but you have to wait until they can support their heads,
You don't really you just need the right carrier.
But mum's pelvic floor will dictate what she can do when your not around. Don't push it you'll do long term damage.
Ours is nearly 3 and the out and about nipper still gets used for long walks where she gets tired. we got when the buggy/pram thing we got when she was born stopped being useful at about 18 months. The usual suspect maclaren folding buggy was a non starter....
why not say the same to the bloke that made the rude and demeaning comment about the childfree?
Are you in the same thread?
edit - deleted
A hairdryer? 🤣 my hair is not that long, however the Missus’ hair takes about 2 hours to dry…. So that could be a good option 🤣
Interesting about the pram wording, definitely sounds like you’re all right and we will be using it a while in that case. You can tell it’s the first one!
Tbh I don’t mind if there are opposing views at all and I have friends who don’t have any kids and it’s totally upto them and Im strong enough in my mind to know I’m happy with what we’re doing and everyone’s has their own views…
I think what I will say was wow I think we both underestimated the whole pregnancy thing and doesn’t feel like there’s alot out there with true experiences especially about the 1st trimester.
Happy to share our experience but everyone’s will be different. For nigh on 16 weeks she felt sick all the time, and I mean ALL the time, it then got to actually being sick when she felt really sick, for 2 weeks.
Was funny as she kept saying although I feel sick at least I’m not being sick, and was getting a bit smug… then started being sick!
Just wanted to help her but there was nothing I could do.
It also meant we had to be very aware where we were going, so if we were going shopping keeping something to be sick in nearby. Or knowing where toilets were at all times, She’s NHS so joked that the sick bowls they have look like upturned party hats so had to always make sure we had a party hat!
Just one of those things and I know some people we know have been stunned how ill she has felt as they never had that, but yes I’d say she definitely has been very strong for those 16 odd weeks.
Anyway we’re just past 20 weeks now and everything’s all good, makes me laugh as she was a tea OBSESSIVE and no longer likes tea at the moment and doesn’t like cake and part of the fun of bikerides is the halfway cake stop! 🤣
Plus side is for a while I was eating half her tea’s! Not going to complain at that!!
You don’t really you just need the right carrier.
Yup, loads of different options out there for tinys, from stretchy wraps to papooses and load of others in between
Still be wanting a pram though
FWIW, all the wee buggers are wired differently. Ours were hair dryer incompatible. Ewan the Dream Sheep OTOH . . .
TJ - life and death are at opposite ends of the same spectrum of life experience.
You have been - and still are - at one end of that spectrum; everyone who has posted about your loss has been supportive and no-one has been in any way negative or critical.
For the benefit of those about to join that spectrum of life experience at the other end - new parents specifically - I would strongly suggest to all onlookers/outsiders that, unless you have something positive or helpful to say - say nothing
My daughter is about to start a course of IVF; any suggestions about what I should say to help/support her?
In addition, of course, to all the dad support I've already given - and will continue to provide.
As a general view - ready, fire, aim doesn't work.
Best of luck.
Fwiw the happiest families I see are where both parents went a little part time - so both of them know what work is like and both of them know what looking after the kid(s) is like. Dunno whether that's a cause (keeps you both in similar worlds so communication is easier) or a symptom (the arrangement is a natural consequence of having similar goals and working as a team).
Congratulations! Not much to add to the above, except to remember that some who offer advice based on their own experience are doing so based on a sample size of 1 or 2, so don't worry about finding what works for you, even if it's different.
Congratulations! The best way I’ve heard it described is like being smashed in the face with a sledgehammer, but in a good way.
My eldest is taking her A Levels at the moment
You will be making that statement in what will seem like about 2 weeks.
It’s great though because she makes me playlists and we go to gigs and the footy together now.
Savour every moment of it. It’s an adventure! It’s absolutely ****ing brilliant! 😃
Frank - does that give people the right to insult the childfree? Can you not see how offensive that post I quoted was?
I was happy to drop it - why do you keep it up?
All I wanted to do was point out how offensive that post was
If it matters… which it probably doesn’t, we didn’t buy a pram for either of our boys. They wanted to be held all the time and were happy to be in a sling on either of us. Neither would have tolerated not being able to see what was going on.
TJ other than using the word “rave” I’m not seeing the controversy in that post. It’s been pointed out to him that people are different. Move on and stop making this thread about you
A good tumble dryer. You need a good tumble dryer.
Two kids here, both used cloth nappies, no tumble dryer.
Anyway, I'm currently cycling the Devon c2c with my 10 year old and we're both having a brilliant time.
Well we’re at 30 weeks now, pleased to say the sickness has died right down and made her laugh when I said to her probably around 22 weeks that she’s got a personality again 🤣
She noticed it too but was clearly feeling pretty rubbish, just wondered I think a few people have mentioned good books for men in regards to pregnancy and labour, can anyone direct what are the good ones? Do any read like a comedy? I’d be down for that 🤣
Anyway we’ve been watching hypnobirthing videos online, reading lots of guides and just been tailing back the riding. She did Metabief Green DH run at 28 weeks which was perfect as she’s got a huge MTB streak running through her and is very competent on a bike but would never do anything other than a gentle flow trail to keep safe riding. As she says she’s got as much chance tripping down/up stairs as she has of having an issue on the bike, less so as she’s going steady and has great bike control just reinforcing her being safe on a bike 👍
Glad it’s going well for you. Exciting times!
I think I was just told which chapters of certain books to read… but I can’t remember anything about it now.
Glad all is going well!
We listened to and still do, the parenting hell podcast with Widecombe and Beckett. Very good!
Man versus Baby was a good read by Matt Coyne.
Congratulations OP. I've got 4 including twins. We used stretchy wraps, woven wraps, Tula carriers and a variety of prams. Stretchy wraps from birth are brilliant, keeps the baby calm and gives you free hands to do stuff. With one baby it's easier than manoeuvring a pram through a crowded shop, getting it out of the car etc.
For books, I only read bits of the baby sleep plan by Annabelle Scott Wright and it worked pretty well for all of them.
Congratualtions.
What you need to do now is buy yourself 10 presents of bike parts - pedals, headset, stem etc. Then wrap individually and hide in the loft.
On each write Do Not Open till 2022, 2023,2024 etc etc. Because soon as your new child is born, that will be the end of your bike buying. So this way each year you can open one of them and you'll get something for yourself.
You could use identical packaging, then mix them all up before labeling them so each year its a surprise.
Haha well I’ve gone for “the new dads survival guide” , oh yes the stretchy wraps look great and as it’s been mentioned would rather wear baby than push about I think.
I’m sure we’ll find our own rhythm though, ha let’s see if I can break the mould regarding never being able to buy bike Parts again 🤣 , but we’ll see as I’m under no illusion. Bought a spin bike the other day so we can both get on the pedals at short notice if we want in the garage 👍
The commando dad books are decent. Take you though pregnancy and the early days, some useful guides.
Nice one and congratulations to you both!
Just this thread explains one of the big issues when you tell someone your having kids. Everyone has an opinion on what is right and wrong.
My 2penneth
1. again Everyone has an opinion on what is right and wrong.
2. Look after yourselves. Its an emotional and physical roller coaster strap yourself in.
3. try not to get upset when the midwives tell you your doing it wrong. Your probably not. see point 1
4. get some food in before the birth that you can cook easily.
5. people will buy you stuff and then think they have an opinion on how how to raise your kid. see point 1
6. things are expensive.
7. buy stuff second hand. after the first 6 months (see point 6)
8. you wont need toys initially.
good luck. Youll smash it. look after your mrs 🙂
Get a bag ready to take to hospital, I know it's early and let's hope you don't need it for 10 weeks but it's better to be prepared and not need it than the other way round.
Listen to the Parenting He'll podcast with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdecombe. It's really funny and occasionally has a useful tip.
My kids are 21 and 13 now, enjoy the ride!
Because soon as your new child is born, that will be the end of your bike buying.
May I humbly disagree. I reckon you’ll be buying bikes for three not two. Or four in our case.
And when everyone rides road, cross/gravel and MTB you’ll be buying bikes like there’s no tomorrow.
Enjoy
Well just an update, Reuben was born on 05/10 , Mum’s labour I think has given me a bit of PTSD! I never ever want to see her in that much pain again, anyone echo that?
Funny as we were in the induction ward, they induced her with the balloon but then after that they were too busy to break her waters! 2 days in hosp later after we saw a few ladies casually leave to give labour…. Bring on Charlottes. Contractions quickly ramped up from 10 mins to 4 then 3 mins and she screamed the ward down….it’s true love when you’ve had to be with her in toilet and she’s screaming to you I don’t know if it’s a poo or a baby but in agony.
Moved into the labour ward with no hesitance, 40 mins in there with her wriggling like a caught salmon, issues with baby getting distressed and quickly moved to theatre where she had epidural and episiotomy which hoping doesn’t affect her cycling too much in future.
They don’t tell you about the pain after these operations making it hard to sit down and not nice to see her going through it.
Yay!!!!! Congratulations!
Also, yes 8 months ago we welcomed our daughter into the world - it was no walk in the park.
Like you, we'd done the Hypnobirthing thing - and it was nothing like that.
Without going into too much detail - waters broke, but didn't go into labour, ended up being induced at 7am Friday and daughter didn't arrive until late Saturday afternoon. During that time, I'm ashamed to admit that I was regretting it all - watching the woman you love go through what appears to be horrific torture and worrying if she's going to make it. The three of us then spent a week in hospital. Never again could I expect my wife to go through that again. Wife absolutely has PTSD and it seeing a councillor which has helped.
Fast forward a few months and we couldn't be happier and the trauma is (more or less) a distant memory. Although my wife does joke that if she was ever to meet the Hypnobirthing woman in the street, she'd be getting decked!
I hope the 3 of you are all recovering well - now go enjoy being a family:)
(PS - Baby Growbags/sleeping bags, Perfect Prep Machine, Alexa controlled light in nursery, Milton sterilizing wipes for dummies)
(PPS - Don't even try to get a routine going i the first few weeks, it'll just stress you, fly by the seat of your pants for a while and you'll gradually find your routine - but once you have found it, stick with it!)
Congratulations, enjoy the crazy rollercoaster that is parenting 👍
Congratulations!
Agree that seeing childbirth and watching a partner in pain is horrid - let alone being the one in pain...Virtual hugs to you on that front. Healing will happen.
Congratulations, great news! Mine are now 20 and 16 - birth feels so long ago, but also yesterday! Enjoy the whole damn rollercoaster, it's great!
Congratulations! You're truly screwed now! My eldests birth cost me my favourite pair of sambas but I wouldn't swap him for anything. Except perhaps a new set of sambas.
To add to the list of bike progression. I’ve found the following is a useful bit of kit
>>> follow me tandem
Lovely to hear the news, hope you all recover and settle quickly.
It's a crazy and amazing roller coaster from here on in.
(Avoided the traumatic childbirth due to a C-section. When MrsMC was a week overdue they discovered that her limp - resulting from her cerebral palsy, resulting from a botched delivery when she was born - meant that her hips and pelvis were twisted and there was no way she could have tried to give birth naturally. For which I am forever grateful, though i did live in fear of the second one coming early, knowing the risk)
Awwww, congratulations to you both. From experience, an episiotomy doesn't affect cycling but by god, give it time! The swelling will go down but for a while it will feel like the world has dropped out of her bits (which in a way it has). If she's on diclofenac make sure she takes them with food as they are rotten on the stomach.
Kip Jr is now 12 and I still find myself surprised I am responsible for another human being, I don't think that ever goes away.
Oh, and the Singletrack mag spine quote when Kip Jr was born was something like "It's time to soft-pedal for a bit now." Probably the most apt quote ever and one that got all of us through at times. Go easy on yourselves, you're learning a whole new job.
Congratulations. My experience of childbirth is that the destination is worth it but the journey is brutal.
Kids are the hardest, most infuriating, confusingly brilliant things. You can go from wanting to throttle them to loving them in the blink of an eye (and vice versa).
Congratulations. Now brace yourself for the ride!
Top tip- grab every opportunity for a nap that you can- you're going to need it.
Oh wow yes baby was back to back hence why he came like he did.
Her episiotomy has apparently gone quite far into her butt cheek and last night she said it felt like her stitches were tearing, I mean it’s the bum so i can imagine so after all the sitting helping look after little un!
She’s only on ibu and paracetamol as didn’t want anything stronger, wow morecash that sounds challenging but it’s how we face the challenge isn’t it.
My hormones have been easily triggered as well this week!!
Just woke up at 3am for a feed, starting slightly to get used to it. The initial wake is horrible but then it gets easier the longer you’re awake. I still can’t wait for him to sleep through though, or around 5 hours when he can, as that’s how long daddy’s. 39yr old bladder can go before he needs to wake 🤣
My youngest is 8 and I’m still looking forward to them sleeping all the way through 🤣🤣🤣
… it does get better though.
A friend said the big milestone for him was when they can shower themselves.
Massive congratulations! It is the best feeling in the world holding that newborn for the first time. I was pretty much the last person in the ward to hold her as a few issues. But...my god, worth the wait.
As a few have said. Really look after yourselves too, especially your OH. And don't want to bring it down, but with a full on birth like you guys have had, look for signs of PND. Hopefully it won't affect you at all.
I've now got to go and wake my 14 month old up next door as she is still exhausted from our daddy daughter day yesterday at a soft play centre. Finally she is sleeping through!
Wow! Not exactly an easy birth, but congratulations to you all! Also, welcome to the world young Reuben!
Thanks all, and sorry about the terrible grammar. I was half asleep when I wrote that…
Keep an eye on the episiotomy wound, it's no fun if they get infected. (Have t-shirt and can provide gory graphic detail if needed). (You don't need it, really you don't).
Well done Mrs chrisyork and enjoy every moment with Rueben.
Fwiw, we discovered that 4 hours uninterrupted sleep was the point we didn't feel like death the next day. I started cycling to work after MCJnr was born, as I'd been driving in but had no recollection of the journey.
(I also fell asleep in a work training session on at least one occasion, but as all my staff were mums over 40, they understood and left me to it.)
WooHoo, huge congratulations!
We had a relatively straightforward birth thankfully but even that felt like a wild ride as a first timer.
Our little man is 16 months old now and he's my best mate. He follows me everywhere. People think he's older than he is because he's tall and running around so well. He's trying so hard to speak so he's constantly babbling nonsense.
He sleeps now but that first year was brutal. We were both running on empty the whole time, it was really bleak.
Now it's fun, mostly, but still constant hard work. We couldn't have another one with no family around as it's been way too hard. I can't think of anything worse than having a toddler and a new baby at the same time, especially when you can't phone someone when you're desperate for a break or need some sleep.
Thanks all, and yes we’ve had the episiotomy wound issue only the other night when her wound was excruciatingly painful resulting in 11pm call to emergency mat number and trip into hosp.
Best news not infected and healing well, pain was just due to it being at that stage and even The morning after she was totally different. Has also gone from taking 2x para and 2x ibuprof at once to having them separately that may help. Crucial to just keep those drugs coming and don’t falter though, if this helps any new mums going forward
