MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Received a text this morning 'husband walked out last night saying 'soz found new woman and Im leaving'.
She was ready for children this year and was utterly devoted to him. Turns out hes leaving her for a woman 12yrs older who has two children and has just kicked her husband out of the marital home to make room for him.
What can you say to that? What can I say to her? Believe me she could walk into a bar tonight and have a choice if she wanted but she isn't looking for that advice I guess.
Why are men such utter ****tard bastards sometimes?
NEITHER are cyclists so they shall remain nameless. Of course unless he goes online looking under ****ers who are big losers.
take her in, this is your chance to build the cult you've always dreamed of!!
[i]Why are men such utter **** bastards sometimes?[/i]
Are you a lady? Women can be bastards to you know.
30, svelte. Outgoing. Guess he just wanted someone who he worked with. Wonder how long it'll be before the shine wears off. He sat down his wife yesterday evening and told her EVERYTHING- been seeing this Nurse for 6months at work, her age, how many children, the house she lives in. WTF?
Its almost as though he was really trying to hurt her?
I would imagine that parading her pain and misfortune across an cyclist's internet forum for no readily apparent reason would be a great help.:)
hmmm sounds like you'd best make her wear a burka for the first eight or so years.
[i]Why are men such utter **** bastards sometimes?[/i]
It's an awful situation showing a lack of backbone from the guy involved, but a bit unfair to view this as typical of all men.
Words of advice would be a bit too lightweight given the circumstances, just offer yourself up to talk etc.
I would imagine that parading her pain and misfortune across an cyclist's internet forum for no readily apparent reason would be a great help.:)
I'm partly in shock. Known her on daily basis for 5yrs. I read the first two lines of the text and thought it was a joke. Reread and read the end and just felt numb. MrNutt, I'd offer my services but I think she deserves better 😆
Correct me if Im wrong but every nutjob, flaky or flip-flop girl I've met tend to offer up warning signs from the start and partly throughout. This lad was Joe-normal right up until Friday pm. He even had a new kitchen and the spare bedroom fitted out at his insistence 'ready' for a new arrival.
She has a couple of options.
One is to sit and dwell about what she wasn't doing right in the relationship and how it's all her fault
The other is to go out get trashed (several times) have a few one night stands, realise they are bollocks, wallow in self pity, then hate men forever.
Or see it as awakening that something wasn't right and that it's better to know now rather than another 5 years down the line.
Will she take him back if he comes back tail between though?
[i]Its almost as though he was really trying to hurt her?[/i]
Why? Do you mean by explaining exactly why he was leaving, would it have been better if he lied?
I wouldn't imagine you know the full story of their relationship so maybe best to be not quite so judgemental.
Will she take him back if he comes back tail between though?
I said that. I said what if he has been an impetuous-fool, wakes up and thinks 'what have I done'? She said "No way". Trust is key to her.
Gary_M - I know this girl as a good friend. We worked together for 5yrs and I even cracked a joke recently saying 'watch him with Nurses at work when he works nightshifts'. I regretted that comment as she said 'yes you were right when you said that' (talk about punching myself in the side of the head).
What I find even more shocking is that he used the abbreviation "soz" and then "Im" instead of "I'm". If you're going to dump someone by text, at least have the decency to use proper grammar.
Aye he should commit Sepukku. Hang on. When did Fatherhood turn me into a woman-sympathiser? I should be offering my carnal services to her. Heres my card 'hora, if you must wash that man out of your life I am the human version of Clitbang'. I should offer her some sexual semtex.. 😉 😆
crappy, all you can do is be her mate, and for goodness sake don't come on to her
blokes may be shallow, but we tend not to just **** off with someone else to start a new relationship unless there are deep seated problems with a current one. (one night stands are a different issue) On the whole that involves far to much effort and planning and we are inherently lazy gits.
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Better now than in 5, 10 or 20 years.
Just has to watch she doesn't pick a bloke who is just the same. Or take him back.
hora- would you be as sympathetic if she was a complete swampdonkeymoose or are you just grooming her?
I was joking. Yes, better now before she has children. At least have them wth someone worthwhile.
and how's this different from the way women treat men?
The only "rule" is don't give advice - men do have a habit of thinking advice is the best thing to give - it osn't. Just give your support and empathy. Much more useful.
and how's this different from the way women treat men?
hora's not trying to get into a blokes knickers 😉
Hora.
Why not get her out biking?
My mate had a girl who he was head over heels for, she left and he was gutted. So I bought him a decent bike of ebay and he threw himself at it just to forget.
After 6 months he's a very good rider and agrees with what I've been telling him all along.
Get a ride that likes it the way you do, when you do and can be sorted out easily when it gets stroppy 😆
Give her something to take her mind off it, we all know why we love to ride?
Once we're out there, we're free!
+1 allthegear (it's hard not to do it though).
Something similar happened to a friend of mine, but with the genders reversed.
Married for ten years, he was thinking about kids, she one day said she was leaving.
At the time it was quite a bombshell.
But five years later he's married to the nicest woman you could imagine, with a couple of children, and bizarrely seems to still be on speaking terms with his ex wife.
Just do what you would always do with a mate...Hang out, have fun, joke, dance drink...whatever a mate needs...
When she wants to talk about it and have a shoulder to cry on, do it...
When she wants to forget about it and go out and get smashed, do that too...x
Ha, its not just Men, my ex left me for another man, so it works both ways
If she's as nice as you say and he walked for an older woman then she must be a crap shag. Stay away in case she starts wanting to get involved with you. You don't want to be lumbered with a used goods crap shag. Give her my email address as I am a great counsellor and maybe I can cure her issues. Tell her to put some revealing pics and bank account details in the email though otherwise it might not get through my aggressive SPAM filtering.
hora- would you be as sympathetic if she was a complete swampdonkeymoose
Is that anything like a kangorillapig?
Is that anything like a kangorillapig?
How does that compare to a Hippocrocadillopig?
Why not get her out biking?
Actually a good idea.
Borrow a bike for her and head up to Skipton tomorrow for Wharfedale's ride! Or just go for a good long hike, walking's excellent for sorting out your mind.
Just be there for her. Offer her your ear and your shoulder (for listening and crying). If she was thinking about kids then its gonna be hard for her, for a while.
Try and get her out and about doing something (like riding, but if she doesn't like riding something else) to take her mind off it, at least for a short period of time to make sure things don't go wrong with alcohol and worse.
and worse.
I used to wind her up that maybe she should wear a Burka. He was her world FFS and thats what worries me alittle.
On a sidenote- I'm maybe thinking too much into this but he has longterm health concerns (Diabetes/has a machine fitted, digestive problems and was given a potentially bleak future prognosis). Did he have a crisis that came to a head?
Nail to the head board to seedy man 👿
a woman 12yrs older who has two children and has just kicked her husband out of the marital home
Why are men such utter **** bastards sometimes?
Aye. Good point.
If you want to offer practical help she will be needing somebody to take her bins out for her now. Does she have female friends ? Step aside and let them get on with the rituals.
but don't try and shag her.
You start a thread with one title and then don't actually state in what way you want to help.
What's it got to do with you? What is your involvement in the relationship? Has she come to you for help? Or are you trying to take over and solve, what you percieve, are her problems without her asking? If so that's just creepy.
Sometimes it's best to say 'I feel for you. If there's anything I can do then let me know.' and step back.
As for the ex not having a backbone, staying in the relationship would have been the spineless thing to do. As said above, better now than 5, 10-years down the line. Life, the world and people change. Great if you truely find someone to spend 80-years with that will change and grow as you do (as you will with them too). Most of the time that doesn't happen though.
What's it got to do with you? What is your involvement in the relationship? Has she come to you for help? Or are you trying to take over and solve, what you percieve, are her problems without her asking? If so that's just creepy.
Yes she has come to me for help but I do agree with your statement as a whole. I think its easy to slip into the over-mithering out of concern and need to be (over) supportive. It could end up being counter-productive and suffocating if a few people are doing this.
Yep, following on from the above. Let this happen.Does she have female friends ? Step aside and let them get on with the rituals.
As for the ex not having a backbone, staying in the relationship would have been the spineless thing to do.
Totally and utterly agree. However why the need to give her 'Im moving in with someone else and every minute bit of detail'? Theres cruel and theres callous. If he had any semblance of caring left he would have tempered what he told her. It seems to me as though he'd fallen for someone new, head over heels and damned to anyone else. Hence he didn't give a second thought to someone elses emotions.
Shes a close friend by the way. Hence me discussing this to get the shock out of me as well. One of those friends you hold up as an example of how your better friends live and how one should strive to be more like.
The thing with ending what was a commited relationship is that you very, very rarely can do it without causing pain. It's easy to disect his actions after the fact. He may well have thought and cared enough for her that she deserved total honesty. I bet if he had said 'I'm off, don't love you anymore, welcome to dumpsville - population you' and walked out, then you friend would be even more upset and confused as to where she stands.
Right now they are upset, hurt and probably thinking 'what did I do wrong?. Which is all natural. The important thing is that they move forward - not instantly - with their new life.
If she has come to you for help then do what she [u]asks[/u] you to do but don't become a substitiute.
Women can certainly be as bad.
Go a friend who's mum ran off with his best mate!!! Now that was a shocker.
It's a cliché, but time is a great healer.
That and chick flicks and two litres of Haagen Das.
She was ready for children this year
-Run away from the bomb
woman 12yrs older who has two children and has just kicked her husband out of the marital home
- hide in the crater.
Stormwind - Member
Hora.Why not get her out biking?
My mate had a girl who he was head over heels for, she left and he was gutted. So I bought him a decent bike of ebay and he threw himself at it just to forget.
After 6 months he's a very good rider and agrees with what I've been telling him all along.
Get a ride that likes it the way you do, when you do and can be sorted out easily when it gets stroppy
Give her something to take her mind off it, we all know why we love to ride?
Once we're out there, we're free!
oh this just depresses me. there's more to life than riding bikes.
anyways hora, don't do anything different to how you've been with her in the past, as that's how she knows you and that's how you've always interacted.
Well, in terms of callous detail women are funny like that. For some reason you always went to know the detail. And it's a lot better if the other woman is fatter/uglier/of lower social standing, can't even ride a bike etc. It's petty and no doubt a character flaw but that's how it is. If he hadn't told her all that she would have been torturing herself with wanting to know and complaining about that !! It's how we deal with stuff.
And I agree it takes more guts to end something knowing it will hurt the other person than hang in there spinelessly lying to them. The "ripping off a plaster" approach.
oh this just depresses me. there's more to life than riding bikes
Remember someone posted a autism/test on STW not so long ago? Alot of people on here posted highly or at the least borderline. It really didn't suprise me 😆