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Just overheard a phone conversation...she stumbles and trips over her words a lot when put on the spot. Not sure how to tell her or if I should and how to go about making her think ahead 2 or three sentences down the road.
End's up making grammatical mistakes etc because she's thinking about each word as she goes along, the inflection in her voice isn't right either... kind of sounds like Christopher Walken.
Prepare before she picks up the phone?
my other half does this too, it's just how she is, i think it's a confidence thing.
I tried to "help", but honestly it didn't do much other than make her more aware that she does it.
I'd be very careful in how you discuss it with her.
We tend to sit down and prepare things now, have a dummy run, so that she has what she wants to say clearly in her head. I think that helps from a confidence point of view, even if the conversation is no more fluid.
Prepare before she picks up the phone?
She did waiii waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii more prep than I can ever be arsed to do for an interview.
I'm the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm good at pretending I know something. She know's her stuff but her confidence often makes it seem like she doesn't.
We tend to sit down and prepare things now, have a dummy run, so that she has what she wants to say clearly in her head. I think that helps from a confidence point of view, even if the conversation is no more fluid.
Yeah, maybe she just needs lots of practice....but I get the feeling that if I apply pressure on her to simulate a tough interview she'll clam up more.
I was told you should stand up whilst talking on the phone as it makes you more assertive allegedly. Could be a load of old tosh though.
E mail me about this and I can send some info
For starters, don't mention it.
Just help her prepare before the call/interview. Try to think of questions that they might ask her.
short answer is you can't
any other random bloke could tell her something and it'll be accepted as gospel, but she won't listen to you. you can tell there the same thing for years and year and she won't listen, but once someone else says it, she'll be straight on it, then having a go at you for not teaching her properly before now
at least that's the way it is for me
I was told you should stand up whilst talking on the phone as it makes you more assertive allegedly. Could be a load of old tosh though.
Just stood her up mid interview and left the room again. There's been a moderate improvement.
Good call mate.
E mail me about this and I can send some info
Thanks Junky, will do.
This sounds silly, but
1. Try a decent speaker phone
2. Put sketch in front of the speaker phone, like this:
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I was told you should stand up whilst talking on the phone as it makes you more assertive allegedly. Could be a load of old tosh though.
I don't know about the assertive thing, but I always converse more freely on the phone if I stand up and can walk around a bit ...
She should record each interview, play it back and review where she thinks she needs to address any problems.
RM.
some people can articulate themselves better than others, regardless of confidence or knowledge of a subject.
It's thinking two or three sentences ahead that's my downfall, I forget to properly finish the sentence I'm on so I'm actually saying garbage but in my head it's fine as I'm already thinking ahead so my brain just assumed my mouth said it - or something like that :p
I can't think beyond the sentence I'm saying.
practice.
I'd use all the charm and tact you display here. What could go wrong.
Same here nbt.
Frustrating, but I've grown used to it now.
Tell them what you're going to say (three things max).
Say it
Tell them you've said it.
The first one gives you structure and makes the listener expect what you're going to say, which defuses rambling.
The second one is based on what you've said you were going to say, so you've already set the expectation.
The third confirms that you stuck to the structure you agreed.
Each of the three things you talked about should be linked together (chronological sequence is good) so you can be sure that the listener can tell where one stops and the next begins.
Be very careful how you phrase this to your girlfriend - it's a very fine line between 'helpful' and 'picking holes' when advising your other half is concerned!
Tell them what you're going to say (three things max).
Say it
Tell them you've said it.
hmmm. I might try this.
Be very careful how you phrase this to your girlfriend - it's a very fine line between 'helpful' and 'picking holes'
whilst "people" can be very quick to ask for advice, sometimes those same "people" don't like to be given it if they haven't asked for it.
you need to engineer the situation such that she asks for your help.
Like this?