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A mate of mine was trimming down below with a beard trimmer for his snip when he managed to slice his ballsack open - cue panicky drive by his wife to get him to A&E so the nurses could [s]take the piss mercilessly[/s] clean up the mess! 😆
Shocking hand/eye coordination for a BA pilot. 🙄
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You're welcome
theotherjonv - Member
I think Dude's just been waiting for this thread so he can come clean about his deviant practices.
😯 deviant???! Are you being serious?! 😆
Tbh I think immac/etc is going to be the tool of choice for my, er, tool.
Just hope I don't react too badly! Might have to involve the missus in the process too...
Right, exploratory trimmage complete with only a couple of nicks to show for it. Now something sharper, but today? Or Saturday night/sunday mornAnd how the hell do I shave, erm well, the dangly bits? Saw the advice about stretching them tight, but huh? Sounds like dissecting mice in gcse biology. Do I need to pin them to a chopping board?
Oh come on! It shouldn't be necessary to explain to a grown man how to pull slack skin tight to allow it to be shaved properly!
🙄
Don't get why some blokes worry themselves about shaving their sack. Women manage it and there's a lot more dangly bits to catch the blade on than the average sack, even if you've got pendulum balls.
Take your fingers, form a ring around the base of your scrotum and pull the skin taut. It should then be tight enough to shave but not so tight you render the point of the vasectomy moot.
If you make a mistake and cut anything off this is ideal for repairs......
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Not particulary relevent but back in the day I was at a party in London at a Nurses college (balwick/Balham?) accomdation and was kinda chatting up a nurse.
Conversation got onto the snip and shaving down there and I asked her do they teach mundane stuff like that or are they left to their own devices and how the flip do they shave the crinkly ballsack?
With a twinkle in her eye she said she'd show me - and chuckled a bit. Fortunatly I wasn't so leathered that all my wits had left me, and I was trying to find a way to politely refuse but still keep the conversation going when the pair of us clapped eyes on a mate who had been around soho earlier (I was off playing lax for a local team) and was passed out in a corner.
I had to find a towel, razor and some foam and she would shave him ready for the snip.
It wasn't too hard to get the items but in the process most people in the party heard and came over to watch.
In THE least sexual manner possible she dropped his trous, lathered him up and then grabbed a bollock and pulled it really, really tight and ran the razor in swift upwards motions (agsinst the grain)over the taut sack.
There was a slight frown of concentration from the victim.
She proceeded to grab tyhe other bollock and do the same, then wrenched the plod skyhigh and ploughed through the main bush like a joyrider.
Trous back up and he was left there until the following morning (I didn't pull that nurse, I strongly suspect she had never been trained on preparing someone for the snip either).
Following day - matey bubbles woke up and went for a piss - thunderous piss which stopped half way with a slight "HUH!" noise.
He never mentioned it (and nor did we) but the next 3 weeks involves even more furtive scratching of his groin than usual.
A shame it was back in about 93 before everyone and his mate had phones with cameras.
Never against the grain. Can cause ingrown hairs, same as shaving your face.
Do round your arsehole as well then use some of that original source mint shower gel in the shower afterwards. Sensational!
Bloody brilliant....just spat my dinner out everywhere laughing at this!
I'm guessing that the OP doesn't manscape at the mo!
Clippers and trim to a 1 all over then get some Very and go from there...dead smooth and simple.
A razor works but it isn't a properly smooth finish for more than a half hour.
I did not shave and nor was I shaved by anyone else for my Vaz butchering. The incision is tiny and there is only 3 or 4 stitches on each side.
I did the Dyfi Ebduro 10 days later with no serious issues. I would however caution at following inexperienced riders who baulk at steps mid way and cause you to connect with your stem. They will never know the pain they caused me as I could not speak.
Oh and it does reduce your bedroom vigor to slower more gentle strokes - no pornstar rabbit speed action.
Well, many thanks for the advice folks. Project deforestation is pretty much complete, so we're at the "last turkey in the shop" sort of stage.
Wish me luck for Sunday! 😛
Im having mine on Saturday
they told me I dont need to bother, does that mean the nurses do it for me?
"last turkey in the shop"
Finest blackadder quote ever...
does that mean the nurses do it for me?
Do you want them to? 😉
You'd better hope so, unless they're going to pass you a cut throat and tell you to get on with it... 😯
Bonne chance - feel free to post up how you're doing sat eve/sun morn just to keep me motivated...
they told me I dont need to bother, does that mean the nurses do it for me?
Nope. They're going in through the end. 😯
does that mean the nurses do it for me?
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Finest blackadder quote ever...
Kryten in Red Dwarf. "Last chicken in Sainsbury's."
- feel free to post up how you're doing sat eve/sun morn just to keep me motivated...
pictures or not?
I stand corrected...I thought it was blackadder.. 😐
*edit*
I'm right...
Captain Blackadder: Good thing the horny old blighter didn't ask you to marry him.
[George makes a smug face]
Captain Blackadder: He did? Well, how did you get out of that one?
Lieutenant George: Well, to be honest, sir, I'm not completely certain that I did.
Captain Blackadder: WHAT? You said YES?
Lieutenant George: Well, sir, I didn't feel that I could refuse. I mean, he is a general, he might have me court martialled!
Captain Blackadder: Where as he's going to give you the Victoria Cross when he lifts up your frock on the wedding night, and finds himself looking at the last turkey in the shop!
pictures or not?
Of the nurses? Sure, why not.
@cougarI stand corrected...I thought it was blackadder..
*edit*
I'm right...
Think you both might be wrong.
Pretty sure that the "last chicken in Sainsburys" line was first cracked as part of the Billy Connolly routine about shampoo for pubic hair.
"I've got pigtails in mine..... Willie Nelson"
😕
Clearly a poached line of, err, lines.
Think you both might be wrong.
Pretty sure that the "last chicken in Sainsburys" line was first cracked as part of the Billy Connolly routine about shampoo for pubic hair.
Well, I misremembered Kryten's quote (it's "in the shop" rather than "Sainsbury's"). Sainsbury's does indeed come from Billy Connolly.
as far as I can Google, credit does go to Blackadder. Blackadder was 1989, Red Dwarf 1991, and the Big Yin on Parkinson in 2004.
BC could have been using it for years prior to that though, it's hard to tell.
Connolly probably had a gag about McBawbags butchers having the last chicken in 1978.... 😆
T - 3 hours
It's no great drama. One small prick and you won't feel a thing.
T - 3 hours
Have you practised your opening gambit to the nurses?
"Bit cold in here."
Ibuprofen, BEFORE the op. you can thank me later.
A bag of frozen peas for afterwards.
Chill your beans.
Well other than the smell of burning tubes as they cauterised them it was a bit of anti climax.
The initial local injection was a brief sting that was the worst bit
Keyhole, so tiny wound, no shaving required
I was in and out in under an hour
Little kimbers rapidly retreated and became micro kimbers, but the nurse was professional throughout, obvs.
The doc was an ex bowel surgeon, which was quite reassuring I came away with his email and a list of journal article he authored as he has developed his own system for bowel cancer diagnosis, which is related to my work 😯
Worst bit is no riding for 4 weeks apparently !!! Hopefully be ok by me year for a blast a ride out.
The doc was an ex bowel surgeon, which was quite reassuring
I bet he's seen some shit in his career. 😉
T-3 hours here too. Any last words of advice?
Got my snip coming up on 30 Dec (three weeks before the Puffer, should be an interesting challenge)
Could be 'interesting' or could be massively painful disaster!
I felt fine for riding after a couple of weeks, went out for a couple of hours...Then spent another two weeks hobbling about thinking I'd irreversibly damaged myself.
You could be fine and might feel ok, but please make sure you get a few short rides in to make sure before attempting the puffer!!
T-3 hours here too. Any last words of advice?
Hope that you don't get a trampoline for Christmas.
Is live streaming it a good idea?
I can smell the burning from here...
Might pop over tomorrow to see you, fancy going for a ride 😉
No burning, no stitches. Mind you, it was in Runcorn so wouldn't be surprised if they used their teeth.
Two jabs in Mr Righty; three in Mr Lefty. That wasn't nice.
But all in all, a bit *meh*. Worse than childbirth? Well, I wouldn't do it again 😉
How's it going rich s ?
My plums are actually plum coloured, and a bit swollen, incision has almost healed up though
Couldn't face the tube yesterday so cycled the couple of km to work and I'm a bit tender that dull ache after you've been kicked in the balls
Hopefully fit for again afan on the 28th, but I'm only 50/50 on my chamces
Well he's been to Tesco's at Bidston today so Rich is either off his tits on pain killers or Kin stupid 😉
First proper ride today 2 hours round local xc trails, took the full sus rather than the hardtail
all seems fine a wee but tender, but quite pleased
T-14 hours.....