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Is a fish and chip shop name that I just dreamed up. It’s a magnificent chip shop (at least in my head) - all low-lighting* and stainless curves
* To accentuate the warmly-glowing, lightly-battered giant fish basking in the hot-ariums or whatever the hell they are called. What a plaice.
I have a similarly imagined bakery next door named ‘Bread Zeppelin’
It stocks such freshly handcrafted treats as ‘Blazed and Suffused’ (garlic tear n’ share), or the ‘Whole Lotta Loaf’ (thick wholemeal), and the ‘When the Leaven Breaks’ (hippiefied hunk of honey and oat bread)
What’s your favourite or crappiest local Jason Doner-Van-type puntastic retail nomenclature/shop name?
Extra points for real ones that actually exist, I spose 👍🏼
my personal favourite. Now closed alas.
There's an ice cream parlour in Coatdyke called "Coney no dae that"*
* It's a Chewin' the Fat** catchphrase
** A popular Scottish TV show of yesteryear.
For smashing together words:
McChina Wok Away
Classy spot in Stalyvegas
Cod Almighty - Brizzle
Oh, and sorry, Malvern Rider...but...
We have "The Cods Scallops" near us.
Sounds better than it looks, I've just realised
I was in a petrol station in Epsom when a tatty large van pulled in and three of the rattiest looking scrotes you have ever seen got out.
On the side of the van in large letters it read "Humpitt's Removals" with the slightly smaller font tagline beneath "we hump anything".
I thought, please deity of your choice, don't ever let me get to the point where I have to hire them for a move.
Oh, and sorry, Malvern Rider…but…
I don’t know if it’s still there... Hound of the Basket Meals near hound tor. Always made me laugh!
^ Brilliant 🤣 Still there according to Tripcomplainer. Apparently they also serve drinks in ‘reusable china mugs’. (Thinks) I have an appt in Dartmoor soon!
Windy Harbour Fish & Chip Shop
133 Wilbraham Rd
There used to be Aire Guitars in West Yorkshire (if you know, you'll get it).
One in Nottingham,
"Lousie's Stylish Grooming Hole"
A dog groomers, honest. Now closed and reopened as
"Hair of the Dog"
Which is a far better name!
In Kirriemuir ...
Bloody lovely pies as well.
Sushi Me Rollin’
Sushi restaurant in Newcastle.
Killin, Scotland has a local craft shop 'Killin Time'.
Mrs_oab always wanted to open up a nursery in the village, for kids. The only sensible title would be Killin Kids.
Grays Inn Saddles
Horse / Tack shop in London. Slightly Western themed, obvs. Address self evident.
Guitar shop in Ayr is Ayr Guitars, local fish and chip shop was Fryer Tuck.
Both genius.
Knockin in Shropshire has a Knockin Shop
Knockin in Shropshire has a Knockin Shop
Sadly not any longer - it closed in 2018.
When it was open:- https://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/2057685
This amuses me every time I see it:
Real:
Curl up and Dye - hairdressers in Brum
WC In Fields - portable toilets in galloway
In fiction
Graham Duff’s sitcom ‘Ideal’ never goes outside but there are a whole host of great business names mentioned including ‘Panini-meani-miney-moe’
and ‘Cod amongst men’
me - I’d go into competition against portaloo as ‘Chemi Khazi’
When a friend of mine lost her Post Office franchise to the mini mart across the road she rebranded her shop “P ST OFF”
Piecaramba in Southampton.
Excellent pies with proper pie liquor and builder tea.
Local mobile chip van is called
'Star chip enterprise '
Working in Wakefield, I heard the chimes outside of what sounded like an ice-cream van only playing the Batman theme tune. Turned out to be The Bap Van.
I've seen a couple of "Curl Up and Dyes" Barrow in Furness and Chatteris for another, which I think speaks volumes for the kind of towns where they flourish
We used to have "Two Fellas Tree Fellers" round here 👍
Have a plumber's van in Derby with Dwayne Pipe on the side.
There is an off licence in Boston called 'Jobi Liquors'
Dust to Dust
Janatorial Services to the the Undertaking Trade
Ashes to Ashes
Chimney Sweeps to the Crematorium Trade
I'll planning to open a shop selling classic Irish sweets such as Ritchies Milky Mints and Wilton Klipso bars, and Scottish delicacies such as Cremola Foam and battered Tunnocks Teacakes and calling it
Picts and Micks
RUMBLRSFISH Bar in Framlingham. A favourite of the Ginger One apparently.
Ginger One?
That's just up the road from where I grew up but the reference is lost on me unless Sarah from A level maths is now famous?
NWA are apparently opening up a clothing shop in Los Angeles specialising in leg wear for men and women.
The name? Why yes, it's 'Britches and Hosiery'