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Name: zoltan the great mind warrior
CMR: "you will give me 100"
Likes: quantum mechanics, chaos theories, earrings, honey dipped monkey scrots
Dislikes: brian cox! that is all!
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name - Winky von ****letooten
CMR - 3/100
Likes : cracking one off when no-one is looking
Dislikes : cracking one off whilst being watched
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Name - Ianto the Infinity Dog
CMR - exponential calculus multiplied by unlimited woof woof-bow wow/100
Likes : 3 Stooges, 2 Ronnies, 1 mind-blowing psych trip into the unknown
Dislikes : H G Wells, Tranmere Rovers and getting whacked in the chops by Ianto's majestic nutsack
Molgrips, can't you just go guy hoovering
Hehe, I do all the hoovering around here. Which is to say, not often. We're paying someone £50 to come clean the carpets properly this evening, on account of them being really very shitty.
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Name : What? Help! who? Christ! Who are you people?
CMR : arrrggghhh!
Likes : Way too much acid.
Dislikes: Way too much acid.
Some excellent contenders here... anyone keeping tabs on who's winning?
Confused Dog says:
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my top 3 so far is
1. oozi 9 carroteater
2.lanto the infinity dog
3.: What? Help! who? Christ! Who are you people?
Hows this for a deal......at 4pm we have a vote on the best, i will send the winner a 4 pack of there choice of lager?
A curfew might be in order...
And I have over an hour and a half to reach-around your oozi 9 carroteater.
😀
Hows this for a deal......at 4pm we have a vote on the best, i will send the winner a 4 pack of there choice of lager?
This is STW, four bottle of your favourite obscure micro brewery real ale...
A curlew might be in order...
If you insist.
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Name: Annette "Twinkletoes" Beige
CBR: 34/100
Likes: Throwing some mad shapes on the dance floor. And throwing TVs out of hotel windows.
Dislikes: Paul McCartney
captian im afraid its another bird!
Although annette and i share the same dislike for that wrinkled scouse berk!
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Name: Trifling Ed
CMR: 12
likes: black hair dye, gothic music,robert smith
Dislikes: Not being able to reach behind and finish the Dyeing process!
For Molly:
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Name: Ruthie 'the Rug' Rodriguez
CMR: 17.5/100
likes: charging good decent STW folk the bargain price of only £48.50 to tongue-clean their rugs, carpets and assorted middle-class upholstery, dawn or dusk
Dislikes: outsource carpet cleansing 'specialists' who bend good decent STW folk over, Ruthie's motto being 'ain't no rug cleaning job worth more than £49.00, inc. VAT'
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Name : Simon
CMR : -14
Likes : Hugs, contemplative solitude, the ripple of breeze across a wild meadow, butterflies, the smell of egyptian cotton sheets dried outside on a sunny day.
Dislikes : The blackouts, The voices, Waking up covered blood after loosing three days and with no idea where I am, just the slow dawning knowledge that it has happened again.
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Name: Laquisha
CMR: 42
Likes: denzel washington
Dislikes: drunk zebras trying it on
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Name: Mrs I'll show you my Tiggywinkle if you show me yours
CMR: 2.71828
Likes: Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain
Dislikes: Rupert Holmes, Immac
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Name: Dances with Essex Girls
CMR: 32/100
Likes: The cocktail mixers at Trader Vic's, quality tailoring and coiffure and Chinese food
Dislikes: The fact that they closed down Lee Ho ****'s. Although, that;s mainly nostalgia. The menu had been going downhill for years.
And the winner is...
you for hijacking a thread with it somehow staying positive and funny.
Votes please.....
If not camo wins for making this thread pure genius
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Stevie Bunnder wins it for me!
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Lula De Roast for utter wrongness
The whole thread should be preserved and put in one of those time-capsules for future lifeforms to peek at. They'll then understand how we managed to extinct ourselves. Instead of hunting and gathering and general survival, we used mankind's most advanced invention to produce stuff like this!
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Name: Cosmic Brian
CMR: 80/100
Likes: Weed, Whiskey and Wisdom.
Dislikes: Mayans, Telephone Sales Types and Last Orders At the Bar...
Thanks all! 😀
Too many excellent comedy mammals to go for a single winner, but my favourites are willard's Hakori cat, Oozi, Simon the dog, the Squirrel of Steel, BatSquirrel and Dances with Essex Girls... but then there's the Phil cat...
Impossible to decide!
While I head off to refine the rules for Comedy Mammal Top Trumps and whittle through my short list I'd like to thank all those who posted for making my lead up to Christmas!
Good job!
Instead of hunting and gathering and general survival, we used mankind's most advanced invention to produce stuff like this!
* suspects Brooess is wise beyond years *
I am awarding camo with the 4 pack for giving the thread the true essence it deserves. I have laughed until I almost deposited brown stuff in the Levi's!
Choose your tipple sir? It shall be in the post tomorrow
Aw shucks!
No worries about the beverage offer - I had fun!
Here's a last one for the cheap seats:
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Name: Elsa the Embarrassed black-and-white Static Dog
CMR: 94/100
Likes: the possibilities for pointless excellence on STW, Tulisa and CFH's never-ending ski thread
Dislikes: The knowledge that, once the bag comes off (and come off it will), the inevitable shaming visual of Elsa spray-dump all over the background
Laters all,
camo
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Name: Nigel "Disco Funkster" Worthington
CMR: 99.2/100
Likes: Getting down on it, busting a groove, the electric boogaloo, a nice tight seal
Dislikes: New Romantics