[Closed] "girls have problems, boys are problems" - sexual content.

Can't be bothered to read all that!
But I sure must have missed some damn interesting news somewhere if John Major is being called an "old lech"

After 'slutwalk' I thought we could do a 'doshwalk'. We all pin high denomination paper currency to our clothing then walk through a poverty stricken high crime area proclaiming our right to do so without fear of being mugged, or worse, being judged as encouraging crime, or 'bringing it on ourselves'.

Who's in?

Got as far as this at the end of the first paragraph..............

Nonetheless you'll need to search very, very hard to find any positive appraisal of male heterosexuality.

🙄

Hand wringing, guilt ridden, Guradianista bullshit.

I thought we could do a 'doshwalk'

Let me know a time and a start location and I'll see you there.
You won't see me, mind.

Must say I read this yesterday too and agree with the OP - interesting and I agree with a lot of what's said FWIW.

Must say I read this yesterday too and agree with the OP - interesting and I agree with a lot of what's said FWIW.

+1

Didn't take long for someone to say "Guardianista" 🙄

Interesting article if one can see beyond the end of one's nose.

Agreed - good piece.

Didn't take long for someone to say "Guardianista"

Interesting article if one can see beyond the end of one's nose.

sadly,with the guardian, the trajectory of that look usually leads directly into one's own anus. 😉

but in honesty can you really really say that there is any logical substance to the contention that male heterosexuality is inherently negative ? which is what that opening sentence says.

really, i don't think i'm the one that needs to open my eyes at all.

the contention that male heterosexuality is inherently negative

I think you need to read beyond the first sentence as the entire article argues the exact opposite. It is VIEWED as negative, and the article argues that this is wrong and it is NOT negative.

but in honesty can you really really say that there is any logical substance to the contention that male heterosexuality is inherently negative ? which is what that opening sentence says.

Nice phrasing of a question...

really, i don't think i'm the one that needs to open my eyes at all.

If you're happy in that assertion, then so be it. I'm not in the mood for pointless argument today.

I think you need to read beyond the first sentence as the entire article argues the exact opposite. It is VIEWED as negative, and the article argues that this is wrong and it is NOT negative.

in which case, i'll retract everything i've said and actually bother to to read the article 8)

I'm not in the mood for pointless argument today.

hardly arguing dd, just shooting the shit is all.

Read the whole article, and some of the comments...

Strikes a chord, really...

... and echos somewhat with my thread last week about middle aged men -why does it feel so socially wrong for a 40-something male to feel increasingly confident. There is a huge amount of negative social conditioning going on.

I think its an interesting thought provoking article and FWIW I agree with most if not all of it. But thats not the point, the point is to discuss and develope an answer within society, its doing that.

The raging rad fem in me wants to shout CRAP at the top of my voice. A girl who puts it about is still a slut in most peoples eyes, its never like that for a bloke. TBH it does no harm IMO to have blokes question their motives around their sexuality and how that effects the women around them, and if that leads them to think twice before chatting someone up or making unwanted comments, then I'm all for it.

TBH it does no harm IMO to have blokes question their motives around their sexuality and how that effects the women around them, and if that leads them to think twice before chatting someone up or making unwanted comments, then I'm all for it.

Is that what the article is all about though??

I guess different people will read a different message based on their own personal experience. Anyone on the receiving end of unwanted / inappropriate attention will (rightly) take a different view - but to societally extend that presumption to all men has to be flawed, surely??

Part of the problem is becuase men have been portrayed as agressors and instigators for so long that women are "rebelling" against that widely held view. Unfortunately its gone beyond balancing things out, so now men are now viewed as "perverts" when they chat up or admire a nice lady, whereas if a woman does it to a man, she is "empowered" or "expressing her sexuality".
Until the hypocrysy and double standards are sorted, we will continue to be viewed as such.

Part of the problem is becuase men have been portrayed as agressors and instigators for so long that women are "rebelling" against that widely held view. Unfortunately its gone beyond balancing things out, so now men are now viewed as "perverts" when they chat up or admire a nice lady, whereas if a woman does it to a man, she is "empowered" or "expressing her sexuality".
Until the hypocrysy and double standards are sorted, we will continue to be viewed as such.

Yep

A girl who puts it about is still a slut in most peoples eyes, its never like that for a bloke.

Rubbish! I think that depends on the circles one mixes in. Most people I know take a dim view of anyone that openly 'puts it about' regardless of sex. Most people I know wouldn't dream of swapping body fluids with someone they didn't know fairly well. And of course, what one does behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. My private life is just that, I don't advertise who I have and haven't dated. Ladies I mix with do the same. I don't have to boast of my conquests to boost my rating with my buddies or the ladies, and I'm always suspicious of anyone that odes have too..sexuality issues perhaps?

"At the other end of the age range, sexually active older women are now widely eroticised (albeit often with a rather misogynistic undertone) as "cougars" or (forgive me) "Milfs" while their male equivalents are disparaged as dirty old men. "

Interesting article, I think it puts into words quite well something we have all heard, maybe event felt, but not quite put all the elements together. In my opinion (heterosexual) men's sexuality is both demonised and exploited - Sex sells, but the buyers are dirty old perverts! 😕

I always find it a bit odd that there is a multi-million pound sex toy industry which is almost the sole preserve of women but the fact that men like pictures of scantily clad ladies is perverted.
It's such an obvious double standard.

Surely thats a lot to do with exploitation though?

Why? Are women exploited into buying sex toys? If women are exploited into posing, why do legions of WAG's/ celebrities do the lads mag thing? Just because someone is beautiful doesn't mean they can't make money from that, male or female.
Or am I being naieve?

A girl who puts it about is still a slut in most peoples eyes, its never like that for a bloke

It's different. You are often automatically viewed as a macho meat-head only interested in one thing. Next time a woman says 'Oh, men! 🙄 ' spare us a thought.

Being a slut is easy that's why. It's very hard for a bloke to be a slut hence the admiration for any bloke that manages it.

There was an article about male weakmess the other day on the radio, and saying young males where having major crisis moments, about their look, skinny jeans,tight t shirts, a nice rippled chest, just like in the adverts, when you achieve 40 like most of us, those thoughts re just possibly memories,or something wee never achieved.

Go to most industrial or outdoor workplaces and youll see sexist talk is still aloive and will probably never die off, but venture into the office, and its a totally different world, no naked women posters, and no swearing or sexist talk, everything is politically correct behind a desk.

I remember a thread by 'desperategit' where one poster said something along the lines of "women are not turned on by sex toys" I chuckled and wondered what Anne Summers would say to that.

Of all the sex toys sold, how manareae aimed at men?

It seems like transference to me, and it's not men who are the sex crazed perverts they are pictured as.

That's actually a rather good article, I like it. Those who have rubbished it should REALLY go & read it & THEN comment. For once it's not an apologist piece on male sexuality.

A girl who puts it about is still a slut in most peoples eyes, its never like that for a bloke

A key that opens many locks is a master key, whereas a lock that is opened by many keys is just a crappy lock. 😛

Sorry.

That post has the feel of a "thread lock" 🙄

I still have time to edit - tbh though if someone can't find any truth at all in that article then I would suggest they are being pretty sexist themselves, not for the first time either from emsz I might add.

Was in the process of writing a long response on how the whole situation is crap, and why everyone should just modify their behaviour slightly and if we were all a bit more honest etc...

Then realised that was about as pointless as a chocolate teapot as it wouldn't achieve anything.

Women are as bad as men I many cases these days, and it certainly seems more socially acceptable to be that way. But who actually cares? Just the same as most girls out there aren't interested in the lecherous guys, I'm not interested in girls like that either...

i'd be interested in reading your long response to be honest mboy 🙂 some interesting replies on the thread so far, no harm in adding another one!

Go to most industrial or outdoor workplaces and youll see sexist talk is still aloive and will probably never die off, but venture into the office, and its a totally different world, no naked women posters, and no swearing or sexist talk, everything is politically correct behind a desk.

yet another reason to avoid a normal, steady job in a heated building.

Two to Tango.

I went to a rock concert last night. Two bands, a Spanish female foursome that played a great set to mild enthusiasm. And a Japanese female foursome that sang at a frequency that made my ears ring so I eventually had to leave. The thing that amused me was the way the sexy Japanese girls had the men clamouring around the stage whereas there was enough space to dance while the more macho Spanish girls were playing.

If you [i]read[/i] the society you live in rather than read the tabloids I think you'll find that males and females get along just fine; the vast majority know the written and unwritten rules of the mating game and find partners to satisfy their needs that they can satisfy at the same time.

i'd be interested in reading your long response to be honest mboy some interesting replies on the thread so far, no harm in adding another one!

LOL

Mainly along the lines of how irrespective of gender, people seen to think getting dressed up and going out on the piss is an excuse to do and behave how they like, to whom they like, especially towards members of the opposite sex. Maybe I'll never understand but from my own personal experiences of mixing with people out and about, we're a nation of people that don't know how to behave with any kind of decorum, that relies heavily on drink and drugs to get over our inhibitions!

But it is the British way, the same as we have a binge drinking culture that wasn't fixed by relaxing pub opening hours, we (girls and guys) are brought up to think it's big/cool/clever to be promiscuous and throw it about... Not saying we should all be angels, but a night out in my local town is enough to make me at 31 and single, cry in despair!!!

Nearly 😉

devils advocate question.... do you honestly think you'd feel that way about promiscuity if you were, lets say... knee deep in clunge?

having been cheated on i hate the thought of promiscuity when in a relationship, however when i was single and (although not being a big drinker) out enjoying myself with other single ladies i didnt have time or enough blood to power my brain or penis at the same time i wasnt complaining!

Never has there been a better time to use "I struggle with long sentences".

Synopsis?

Hahaha

Fair point, but... That's not me. Never wanted to be "knee deep", definitely a one at a time man. Strangely, whilst I used to struggle quite badly at talking to women, about 3 years ago I suddenly started finding a number of girls interested in me, when none had been before. Then I met my now ex GF, fell in love etc... Then we finished, had a couple of quick rebounds etc. Only served to make me feel that it's ultimately hollow and pointless unless with someone you care about!

Not a perfect specimen of a man by any imagination, but have had 2 straight up offers (one girl drunk, one not!) in the last few days and have declined both!

actually having read the article and thought about this, it's a bigger bunch of bollocks than i originally thought.

effectively this is a piece that states the bleeding obvious. male sexuality is something that shouldn't be automatically rendered negative ? who'd have thought it ?

however, this is obviously something that needs to be done in order for your guardianista to get through his lartay fuelled day knowing that you can actually be a white, heterosexual, middle class, comfortable, male and not automatically be a murderous, pillaging, famine causing donkey raper.

although obviously, crippling amounts of guilt will still have to be borne.

😉

^^ brilliant....

i know someone who fits that picture to a 'T'.

TM - leave it out with the anti guardian stuff. They're all far more intelligent than you, so they know not to rise to it 🙂

TM - leave it out with the anti guardian stuff. They're all far more intelligent than you

don't say that. it'll only cause more hand wringing guilt. 😉

Lol, 'I got completely the wrong end of the stick, but I was still right' 😆

If you read the society you live in rather than read the tabloids I think you'll find that males and females get along just fine; the vast majority know the written and unwritten rules of the mating game and find partners to satisfy their needs that they can satisfy at the same time.

Very true (although not stridently convinced on 'majority').

Lol, 'I got completely the wrong end of the stick, but I was still right'

i'll level with you, i did get it wrong. at first i thought it was agreeing with the contention that

you'll need to search very, very hard to find any positive appraisal of male heterosexuality

which is of course ridiculous. how can male heterosexuality be inherently negative ?

but, on broadening my horizons (actually reading beyond the first paragraph 😳 ), i discover that the whole piece is telling Mr V Concerned of Islington that he shouldn't worry because male heterosexuality shouldn't be seen as inherently negative.

the fact that this needs spelling out to anyone is even more riduclous.

so yeah, you're right, i'm right, even when i'm wrong. 😀

Nope you still don't get it TM, try reading it again.

the fact that this needs spelling out to anyone is even more riduclous.

It needs spelling out to some women, that's for sure.

Nope you still don't get it TM, try reading it again.

i think i understand it just fine.............

If we can begin to openly and joyously celebrate the positives to male sexuality, it might become easier for men to be happy and confident sexual partners, and in turn become better lovers, and sometimes better people.

does any of that really need saying ? ^^^^^^

thought not, but then again you'd probably need to be free of these hang ups in the first place to 'get it'.

Do we think Mboy will be in any state to post again in the next few days having spurned two women in the last couple of days?

One of the major problems with discussing anything to with sex is that many men, and some women, are of the opinion that 'sex' is something men 'do' to women. Others of us feel that sex is like playing a musical instrument. You can get a decent solo tune by yourself, which is nice, but a duet in perfect harmony can be so much better. Taking the analogy even further, a few of us feel that a duet with someone who plays off key is actually rather less fun than playing solo, so we pick our duet partners with some degree of care.

Do we think Mboy will be in any state to post again in the next few days having spurned two women in the last couple of days?

Sorry, just finished unsticking all the keys on my keyboard.

Anyway, you were saying?

😉

Nope you still don't get it TM, try reading it again.

the fact that this needs spelling out to anyone is even more riduclous.

It needs spelling out to some women, that's for sure.

does any of that really need saying ? thought not, but then again you'd probably need to be free of these hang ups in the first place to 'get it'.

Depends on who you think the article is aimed at. If it's only for the bleeding hearts and artisits, TM might be right...

For those of us who consider it to be an interesting piece for wider society - then there is some thought provoking and topical content, which reflects many peoples' thinking...

Stepping aside from the "direct" arena of dating / sex, and consider workplace interactions....

...If a female colleague makes big, round, appealing eyes at a male colleague (either because she actually likes him, or wants to use body language to get her own way...), the male is very unlikely to complain, and if he did complain, would be even more unlikely to be taken seriously.

... On the other hand, if he was gazing longingly into a female colleague's eyes, I'd be pretty sure that sooner or later he'd be branded a creep, be on the receiving end of a complaint - and the complaint would certainly be taken seriously.

To me that is one of the things the article is about - the suppression of normality - for one gender only

i like that explanation rkk01!