How long to wait (n...
 

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[Closed] How long to wait (novice attempted dating content)?

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Right, I'm new to all of this dating / meeting new people malarkey, having fairly recently come out of a 9 year relationship.

Here's the story:
Went for a works night out on Thursday. Got chatting to one of the girls behind the bar.
She was about to finish work for the night, so I asked if she'd like to hang around and have a drink with me.
She hung around. We had a couple of drinks and a chat; and I ended up leaving with her phone number.
I texted her the following morning, saying "great to meet you, I'd like to see you again, give me a call".
So that was Friday, now it's Monday and no response.

How long do I wait? And once I've waited, what do I do? Is there any follow up, or do I write it off as a lost cause?


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:35 pm
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lost cause already I reckon


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:37 pm
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Text her again, nothing to lose as I see it. If she's blowing you off (so to speak) now, then she still will be.

A girl did similar to me several years ago. I texted her again and said, just checking you had my number. She said thanks, yes she did have it... 😥


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:38 pm
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lost cause already I reckon

Yep, afraid so.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:38 pm
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Text her again, nothing to lose as I see it. If she's blowing you off (so to speak) now, then she still will be.

No harm in looking even more desperate!


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:39 pm
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Here's an idea, why not call her? You know, speak to her on the telephone.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:40 pm
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No harm in looking even more desperate

One man's desperate is another man's keener... 😀


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:41 pm
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Wait. Otherwise you seem too desparate. In a couple of weeks pop back to the bar, say hi whilst ordering a drink, watch for the recognition but walk off with the booze. If she wants to she'll initiate the next move. *

* disclaimer - been out of circulation since 1998.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:41 pm
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Yup, CFH has it right.

Nothing like hearing you've got no chance from the lady herself. 😉


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:41 pm
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Go back to her pub while you're on the way to something else, say hi and then **** off without looking back. You'll find out if she gives a shit

(did you tell her you'd just finished a 9 year stint ?)


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:41 pm
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It's only definitely a lost cause if you give up, nought to lose by trying again, worst case she still ignores you. I'd wait a couple of days then send another text.

NB After such a long time in a relationship you should treat the first few dates as just practice, as you'll probably need it....


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:41 pm
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CaptainFlashheart - Member
Here's an idea, why not call her? You know, speak to her on the telephone.

Its the 21st century... One doesn't phone people... 😉


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:43 pm
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Ah, I see. My mistake. Txt hr, thn, "UR DUMPD! Looooolllz"

Dump her before she can dump you.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:45 pm
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Rules of dating for men:

1 - Be attractive
2 - Don't be unattractive

Sounds superficial at first, but when you think about how "attractive" can be construed then it makes perfect sense.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:45 pm
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you've already sent the compulsory naked photo, yes?


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:45 pm
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Here's an idea, why not call her? You know, speak to her on the telephone.

Was going to say exactly the same thing.

Texting is fine, no problem with it at all, but people seem to have forgotten that the "text machine" can also be used a telephone when the need arises.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:45 pm
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She is out with me tonight


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:51 pm
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Give it one more try and if it's a no-reply, then post her number here. 🙂


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:52 pm
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Of course, it is kinda cute that he think's that he got her real number


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:55 pm
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Hold on, my phones ringing "hello...."


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:56 pm
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This is why I HATE text in these situations and desperately try avoid it the early stages of seeing someone until you know each other a little bit and the anxiety fades. With no immediate feedback its just something to worry about, always better to ring.

Unk (single forever so you may not want to listen)


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 8:58 pm
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My own approach to this in my pre-married days would have been just to go into the bar and stare crazily / desperately while attempting to make rubbish jokes and possibly dribbling a bit.

Can't promise it'll work (it never did for me) but I have no other suggestions when it comes to "dating".


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 9:00 pm
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you've already sent the compulsory naked photo, yes?

That's the second photo, first one is just a genitals shot. Third is erect.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 9:02 pm
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Wait. Otherwise you seem too desparate. In a couple of weeks pop back to the bar, say hi whilst ordering a drink, watch for the recognition but walk off with the booze. If she wants to she'll initiate the next move.

Yeah, this is what I would say, act completely nonchalant if you see her again and see what she comes back with. Sounds daft but the old saying, "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" actually makes sense. But I don't mean go to the bar and trip her up if she's carrying a tray of drinks... :mrgreen:

Ah, I see. My mistake. Txt hr, thn, "UR DUMPD! Looooolllz"

Flashheart, this got me laughing!


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 9:02 pm
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Your first text was too soon.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 9:04 pm
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It's a probability game ... the more you try with chicks the higher the chances you will meet someone with the same wavelength ... :mrgreen:


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 9:30 pm
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CFH is correct, You never know till you find out. When you do either way, dont hang about. carpe diem and all that.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:06 pm
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Are you 100% sure she was behind the bar? & not propping up the bar looking for late night tricks?

Easy mistake to make apparently 😉


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:18 pm
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Your first text was too soon.

This.

Sorry.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:20 pm
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cbike - Member
CFH is correct, You never know till you find out. When you do either way, dont hang about. carpe diem and all that.

Good advice, so with that in mind, any female stw'ers fancy a shag? I'm getting a bit desperate and the wife's not in the mood lately. 😉


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:23 pm
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It's a numbers game remember.

You've severly limited your options by asking for female stw'ers.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:28 pm
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really admire your honesty m8. and why ask on here if not anywhere I suppose?! Expect pisstaking. I have no constructive advice to give apart from follow your instincts..and to otherwise assume this is a category A troll.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:35 pm
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Onzadog - Member
It's a numbers game remember.
You've severly limited your options by asking for female stw'ers.

I assumed they'd be more cuddly.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:37 pm
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Thanks for all of your replies.

Think I'll give it a few days and then turn up in the bar drunk and naked with her name shaved into my chest hair.
If that doesn't work, I don't know what will... 😯


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:38 pm
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Take it from me, DONT do that without setting fire to your pubes first otherwise she'll laugh you out of the building.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:42 pm
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what is her name? and how wide and dense is your chest hair? Is it very dark hair? we need more information. I could provide an EPS. vector format graphic if you want to do a tatoo of her name or something.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:43 pm
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Think of somewhere you can take her (gig, comedy show etc) but keep it quite last minute.. phone her and ask her straight up but enthusiastically to come with you. It will be very hard to say no unless she really doesnt want to. If she says no and gives a reason just tell her outright that you like her and would love to take her out sometime and to call you when shes free otherwise you'll start stalking her her.
Dont be afraid.. she can only say no.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 10:44 pm
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If she was interested, she'd have replied (even just to be polite). Don't mistake being personable/social with being keen on you.

Remember, what you do with this lady may not stay with this lady, maybe she knows your next prospective date.

There are millions of ladies out there, move on.


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 11:36 pm
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I could lend you an epilator if you want to make the name last longer on your chest - you would be in a whole world of pain though - which may show her how keen (desperate) you are

Or at the very least the pain would distract you whilst you get over the fact she's not interested

Jeez just read that back and it sounded harsh - was trying to be funny 🙂


 
Posted : 18/03/2013 11:46 pm