You know what I mean. The ones you can't resist! You know its going to have a detrimental effect on your body, and put a self-induced strain on your working relationships, but you just have too!
Baked Beans induced flatulance?
The kebab that seeps from every pore the next day?
Pickled eggs?
I'm voting for these things. Which are ace, but repeat on me for about 3 days afterwards
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It is indeed a bit of an animal. Its presently not good.
*BURP*
I'm operating an exclusion zone š³
Your nominations pleaseā¦.
While I'm eating it, kedgeree. Nothing like a smoked fish and egg curry to offend others noses....
After the event, scrambled eggs make me weep at the smell of my own farts.
You know that cabbage and keema curry they do at This 'n' That?
Gets my bottom bracket grumbling like you would not believe.
It's so bad I've disgusted myself on occasion. š
Had to walk out of the portakabin i was in yesterday after wednesday nights lentil curry made an appearance. Sulphorous.
I once had a night on whisky and a vindaloo, I think I actually glowed in the dark after that
those festering french cheeses that have the same chemical make-up as athlete's foot and smell like a dead tramp in a skip
Anything lentil based.
Mexican food. I love it but no one loves me the next day.
any biryani
Spring Onions š
I bloody Love em' too š š š
Shallots in any type of slow cooked stew
Falafel has a strange affect on me which isn't particularly noxious but the sheer volume of gas involved is quite something.
Jerusalem Artichoke Soup...
Spent nearly an entire afternoon with an almost constant "on-demand" supply of gas on tap....
Ow. I fell of my bike on Sunday and bruised my sides and it blooody hurts from giggling, bastards.
Me? Well pretty much any food in general but especially these
Beans
Eggs
Cabbage
Curry
Mild
Bitter
Real ale often has me turning the air brown the next day. Especially what a mate of mine nicknamed "Theakston's Finest Eggy."
Also, Batchelor's Beanfart.
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Pickled onions. Lovely to eat, but velocitous fragranced emmissions are a given afterwards.
Mind you, Mrs feet moans if I've eaten anything spicier than a cucumber!
Flatulent Thursday followed Beans on Toast and 3 pints of Guinness Wednesday in my office, despite it being quite cold outside I kept the window open most of the day.
[tannoy] [url= http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/ive-just-eaten-a-phal ]Kryton57 to the thread! Kryton57 to the thread![/url] [/tannoy]
Dal Curry
I was on tour a couple of weeks back.
After 2 days we'd eaten:-
baked beans 3 times
Bacon x lots
scrambled eggs x lots
cold meat feast pizza x lots & lots
Then they served us chilli jacket spuds with a side dish of egg mayo...
Every single one of the crew was chuffing absolute vileness. No need to turn the haze machine on - there was a green miasma hanging in the air already.
...and lets not even contemplate the stench in the tourbus the next morning...
Chinese. Apparently.
Slightly esoteric but fill yer boots with salsify for gases you could slice with a knife.
Tinned mackerel/sardines, 20 seconds to eat, burping it for a day.
Durian.
A day on the London Pride and whatever food I choose to eat.
Proper garlic sausage. The kind you can still taste days later, and gives you breath that guarantees a bit of 'personal space' OM NOM NOM
I used to think it was a chilli pickled onions & ale combo until I had what can only be described as 'curried sprouts' on holiday recently.
Quite unearthly results.
Anything and everything.
I suffer from IBS, so when I suffer everyone suffers. I can clear the works canteen, even the engineers, who wouldn't move if the place was on fire. I've also been known to make pious born again christians swear. Proper choice Anglo-Saxonisms to boot.
I had a very nice Thai green curry for lunch, so tonight's night shift are in for some delights. š
[quote=bigblackshed a dit]Anything and everything.
I suffer from IBS, so when I suffer everyone suffers. I can clear the works canteen, even the engineers, who wouldn't move if the place was on fire. I've also been known to make pious born again christians swear. Proper choice Anglo-Saxonisms to boot.
I had a very nice Thai green curry for lunch, so tonight's night shift are in for some delights.
I hate you at the moment, my sides are ******* killing me from giggling
Jerusalem artichokes, as above. I timed the emissions, down to 1 per 90secs.
And black pudding & baked beans. Mrs M went to sleep in the spare bed after that - it was my breath, I think
Pesto and eggs
I usually blame the cat.
I ate a vindaloo by mistake once.
Next day at work I had to step outside the building to prevent the whole building being evacuated due to a severe biohazard.
While I was outside the pigeons were coming close to dropping dead from the sky.
š³
I'm just in the supermarket. Spotted some artichokes.
They can't be that bad can they? I'll report back...
Coffee. I have horses that make less of a stench..
Anything and everything
Real ale, pickled eggs, lentil soup, pretty much most curries... the list is endless tbh.
You know that cabbage and keema curry they do at This 'n' That?
Only place I've been that puts cabbage in curry. It's brilliant.
Actually I just fart. No specific food requirement.
This for flatulance ... š
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This for burping ... š
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Make sure you are in close proximity of people or in a lift.
Sage and onion stuffing, creates gasses that smell exactly like sage and onion stuffing. I once did a stuffing fart at work, a colleague said "can anyone smell Paxo?". They were sick in their mouth when I told them it was an "air Paxo".
*high fives fellow ibs sufferer*
It may sound funny to you all but it's true š literally anything can set it off.
What causes the worst smelling farts for me has to be any real ale with ginger in. Enville ale always makes my stomach and farts bad, but Enville's Ginger Tom?! I am a walking bio hazard. Blanford Flyer isn't great either
My wife..
She had her gall bladder removed 2 years ago and if she eats anything containing even the smallest amount of fat, I run for my NBC suit.
She bloody loves cheese.
š
Quorn : within 1 hour of eating it, the gas started and it just kept coming. Unfortunately, it also smelled like something had died in my lower intestine .....never eaten it since but it did have potential as a bilogical weapon.
I have no sense of smell, but I'm reliably informed that a combination of chilli-based foodstuffs and wheat beer results in unusually large volumes of noxious gas emerging from my nether regions.
Theres a very dark brown (and quite opaque) gravy that some chip shops serve - almost looks like paint. I'm not sure whats in the recipe for that gravy that isn't in any others but I'm beginning to suspect the secret ingredient is 'very bad news'.
Lentils do it for me. Or a roast dinner. The kind of fart that has the paint peeling off the walls.
I once farted at work and it was dense and strong enough to travel to the front of the room where the producer asked "whos eating egg sandwiches?" - probably one of my proudest moments š
Apparently I also have IBS which can be a challenge.
However, any curry results in farts which smell like a curry fart should within about 10 mins of eating. Add some dark beer and guaranteed a clean out.
That said, couple of beers last night (light beer), just had a fried egg roll and cup of strong coffee for breakfast and have not yet had any gut rumbles, gas output or a quick sprint to the facility. Today might be a good day....
Going back in time, local pub followed by a visit to the local chipper where such delights as a King Rib supper were consumed resulted in the most toxic odour I have known. You know things are bad when you cannot tolerate your own gas.....
Wonder if they still sell King Ribs....
has to be parsnips - once made soup with them, very, very wrong
Whey protein powder/shakes set me off, and greek yoghurt sometimes (especially if on an empty stomach) makes it smell like a rat has crawled up my arse and died.
Also an odd one but the cinnamon and raisin bun things you get for cheap from Aldi seem to stir something pure evil down there. The result is something to be endured rather than enjoyed.
Wonder if they still sell King Ribs....
They very much do. [b][i]#dirty food[/i][/b]
Scampi fries for burps which clear the local area.
Poached egg. When whether or not it's cooked is debatable?
That.
Salt n Vinegar Hoola Hoops.
I can't go near MrsBouy if eaten.
(I have 356 packets left šÆ )
BA used to do a mushroom sandwich on some flights which if they'd served them on long haul would have resulted in the deployment of the oxygen masks and an emergency detour to the nearest airfield if I'd eaten one
Custard Creams if eaten in any reasonable quantity.
As in more than two.
I can't leave a packet unfinished.
They're properly stinky.
And usually silent to deploy.
I sometimes work in a windowless office š
Curry last night and apparently I was disgusting this morning. I reckon it was the Dhal.
Whatever the cat's been eating today. Definitely.
Jesus Christ.
*Searches for vomit emoticon. And a gas mask*
A ready meal jalfrezi, 3 pints of Doom Bar, 3 pints of Perfect 5, I was ready to disown myself this morning. š
Possibly overdid the pork scratchings and Scampie Fries in the pub as well. š
Just breathing makes my farts smell of death.
Though real ale, curries and bacon don't help either. š
Ever tried those pickled whole garlic cloves? Other half and I got a bit addicted to them in Barcelona. Our farts could have vapourised the cast of 'Twilight'.
š
Well, artichokes have been consumed, were combined with a day out on the lager, so given every opportunity to shine, but alas, no rooms were cleared, no screams of horror or hazmat suits deployed.
I am disappoint.
Was drinking yesterday afternoon/last night and we ended up getting a maryland chicken before heading back to the hotel. I was not pleasant to be around this morning š
a litre of chocolate milk, sculled straight after a ride.
Parp!