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doesn’t feel male/masculine

Which is where we require further definitions. What is it to feel male and/or masculine?


 
Posted : 25/02/2020 8:49 pm
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Which is where we require further definitions. What is it to feel male and/or masculine?

Are you looking for something more specific than an indifference to soft-furnishings? 🙂


 
Posted : 25/02/2020 9:07 pm
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 What is it to feel male and/or masculine?

We argue about the sizes of a wheel on a bicycle, and pyjamas.

I'm not sure we're best placed to answer.


 
Posted : 25/02/2020 9:09 pm
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You have wheels on your pyjamas?


 
Posted : 25/02/2020 9:21 pm
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All about the slats.

All that hoofing it around town...

Can anybody explain the difference to me between a ‘bloke in a dress’ and a transwoman who has chosen not to have any surgery?

I guess one simple way of looking at it is that there are some males who wear dresses, while still being male in all other ways, while a trans person will appear as much as possible as female. And I know that is probably being too simplistic, but it’s sometimes easier to parse the concept than it is to really explain, which is where things can get a little heated!
Not really certain, but I think the former are much less common, but tbh it’s not something I’ve ever given much thought to, being more than happy for people to go about their lives being who or what they want to be.


 
Posted : 25/02/2020 10:16 pm
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?


 
Posted : 25/02/2020 10:19 pm
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 a trans person will appear as much as possible as female

What does "female" look like?


 
Posted : 25/02/2020 10:23 pm
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What does “female” look like?

Using a biological definition of the female sex describing the process of sexual reproduction...
...I expect archeologists, pathologists, medics etc. will be able to ascertain the sex of an adult individual 99.99% of the time in seconds. Bone structure eg. plevis, elbows and hips.

Assuming you mean something more like 'femininity', this has varied with age, through the ages, across geographies, cultures, ethnicities, religions an so on.

Paul


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 10:08 am
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I expect archeologists, ...... will be able to ascertain the sex of an adult individual 99.99% of the time in seconds.

Things may have moved on in the past 25 years but it used to be actually quite hard to quickly ascertain sex in the context of an archaeological grave. A lot of older excavation reports simpley assigned sex on the base of grave goods - e.g. if you were buried with a beads you were a woman, if with a spear you were a bloke. Where they had the time and money to do more detailed investigations, this assumption sometimes turned out to be wrong.

There was quiet a famous case of an anglo-saxon woman buried near Andover who turned out to be a "bloke wearing a dress".

Which brings us back to the whole (social) gender debate thing.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 10:46 am
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simpley assigned sex on the base of grave goods

I was writing about 'bodies' not graves. I do seem to remember a case where a Viking individual was deemed male based upon grave goods however, when the body was examined was female...


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 10:58 am
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Things may have moved on in the past 25 years but it used to be actually quite hard to quickly ascertain sex in the context of an archaeological grave.

My understanding was that this was fairly easy, based on bone size/density and shape of pelvis? I could be wrong I am not an archeologist or doctor.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:05 am
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I do and i’m pretty sure she’s back under a new login but is, thus far, playing nicely with others.

It wasn’t so much stalking as twitter-abusing and it was more of a race thing than a gender thing that kicked it off

Oh, her. Yeah, that was a race issue. She took something I (foolishly) said completely out of context - I said something intentionally offensive to try and hold up a mirror to how offensive someone else was being - then she apologised to me privately via PM when I finally got it into her skull that she'd misread / misunderstood it, then persisted with her public smear campaign over on Twitter anyway.

which is evidently why one of the more “popular” members is allowed to refer to trans folk as ”Blokes in dresses”. This forum never fails to live down to expectations.

OK. Point the First, I hadn't seen that comment, just because it exists doesn't imply approval. I don't think I've read a single post in that particular thread even, certainly not for a while anyway. This is why the "Report post" link exists, in the time it took you to try and make a sensational post you could've done something about it instead.

Point the Second, it's pretty clear to me that comment was a joke that you've taken out of context. But if you disagree with me then see Point the First and it'll be reviewed by the moderation team rather than just me.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:06 am
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(And Point the Third, Eddie Izzard refers to himself as a "bloke in a dress" - he's TV rather than TG.)


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:07 am
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My understanding was that this was fairly easy, based on bone size/density and shape of pelvis?

I only did archaeology to Masters level, and it was over 25 years ago, but sexing skeletal remains was a lot harder than they made it look on the telly. Things may have moved on since then

The point being it was often quicker and easier to assign biological sex on the basis of what someone was buried with, which meant making a lot of assumptions about gender identity. eg. If you were buried in a dress you must be a biological woman.

I just though it was interesting in the context of modern debates about gender and identity.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:16 am
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My grandparents were all a bit racist, not bad people, they just couldn't keep up with change

My parents are a bit homophobic, not bad people, they just didn't keep up with change

My kids roll their eyes at me when I cannot understand the different combinations of gender, identification or implication on sexuality. I do not struggle to accept it or judge anyone, I just don't understand it very well. For my kids though, it is all perfectly normal, everyday stuff.

I guess what I am saying is that every generation has to learn about changing culture and, generally speaking, we can trust the younger generation to work it out well.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:19 am
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My kids roll their eyes at me when I cannot understand the different combinations of gender, identification or implication on sexuality. I do not struggle to accept it or judge anyone, I just don’t understand it very well. For my kids though, it is all perfectly normal, everyday stuff.

I guess what I am saying is that every generation has to learn about changing culture and, generally speaking, we can trust the younger generation to work it out well.

Exactly. Unless you know you're right and want to get that into others' skulls.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:40 am
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OK. Point the First, I hadn’t seen that comment, just because it exists doesn’t imply approval. I don’t think I’ve read a single post in that particular thread even, certainly not for a while anyway. This is why the “Report post” link exists, in the time it took you to try and make a sensational post you could’ve done something about it instead.

Not wanting to get into a slinging match here but Binners has been scraping that barrel for the last 2 weeks. I also wasn't implying tacit approval amongst mods but a general acceptance amongst the membership of the forum as a whole.

Point the Second, it’s pretty clear to me that comment was a joke that you’ve taken out of context.

It's clear you haven't read it properly. Unless you think banging on about "blokes in dresses" in the context of trans rights and protections is amusing. Go back to page 34 on that thread if you want full context.

I just find it rather distasteful that whilst I've been banned for calling someone a c word and upsetting Mark for having an opinion about STW (filed as abuse of STW staff) someone can openly flaunt very clear forum rules, not to mention the limits of Rule 1 with barely a whimper. And again remember that a member who was a lot more respectful than either of us was hounded off of here by people like GeeTee and, latterly, Binners who gave zero ****s about their feelings or any sort of decency.

I'm not saying it's a simple case of just changing views but the utter lack of compassion given to the argument is disgusting.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:41 am
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we can just [trust?] the younger generation to work it out well

Can we? I hesitate to get involved in these things as people often seem to misunderstand something that I think is clear (see the example Cougar gave a couple of posts ago), but here goes.

The UK attitudes to race are undoubtably better than they were a few generations ago. Casual, overt racism was common - expected even - in a way I rarely experience now. More importantly it is challenged now, whereas when I was a kid it never was.
However, PoC still have worse unemployment, are paid less, have lower work positions whatever qualifications they earn, are arrested far more, are more likely to be attacked in the street, have lower life expectancy, have more problems accessing state services and aid, etc. We are much better at policing language but still have huge problems in other areas.At some point academics seemed to take over (colonise?) the racism debate and it moved from practical matters to theoretical.

In my limited experience the trans debate seems to be going the same way: there's a lot of talk about what language is appropriate but seems little about helping trans people lead good, fulfilling lives.

Clearly the two are linked, but I reckon we worry too much about a veneer of equality without bothering about structural, practical stuff such as access to health services or employment opportunities. Trans issues are more like race issues here, as it is not necessarily immediately obvious that someone is LGB, whereas it is usually noticeable if someone is a PoC or trans.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:42 am
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squirrelking

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No, I’d say it’s a matter of respect.

I think that is glossing over the problem a little bit.

Some trans people assert that e.g. transwomen are women, and that "some women have penises". Some think that biological women that are lesbians must consider transwomen with penises as partners (see: "cotton ceiling").

To disagree with those statements is fundamentally offensive to the people making them, because to deny them, is to deny their identity.

Some women assert that only biological "cis" women are women, and that if you have a penis, you are absolutely and fundamentally not a true woman. In their opinion trans people can be a transwoman but never a "woman".

To disagree with those statements is fundamentally offensive to the people making them, because to deny them is to deny their identity.

The point I'm trying and probably failing to make is even trying to be 100% respectful, is still likely to cause offence on one or other side of the argument because it regards such deeply seated beliefs that are integral to somebody's sense of self.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:45 am
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At some point academics seemed to take over (colonise?) the racism debate and it moved from practical matters to theoretical.

Academics did the research that helped to identify all the ongoing problems you remind us of, it is journalists and people seeking to make money or gain political advantage that focus on the PC/nonPC side of things.

I’m not going near the main point of this thread though, people in general are no where near ready to accept trans people (sadly), and are being manipulated by nefarious actors as well as showing support for those with genuine fears about (rare but very real) dangerous people.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:53 am
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I also wasn’t implying tacit approval amongst mods but a general acceptance amongst the membership of the forum as a whole.

Well, it's not.

It’s clear you haven’t read it properly. Unless you think banging on about “blokes in dresses” in the context of trans rights is amusing. Go back to page 34 on that thread if you want full context.

I read the post you referred to. The thread was about Labour leadership, you made no mention of previous pages or context and I'm not telepathic. I'll review it in a bit when I get chance.

GT was banned for his conduct. In retrospect, That thread should've resulted in a few more hammers than it did. But here we are.

I've said this before though, it's a very fine line between maintaining decorum and outright censorship. I'd love to delete posts from anyone whose views I disagreed with, but the forum would be a worse place for it if I did. Effective, fair moderation is difficult. I see posts from some people complaining that we don't moderate enough and others complaining that we're too draconian (if you'll pardon the pun), so this makes me think / hope that we're somewhere in the right ballpark.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:55 am
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I expect archeologists, pathologists, medics etc. will be able to ascertain the sex of an adult individual 99.99% of the time in seconds. Bone structure eg. plevis, elbows and hips.

No, you can identify certain gender dimorphic traits, but AIUI none of them can definitively point to a biological sex because the individual could be inter-sex in a variety of obvious and not obvious ways. They could have female (or even neutral) physical characteristics and a Y chromosome for instance.

Anyway, we have a long way to go in the UK but at least many of us are making an effort. We don't burn effigies of gay men in the street, for example, and I suspect if someone tried it would be frowned upon quite severely.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 11:57 am
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The point I’m trying and probably failing to make is even trying to be 100% respectful, is still likely to cause offence on one or other side of the argument because it regards such deeply seated beliefs that are integral to somebody’s sense of self.

I think the loophole here is that not all opinions and beliefs are equally valid. Would you defend a racist's right to be racist, lest you offend them?

I guess a better rule of thumb might be, if you feel the need to stick your oar in about someone who's different from you, you might want to consider winding your neck in and getting a hobby. That should about cover it off. (-:


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:00 pm
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I just find it rather distasteful that whilst I’ve been banned for calling someone a c word and upsetting Mark for having an opinion about STW (filed as abuse of STW staff)

Yeah, I also made the error of having an opinion about STW. It seems that dissent isn't tolerated.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:05 pm
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Mark is very protective of his volunteer moderators, yes.

I would rather suspect that your "having an opinion" may be a cheeky understatement though. I can't imagine that meriting a ban, calling us all ****s on the other hand would likely net you a lengthy one.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:11 pm
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Would you defend a racist’s right to be racist, lest you offend them?

I'd defend a racists right to say racist things, yes. I'm very much of the opinion that it's better to have Nick Griffin on Question Time - where we can all see what an ignorant **** he is - than try to suppress him.

Of course this can backfire, but generally I prefer to get things into the light. I agree that STW might not be the ideal place to do this, and it makes the job of a mod extremely difficult


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:13 pm
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No, you can identify certain gender dimorphic traits, but AIUI none of them can definitively point to a biological sex because the individual could be inter-sex in a variety of obvious and not obvious ways. They could have female (or even neutral) physical characteristics and a Y chromosome for instance.

I did not state all...and was also trying to be specific in the definition of *sex* not gender. I do not conflate the two. This definition copes with issues such as chromosomal variants e.g. XXY (male with two XX chromosomes) and differences in sexual development e.g. athletes competing in womens sports who were thought to be female at birth, and subsequently had male puberty.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:20 pm
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Cougar

I think the loophole here is that not all opinions and beliefs are equally valid. Would you defend a racist’s right to be racist, lest you offend them?

I guess a better rule of thumb might be, if you feel the need to stick your oar in about someone who’s different from you, you might want to consider winding your neck in and getting a hobby. That should about cover it off. (-:

I can't agree there.
So only trans people can discuss these issues? The people on the second link in my post should "wind their neck in and get a hobby"? Their views on the word "woman" are not valid?

eta: i'm talking in the wider context rather than on STW who are of course well within their rights to delete threads/ban people who talk about such things.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:21 pm
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I would rather suspect that your “having an opinion” may be litotes though. I can’t imagine that meriting a ban, calling us all ****s on the other hand would likely net you a lengthy one.

I think you're wrong and the real reason is Mark's over-sensitivity regarding any criticism of how the forum works. I've never abused a moderator and it's instructive that I never received a reply (other than a general reference to forum rules) when I asked for the post or posts that were deemed to be abusive.

Anyway, it's all water under the bridge. It'd probably be better though if it was made clear in the rules that criticism of STW is prohibited, to avoid confusion and to keep people subscribing 😉


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:22 pm
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Well, I've no idea what posts or messages you're referring to either so you may well be right. In my experience though, most often when people complain in public about unfair treatment the truth is somewhat closer to what I just said than is claimed.

So only trans people can discuss these issues?

That isn't what I said. Or at least, isn't what I meant - we're discussing it right now, aren't we?

Rather that if your "opinion" is one which is likely to cause upset to someone different from yourself, perhaps someone for whom that difference has caused them great difficulties in their life, perhaps you could consider that the most positive thing you can bring to the debate is silence. Because, frankly, it's none of your business.

TL;DR - someone else's mental wellbeing trumps your right to run your mouth off. Remember the title of Rachel's thread? "It hurts." Some folk would do well to remember that.

(To avoid any confusion I don't mean "you" personally here, I'm generalising.)


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:45 pm
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I think the loophole here is that not all opinions and beliefs are equally valid.

Fine, so which is the least valid belief in the post you're claiming that about:

Some trans people assert that e.g. transwomen are women, and that “some women have penises”. Some think that biological women that are lesbians must consider transwomen with penises as partners (see: “cotton ceiling”).

To disagree with those statements is fundamentally offensive to the people making them, because to deny them, is to deny their identity.

Some women assert that only biological “cis” women are women, and that if you have a penis, you are absolutely and fundamentally not a true woman. In their opinion trans people can be a transwoman but never a “woman”.

To disagree with those statements is fundamentally offensive to the people making them, because to deny them is to deny their identity.

Cougar seems to me to be biased towards the biologically male but "Psychologically and sociologically" female and against the cis women who are "Psychologically and sociologically" female and biologically female. Perhaps because Cougar is biologically male himself. So I'm gonna guess Cougar thinks the biological males' belief is more 'valid' than the boiological female's. Wonder if he'll suprise me.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:50 pm
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I have kept away from this thread for a number of reasons.

I have learnt from discussions with trans people that I do not know enough to have a strong opinion based on anything other than my own ill informed views

Many folk on here feel / felt able to express views that clearly were not based on anything but ill informed views even when those vies are seen as very hurtful by those they are affecting

People I respect saw my actions on the thread were GT flounced / was banned as bullying - something I do not want to be seen as even tho I saw it as standing up for what I thought was right and expressed forcefully in the face of abhorrent abusive views

Thus what I learnt was that multiplicity of views are out there and the vast majority of them based on ignorance and prejudice and its hard to unpick the two. In the light of my own lack of knowledge its best to attempt to be respectful and to ignore the ignorant and predjudiced


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:51 pm
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I'd like to think I'm not biased against anyone, aside from bigots who deserve being biased against.

I believe people have the fundamental right to be whoever they are without being given grief for it, and I fail to see what business it is of anyone else to dictate to someone whom they should 'consider' dating.

As a biological male, I believe that in the context of discussing gender issues and inequality my "belief" in respect to trans women, or indeed women generally, is worth the square root of **** all next to what they believe.

Does that answer your question?


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:58 pm
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I suppose what I am saying is that given the lack of comprehension among the general population and the ease with which offense is caused than step lightly and listen to those directly affected seems a decent attitude to take


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 12:58 pm
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Well said TJ.

I do not believe that anyone has a divine right not to be offended. To paraphrase Steve Hughes, "boy bands offend me." However, I strongly believe that this does not give someone carte blanche to be offensive. People sometimes hide behind this argument but the latter is not a corollary of the former.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:04 pm
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Does that answer your question?

No. Two views were stated in a post and you claimed in reponse to that post that some beliefs are less valid than others.

I'm asking you which of the two is least less valid.

Here they are again:

Some trans people assert that e.g. transwomen are women, and that “some women have penises”. Some think that biological women that are lesbians must consider transwomen with penises as partners (see: “cotton ceiling”).

To disagree with those statements is fundamentally offensive to the people making them, because to deny them, is to deny their identity.

Some women assert that only biological “cis” women are women, and that if you have a penis, you are absolutely and fundamentally not a true woman. In their opinion trans people can be a transwoman but never a “woman”.

To disagree with those statements is fundamentally offensive to the people making them, because to deny them is to deny their identity.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:12 pm
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I suppose what I am saying is that given the lack of comprehension among the general population and the ease with which offense is caused than step lightly and listen to those directly affected seems a decent attitude to take

Well said TJ.

Not sure how this:

not all opinions and beliefs are equally valid.

is stepping lightly in this specific context.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:15 pm
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Well, I’ve no idea what posts or messages you’re referring to either so you may well be right. In my experience though, most often when people complain in public about unfair treatment the truth is somewhat closer to what I just said than is claimed.

I can't find the relevant thread and the evidence I asked for was never supplied, so you'll have to take my word for it or not!

Anyway, enough of the derailment. One interesting aspect about this debate is that gender and sex are often conflated in public but also in law. In law, there are two ways to become a woman ("sex"). One is to be born female. The second is to obtain a gender reassignment certificate. This does create some problems for which there are no easy answers, for example the housing of prisoners.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:19 pm
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Cougar - another aspect being this place is a private playground and has no need to provide a platform for any view and indeed every right to shut down views that go against corporate values - no matter if I or anyone else agrees.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:26 pm
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Yes, both points are equally valid, as points, topics for discussion.

People once marginalised have found a voice.

You can respond to this with decency, apathy or from a point of ignorance.

Inevitably, we will be judged by our response.
Human nature, innit?


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:35 pm
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Absolutely. We’re on STWs page so we play by their rules. If we don’t like the rules we can go somewhere else, or even start our own page. I’ve only been modded once (I believe), and I thought my comment should have stood, but I don’t think STW or the mods were bang out of order - I understood the reasoning, and it was easy enough to make the same point in a way that was deemed to be ok.

Tl:dr
Other sites are available.


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:40 pm
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I’m asking you which of the two is least less valid.

I think they're both bollocks. But my point was rather that instead of asking me, you'd be better served asking the people they're talking about. What I think is an irrelevance.

I’d defend a racists right to say racist things, yes.

Coincidentally, this just popped up in my Twitter feed. Defensible? Perfectly acceptable "opinion"?

https://twitter.com/a_leesha1/status/1232337436484739075


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:44 pm
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So..... just to recap.... there's actually more to this than an attitude towards soft furnishings?


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 1:51 pm
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We've gone leather.
It's so practical.

https://www.springvaleleather.co.uk


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 2:08 pm
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But how many cushions?


 
Posted : 26/02/2020 2:09 pm
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