[Closed] Have we done man having sex with leaves?

Must have had some serious wood

leafs nothing to the imagination.

I heard thats all in his past now that he's turned over a new leaf.

"tried" couldn't get wood I assume?

Does he subscribe to Rustler magazine?

Humus be joking. IGMC.

Btw they put the inverted commas in the wrong place, FIFY:

Michael Golsorkhi was seen thrusting with his trousers around his ankles in full view of families eating at a Beefeater 'pub' in Stockport.

Meats, shoots in leaves?

Arrested by Special Branch?

Was the story on what sap ?
Had he been advised to branch out in his love life?

I've blown a pile of leaves before; guess it's much the same thing

Operation Yewtree involved?

anything for a root

Well if they will have those sexy leaves just laying around...

Bet this will make him poplar with the ladies...

I can see this being an evergreen thread.

He humped, he dumped, he had a great Fall.

I’ve blown a pile of leaves before; guess it’s much the same thing

Wind in the Willows ?

Had he taken cannabis? The article only mentions it like five times so I'm not quite sure.

Really, who writes this shit for the MEN? The last non-story someone posted from there about two slappers having a fight was the same, two sentences repeated over and over into a thousand words, only interspersed with 47 trout pout photos.

Sex on the beech.

Has anyone checked if the leaves are oak-ay?

I feel as though I may have been on the cannabis when trying to unpick this pithy little one-liner from the sentencing magistrate:

Unfortunately for you, it is you who have found yourself in this position.

Really, who writes this shit for the MEN? The last non-story someone posted from there about two slappers having a fight was the same, two sentences repeated over and over into a thousand words, only interspersed with 47 trout pout photos

I've always assumed they just published Binners diary

Really, who writes this shit for the MEN?

Typical muck-raking journalism.

#treetoo

Careful the squirrels dont steal his nuts!!!

As a Salfordian, the MEN has always been part of my life. Mum and dad got it delivered when I was at home and I read it into adulthood once fledged. Over the last fifteen or so years the standard of content and journalism have declined vastly. I don't think proofreading is costed in any more. The grammar, punctuation and syntax are bloody dreadful.

I've seen quite a few conkers on the ground recently.
RM.
Edit:

I don’t think proofreading is costed in any more

Teh ironing.

proofread[ proof-reed ]SHOW IPA
EXAMPLES|WORD ORIGIN
SEE MORE SYNONYMS FOR proofread ON THESAURUS.COM
verb (used with object), proof·read [proof-red] , proof·read·ing [proof-ree-ding] .
to read (printers' proofs, copy, etc.) in order to detect and mark errors to be corrected.
verb (used without object), proof·read [proof-red] , proof·read·ing [proof-ree-ding] .
to read printers' proofs, copy, etc., to detect and mark errors, especially as an employee of a typesetting firm, newspaper office, or publishing house.

Typical leaver.

I imagine he cedar opportunity for some action with hazel but the police willow ways catch yew

Mulch ado about nothing.

I imagine he cedar opportunity for some action with hazel but the police willow ways catch yew

Lots of great responses above but this is the winner so far 😂

He got hooked up through the dating site Timber.

We all know the Sue Lawley story, I take it?

In that song by The Police?

The MEN’s definitely gone down hill but for some reason it’s still poplar.

I’m going out on a limb here.....but I reckon he’s nuts!

Maybe he had a bet with a mate to see who was sicker more.

Shame the police maple him in for it.

Apparently one of his mates phoned him up after hearing about it:
"hey Michael, deciduous behaving indecently - what did yew do?"

Woodpecker?

He should be glad he wasn't under a Monkey Puzzle tree...

vulgaris Minima Phoenicea semperviva?

He’s probably barking mad, but yews will have already twigged on.

In that song by The Police?

"Make me bark".

Urban myth, not at all true.