MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
What a horrible embarrassing thing it is! It makes you feel like a specimen or something, and where do you look and what do you say when someone is arranging your boobs between two bits of cold plastic?
Thankfully it only takes a few minutes, and I got a copy of the film and a cd! My boobs - on a cd, not at all sexy tho, wierd and clinical and strange.
peniscam is no fun either 🙁
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I thought you got a take that CD or something for a moment there, my wife would be thrilled.
On the plus side you got the all clear eh, a close friend just cleared her's up and got the all clear after chemo etc, so prolly worth the effort...
You're not posting the photos then? In all seriousness, I hope all is well and it was just a "waste" of your time. Most Doctory stuff is a bit embarrassing, us blokes are the worst cowardly lot going!
Oh yes, defo worth it to make sure all is ok - or if not, to catch it early - a Take That CD lol
now I'm feeling I missed out on a Pussycat Girlz CD too 🙁
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What I feel people don't realise is the staff involved in looking at your bits and bobs are the most professional in the NHS. Whenever I have been for STD tests, the staff have been so professional putting you at ease, always on time and explaining the process. Besides they have seen enough nobs, muffs and jugs to not really be phased by it.
Hope today went well for you. 😀
I found a lump once, finally picked up the courage to go to the Dr's, I think that she was probably more embarrassed than I was, to quote her "most men ask to see a male doctor with this sort of problem". Fail.
Gotta take the dog out now, will have a look at the cd when I get back - I wonder if it IS possible to post the images?
most men ask to see a male doctor with this sort of problem
I find female doctors far more compassionate and keen to resolve your problems, in fact I hope to change my doc soon as he comes across as a box ticker.
How often do you need to have it done if you're a lady?
southern yeti -Lol.
I went to see a doctor a while ago about something down there, and it was one of the most embarassing thing i've ever had to do 🙁
"so if you can just take your trousers off..."
- I wonder if it IS possible to post the images?
PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEASE no Robbie Williams 🙁
I don't have any photographic keepsakes from the experience, though I recall about 3 hours of deep discomfort when I was convinced I'd never be able to pee again 🙁
simonfbarnes - Premier MemberI don't have any photographic keepsakes from the experience, though I recall about 3 hours of deep discomfort when I was convinced I'd never be able to pee again
That makes sense. I always reckoned you were full of piss.
I always reckoned you were full of piss.
never a truer word spoken 🙂
I forgot to say, I hope everyting is ok...
I've been looking around the forum andjust realiesed you're the poor person who nearly got squished by a bus today too. You have not had a good day have you. Nearly minced and then had to press your lady bumps against a cold X ray camera! Blimey, hope you have a better day tomorrow.
I went to the docs with a 'strange feeling' down below - odd, heavy feeling that i suspected was testicular cancer. Doc did the visual and hands-on examination (very embarrassing) before asking what sport i played, replied 'cycling' & he said "buy another saddle!".
Turned out i had some thickening of the tissue around the bunch of nerves between bum & bollox 😳 but seriously, get yourself checked out regularly whether male or female.
Definitely chose not to one of the female GPs at our practice when I found a lump, would be mightily embarassing seeing as I went to school with her!
I had a dose of prostatitis which was quite unnerving. All started after a long road ride and was just a nightmare time. At one point i thought they had left the door open on the docs surgery and queue of people had formed wanting to put their fingers up my bum !.
However all very professional and a urologist (who was a cyclist) actually came in with half a dozen saddles, a turbo trainer and some weird pressure pad thing - got a new seat out of it and he put it through on his books so insurance paid. Brilliant service ! Still go road riding with him.
Would she have told me if not all clear? She said she was sending the results to the Doctor. I was so freaked out by it all I didn't even ask. Besides the searing shame of the mammogram itself, it was in a posh private hospital in EC1 and I had gone on my bike, wearing the windproof I had worn mountainbiking on Sunday - I hadn't noticed until that moment that it was covered in mud and snot... I really just wanted to leave, she gave me the envelope and I bolted.
SFB - I don't really want to ask but I feel morbidly compelled - did peniscam actually go IN your penis?
Thank you to all who asked if it was clear - I think so, see above.
did peniscam actually go IN your penis?
It shore did 🙁 All the way to my bladder! Not that I saw, they knocked me out cold first...
Zaskar,
Every two years, and you're supposed to keep the film so they can compare next time. Just think, eventually I'll have a whole collection of tit photos. Gives a whole new meaning to "You must come round and see our photographs" lol
Smif****, thanks, hope I don't meet the 263 again!
I have looked on the CD - it contains 4 digital images. I pressed "play cine" and the images leap from side to side of the screen - hilarious. No idea how to post them. Its called Centricity DICOM Viewer.
Had kidney stone removed by going up my John Thomas 😯 had an epidural so was awake through the whole thing. Not the most comfortable experience. Having the catheter taken out was somewhere I dont want to go again.
peniscam really is grim. GA helps a lot, obviously, but pissing blood for 3 days afterwards is a bit disturbing.
Karinofnine,
I am glad that all is ok, not to make you worry, but my Mum went through breast cancer twice(she has been in remission for over 8 years). For this reason I am glad that you and other women put themselves through a few minutes of embarrassment and discomfort to get checked. I am always going on at Mrs Curtisthecat to get checked.
[i]For this reason I am glad that you and other women put themselves through a few minutes of embarrassment and discomfort to get checked.[/i]
well said. Spent 6 years working in breast cancer and it was quite mindblowing. Mammogs make a colossal difference.
my partner has had to have hers done every 6 months from 30, its apparently a very unpleasant experience and it always upsets her. Hope yours was OK.
On embarassing dr stories. I once had a swollen lymph node in my groin investigated and the consultant said we have a student here do you mind if she has a feel. No I say. Then in walks a jaw droppingly atteractive young lady who proceeded to put her hand down me pants look me in the eye and say "its not very big is it" then look very embaraased and pull her hand out. Quite upset me that 😥
Complaining aside, I am grateful that I can have a mammogram every two years (rather than the NHS three).
And, although I said it was clinical, it would be infinitely worse if, when you took your top off, the radiologist went "phwooooaarrr NICE RACK!"
Karin - it's good that we get checked. What's a bit of discomfort for peace of mind? As far as I am aware, you should get an all-clear letter but this of course may vary, dependant on area.
Agree with your last comment though 😆
A friend of mine (who works in IT, nuff said) thought a Mammogram was like a Kissogram where the lady showed the recipient her 'assets'. 😀
Anyone on here old enough to be invited to take part in the national bowel cancer screening programme?
It's a real charmer. You have to collect three samples of your excrement, taken over at least three separate days. Then you have to use a little cardboard spatula to smear a small amount of these, two at a time, over six little windows in a thick piece of card, and then post it off to the labs in a special shit-proof envelope.
The instructions say that the sample must not have been in a toilet bowl, but have to be obtained freshly-squeezed (not their words)
Their suggestion is to put on a plastic glove and shit in your hand!
I used some 1 pint plastic beer glasses we had left over from a party - a nice wide target area with plenty of room for overspill - but the smell was minging
The results came back showing that I'm not in the early stages of bowel cancer - whey hey!
my boss showed us the kit and described what he was going to have to do in more details than I cared to hear 🙁
sfb
surely you are now old enough to qualify for this life-enhancing test?
surely you are now old enough to qualify for this life-enhancing test?
perhaps, but it's not been offered to me, and I'm in no hurry for poo dabbling :o)
I had peniscam when I was a young lad of 13.
I can remember coming round from the anasthetic and seeing my concerned looking mum offering me some tea and toast, which somehow I managed to politely refuse while suppressing the urge to scream "Aaaaah Sweet Jesus ma cock!!"
You can usually save the images off the CD if it is centricity, should be a clicky button on the top row somewhere when you load up the image viewer. Advantage of going NHS is that they look after the pics for you... 😉
The people who take the pics are usually radiographers so they will need to be reviewed by either a radiologist (doc) or reviewing radiographer (radiographer with extra training). Hope all is well.....
I used some 1 pint plastic beer glasses we had left over from a party - a nice wide target area with plenty of room for overspill - but the smell was mingingThe results came back showing that I'm not in the early stages of bowel cancer - whey hey!
Excellent!
Except your wife is now worried you're trying out for the next "2 girls, 1 cup" grot movie! 😉
And, although I said it was clinical, it would be infinitely worse if, when you took your top off, the radiologist went "phwooooaarrr NICE RACK!"
Hahaha, good call! I'd be a nightmare if I was a doctor mind... Probably just as well I'm not! 😳
On embarassing dr stories. I once had a swollen lymph node in my groin investigated and the consultant said we have a student here do you mind if she has a feel. No I say. Then in walks a jaw droppingly atteractive young lady who proceeded to put her hand down me pants look me in the eye and say "its not very big is it" then look very embaraased and pull her hand out. Quite upset me that
Was admitted to hospital in a hurry when I was 18 with suspected appendicitis. Anyway, they had to see to me that night as it was possibly going to burst... Team of doctors came round, asked me to turn onto my side whilst one stuck a finger up my bum to have a feel around for the swelling... No major problems, not the most pleasant feeling, but I've had a lot worse...
"Do you mind if our new intern has a quick look too, she's only recently started and needs to learn about these things"... Seeing as I was in a lot of pain from my appendix, so wasn't that worried, and that someone else had already had their finger up there, didn't think it would be an issue...
Up steps this very young Chinese looking girl, about 5ft tall, and if she was old enough to be a doctor I was impressed! Anyway... Up her finger goes...
"I said a finger, not her whole fist!" 😯
Either she had the fattest fingers in the world, was totally inept, or decided to fist my arse for fun, but it was NOT pleasant... That a 50 something year old man can slip a digit in practically unoticed, yet a 22 year old shortarse girl makes me feel like I've been fisted was quite unnerving!
When I've been to have my bits looked at (lump) I was initially worried it would be awkward. It wasn't, the doc was perfectly factual and clinical about it despite covering my bits in his finest lube and asking the young female nurse to do a few things. I think the "odd" feeling is self-made most of the time, if you just accept it as clinical and a normal procedure its just like going for any other illness. But some people have issues with their private bits!
worst bit for me ( worse even that some of the bits that followed ) was when I was been screened for prostate trouble
into the docs surgery
slip into the nice little paper nightie thing
into the exam room
the cute little nurse says "ok, mr. lynch, hop up onto the table please"
it was only then I noticed the stirrups.
stirrups?... but I don't see no pony !! 😳
p.s. karin.. best of luck with your results.
karin, hope the results are okay. was there a reason you decided to have it done? just wondering as i got a letter from bupa the day after i turned 30, with lots of info about tests like this, and was wondering if its an age thing, or just a coincidence.
i had to get my moles checked last year and photographed to keep a record of them. i have quite a few, and had to strip to just my pants and stand in front of a camera, turning round a few times. the woman photographer did nothing to put me at ease, and the whole thing was quite embarrasing.
as i chatted to my GP at a kids football match i had to block out the thought that he'd had his finger up my arse and also had a feel of my knackers. i'm sure he felt the same. also had a dickcam with just local anesthetic and it was **** awful. but all these are better than being dead from nasty things that are never discovered.
which reminds me - DON'T FORGET TO CHECK YOUR BOLLOCKS LADS
My lady doctor recently stuffed her fingers up my arse checking for prostate problems. (None existed). They are doctors - they've seen worse.
and the whole thing was quite embarrasing.
it's funny our body awareness, I'm completely unconcerned about being seen naked, and have posted a nudie pic of myself on the forum, but I can't pee if I think someone is watching me!
barium enema isn't fun, especially when it's done in the hospital you work at and you see the nurses doing your proceedure in the staff canteen everyday!
"oh, i thought i recognised you " etc etc etc 😳
I found my 'post vasectomy sample' delivery a little unnerving, handing the canister over to the pretty nurse who would presumably be getting the contents straight under the microscope.
In the course of having various lumps investigated, I've lost count of the number of doctors who'd had a finger up my arse ("tail end" is a common euphimism used by the docs - just call it the rectum FFS, I [i]am[/i] an adult!). Had a camera up there too, thankfully under GA!
Also been checked for lumps on my testes by the most gorgeous young female doctor, but that wasn't as bad as getting the ultrasound where you get smeared in the gel and the thing gets slowly massaged around your testicles - thank **** it was a bloke doing it!
Karinofnine - hope your results come back clear!
I had an ultrasound scan on my nads. Like Kit says, it involves having a cold hand-held scanner slowly rubbed over plums - made all the worse in my case as it was a very pretty female oriental radiographer doing the procedure. Under normal circumstances you might think this was nirvana (indeed, I'm sure some guys would gladly pay for this kind of attention), but in my case the young lady with the hand scanner couldn't stop smiling and giggling. I've tried to convince myself it was just nerves on her part.
would it be so bad if you got a stiffy ? - if it were unimpressive you could rightly say it was restrained by embarrassment :o) And if it was a bloke you could claim it was unintentional!
dirtygirlonabike - Member
karin, hope the results are okay. was there a reason you decided to have it done? just wondering as i got a letter from bupa the day after i turned 30, with lots of info about tests like this, and was wondering if its an age thing, or just a coincidence
Hi, I am 54 so am on the NHS radar for this kind of thing but also I am lucky enough to work for a firm who give us Wellwoman screens every two years for free.
Maybe it's an age thing which triggered BUPA's letter?
+ for peniscam - absolutley harrowing, nurse had to remind me to breathe in case I fainted. 😡
DGOAB, without wanting to get too controversial about this I read a few things back in November when the American cancer society recommended not starting screening until the age of 50 in line with WHO Guidelines as it does more harm than good.
[url= http://skepchick.org/blog/2009/11/no-ladies-the-new-breast-cancer-guidelines-arent-patronizing/ ]Some commentary here.[/url]
It is worth noting that these recommendations are for women with no additional risk factors beyond being female so if there is a family history or a genetic predisposition then this advice does not apply.
Without knowing your personal circumstances it's impossible to be sure but the BUPA thing seems like a means of generating easy income by playing on the fear of cancer rather than any sound clinical reasoning.