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Via a pal's feed, I just watched / listened to a video of a poor-old-Arsenal-fan crying on national radio, heartbroken over his team's weekend performance / predicament. FFS, really? Get a grip (think of the refugees etc).
Think of the poor children as well for god's sake.
Yeh, heard that. Assumed it had to be some kind of Simon Brodkin-esque prank call. They replayed it on 5Live the next day and the presenters were struggling not to piss themselves.
Enjoy:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/arsenal-fan-breaks-down-tears-12128360
Nothing wrong with men crying; all sorts of things wrong with becoming that obsessed with eleven other men kicking a ball.
It's a valid reaction to certain things, there are often mentions of dusty eyes in the Bullheart thread for example. But in relation to football, get a grip people!
Alright I thought this was going to be some big piece about male macho stereotypes and how men need an outlet of emotion too and it's okay to have feelings etc etc but that is pretty weak, man the **** up.
Arsenal fan ≠ grown man
all sorts of things wrong with becoming that obsessed with eleven other men kicking a ball.
Unless it's one of yours.
Fair point, well made.
But it's awful though, isn't it? They're in the latter stages of a European competition, sixth place in the league, current FA Cup holders, financially solvent...
Actually, I'm welling up just thinking about their plight.
Get a grip (think of the refugees etc).
Should be....think of the referees.
all sorts of things wrong with becoming that obsessed with eleven other men kicking a ball.
Agreed. As hard as I’ve tried, I just can’t excited about 6.5 a side football.
nealglover...Just can’t excited about 6.5 a side football.
Wouldn't that be 13 men? Or do they have to have one none man per team?
As long as it stops at crying, I'm ok with it.
I had never been into football but started taking my son a couple of years ago as he loves it.
I have started to enjoy going to the matches this season but still do not understand how angry and upset some fans get when we lose or concede a goal.
Amélie Poulain aime.
Playing devils advocate here, surely though it's all relative to who you are.
The guy on the phone is someone who may not have anything else in his life, as in no family or social circle and to him football is everything. To him Arsenal is everything so I can understand why he can become so emotionally attached to something and if anything I felt some compassion towards him,
Personally I like football but in no way to that degree but I do understand how something can make someone feel that way, to a lot of people though football is certainly a trivial matter but whatever your passion is I guess.
#wend-eye-ballers
often mentions of dusty eyes
You can say crying it's ok you know
It’s lacriminal
I had to google it, but that's very good. As are the Swanson quotes.
You can say crying it’s ok you know
It was a direct reference to how other people say it on emotional threads. Last time I cried was over a TV Show, but I think there was an underlying driver then! Crying is fine for all people, although I have probably cried more about pets than people.
As hard as I’ve tried, I just can’t excited about 6.5 a side football.
I was rather assuming that a distraught Arsenal fan didn't have the same level of obsession for whichever other team they happened to be playing at the time. Maybe I'm wrong and he feels the same about all teams, and spends a harrowing hour each Saturday afternoon reacting like this every fifteen seconds as Dickie Davis reads out the scores from the teletype.
To him Arsenal is everything so I can understand why he can become so emotionally attached to something and if anything I felt some compassion towards him,
I can understand if you're emotionally attached to a cat, and it gets run over, you cry. If you support one of the most successful teams in the history of the Premier League and have simply lost four games in a row, two of them against the league leaders, then I'm struggling to see life through his eyes a little.
[i]perchypanther wrote:[/i]
all sorts of things wrong with becoming that obsessed with eleven other men kicking a ball.
Unless it’s one of yours.
Is it allowed to cry in that case?
One single tear to establish dramatic tension before exacting bloody revenge is permissible.
Did no one click on the link about that Brazilian referee?
Whaaaat in God's name is that all about?
Can't believe they attached such a graphic link either.
Aren't you all just the butchest of the butch?
Stiff upper lip, jumpers for goalposts, isn't it..mmmm.. woman's place is in the kitchen, don't like these darkies much, taking over the place, sorry, for a moment there I thought we were in the 1970s.
Men who don't cry? What's that about? A bit weird, that is.
Grown men crying?
Oh wait, you mean the Brexit thread...
Can’t remember who said it, but always loved this.
”somebody told me to man up, so I painted my face like a flag and cried when another man couldn’t kick a ball properly”
Crying over any game (if you are older than twelve) should be met with derision.
I still can't get through the last bit of DIY SOS without needing to blub a bit.
people who think that displays of emotion, when made by men, should be met with derision.. should be met with derision.
If anyone thinks I'm just being a nob for the sake of it, here's something that happens (partly) because boys are brought up being told it's not "manly" to show emotion, and in particular "big boys don't cry". Well, maybe they don't, but some of them kill themselves instead. Yeah, I know, boo ****ing hoo.
https://www.samaritans.org/about-us/our-research/facts-and-figures-about-suicide
people who think that displays of emotion, when made by men, should be met with derision.. should be met with derision.
If anyone thinks I’m just being a nob for the sake of it, here’s something that happens (partly) because boys are brought up being told it’s not “manly” to show emotion, and in particular “big boys don’t cry”. Well, maybe they don’t, but some of them kill themselves instead. Yeah, I know, boo **** hoo.
https://www.samaritans.org/about-us/our-research/facts-and-figures-about-suicide
With respect ed, they aren't the same thing. Grown men cry at soccer because they invest a lot of their lives in the teams to the point where it forms part of their identity. They refer to the team's achievements as "we" or "us", they wear the team colours to inform strangers as to their allegiances and perhaps most importantly, they develop rivalries and conflict with other teams. When they cry it's because they've completely lost perspective as to the importance of the event in relation to their own lives.
Depression and suicide on the other hand, well there are seemingly almost limitless contributing factors on a variety of spectrums that can lead to, contribute to or trigger those. Anything and everything from ill health, bad luck, failed relationships, lonliness to hormone irregularities caused by sub traumatic brain injuries in earlier life and probably many combinations of the above and more.
Raising boys and men to suppress their emotions and never discuss how they feel is wrong, but raising boys to learn to control or even ignore their emotions is essential to make functioning men who can actually "man up" should the need arise for whatever reason.
people who think that displays of emotion, when made by men, should be met with derision.. should be met with derision.
We have a winner.
I have no interest in football but I cry like a 6-year old girl with a grazed knee at the end of Armageddon. Who am I to judge? Boys / men are conditioned from an early age to suppress emotions and that's not healthy.
raising boys to learn to control or even ignore their emotions is essential to make functioning men who can actually “man up” should the need arise for whatever reason.
That's a candidate for the biggest load of horseshit I've ever read on STW, and we have posters who have their own hashtags. Being emotional and being a "functional man" are not mutually exclusive and if you think otherwise then you're part of the problem. And suggesting that men aren't real men unless they've been taught to "control their emotions" is monumentally patronising.
How do you feel about women who need to "woman up" occasionally? Should they also learn the same controls, or does it not matter because what are they doing out of the kitchen anyway?
What he said
The only thing that annoys me is that sport is the only place where we ever see men cry, I have never cried over a sporting event but I wont mock those who do . The inability of men to articulate emotions, or being mocked when they do, is a far greater problem than those crying over things I have not cried about.
Cougar
That’s a candidate for the biggest load of horseshit I’ve ever read on STW, and we have posters who have their own hashtags.
Funny how you managed to completely miss or ignore the part of my post which says "Raising boys and men to suppress their emotions and never discuss how they feel is wrong ".
Being emotional and being a “functional man” are not mutually exclusive and if you think otherwise then you’re part of the problem. And suggesting that men aren’t real men unless they’ve been taught to “control their emotions” is monumentally patronising.
Cougar, I used a colloquialism in a normal way, I didn't think it would prompt you to lose your shit. Allow me to give you an example of what I meant. If my son hurts himself or is sad for some reason I won't punish him, tell him not to be sad or tell him to man up, I'll ask him what's wrong. However, when he's rolling around on the floor of his nursery group screaming and crying because he doesn't want to go in I'll tell him to stop acting like a baby and go join his friends in nursery. Hopefully this approach will lead to him being able to discuss his emotions but also be able to control them.
How do you feel about women who blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who said anything about women? We were discussing grown men crying. Saying something about A MAN does not automatically infer the opposite is true or even relevant regarding ALL WOMEN.
Funny how you managed to completely miss or ignore
He quoted it and commented on it. Were you trying to prove you could do even more "horseshit"?
I didn’t think it would prompt you to lose your shit.
Another? He commented on your post - have you lost your shit or just replied?
He quoted it and commented on it. Were you trying to prove you could do even more “horseshit”?
Did he indeed. Go back and read it again, there's a good boy.
Funny how you managed to completely miss or ignore the part of my post
I didn't miss it, I agreed with it (and probably should've said so). It was just totally contradicted by the rest of that sentence.
I didn’t think it would prompt you to lose your shit.
I'm fully in control of my shit, being a well-adjusted adult. Thanks though.
I won’t... tell him to man up... I’ll tell him to stop acting like a baby
There's a world of difference between acting your age and acting like a "man." Why is this gender-specific?
Hopefully this approach will lead to him being able to discuss his emotions but also be able to control them.
I genuinely don't see how "stop crying" is encouragement to discuss emotions. Apologies if I've missed something here.
Who said anything about women?
I did, just then. Does the same apply? What would you tell a hypothetical daughter in the same situation?
Saying something about A MAN does not automatically infer the opposite is true or even relevant regarding ALL WOMEN.
Random CAPS is always the hallmark of a solid argument. Not quite sure why it's "A" man but "ALL" women, mind.
I'm weeping tears of despair at this thread now.
As is my right as a man.
I dont need to as I am not the one with perception, comprehension or recall problems.
Cougar
I didn’t miss it, I agreed with it (and probably should’ve said so). It was just totally contradicted by the rest of that sentence.
It didn't contradict it - you ignored half the post then ascribed the worst possible intentions to the rest of it. We all control or suppress our emotions constantly, all day every day. The idea that controlling your emotions, or ignoring them in the short term to achieve something is now somehow taboo?
There’s a world of difference between acting your age and acting like a “man.” Why is this gender-specific?
What's the thread title again?
I genuinely don’t see how “stop crying” is encouragement to discuss emotions. Apologies if I’ve missed something here.
Do you have kids Cougar? There's a time and a place for discussing emotions. Mid tantrum doesn't work very well in my experience.
I did, just then. Does the same apply? What would you tell a hypothetical daughter in the same situation?
Hypotheitcal daughter? My daughter will do just fine. I treat her differently from my son because they are different people with different personalities.
Not quite sure why it’s “A” man but “ALL” women, mind.
Because the only man I can actually try to influence is my son. I can quote platitudes and cliches all day long but I probably can't change anyone else. But you took this to be somehow indicative of me thinking the opposite about all women.
I just watched / listened to a video of a poor-old-Arsenal-fan crying on national radio, heartbroken over his team’s weekend performance / predicament. FFS, really? Get a grip
im sorry, I realise I’ve let myself, my family and even STW down.....but I’ve been an Arsenal fan for nearly 50 years and that mad Frenchman is killing our club!