[Closed] homophobia alive and well on the streets

Guys, please don't turn this into a massive argument.

You must be new here?

If you have any questions then please ask.

Oh and a little tip as a newcomer, when TJ wades into your thread, just go make a cup of tea and have a biscuit, may I recommend choc hobnobs, and go put your feet up with a good book. As your thread is now dead. It may seem alive, but it's been fatally wounded and doomed to repeat itself ad infinitum.

...other than that, please enjoy your stay and feel free to ask what tyres for social wrongs.

Edit to add: Would imforming you of the ethno type to be wary of in Barcelona be racist of me? It's the same as in most French cities

And now you try to get away by being xenophobic, brilliant. Saddly for you I am french and therefore I could read the whole article. So first, posting an article from and conservative right-wing news-paper on a thread centred of tolerance isn't your brightest move. Second, if you do a bit of research you'll find most of the figured quote on this article are wrong, specially the 'rom' bits.

Oh and a little tip as a newcomer, when TJ wades into your thread, just go make a cup of tea and have a biscuit, may I recommend choc hobnobs, and go put your feet up with a good book. As your thread is now dead. It may seem alive, but it's been fatally wounded.

Coffee/keyboard interface! 😆

But TJ is ALWAYS right......

Emsz... i'm really sorry to hear about your experience, and i imagine it must have been pretty traumatic! yes lots of people have said you should've gone to the police straight away, but when you've just been abused and spat on its not the first thing on your mind, getting to what feels like a safe place with your loved one is.

Cowley Road really isn't the best place in Oxford to find yourself if you want to be in the company of enlightened modern individuals... trust me when i say there are several homes for the long term mentally ill, there are homes for paedophiles and forensic (think broadmoor) patients living in the community along that road and in that area. I hope for the sake of the events reflection on modern society it was an unwell person who did this to you and Sara 🙁

I hope you are both doing ok x

If youre brought up in a cosy little Cotswold town I can understand the liberal rose-tinted views of how life [i]should[/i] be, but for right or wrong, a huge part of the UK population (maybe the majority) live in a rough area, where homophobia, religous hatred and racism are as acceptable as fish and chips. You may not underatnd this or agree with it, but it is a fact of life.

sorry if I offended you 'edukator' but I I find your zenophobia ridiculous..

Bloody awful thing to happen but I'm really not sure which Cowley Road some people on here are talking about.

Only just saw this.

Disgraceful that (thankfully a minority of) people are like this, but then there are still people who think that non-white people are somehow inferior, that homosexuality is an illness, and that Hitler was basically right about those horrid Jews. There will always be bigotry, but hopefully it gets further and further away from acceptability.

Sorry you had to put up with this, and yes, I'd certainly go to the police, despite the fact there's very little they'll be able to do. It's important that they have data to be able to deal with this in the future.

The good news....my 11 year old son asked me at the weekend why there was such a big fuss about being gay. He just didn't get why/how there could possibly be a problem. This wasn't relating to him (he's a bit young to know whether he prefers girls, boys or XBox - probably the latter), but he was reading in the papers about the situation in Zimbabwe. If we have new generations of people who not only don't have a problem with gay relationships but honestly can't see why anyone would, there's a bit more hope.

It takes generations though......not good for people now.

sorry if I offended you 'edukator' but I I find your zenophobia ridiculous..

On the flipside we could all trip over ourselves to excessively hand-wring. Whats worse?

I voted for Bayrou first round and Sarkozy second round last time, Juan. This time it'll no doubt be Bayrou first round and the least dangerous in the second round.

I linked an article in Match, xenophobic or simply realistic about the origin of pick pockets in France? Is your attitude to me xenophobic? Being happy to think I'm not French when I am would suggest so.

trust me when i say there are several homes for the long term mentally ill...

Careful, it sounds like you're being mentalist. Those people are what makes Cowley Road great... the guy that used to walk around in full legionare get up with a massive staff... the black rab-c-nesbit (he may not be Scottish but he wears a string vest and is incoherant)... the crazy camp guy that used to come and talk to me whilst I was getting my hair cut...

All takes me back to the early 90's and watching tramps fighting over bottles of white lightening and terps whilst we skated on the ramps.

Happy days.

Oh and a little tip as a newcomer, when TJ wades into your thread, just go make a cup of tea and have a biscuit, may I recommend choc hobnobs, and go put your feet up with a good book. As your thread is now dead. It may seem alive, but it's been fatally wounded and doomed to repeat itself ad infinitum.

Would that be classed as a silent flounce?

I'd rather a bit of hand-wringing than a bit of apathy.

Well if one good thing came from this thread it was to remind me to get myself down to the French embassy here and make sure I'm on the electoral roll.

If we have new generations of people who not only don't have a problem with gay relationships but honestly can't see why anyone would, there's a bit more hope.

Here's hoping. My great fear is that it is down to upbringing rather than a generational thing. There's still a lot of outdated, irrelevant and unreasonable attitudes being handed down.

<Hypothetical situation> I was burgled the other day. In retrospect it was naive of me to leave the back door unlocked. I will fight for the day we can all leave our door's unlocked, but until then...<hypothetical situtation/>

I [i]think[/i] that is along the lines of Edukator's argument

On the flipside we could all trip over ourselves to excessively hand-wring. Whats worse?

Your nonsensical contributions?

The deadline was the end of December, Atlaz, unless have longer to reigster when living aborad.

Guys, please don't turn this into a massive argument.

LOL

Edukator speaks no sense at all. Its the classic blame the victim stance he espouses and it stinks

TJ - I think its quite a common position for "closet homophobes" to take - "Its OK to be gay, so long as you don't flaunt it in front of me, I'll tolerate you".

Now that is the kind of faulty logic you need to be railing against - there is no evidence he is a homophobe
His argument seems to be hey there are homophobes out there be careful and adapt your behaviour – gay club – do as you please Witherspoons be a bit more discrete - hardly makes him homophobic.

Your attitude stinks. You are blaming hem for the prejudice they encountered.

If I advise an Asian person to not attend the EDL meeting and chant from the Koran am I a closet racist and blaiming them for the prejudices ?

So it would be wise for the asian above to do this and the consequences unforeseen [ this is nothing like the incident for emsz and Sara but you get the point].
No one is blaming the victim and that is spurious to say the least.

but I know what Edukator is trying to say, it's a fact of life that we have to be careful sometimes, we just forgot for a minute

THIS obviously, its wrong , it shit , it should not have to happen but it is reality so to be safe you need to make appropriate choices whether gay or straight. It is not blaming the victim it is trying to be a victim.

To say that emsz should have to modify her behaviour to avoid the bigots is blaming her for the bigots actions.

FFS we are not super heros we don’t wander through life tackling every injustice we see and challenging all those we perceive to be wrong as many of those are thugs who would think nothing of hospitalising you. That is the reality you need to deal with
I have been with gay friends and been abused by a gang of 30 blokes - what did we do head down walked on.
Was this right or fair of course not but to suggest it is not there and you should not be careful [ and if you do you are condoning the behaviour of ****ers or blaiming the victim] is just stupid, illogical and ridiculous.

^^^

😉

Being happy to think I'm not French when I am would suggest so.

Nope I was just being happy that you won't be voting marine. However as you're french I have no doubt you won't be voting for respect and tolerance.

The deadline was the end of December, Atlaz, unless have longer to reigster when living aborad.

Double abroad. I've moved from the UK to Luxembourg so I need to register anyway.

Junkyard +1.

TJ, is the air so thin up there that it's affecting your cognitive skills?
[img] [/img]
(Or, at the very least, wear a helmet. You know it makes sense.)

Bayrou alors, il incarne quoi d'après toi, Juan, (on se tutoie ?) si ce n'est pas le repsect et la tolérance ? J'ai discuté longuement avec lui, principalement sur les thèmes de l'éducation et le développement durable; je l'apprécie, il ne me prend pas pour un gogo.

Je pars en Allemangne avec un car d'enfants demain, tu me fais confiance ? Ou tu comptes alerter les authorités ?

alerter les authorités, Juan!!!!!

on se tutoie ?

on se tutoie ?

Nope

touchy 😉

Junkyard - sorry I disagree with you very strongly.

Edukator puts the onus on emsz to alter her behaviour to avoid these incidents. Thats making it her responsibility that the incident happened IE blaming the victim. It makes it her fault it happened.

Its not like your parallel with the Asian and the EDL at all this is to people holding hands in public. Its not provocative behaviour its normal behaviour. By putting the onus on emsz to modify her behaviour to avoid this type of incident its making normal behaviour appear abnormal.

Maybe, Mr Juan, but Bayrou is in favour of giving gays the same rights as anyone else including the right to adopt.

WOAH THERE (thats old fashioned speak for stop a horse) WOAH WOAH!

holding hands before marriage?!

[img] [/img]

on se tutoie ?

Nope

touchy

Not touching but I wouldn't want a complete stranger to do it in the street, why would it be different on here 😉

And get your fact at least edukator, Bayrou is still against gay marriage.

Enchanté

Eh! excuse you lot!

This thread is about shitty stuff happening to emsz and homophobia, it's not a hand bag swinging strop out for the old ladies in you!

Its not like your parallel with the Asian and the EDL at all this is to people holding hands in public. Its not provocative behaviour its normal behaviour.

Like Bayrou I think lesbian couples having the right to adopt children is more important than being able to get married when a pacs gives gay couples a suitable legal framework.

the behaviour in question provoked a reaction from the Neanderthals.

I'm guessing of course but,

Given the intellectual proletariat we're dealing with here, I suspect Emsz and her partner would probably have provoked a reaction from them regardless, just perhaps a slightly different one.

OK I know I said I'd given up, but...I've taken what Edukator says as:

"Sometimes, such as when in fear of your safety or you just don't want the hassle, you can avoid that by not having any public displays of affection".

Seems a reasonable choice to me - of course any right thinking person wants all of this to be a non issue, but it's not for us to tell the OP that she has to fight that battle.

And as for his joke, of course it could be taken as offensive, it could also be taken as funny, I took a bit of both (I didn't see how there could be any malice behind it, it was a joke about straight men, fantasies and lesbians) but it just a bit wearing when all the PC types jump on the thread to tell him off - the OP can do so herself, but no, you have to tell edukator off and tell her to right the battle against homophobia.

Must be great getting to tell folk what to do all the time,I wish I was that wise.

"Sometimes, such as when in fear of your safety or you just don't want the hassle, you can avoid that...

Indeed. But whether holding hands should be considered risky is really the point this thread is now attempting to establish, isn't it? Personlly I believe not but it would seem from the viewpoint of Emsz it was quite frightening, in which case Eddy's viewpoint stands-up in order to protect herself and her partner. He's simply suggesting a pragmatic stance in these kind of matters as opposed to the knee-jerk 'it's my right' reaction when it's not always safe do to so.

COMMON SENSE AT LAST.

Thanks you.

Dare I point out that emsz referred to her aggressors as "tossers" in her opening post which made me smile and prompted my quip. Another poster later referred to them as a "bunch of wee chuggers" which again made me smile though I don't know the dictionary difinition of the expression. Smile in the face of adversity. Make light of things, indulge in a bit of black humour and life's injustices are easier to deal with IME.

cynic-al - Member

OK I know I said I'd given up, but...I've taken what Edukator says as:

"Sometimes, such as when in fear of your safety or you just don't want the hassle, you can avoid that by not having any public displays of affection".

But we're not talking about "sometimes" are we? We're talking about [i]always[/i]- because you can never predict when some random person in the street will turn out to be a nutter.

It's not like they walked hand-in-hand past a frothing anti-gay preacher or a skinhead rally or something, where there's a real indication of risk.

aaaaaaaahhh.. REAL common sense at last

I cannot believe that someone has suggested that Emz and her other half alter their behavior when all they were doing is holding hands ffs, this makes my blood boil, same as the idiots who have a go at women for breast feeding in public utter twunts. And breath!