Anyone else find themselves swallowing saliva and taking a deep breath before they read that last update?
*sigh* Damn. I wish there was more I could do in situations like these. Maybe STWers could organise a yearly ride somewhere central that would raise funds for charity.
All the best Chris. I'm going through a pretty shitty time myself at the moment but you and a person at work make me realise that I haven't got it that bad. Stay strong buddy.
EDIT: I also echo scaredypants post about anything we as a collective can do. In the fire service when one of our guys got hit with the bad news we done a whip round (bit more than a whip round) and got some £4K to pay for him and his wife to have a holiday of a lifetime which they'd always wanted. Felt great to be a part of that.
Just ask!
bradley - Member
Anyone else find themselves swallowing saliva and taking a deep breath before they read that last update?
Yep, and some deep breaths and whatnot afterwards too.
This is the first time I've seen this thread and it hits a chord with me having lost my father some years ago to the big C.
I sincerely hope you manage to keep your standard of life as high as possible for as long as possible (that's what we all want really), if there is anything that can be done to help/take mind off then I'm sure like many others will gladly lend an ear (or eyes to read),
As to a bit of find raising what about a STW pootle where each rider donates a bit. No doubt quote a few would donate a bit of cash in exchange for a ride and possibly some cake 🙂
🙁
Thinking of you and your family mate, and the good rides I've been on with you.
Wishing you all the best Chris. Take care mate.
Chris - you have made the hardest decision of your life. That takes incredible courage.
Everyone who knows you (and some who don't) is thinking of you and as scardypants says above, if there is anything you need or we can do, just ask.
J. xx
Sounds like a sensible decision that was well made.
Had 2 mates go through a similar thing recently. They and their families all felt it was the right decision.
Stuff they found helpful was getting some advance planning done through Macmillan and agreed with GP, Making sure partners e.t.c and you have access to some form of counselling, which they may not want , but having someone they can off load to can help. Going out + doing stuff. Spending time with loved ones. Laughing, lots. Doing some meditation / relaxation. Doing whatever makes you feel good, is good for you.
No-one can predict what will happen or when, so living each day as fully as possible, what ever that means, is the call.
Chris, I don't know you but have followed your thread. Your post is upsetting and inspiring and I wish you and your family as many happy times together as possible.
My wife's uncle went down the treatment route and spent his last months in chemo hell (the treatment got him in the end) so I think you have made the right choice.
good luck mate.
Never met you Chris but I send you all the best wishes. I watched my Dad go through a similar thing and I always said I would make the same decision as you (who knows if I would ever be brave enough to actually do it).
I know you will truly enjoy the time you have with you loved ones and make this time count.
All the best, stay strong.
Matey, your fortitude is inspirational. My thoughts are with you.
That must have been an incredibly tough decision to make.
Hello old friend,
I read your post earlier today, and it has taken me until now to come up with something in response. For those that don't know, Chris was the photographer at my wedding in October 2009; six weeks after I had a tumour cut out of my heart, and four days before we found out that the cancer had metastasised to my bones. Folk might already know that he was the photographer, but what they won't know is that he offered his services free of charge, refusing payment and travelling hundreds of miles to record our special day.
You were remarkable then, and you are remarkable now. Truth be told, your decision reflects everything I've ever felt about you; compassion, kindness and great strength. I feel very proud that you offered a hand of friendship to me, and am sure that I wouldn't be here without you and others like you. So thank you, and if possible I'd like to pop up at some point and buy you the cup of tea I've always promised you...
Best wishes,
Mark
Big decision made but, I've not been this happy for a good while.
You have taken control. I guess for months things have been very much out of your control but now you've regained control, which must be a very positive thing.
None of us know the day or the hour but for you Chris it takes a special kind of courage. Do enjoy the here and now, the moment.
[i]"That nowness becomes so vivid to me now, that in a perverse sort of way, I'm almost serene, I can celebrate life. Below my window, for example, the blossom is out in full. It's a plum tree. It looks like apple blossom, but it's white. And instead of saying, 'Oh, that's nice blossom, looking at it through the window when I'm writing, it is the whitest, frothiest, blossomiest blossom that there ever could be.
Things are both more trivial than they ever were, and the difference between the trivial and the important doesn't seem to matter -- but the nowness of everything is absolutely wondrous.
And if people could see that -- there's no way of telling you, you have to experience it -- the glory of it, if you like, the comfort of it, the reassurance. . . . Not that I'm interested in reassuring people, you know. The fact is that if you see the present tense, boy, do you see it, and boy, can you celebrate it!"[/i]
Dennis Potter
My uncle made the same decision as yourself with his cancer about 3.5 years ago, sadly he passed shortly after the closing ceremony to the Olympics. I had the upmost respect for his decision on the matter as I do you even though I have never met you. Best of luck and enjoy living each day.
Chris, I've never met you, but i didn't feel I could read this thread without posting something. Your decision must have taken some incredible bravery. It certainly puts my day into perspective!
I wish you and your family all the best.
I've been staring at this thread for about 20 minutes now, reading all the comments and thinking about someone I've never met. Tried to find the right words to type but struggling to put into words what I'm sure many of us are thinking. I'll settle for a simple " hang on in there" but I'm sure you'll realise there's a lot behind those four little words.
Anyone else find themselves swallowing saliva and taking a deep breath before they read that last update?
Crying like a baby, my friend.
Chris, I don't know you, never met you, just cannot begin to imagine how you even start to think about making a decision faced with the horrendous choices facing you. The words of a stranger are so hollow, it's so hard to know what to say - I just feel you've been so brave since you made that first post and kept us updated along the way. I wish - heartily wish - I had some words of comfort and solace that could match the enormity of what lies before you, but that's beyond me. All I can do is echo what's gone before, send you my love and best wishes, and sit here and send positive thoughts your way. Nothing is set in stone.
Be strong,
Paul
Really sorry to hear that and thank you for sharing your story. Best wishes to you and your family.
I'm so sorry to hear your news. We went through this with our daughter when her cancer relapsed after seeing her so sick with high dose chemo and then it coming back we were given the option of treatments that would prolong her life. We went for the gentler treatment which didn't work but when told it would give us a few extra weeks we decided to enjoy the time we had left instead rather than add to her distress. We had support from friends and family and made the most of what time she had left. It was heart wrenching but in the end we made the right choice. I just want to send you my love and best wishes and have been following this from the start. You are incredibly brave and hope that there is a miracle out there for you. Xxx
Just reading this and moving on doesn't feel like a good choice.
Thinking what to say is difficult. Walking away from this thread thinking 'thank **** that isn't me' sounds callous but, honestly, I think it's what a lot of us will be going through. Not because we don't care that someone else is going through it but because we don't know how or if we'd cope if it was us.
I hope that the time you have left is of good quality and that now you've made a decision planning 'a good end' is possible.
My thoughts are with you.
In reading this last update I've had to stop and go away for a bit because it's reminded me so much of my Dad's battle last year and the ongoing battle that my uncle is having right now.
For what it's worth, I think that you have made a difficult and very brave decision and I greatly admire you for the bravery that it must have taken. I regret that I can offer nothing more words right now, but do let us know if there is anything that we can do.
James
I can't read this and pass on to some trivial argument thread without saying something, but in truth I'm another one struggling to come up with anything useful to say.
The sun's out where I am, I hope it is where you are. Enjoy the day and hopefully many more like it.
Brave and rational decision, good luck fella x
Very brave and admirable decision. Enjoy every day and best wishes to you and your family.
Remember eating lovely soup and bread at your house after a STW ride a few years ago - so sorry to hear of this but well done on making a tough decision. Hope it works out as well as possible for you.
best wishes Chris
A very humbling read - I wish all the best for you and your family Chris. You're a top fella.
I've previously chosen not to post in here as I'm usually rubbish at this kind of stuff. However, this past weekend saw another 'balloon race' we organise each year, as part of a local fete, in memory of a great friend we lost to cancer a while back. It raises a few quid for her chosen charity and the local causes she supported and helped all her life.
When she was ill it wasn't the first time so she knew what treatment would do to her and made the same choice as you. We were all devastated at the time but, in hindsight, it was as inspirational as it was brave. During her remaining time she shined, brighter than ever, and lived each day making sure those she loved were happy and leaving us all with nothing but fantastic memories.
I don't know you Chris, but have huge respect and admiration for the way in which you are dealing with the situation. The entire Nobby clan wishes you and your family all the very best.
Funnily enough Chris a couple of us were talking about you on sunday's group ride and the idea came up of having a ride in your locale and maybe meeting you at the local pub if and when you ready and able to do it
Mart
I'm in and for any other event linked 🙂
Very best wishes Chris. So sorry to hear that the treatment didn't work. Stay brave.
Chris, I find your approach to what is to many of us an unimaginable situation both moving and inspirational. I can only hope I would be able to summon up that level of strength if I or someone close to me were faced with a similar situation. All I can add is I too wish you all the very best and will be thinking of you and your family.
And Retrogirl, I'm so sorry to hear what you had to go through. Thank you for sharing. I can't begin to imagine how hard it was.
I don't know you; but from this post i have an image of a very courageous, strong minded and humble person.
My thoughts, of love and light, are with you at this time.
+1 to Instant hit's post above, m8 you take care.
MM another instant hit + 1 here.
I wish my Dad had had the wisdom to go for quality. All the best to you and yours.
Chris (not met you, hope you don't mind the informality), I'm, as others have said, lost in admiration and awe at your attitude.
If you fancy a pint, a walk, a chat or a rant at any time, email is in profile.
I'm a lot nicer in real life, honest!
Love to you and yours.
Pete.
Good luck to you mate, I missed this when you first posted so just catching up, but I'd like to wish you all the happiness in the world.
Chris, I truly admire your resolve and bravery.
Best wishes from the north side of the A640.
Very best wishes to you and your family, Chris.
Inspirational
&
Brave
Burn as bright as you can for as long as you can.
All the best.
Mike
Hello - Mrs MarsdenMan here,
We're staying somewhere without wifi at the moment so Chris can't post so I've just popped out to do this update / extract from my FB page. Yup - it's about fundraising and I know lots of people are raising money for lots of good causes so please don't feel you have to ….
It's also about awareness and reminding people that lung cancer doesn't just affect older people / smokers and if people have that stereotype in mind they might miss early signs for either themselves or a loved one. Over the last few weeks I've heard of quite a few people of Chris's ages & younger , with fit healthy life styles who have been diagnosed at a late stage, so anything that can be done to raise awareness and help people get diagnosed at an earlier more treatable stage is a good thing.
[url= https://defeatlungcancer.everydayhero.com/uk/gary ]https://defeatlungcancer.everydayhero.com/uk/gary[/url]
"My brother Gary is doing the Manchester 10k this Sunday (18th May) and asked Chris & I if we wanted to nominate a charity for sponsorship. We've decided to nominate the Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation. This charity is specifically about Lung Cancer and isn't always supported as well as others as there is often a misconception that it is a "self inflicted smokers' disease"
If you have a pair of lungs you could get lung cancer and about 1 in 10 people who get it are non smokers so everyone needs to be aware and mindful of the symptoms.
Lung Cancer does not have very high 5 year survival rates compared to many other cancers and is often detected at a late stage due to some of the symptoms being similar to coughs, colds, chest infection etc.
Chris has only been diagnosed at a late stage - surgery wasn't an option & we've stopped chemotherapy as it wasn't working and making Chris feel worse.
If us raising awareness means even one other person gets diagnosed earlier in time for a successful treatment/surgery then that'll be a job well done
If you can donate something that'll be great - but don't worry if not as there are lots of people out there being sponsored for lots of great causes - just help raise awareness.
Please share as you feel appropriate - Thanks, Sharon & Chris (and Ted the Dog obviously)"
…. still Mrs MarsdenMan typing
Thank you for all your messages / thoughts / support - it really means a lot to Chris (and me !) . Hopefully we'll get another Soup Run organised soon and Chris can start it off on his new wheels …. The Red Rocket (photo to follow when I can work out how…)
S xx
Evening all!
For once it's me, Chris, posting 🙂
It's been a while, for which I apologise. Once again my head wedged where the sun does not always shine..
Then it occurred to me why - my (our) decision was not made by me.... Bottom line is the decision was already made - cancer is spreading anyways. Option one - keep trying to fight it = it still spreads and I'm not living a 'comfortable' life. Indeed, the week before Easter gave us a very graphic indication of just how uncomfortable life could be on the 2nd run of chemo - I ended up in hospital with an infection they advised was caused by the chemo which had all but written off my immune system, to a much worse level than it normally might. All of a sudden I had 'weeks to live' and they were arranging for hospital beds etc to,be sent home Option two - accept it is spreading, stop treatment, live a more comfortable life. You know, dare to leave the vicinity of the bathroom etc.... 😡
Anyways, moving on..
Thanks, again, to you all.
The latest figure for Gary's run is now around £1k -.great on any day, doubly so when the decision to run sponsored only popped up a few days before the event! As Sharon already mentioned, there is the awareness side of things to very much consider - an age old cliche but, if just one person gets a diagnosis that saves their life....
In other news, in improving quality of life I now have a mobility scooter. Pride has been the silly barrier that has prevented me from get in one for a while but I have and it's been the best money spent in,a while. Bonus is it is metallic red so it is, of course, faster than anything else on the pavement! Flip,side is, this tells you that my leg function is not that good. Due to the drugs I am on,, and I less,use, leg and other large muscle groups are atrophying
I now have a mobility scooter
What wheel size?
It's been a while, for which I apologise. Once again my head wedged where the sun does not always shine..
No apology needed, I dare say that it is actually many (most) of us that have had our heads up our backsides.
Thank you for reminding me that the stuff I have been worrying about all day really isn't worth worrying about at all.
I really hope that you and your family get some semblance of comfort.