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Yesterday lunchtime, she's gone gluten free on the advice of her chiropractor.
I guess the patio needed doing anyway.
No, She's dead.
Sisters in Law landed this morning, Son currently doing his Nut as he's stuck in bed with a nasty bit of Flu and can't see them.
I'm in work, I've got the floor to myself. No complaints here.
Not yet,she's still in hospital.
No she’s shopping with the Mrs she’ll be calling around later to head to the Xmas party with us and the sister in law too.
See her most weeks as she lives around the corner.
My parents arrive later today...
...My wife has just finished watching Motherland (BBC iplayer) and is convinced her life matches - down to the husband always away 'team building' and the parents-in-law that do almost nothing except drink tea and say the wrong thing 😆
I've stocked up on Yorkshires finest.
its christmas not halloween...but mine is coming on saturday will annoy everybody and go home again( did have 2 MILs for a while never heard from the 2nd since she got hold of FILs estate!!)
I've already had the pleasure of being told off for offering to help rather than watch my mother in law put a dish straight from the oven on the worktop. Luckily she's gone home now.
I've now got my mum up with us - took 24 hours to get her packed and in the car. She's really not well so this may be the last Xmas for her.
Arriving tomorrow morning. Time for Operation Be In The House As Little As Possible to kick in.
Really hope she's back on the anti-Ds for this coming week.
MIL just arrived for 5 days...happily i have a long list of little DIY jobs to busy myself interspersed with walking the dog regularly
My MIL and FIL are ace. They are here for the new year.
First 2 posts amused me greatly.
MiL is in town, with a new man in tow that she's apparently been seeing for six months...
...only she's not told Mrs PJM yet who only found out when another relative mentioned it on social media.
It's fair to say that there's some tension in the air and that in event of a visit, it will be Mrs PJM who starts digging the new patio before me.
[url= http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/visiting-relatives-call-with-initial-list-of-impossible-demands-20171218141186 ]The Mash nails it![/url]
After much deliberation we informed everyone that we're doing christmas at home, on our own, this year, totally sans family. We seem to have got away with it too!
Can't bloody wait! 😀
She’s still in bed after getting a good seeing to. I wish. Oops.
She does look like mature Jane Fonda though.
Nope bit I got to the in-laws house yesterday. Father-in-law in itu/ hdu since last week so wife been here since then.
Looking forward couple weeks o the farm doing some jobs for them and not being at work. Hopefully get him home in next week then we can do Christmas
Frankenstein - MemberShe’s still in bed after getting a good seeing to. I wish. Oops.
She does look like mature Jane Fonda though.
[freud mode on] Hmmmmmm......[/freud mode off]
It's worse than that, she already lives here.
If those solicitors don't hurry up with our house purchase i will be making Ghengis Khan's rampage across Asia and Europe look like a mild skirmish.
Yep, we have the mind numbing, spirit crushing game shows at full volume. The kids are hiding upstairs.
I have never had a MIL as such so cant add much but this is hilarious
she's gone gluten free on the advice of her chiropractor
😆 😆
Off to the MiL's tomorrow,
It's my turn to ;
Sit on her couch and fart,
switch the TV over to what I want
Leave my plate at the table and go and watch shit on TV and sod you, even though you cooked, you can clear up aswell
Not lift a finger,
Not do a tap even though I'm going to live in her house for 4 days.
Complain that food in the place I live in is better
Do a word search puzzle and generally ignore everybody else
Leave sweet wrappers stuffed in the side of the couch
Leave half finished tins of diet Coke on the floor by the couch,
Get my wife to buy cream cakes but then don't eat them, ever.
Leave snot rag tissues on the bloody table
Sit around all day doing nothing.
Not answer the door if the doorbell rings
Never offer to help ever.
Can't wait. Revenge is a dish vest served old. 😀
We always 'do' Christmas day at the MIL's as we aren't sure if it's her last year - she's still going 10 years later and even FIL passed away 3 years ago.
She's physically disabled so would be on her own - the 4 bed house can't now cope with more than 4 people down stairs - back room is bedroom, lounge full of crap as she can't walk far. We are wheeling her down the road to one of the daughters, but said daughter isn't doing any organising - everyone else is, including my nephew cooking for 12.
Hmmmmm. Just went to fetch my brother who has learning difficulties, great fun, but he waited til we were stuck in traffic on the M42 before announcing he’d left his hearing aid batteries at his flat. Ok, says I, we can go and get some tomorrow. Except his wallet and cash were in the same bag. He’s upset cos he loves going to the pub and buying a round. I’ll see him right with a loan ( he’d hate a handout!)
MIL was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last month. She’s being collected tomorrow. She can be difficult in a frustrating and sometimes screamingly funny way, but boy it accelerates from a bit of mild forgetfulness to full-on helplessness scarily fast. She and I get on very well but Mrs Scape is a tad stressed.
Add to that my lad who blew himself up with a firework last November had eye surgery to graft mucous membrane from his inner lip into his lower lid to repair a symblepheron on Tuesday needed driving to Banbury for an interview, so we spent last night in a Travelodge.
Family? Love em to bits!
Mine's arriving at 11am on Christmas day and leaving again around 8pm. I LOVE not having any spare beds!
Sadly, no. Mine was ace - kind, easy-going and very thoughtful. My wife misses her mum especially at this time of year, so she will have a little tear in her eye at point or another. She never makes a fuss and no one else realises, but I do and I wish my wife still had her here. She would only be 69 and died 10 years ago this year. RIP Jen, you were one in a million.
Just been to see my MIL.
She didn't know we were coming. (Mrs Egf phoned last night to tell her)
Asked us 25 times where we were going for xmas. (Gemmas house, Mrs Egf's daughter)
Asked us 25 times where she was going for xmas. (Davids, Mrs Egf's brother)
We got home & Mrs Egf phoned her brother who'd been to Mums after us, but we hadn't been but she'd been to ours yesterday. Etc Etc Etc.....
My BIL sees her every day & deserves a sainthood.
MrsMC has taken the kids down to her parents today till Christmas Eve - I've had things to finish off here at home. They are in their 80s and getting frailer, wish I was there.
Off to my parents on Christmas Day. MrsMC and my mum do not get on. Always a joy having them together in the same house.
My dad's coming tomorrow, he'll be here until the 28th or so. Then it's the MiL's turn. She'll be here over new year until the 7th. Fortunately I'm back at work from the 2nd 🙂
Christmas at home with just the two of for the first time in years.
Off to the in laws for new year but they are ok so it’s not a chore
I think we may have become the FIL and MIL.....
Alcohol will blur the edges until work returns....
Not seeing In Laws or my parent(s) this year, I am working until 6am Xmas day. So Mrs and Miss are down visiting now.
The in laws are great though, mil is easy going and always looks after us. Fil is unwell but is good fun and a pleasure to be with.
Miss them both tbh.
MIL in the next room watching trash tv while I smurf the tinternet. She earns her keep though and has done the washing up and made numerous cups of tea.
I've been the slightly annoying in law today. Meant to be at my sister's house by 2, actually made it just after 6 due to car issues (mine broke down yesterday, had to pick up a hire car, do the car dependent jobs I was meant to do yesterday and then put a deposit on a new car...).
On the plus side I've been babysitting all evening and am staying in a hotel rather than their house so I should 't be too annoying!
MiL will arrive with BiL at some point early afternoon on Christmas day, they'll eat loads of food and probably stay overnight. FiL died a few years ago, and she's lonely without him, so Mrs Tyred and her brother make sure she's not on her own as much as they can. She knits endlessly, drones on in pitiless detail about what happened in the butchers the other day, her recent toilet activity, the cake table disputes at the running club and all the notable big lorries that have driven her village in the last week or so, but she's lovely and no bother to have around. She's happy with whatever everyone else wants to watch.
Can't handle my own mum on Christmas day - she's ace in all other regards, but just goes a bit mad for Christmas day. Some years ago we all went away for a few days (as opposed to everyone descending on us for the day) so Mrs Tyred and I would have less work and everyone could pitch in. It was way more work. Same stuff, less well-equipped house. My mum and sister sat around half cut most of the time, berating us for not relaxing enough as we fed and generally attended to our small, demanding children. And that's not including the swarm of small flies which invaded the dinner table. "Why aren't you eating that dessert your sister made? SHE MADE IT HERSELF!!!!" The Christmas We Do Not Speak Of. Since then, my family have been restricted to Boxing day. They're fine then.
Swarm of small flies?
We'd been out a walk along the beach, then everyone's shoes/boots were left lying next to an insanely hot heater. Few hours later, loads of wee black flies appeared from that direction, just to add to the carnival mood around the dining table.
nothing like that this year. me, my wife and two boys for christmas day, first time is a few years. 3rd bottle of wine in two days currently. no stress about food, booze entertainment etc etc etc...
My MIL is nice, though she tends to tell the same stories over and over. Had a good giggle today at a friend’s MIL stories- his MIL freezes everything including digestive biscuits.
Arrives 1pm-ish Christmas Day. Leaves 8pm-ish Christmas Day. Says all sorts of offensive/insulting things during that 7 hours. But despite my red wine addled self wanting to bury her under the patio, she doesn't have a bad bone in her body, had a crap time with her husband dying young and is brilliant with my kids, so I get grumpy, but get over it quickly.
Biting my tongue.... Must not post.... Must not post...
Former and now deceased MIL; a truly nasty piece of work - like mother, like daughter; it's true.
Anyway, she won't be disturbing anyone this christmas unless it's possible to teleport from Beelzebub's side.
Sadly, no. Mine was ace - kind, easy-going and very thoughtful. My wife misses her mum especially at this time of year, so she will have a little tear in her eye at point or another. She never makes a fuss and no one else realises, but I do and I wish my wife still had her here. She would only be 69 and died 10 years ago this year. RIP Jen, you were one in a million.
Ditto. Miss Mary loads, will raise a glass of something nice to her, as I always do every Christmas.
Mine is visiting my BiL in Australia, which figures by the amount of pictures of him and his wife out on the piss as they have a willing babysitter on tap. Hopefully, she'll make it back to the UK without mrs dd's half of the inheritance in tatters, but I don't hold out much hope.
I'll pick up my mum in London and bring her back to Brizzle for a few days - she's a few years past 80 now so is getting quite doddery and frail. 🙁 But it'll take years off her to see my little fella for a few days - something which my sister has done her best to engineer not happening very frequently at all.
As for mrs dd and I, we'll head to London to spend it with my bezzie and his family - we'll all be slightly tipsy for 72 hours, have a laugh and little dd will be beside himself to be spending a few days with some older kids. They're more like family to me than my own shower of shite to be honest.
I bloody love these threads though - they help when I feel envy of people having the "big family Crimbo" knowing that some people probably wish they were having mine. And they're hilarious.
Mine arrived late last night with FiL and dog after a 2.5hr drive. So we've had to lock the cats up, clear the house of everything that fits in a dog's mouth, including clearing all the presents from under the tree, and it still find something to get itself in trouble (the dog!)
The weird thing is, we are meant to be arriving at theirs just in time for Christmas dinner, so presumably they are leaving Sunday, and then we will follow in their tracks about 18hrs later?!!
As said earlier in the thread - I don’t have a MiL anymore, but I do have an annoying aunt. So this is what she will do on Christmas Day.
- Bring a tense atmosphere to the house
- Moan that she’s not with her son
- Moan about her bad shoulder/hair/teeth
- Pick her way through a carefully and well prepared lunch, examining each morsel as if it’s potentially lethal
- Air some half-arsed opinion on benefit claimants and immigrants that she has picked up from the Daily Mail. When offered facts to challenge these views, accuses people of not respecting her opinion and shouting her down
This from someone who
- Never offers to help until everything is done
- Expects to be invited because she is my mums sister
- Has never contributed to or hosted any Christmas dinner since 1978 - seriously this is no exaggeration.
- Never offers to bring drinks or dessert or anything at all
- Makes her way through other people’s Christmas treats, whilst leaving her own completely untouched and taking them home unopened
Pisses me right off.
lol. tell her to **** off jamj
Lucky us - I love my in-laws (just as well as they live next door!). Just need to keep off the subject of brexit over the dinner table and all will be well in the house 😀
And so to A&E, 87 year old with suspected fractured femur at hip end.
Sorry to hear that Murray. Fingers crossed for you and your mum.
Been her for just over a day, babysitting tonight so we can go out for a meal, babysitting later on next week so we can go for cheeky road ride. Brought loads of wine and tidy up after themselves, excellent houseguests. Do eat a lot of snacks though.
Just bumping this thread as it's my favourite thing to read at xmas.
Trying hard to explain to MIL that we haven't had the house turned upside down, it's always been this way........ and no, the furniture is just the same as it's always been. Mrs Scape gets fed up trying to correct her, I just roll with it and try to keep track of her rambling. Genuine comedy moment when son was telling her about his new girlfriend whose father owns some vast estate in Wales, then asked me a question about the caravan I stay in when I'm working in North Yorkshire, at which MIL got it into her head that the girlfriend is from the travelling community. That took a bit of disentangling.
When I married Mrs Z her mother had died. No MIL for me. The FIL, now he's another thing. Luckily he lives abroad so our paths never cross. Barely had a civil word from him in nigh on 40 years. He's the same with everyone so I don't feel put out.
We arrived at the MIL house on the 19th, and we leave on the 2nd. My other half is Polish, so its Polands 'turn' this year!
Honestly, its fantastic! However none of my partners family speak any English, and my Polish is OK, but not great!
Therefore they could be slating me left right and centre! I just sit and laugh along most of the time!
Trouble is, I'm not a drinker, and they seem to treat Vodka like water over Christmas!
Foods utterly amazing though!
My parents are here. And so far p20 has been asked to do maths involving prosecco (for a recipe)! 😆
Mine has just arrived. She is a bully and sets my partner on edge constantly telling her she is a bad daughter etc I don't like her and hence every little thing she does annoys me.
Currently eating via massive slurping and eating with mouth open.
Mine arrived yesterday, and apart from reading the Daily Mail they are lovely people. MiL does tidy up to Olympic standard without realising it which can lead to the odd WTF has that .... gone!
This being a non English speaking past of the world I'm of now to the GF's folks place for the afternoon & evening. It'll be boring AF. Me trying to be sociable with people with whom I have nothing in common. I feel like I'm leading a double life when I'm there. Her folks are very conservative. Her sister has the personality of a floor mop and her kids are screechy. The old man is a domineering busy-body.
Still the, the blessing is that it is just the evening. Not going to drink much as I don't want the red wine to loosen my tongue and have me trying into a discussion that I'll later regret.
TTFN...
Guys. Really. Just all move to Australia. Christmas cake on the beach and not an inlaw in sight.
Failing that, just make Christmas your day and extended family duties can resume on Boxing Day or whenever.
Nah... You get sandy cake. Hate sand in my cake.
MiL was the nicest person I ever met but unfortunately she passed away 2 years ago. FiL is a selfish **** who I loath more than anybody in the world. He’s still with us but I don’t have to see him until next Saturday
But it'll take years off her to see my little fella
Takes her back to bath time?
Currently eating via massive slurping and eating with mouth open
Is that you or your MIL? 🙂
MIL and FIL will be at ours from 12noon tomorrow until around 6pm. The FIL is a compulsive liar who has done everything. His lies include coming 3rd in the Tour of Ireland (wife has never known him own a bike), starring in the Lord of the Rings and running the huge company he worked at (he was a cleaner).
The more he drinks the louder he gets and the bigger the lies get.
Glass of sherry and peeling parsnips while listing to kings carols.
Escaped with mild rebuke for dirty hydration pack in laundry sink so far - got off lightly
Wish my old man was still here.
My MiL is a superstar, FiL good value as long as he is given an airing outside once a day. My mum on the other hand, deep breath, nightmare. Her and Mrs NZCol engage in open kitchen warfare. She sulks a lot when my daughter dares speak to anyone else, doesn’t really play with her and mains about everything. I’ve retired to the sofa contemplating a gin after a hard 2 hr zwift session. Brexit and independence came up earlier so I left given we have 3 leave voters moaning about pension drops and costs rising. WTAF.
And breathe
I’ll have a gin.
Just gone. It’s very quiet......
Both my parents are now dead, so I was looking forward to a Christmas with microwaved Iceland curries, then I met someone I’d not seen for twenty-one years, her relationship had broken up, she was living with her mum, which was strained, so she ask if she could stay with me for a while. Two months on she’s living with me, and her mum is staying over Christmas! Faux-MiL owned pubs all her life, and looked after the food side, g/f was born and grew up in pubs, hung out in the kitchens and learned to cook there, both of them are out in the kitchen preparing today’s and tomorrow’s dinners, so I’m looking forward to what might be the best Christmas I’ve had in donks!
Have a great Christmas everyone.
Oh, and I get on great with the faux-MiL as well. 😀
Mine is in Ulster and can no longer travel to us. This is a source of sadness to both of us. Next year if MIL is spared we're going there,hiring a cottage and will host the day. This will give the in-laws a year off and we can have a proper hooli. Logistics could be difficult and I see a long hard drive in my future.
Mine arrived this morning. She looked after the wee one while we took the older one to a show.
She is mental though and drives her daughter up the wall. Butters her toast on the counters then brushes the crumbs onto the floor, puts things away in random places so we can never find them, doesn't listen to anything you say so she'll constantly ask questions that you've literally just answered etc.
3 kids this Christmas!
The most boring day ever. To make it worse I can hear next door, family and friends party of 12 having a great day.
Well here we are at the in-laws at 3:17 awaiting our 2pm Christmas dinner.
Having not eaten since 7:30 the kids are complaining, I'm feeling wasted on 3 beers and it's kicking off in the kitchen.
Butters her toast on the counters then brushes the crumbs onto the floor
Oh dear GOD!
Has the mother-in-law arrived yet?
Today I've cleaned and tidied the garage and swept up the leaves around the house.
I got divorced, so.. at least that's one bonus.
I have cycled, drank beer and changed the wing mirror on my car
I've been out on my bike, fed her wine, waiting for her to sleep or go home.
Going to the pub tonight to get over it.
A couple years ago my girlfriend's mum fell asleep after eating Christmas dinner so we smeared cream all over her glasses, she woke up later on thinking she had gone blind 😆
One yelling session so far. Not too bad. Could have been better but we managed dinner with no more arguments by not talking to each other.
I’m all about the silver linings just now.
They’re here, they’re good people really. Also I have happy kids, and coincidentally a very tidy garage.
And they’re leaving soon!
My mil is fine, think I prefer her to my own mum sometimes as she can be hard work.
FIL is ok , helps with DIY round the house,BUT he does monopolise the TV and ****g hell he has bad taste, carry-on, top gear marathons.
Just had to sit thru the tedium of skyfall for the nth time!
Still been playing with the kids Xmas Lego and drinking port, so it's not all bad!