[Closed] How many of you are bored stiff at work and clock watching waiting for it to end

@redhouse i'm disturbed by my reaction to that one 😯

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Name: Mark
CMR: 34/100
Likes: his friends to call him 'lucy'
dislikes: being born a man, NHS reforms, gun control

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Name : Test Subject g4-delta (known round the lab as Stan)
CMR : 31
Likes : enthusiastic frontal cat attacks
Dislikes : sneaky cat attacks from the rear.

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Name: Hamish
CMR: 80/100
Likes: The group thing, martinis with friends, viagra
Dislikes: Waxing, Norwich City FC

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Name : David Hameron
CMR : 0.7/100 (if you're a dirty leftie); 100/100 (if you're true blue)
Likes : Getting Cleggy wid it; neat hair; Thatcher pron
Dislikes : Binners and other STW Commies 😉

* waves at Phil *

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Name: Philip ([b][u]not[/u][/b] Phil)
CMR: 0/100
Likes: Doing deals, fixing LIBORs, his Porsche,
Dislikes: Tighter government regulation, SEC probes, cheap champagne

Willard wins I think.

Finally, I win something. However, it is a hollow victory with only 4 minutes untile THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

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name: brian "fingers" mcgee
CMR: 100/100
Likes: Surviving the end of the world, Ebay.
dislikes: The wasted hours doomsday prepping.

Willard and redhouse's latest efforts shook me, I confess.

Then I remembered that I still have this banker in my Comedy Mammals Top Trumps pack:

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Name: Lula De Roast
CMR: 100/100
Likes: honey glaze, noisy morning cock, that featherless look
dislikes: Getting a hard herby stuffing from Anthony Worrall Thompson

camo that's my mums facebook profile pic at the moment.... is there something you 2 are hiding from me?

Phil, yes, it's sausage.

I fear that last picture was too much. My winner's crown has passed on.

Your mum's Lula?

Now I just feel dirty.

😯

Camo, that's what she said.

You were there too, willard? 😉

With friends... We were like

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Name : By Day - Joe Average, By Night - The Squirrel of Steel
CMR :50
Likes : 5 a day, The strong arm of the Law, the power of disguise offered by a pair of NHS glasses.
Dislikes : bald villains, Kryptonite contaminated hazelnuts and BatSquirrel - that guy's a douche.

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Name: Batsquirrel
CMR: 50.1
Likes: Brooding, being a nut billionaire
Dislikes: The squirrel of steel - the guys right up his own arse

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Name: Herman clagnut
CMR: 100/100
Likes: bbw's. lesbian ham, latex golf shoes. japan
Dislikes. This damn itchy squirrel suit!

Damn unkle! what happens now!

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NAME: Frank The Beak
CMR: 87/100
Likes: being told he's pretty
Dislikes: being compared to Alf from Home & Away

Damn unkle! what happens now!

Let's consult the Comedy Mammals Top Trumps rulebook....

* scans imaginary pages and feels important *

Tie Break

Unklehomered and redhouse play again. Highest CMR score wins.

My squirrel sues your squirrel for 100,000,000 nuts over copyright infringment and identity theft. Then he beats the crap out of him, cos he's ****ing SuperSquirrel [bi-atch].

*too much?

Frank The Beak

Phil yellow carded there for including a non-mammal.

Rescinded due to 'being compared to Alf from Home & Away' comment. 😆

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Name : Brian the Hippo
CMR : 0 - I'm just doing ma thing.
Likes : Being inside a kangeroo, the musty aromas of a well groomed pouch
Dislikes: Haters. being judged. Other Hippos.

ha ha, herman hasnt got a nut to piss in!

Tie break....time to dig deep

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Name: Gotcha!
ComedyBirdRating: 8/10
Likes: Dubya's balls
Dislikes: Clinton's balls (unlike Monica Lewinsky)

Someone please photoshop a piano infront of Stevie Bunder.

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Name: Tard the grumpy cat
CMR 98/100
Likes: Nothing
Dislikes: Everything about you.

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Name: Jack le sack Willard
CMR: surely 100/100
Likes: The films of cruise. Danger, lady gagas meat suit
Dislikes: Squirrel turds. midget porn. groundhog day

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Name : Ronald Braygan
CMR : 43/100
Likes : Swinging saloon doors, hard goat liquor, weeing in Randolph Scott's boots
Dislikes: The word 'sheesh' and the phrases 'via con dios' and 'mi casa zu casa'

yellow card brooess, yet another bird

Someone please photoshop a piano infront of Stevie Bunder.

Someone cleverer than me with photos - please complete Stevie !!!

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Name: OOZI 9 Carroteater
CMR: CLASSIFIED
likes: Fu**in SH*T UP!
Dislikes: THE TALIBAN. THE POSITION OF HIS TRIGGER!

Damn, redhouse, that's a strong play.

* dons Thinking Cat and considers appropriate fight-back strategy *

I AM VERY PROUD OF THAT ONE. I HAD TO SERIOUSLY STEP UP

Australia this morning

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Hey, the game's not over yet. 😉

* Doffs cap to OOZI 9 Carroteater *

Thinking of firing up photoshop, but I have a genuinley horrific amount of hoovering to do in a short space of time.

Molgrips, can't you just go guy hoovering - a swish here, a swish there, done, boy the missis is gonna be proud of me - and get to the serious business of the day?

If not for us, then for little Stevie...

...don't make me write a charity single...

in the name of stevie! put down the hoover!

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Name: Daisy Mooyan
CMR: 2/100
Likes: Clozapine, Arthur C Clarke, tin foil hats
Dislikes: That huge fireball in the sky, HEEEELLLPPPP

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Name: Don Wong IV aka 'The Scourge of the Dusk Vole Ninjas'
CMR: 43/100
Likes: Cherry Blossom, Multi-purpose hats and pwning thieves with bombers works like a charm
Dislikes: over-sweet Saki, voles wearing handlebar moustaches

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Name: Tony bananahammock
CMR: 33.333r
Likes: toe of camel, Fargo, mr muscle
Dislikes: sand, sandwiches,egg timers,sandles,jimmy choo

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Name : Steve
CMR : 22
Likes : spending all day on STW, discussing tyres, trolling noobs, looking at bike porn, Python, Unix, Iphone, Ipad, I-whatever-comes next, buying new things for my bike, selling the last new things I bought and then comlaining about the guy who bought them, saying how I have 38 bikes but need another one, looking at my 2 actual bikes, imagining riding my bikes, colour coordinating my bikes, wood bruning stoves, £400 coffee machines, saying the thing you like about bikes is poor, finding someone who posted a thing that has already been posted - burn ****er burn!
Dislikes : Mud, the wet, the heat, outdoors, trail centres, riding my bike.

😉 [obligatory I'm just kidding you, love you all really smiley, don't burn me... 😀 ]