professional, apparently intelligent people!
I wont allow them but it causes a great deal of argument and upset.
Peer pressure is the biggest issue for children today and the amount of pocket money you decide on unfortunately will be partly dicated by this.
Good luck

I think that the 17.9 means 17 years and 9 months.

Could be wrong though.

Classic Farmer 😀

Surely the only way to work this out is to budget what she has to spend, then decide how much you want to give her to fritter away on clothes she doesn't need, burgers and entertainment?

I'd guess a tenner a week is reasonable, get a Saturday job if she wants more. Don't take any guilt trips about rich parents - I know some lasses who have Dads worth £millions, but they tend not to be splashing loads of cash or being funny about those who can't.

You might suggest that more money comes with more responsability. I had to get a job if i wanted more money, although it was a huge ball ache. Did go to boarding school but if i wanted spending money during term time i had to work all summer. Saved up bout £700 each summer and that did nicely for the whole year since i did'nt have much to spend on. If you were to up her allowence i'm not sure that wouldn't teach her she will get rewarded for having tantrums. I'm only 25 though, it taught me alot about work ethics and the value of money/working hard.

Prior to starting at 6th form, I was on a fiver a week pocket money (in 1993).

When I started 6th form, I got that plus enough to pay for my bus pass and a quid or so extra to round it up to £35. I wanted/needed more, so I got a part-time job.

Thats good advice tbh from Tron.

Too many people especially younger people do not have any knowledge of budgeting, this could be a good way of educating her to budget.

A situation I will be facing soon as well. Currently they get their essential clothes bought for them, the odd treat and £5 a week pocket money. They have a requirement to save at least £5 a month by putting it into a savings account to try and encourage the notion of saving at least something.

When I was that age I got a pittance for pocket money although essential clothing was bought for me. Anything else I wanted I had to save up for. I got a part time job and that taught me the principle of going out to work and how to manage my own money. This doesn't work for everyone or every circumstance but it worked for me. One of the most important things I think we can teach our kids is the value of money - and all that that means.

Heh heh !! I expected a certain lack of sympathy:-) By 17.9 I mean "almost 18" - and yes - that photo is accurate, at least as far as personality is concerned. Luckily she inherited her looks from her Mum, not me.

Agree about the job but we live in soggy Holland and getting a Saturday job without speaking Clog-talk is not easy.

Post a picture and i'll tell you what i'd give her.

DrJ - pay her the amount she wants to learn dutch.

1) she gets to learn a new language.

2) you get some results for money you're paying

3) once she's got enough Dutch to get a job you can stop paying her.

4) put a timetable together - ie. she's got until Feb/MArch to learn 'x'.

everyone's a winner...

When I was 17.9 (which wasn't all that long ago) I was in a similar situation with friends parents earning a lot more money than mine, although I was lucky as it meant I got £20 a week ema for turning up to school 😛 I got a sunday job, had to pay my mum £20 a week board, but still had plenty of money for everything I needed (and enough to mean that uni is comfortable so far 😛 )

THEY DRINK TEA IN HOLLAND

In 3 months time i will have a quiet word with her and i won't expect you to make me a cup of tea at breakfast when we finally meet 😉

All these joys to come! I'm preparing my son that he'll have to get a part time job as soon as he is legally able to!

[edit] I assume that her clothes for school are not uniform, as you live in the Netherlands, so therefore she wants more money to buy branded stuff. Have they not encountered Primark in the Netherlands yet?

tough situation for her if she doesn't speak the lingo....

I do sympathise with her to a certain extent - if her experience is seeing all her mates get exactly what they want when they want, she probably feels like she's on a shitty deal.

However, by the time she's 25, she'll be thanking you for instilling some values and a work ethic while her trustafarian mates are still living off daddy.

Don't make her work. Work is frankly sh*t, especially for 17 year olds, and she'll waste enough of her precious life doing it after college/uni. So give her a break 🙂 I got a job when I was 16, but it was so massively and utterly depressing I gave it up - I preferred to do without the money! After all, time is one of the most valuable things in the world once your food and shelter are taken care of.

Why not have the 'review' she asks for? Make it like a budget meeting at work. She has to put forward a case, stating why she needs it and what benefits YOU'll get for your money. Then you can state your side of it and whatever budgetary concerns you have.

My parents always hid the finances from me, presumably so that I didn't blab about how much they made, but that meant I had no idea how much money we did or didn't have, so didn't really understand why we couldn't have things.

If her friends have more than her - tell her to suck it up. That'll be the same all through life, you've just got to get used to it, and the sooner you do the sooner you'll learn not to splash out on credit cards all the time.

Oh, and make her take Dutch lessons if you live in Holland FFS.

I only left college a year and a half ago but i got £30 a week. My parents reasoning was this is what i would get on EMA if my parents didnt earn what they did. I wouldnt say they are rich but are well off financially. Being 60 with no mortage is obviously quite nice!

Regardless though of how much they make I have friends whos parents dont relaly pay for anything for them. My girlfriends parents said she had to pay her own way through uni whilst they waste moeny on new tvs every year or so and always buying new or near new cars. It sickens me when someone treats younger people/their children in a certain wya just because they were treated like that. Grow the **** up frankly.

That said I think molgrips is pretty on the mark with the having a review. I'm not saying spoil here because all us 'kids' need to be loaded but making kids work when they should be learning is not a good idea.

Dunno about an allowance, we were poor and I had to get a job when I left school
But on the tantrums, when the wifes 18yr old son started having 'i want' tantrums I recorded one on my phones video, and later when he had calmed down i played it back to him, I think the sight of himself acting like Kevin the teenager shocked him out of it, they don't realise how they are acting most of the time I think,
I also said that I'd put it on YouTube if he kept it up, which went down well 😆

Only you can know what is both reasonable and that you can afford.

For reference I give my eldest two (15 and 16) an allowance of £100 pcm(plus their mobiles go through my company), and their mum (my ex) tops up as and when. Out of this they pay for most things.

My youngest gets £50, and usually spends it in lump sums every other month or so.

I'm not one for kids working (I didn't, so don't see why they should), I'd rather they enjoyed their life. The eldest two are very active sportsmen, playing in local cricket and football teams.

And they've all got bikes too.

Kids are expensive, fact - but I'm glad I've got them.

I think I got £50 per month whilst I was at sixth form college (Sept 1996 - June 1998) which seemed reasonable.

My parents paid for the bus to and from college too and I had a job at a pub some evenings and the local garden centre every weekend which brought in several hundred per month too.

It used to do me fine between school holidays when I'd work all the hours I could manage at Argos. It kept me in skateboard decks, Etnies, snakebite and black and mailorder punk albums anyway.

I feel sorry for kids now, those sort of casual jobs a re a lot harder to come by.

When my 15 year old wanted some extra cash over the summer holidays, I did a list of all the jobs around the house that I didn't want to do, and offered her £5 an hour to do them. This didn't include the general tidying etc that I'd normally expect her to do, but did include shredding, filing (I work from home), typing up stories that my grandad wrote etc. She had to keep a proper record of the time she spent, and I paid her accordingly. Worked really well.

Difficult one re money as she is 'getting on' a bit now but she if she can't get some extra cash from a part-time job then she obviously needs something from you. I wouldn't be tolerating tantrums at that age, they should have been over and done with years ago, she's an adult and should behave like one if she wants to be treated like one.

Does she help around the house to earn her keep, if not that is one way of justifying her allowance.

I can't really preach though, mine is 22 and although she had a paper round at 14 and a few jobs at uni, it certainly wasn't enough to pay for anything other than nights out, which is obviously much more important than food, clothing or rent.

She is presently in Rio before heading for Bolivia and then Chile. Trust me, anything you 'pay' her now will pale into insignificance a couple of years down the line 😯 😆

Khani - that's a great tip 🙂 I shall use that one.

Surfer - I have the same problem with my 12 year old "all my mates play on Modern Warfare...".

Other than that it's +1 for wot molgrips sed...

Molgrips makes sense. Work sucks and life is short, why spoil it for them just because your parents made it harder for you?

I don't think kids are so linear in their thinking that working for it makes them value money. I know two kids who's parents are insanely rich (think multiple millions pound houses on different continents) and they have lots of stuff. I have never once seen or heard them asking for anything.

Conversely I had numerous jobs throughout my teenager years as I only got 3 quid a week, and I am still a frivolous, money wasting, demanding and spoiled little shit.

My kids are only little 3 1/2 and 9 months, i am looking forward to sending them to private school, buying them stupidly expensive trainers and watching them live their lives of luxury, because that is what I hope will happen, call it a vicarious pleasure on my part but I really and honestly hope my kids have the life of Reilly.

I stopped getting pocket money when I was 13 and allowed to get a paper round.

When I was 17 I received no pocket money at all! I had a milk round before school and valeted cars at the weekend. I also laboured all of my summer holidays. As soon as I was 18 I worked in a bar. I had 3 jobs and school.

I was working so hard I failed all of my 'A' levels. 😐 (my university place was revoked.)

In a strange way I'm glad I missed uni and the debt (not the experience though) I now think I know the value of money better than most though.

Daughters are different though, wouldn't make mine work like I did, how's £100 a month sound? 🙂

DrJ - there are plenty of expat brats at the BSN in The Hague. Now I'm not a parent, but if I was I would be moving heaven and earth to make sure that my daughter didn't become one of them.

Whichever school she is in she will be learning enough Dutch to get a waitressing job, and working alongside the dutch will help her with the language more than getting lessons would.

So my prescription - tell her to go and earn whatever she wants to spend.

My mate on the desk opposite me is a farmers son, he knows the value of money and he is the tightest most miserable bastard I know, do we wish to turn our kids into people like that?

He certainly thinks more about his approach to his requests now, which was 99% of the problem tbh,

I think working does make kids appreciate the value of money. The language issue just seems a convenient excuse.

You need to make sure that work does not negatively impact on study but not too difficult imo.

Having a job teaches kids a sense of responsibility as well - maybe she would not be throwing tantrums at 18 if she had been doing a paper round from the age of 13?

Having a job teaches kids a sense of responsibility as well - maybe she would not be throwing tantrums at 18 if she had been doing a paper round from the age of 13?

Come on do you really think this statement is valid or makes any sense?

No one really knows how to bring up kids, they respond in the strangest ways to your inputs, and watching 999Nanny or whatever its called is not a way to learn how they will react either.

I did a paper round as a kid, and worked in the supermarket. I hated ever second of it and I grew up to be a debt-ridden spendthrift.

Kids are people, and are therefore a sh*tload more complicated than that. As a kid, if I had it I spent it, if I didn't I didn't. I bought some sensible stuff, some not. It didn't really matter where it came from.

Kids are people, and are therefore a sh*tload more complicated than that. As a kid, if I had it I spent it, if I didn't I didn't. I bought some sensible stuff, some not. It didn't really matter where it came from.

This is about as real and accurate as it gets..

Wow, some people on here are giving their kids shit loads of cash. This might explain why all my students can afford better phones than me.

I got a job when I was 12 to pay for my own things.

One thing I wish my parents had taught me though, was the value of money.

I'd say +1 for Molgrips, but also, she needs to understand why you can/can't give her x money.

If she works for it, she might value it, as long as you don't give it away willy nilly

Why not try a social experiment and give her all of your money and she has to pay the bills, shopping etc dish it out fairly.

What's the worst that could happen? 😯

but also, she needs to understand why you can/can't give her x money.

Yeah. I think it'd be good to be involved in the household management as a youngster - I had to find out a lot of stuff for myself later in life.

Pocket money stops at 18 in our house, 13 year old currently gets £10 a week plus £15 monthly mobile top up for her free texts.

Told her if she goes to Uni, she can have a room to come back to in the holidays, if not she can pack her bags and make her way in the world. Sorry but your an adult when you reach 18, time to cut the apron strings and let them go. Harsh but they have to learn sometime, don't get me wrong I'm not a **** and wouldn't see any of them on the streets but I think they need to make thier own path in life and it's the only way to learn.

Having a job teaches kids a sense of responsibility as well - maybe she would not be throwing tantrums at 18 if she had been doing a paper round from the age of 13?

Come on do you really think this statement is valid or makes any sense?

No one really knows how to bring up kids, they respond in the strangest ways to your inputs, and watching 999Nanny or whatever its called is not a way to learn how they will react either.

I do think it is valid. Having an 18 year old screaming for free money when she is perfectly capable of earning herself is pretty sad. The sooner kids learn lessons about the value of money and the dignity of working rather than sponging the better.

From some of the responses so far we could probably have a STW special edition of Young, Dumb and Living Off Mum.

13 year old currently gets £10 a week plus £15 monthly mobile top up for her free texts

£55 a month at 13? Blimey.

What do they buy out of that? Do they pay for their own lunches at school and their own clothes too?

Molgrips is spot on that they kids are people and will all react differently.

We were skint growing up, I started working at 12 and have never been out of work since other than a two week period.
It hasn't taught me to be good with money in the slightest. If I want something I get it. simples.
Fair enough I work hard for it but I'm a spolit git, albeit a hard working one

**** me, when I was 17 I was serving in Bosnia.

That's something for her to consider. That elsewhere in the World, people her own age and younger are involved in wars. While she frets about the latest George Michael single (or whatever it is teenage girls fret over these days I don't know).

I had about £5 a week from 15-18, saturday job got me another £20 or so per week.

In high school there was a free bus

In 6th form my parents bought me a cheep 50cc 2 stroke scooter in the first year (~£600) and paid my 125cc honda's insuance (sold the 50cc for £500 and bought the honda for £1100 toped up with my own money) in the 2nd year (~£350) and a tank of petrol once a week (£10).

Basicly, whatever I've paid for through saving up for something, they've usualy matched (inlcuding buying my first car at 23!).

It's all well and good saying 'get a saturday job', but at 16/17 you're earnings are limited to about £25 a day as min wage doesn't apply. That buys what? A t-shirt from primark, a pint in the pub and a cinema ticket, hardly the life of Riley!

There's a very good article in today's Independent about this very subject.

[url= http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/money-youre-on-your-own-son-2078389.html ]Here it is[/url]

It's all well and good saying 'get a saturday job', but at 16/17 you're earnings are limited to about £25 a day as min wage doesn't apply. That buys what? A t-shirt from primark, a pint in the pub and a cinema ticket, hardly the life of Riley!

They shouldn't have time for the cinema and pub.

At 17, while at 6th form, I worked Monday and Tuesday evenings (5-9 each), saw the girlfriend on a Wednesday evening, went to ventures on a Thursday evening and worked on a Friday night evening (6-10).

I started on £1.95 an hour in Morrisons at 16 in 1993, so my ten hour week got me just over £80 a month.

[i]Told her if she goes to Uni, she can have a room to come back to in the holidays, if not she can pack her bags and make her way in the world. Sorry but your an adult when you reach 18, time to cut the apron strings and let them go. Harsh but they have to learn sometime, don't get me wrong I'm not a * and wouldn't see any of them on the streets but I think they need to make thier own path in life and it's the only way to learn. [/i]

Hmm, we haven't got you wrong - you are a *

Kids need parents, even as adults; and parents will need their kids, at some point...

Do they pay for their own lunches at school and their own clothes too?

Own clothes yes unless it's uniform or essentials and if she wants takeaway she pays for that too.

Pah, all these hard luck stories are pathetic compared to mine.

Aged 13 to 15 i worked a milk round on £20per week and managed to save up £1500 in my savings acount.

Aged 15.5 my parents moved to the other end of the country and agreed to leave me behind (I didnt want to go). They agreed to let me stay behind in the house they were struggling to sell (Cos they wanted too much for it)

I was working a saturday job for £25 per week and doing my gcse's then alevels.

I had to pay the council taxt out of my £25 per week as my contribution towards 'board' which funnily enough maounted to my £25 per week. I then had to 'find' some money to pay for my food. Funnily enough when the £1000 savings i had ran out i ended up running up enough council tax debts to land my dad a CCJ (I kept it quiet). He paid it and then frog marched me to the bank at 17/18 to get a £1000 loan out to pay him back. It took me 2 years to pay off that loan. The next day i called my mam & dad to tell them i had moved out and enjoy their money.

I wont even discuss money with my parents these days.

A child needs to respect and understand money but they also shouldnt be slaves to earning it either. At nearly 18 your daughter shouldnt be so relient on daddy imo

I started on £1.95 an hour in Morrisons at 16 in 1993

I may well have worked with you! I must have started a little earlier as I remember it being £1.87.

I also worked in Perrys glass collecting

Being 16 in sixth form earn £50 quid in the weekends then my allowance is £150 a month but because we live in a village

£74 a month goes on travel
£76 goes on food

then I have to buy my own clothes

I may well have worked with you! I must have started a little earlier as I remember it being £1.87.

Could have done 🙂

North Road Morrisons, from October '93 to when I left for uni in '96. Essentially, I faced up non-foods for 12 hours a bloody week, for Adrian.

When I was 18 and in the sixth form (7yrs ago) I didn't get an allowance. Sure my parents would help me out but TBH I rarely needed help. I worked in retail 1 night a week and Saturday/Sunday. I was able to go out twice a week and run a car (didn't need to pay board)

I was taught from a young age the meaning of money and my first proper MTB was when I was 15 and saved up money from my 3 paper rounds (including Xmas tips) to buy a Sunn xircuit which I had built with full XTR. My parents couldn't believe that I could save up that kind of money so paid half towards it as they didnt want me spending all the money I saved.

I was never spoilt as a child £30 max for birthdays and £100max for Xmas. I had mates who would get over £1k spent on them at Xmas whilst their parents struggled to pay the bills. I had my own house, 2 nice cars, 2 nice motorbikes & 2 nice mountain bikes by the time I was 22 (all the important things 😆 ). I put it down to being taught that you don't get what you don't work for from a young age.

find out the going rate for:

3 litres of white cider..
half ounce of golden virginia..
entry to a club..
two grammes of miaaow miaaow
halfs on a 'teenth of skunk..
1 morning after pill and taxi home and bob's yer uncle..

They shouldn't have time for the cinema and pub.

At 17, while at 6th form, I worked Monday and Tuesday evenings (5-9 each), saw the girlfriend on a Wednesday evening, went to ventures on a Thursday evening and worked on a Friday night evening (6-10).

So you think everyone should have to do that?

Some frigging twisted logic on here.

I think they need to make thier own path in life and it's the only way to learn.

It bloody well isn't the only way.

My Grandma said to my Mum that once she got married she was on her own completely. That seriously traumatised my Mum and gave her a fair few complexes. She made (and still makes) triple sure that me and my Sister are ok. We've had plenty of help from them and we've paid it all back and are now prosperous. For that, I thank her. Feel the love 🙂

So you think everyone should have to do that?

Some frigging twisted logic on here.

Logic? It's STW!

I know quite a lot of kids that age. I'd say the ones with interests and jobs are the best adjusted and best placed when applying to university and the like.

That's only based on a sample of 8000 or so, however, so not scientific.

miketually - Member
Wow, some people on here are giving their kids shit loads of cash. This might explain why all my students can afford better phones than me.

Why wouldn't parents who can afford it feel like giving their kids some of their money? It's not like we can take it with us.

I'd say the ones with interests and jobs are the best adjusted

My jobs just made me utterly depressed and miserable. I don't think that'd have helped me get into uni 🙂

Interests, yes. Jobs.. well I dunno. To me, a job is something you have to do to live. If someone else is paying you subsistence then why would you? All those "life lessons" will come soon enough.

Here's how I'd judge this one.

[i]throwing tantrums[/i]

The instant she did this I'd just stop all money. Wait till she calms down and then start discussions. As soon as any parent bends over to a trantrum they've lost the argument and might as well hand over their credit card.

I didnt get anything at all when i was that age ....ie... 3 months ago
well not cash only a scott spark and some cheap and tacky expose lights and some assos shorts and ....think your self lucky and give her 40 a month 😛
Bruce

Like toys19 I spent my youth working like a dog - no pocket money so I had two paper rounds and if I wanted to save up holiday money my mum would give me a list of jobs (much like Mrs Tricky's kid on page one).

These jobs were usually pretty awful; valetting the cars, degreasing the oven, cleaning the inside of all the windows in our many-windowed house, etc... And mum was brutal in her judgement of my work - nothing but perfection would suffice.

When I went to uni, there was no financial help at all, despite the fact that my folks were reasonably well off - my sister got the same '[i]stand on your own two feet[/i]' treatment, which made me feel a little better!

The result of all this value-instilling torture is that I'm not great with money - I spend it as I get it as though there might never be any more money in the world.

So if I ever get round to having kids, I'm going to be fair with them and give them a decent amount of spending power.