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The inverse snobbery on here is fantastic!
Ans never be the drunkest on the table.
We had a free bar at ours and a complementary bottle of grappa on the hockey team tables. Holy crap, some people were wasted before the band even arrived. All got very, very messy.
We didn't care in the slightest what anyone wore...
You lot have some weird friends with weird expectations.
Fact: no-one is looking at you, they're looking at the two up front. Dress smartly, that's it.
Unwritten rules about taking off your jacket before the groom? Get in the sea, it's not the 1800s.
Phew, I thought it was just me! Luckily any weddings I’ve been to recently have been pretty relaxed affairs and AFAIK no one has cared what I’ve been wearing or at what point I took my jacket off and loosened my tie (assuming I was actually wearing one).
oh yes - I've been to a wedding where a big point was made by the bride that the groom's party should keep their jackets on until a specific point in the day.
The only other thing like that that I'm vaguely aware of is ladies are not supposed to take their hats off before the mother of the bride.... or something? I remember someones mum getting annoyed about it at a wedding I went to years ago.
Both of these things felt ridiculous at the time (because they were)
I can only envision one more event in my life that I will ever wear a suit.
After that you'll have to put up with me being smart casual.
I could often be found at my desk at work with a hat on, hood up and headphones over hood.
Doesn't the ruin the sound quality?
I can only envision one more event in my life that I will ever wear a suit.
Good point, maybe deserving of a different thread, but why exactly do you need to be dressed smartly to be buried or cremated? I mean, it can't be so you look good meeting your divine maker, who has been watching you scratch your balls in your stained underpants for the last few decades?
Kilt, (source of the expression 'the full 9 yards' btw- cheaper kilts have only 7 or 8) heavy Jacobite unbleached linen shirt, leather bootlace keeping the neckline moderately decent; with dark wool doublet/ sleeveless jacket over. Belt with pewter or chrome buckle. Choice of sporrans; for casual, being leather or furry & chrome for more dressy weddings. Lace up brogues, heavy wool hose, flashes and of course, a proper sgian dubh.
Doublet stays on until it's too hot.
Flask in the sporran, with something relevant and potent.
Doesn’t the ruin the sound quality?
Not really... well not for me any way. Im sure some audiophiles would be horrified but I got decent headphones so it sounds ok. Most of the time its done simply because my hood wont fit over my headphones.
Kilt, (source of the expression ‘the full 9 yards’ btw- cheaper kilts have only 7 or 8)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_whole_nine_yards
WTF is a wedding breakfast? Can’t believe I’ve got to 57 years old and never heard of one before. Is it a new thing?
WTF is a wedding breakfast?
Traditionally, weddings are a Eucharist mass and so the bride and groom would have fasted so that they can receive communion after the service. So the traditional meal would have literally been a break-fast.
Given that no-one has mentioned hats on the thread so far, I think it's safe to assume that no one understands formal attire at all.
source of the expression ‘the full 9 yards’ btw
I've also heard that it refers to firing all the rounds from a P51 (or other USAAF fighters) in one go, as the length of the linked ammunition comes to a total of nine yards . i.e. "I gave that 109 the whole nine yards"
heavy Jacobite unbleached linen shirt, leather bootlace keeping the neckline moderately decent; with dark wool doublet/ sleeveless jacket...
Isn't there a rule that you shouldn't wear an outfit that's more flamboyant than the bride?
Jacket stays on until the groom removes his.
I'm another one that has never heard this rule. And I do try to dress up and everything. And I've probably been to 30 or 40 weddings.
Where does it come from? Is it specific to weddings, or would people have come across it at some other occasion?
Isn’t there a rule that you shouldn’t wear an outfit that’s more flamboyant than the bride?
Don’t yuck his yum
From my (very) limited experience of dining with the RAF, the invitation to relax dress (take off jackets if desired) comes from the commanding officer in the speeches. I may be wrong here, but I believe it's the host's responsibility and choice; for for your average wedding that would be the father of the bride #1800s.
There's also not eating until the top table start, never leaving your seat during the meal (chair and cutlery etc will disappear!), passing the port and other such antiquated shite. It's nice to know how one should behave, even when one can't be arsed doing so. #prettywoman
nick - if properly formal, men's hat would be a topper to go with the morning coat if before 6pm or dress coat if after 6pm; colour of bow tie also changes - before 6pm a slight dash of colour is allowed but must be white with dress coat.
No patterned weskit if formal wear.
If semi-formal or lounge suit, hat not required; optional for older generation.
Hats for ladies - obligatory; anything from fascinator through to full-on mother of bride creations.
Having straightened that out, now off to press my socks! Not a euphemism...
if properly formal, men’s hat
Unless your in Scotland and wearing a kilt.....
Except of course you are serving or retired military.
thats some pretty peak male fragility if someone taking off a jacket before you offends you
Just saw this.
You do know you can be rude without offending someone. If your comfortable being rude that's on you. Not me.
Some people are rude just by existing...
I've also discovered, since starting this thread, that if you are wearing braces, you most certainly should not remove your jacket as you are effectively showing your underwear.
GF and I went to a wedding a few weeks back.
Waiting outside the registry place some of the locals assumed that we were the bride and groom as we were the best dressed.
The GF wore a blue linen dress and a blue linen jacket with a black t-shirt, jeans and some nice clean trainers. I didn't think we were dressed up.... until we saw the other guests.
Kilt, (source of the expression ‘the full 9 yards’ btw- cheaper kilts have only 7 or 8) heavy Jacobite unbleached linen shirt, leather bootlace keeping the neckline moderately decent; with dark wool doublet/ sleeveless jacket over. Belt with pewter or chrome buckle. Choice of sporrans; for casual, being leather or furry & chrome for more dressy weddings. Lace up brogues, heavy wool hose, flashes and of course, a proper sgian dubh.
Doublet stays on until it’s too hot.
Flask in the sporran, with something relevant and potent
I struggle with the whole doublet/sleeveless jacket thing, all a bit neo Jacobite for me, an improvement on a hired prince Charlie hire outfit certainly but bit casual for a wedding.
I like a kilt outfit that I can wear anywhere without people saying 'what did he come as?' so just plain old dark tweed jacket and waistcoat, a shirt and tie makes it acceptably smart for weddings etc.
Isn’t there a rule that you shouldn’t wear an outfit that’s more flamboyant than the bride?
I went to a wedding once where someone turned up wearing a plaid, looked like he was wrapped in a tartan sofa throw, his girlfriend completed the reenactment look by wearing what looked like a linen sack, I think the rule is you have to be wearing actual clothes.
No1 wedding reception rule - Never get smashed on the strong stuff before eating 😉
Just started planning our own wedding and really couldn't care what people wore. Smart or smart casual would be nice but wouldn't mind if people turned up in jeans and t shirt. The most important thing is they're there.
The GF wore a blue linen dress and a blue linen jacket with a black t-shirt, jeans and some nice clean trainers.
It sounds like a lot of clothing for one woman, but I'm sure she looked fabulous.
It's about time all the formal clothing conventions just died.
Men dressed up like penguins, women getting tutted at for not wearing dresses and hats just feels so Victoria.
I've always respected the dress code as it's the bride and grooms big day but being hot and uncomfortable in a suit and tie really doesn't make me enjoy the day at all.
A couple of years ago I went to a lesbian wedding. The dress code was "wear what makes you happy and be brave!". It was fabulous, no suits, lots of bright colours, lots of flamboyant outfits. Mrs Elbrus and I wore matching 50's style dresses in different colours, so cool and comfortable on a hot day. Only one couple came dressed traditionally (I think he was one of the brides boss). After the ceremony, they disappeared and came back half an hour later. He was wearing her dress and she was just wearing his waistcoat and boxers. I've never seen wedding photos where everyone looks so happy.
After the ceremony, they disappeared and came back half an hour later. He was wearing her dress and she was just wearing his waistcoat and boxers.
Now that's cool
It’s about time all the formal clothing conventions just died.
Well, if folk want to dress up like that they should be able to, and I think it's about one of the very few days that people ought to be happy to oblige. At the same time the wedding is the bride's and groom's, they really do belong to their friends and family on the day, so the least you can do is dress up a bit if they've asked you to.
Oops, seems I have broken most of these 'traditional' dress code rules. I wear a kilt and jacobian shirt (means I get away with not wearing a tie, don't like wearing a noose round my neck) then just a sporran (wear it side saddle when dancing, I'm sure you'll figure out why), big woolly socks and flashes and comfy shoes/hiking boots. Even down south/abroad people seem to accept me wearing my 'skirt', no-one has complained about me yet anyway
Yes, I'm not suggesting turning up in jeans and a jumper if the bride and groom want formal dress.
And I'm certainly not suggesting that if the dress code is informal that men shouldn't wear a suit and tie if that's what they want to wear.
But if you want your guests to enjoy themselves, then allowing them to wear clothes that they find comfortable should maybe be a consideration.
Let's have some pictures of your suit alternatives.
I hate suits.
Just saw this.
You do know you can be rude without offending someone. If your comfortable being rude that’s on you. Not me.
haha, the thought of it being rude to jacket your jacket off before the groom is actually comical. I was not offended or thought people were rude who took their jackets off before me at my wedding.
No1 wedding reception rule – Never get smashed on the strong stuff before eating 😉
This is surely just a rule for life, isn't it? Substitute 'event' for 'eating' and away you go. Like many, I've
'missed' at least one important rugby match by 'peaking too early', and have spent many hours steering drunken friends/relatives around at functions/weddings/gigs/just nights out...
The most important thing is they’re there
Indeed, I'm sure everyone has their own vision of their perfect day but I'd be happier people wore what they felt comfortable in rather than impose rules on them, if I had to have a rule it would be no top hats, wouldn't want Jacob Rees Mogg look alikes in photographs.
haha, the thought of it being rude to jacket your jacket off before the groom is actually comical. I was not offended or thought people were rude who took their jackets off before me at my wedding.
Yeah I've been to tonnes of weddings and certainly was never aware of this "rule" either. Guess I'm on safe ground though as I doubt any of my friends getting married were mentally auditing the room to see who removed their jackets before them so they could be offended.
Kilt, (source of the expression ‘the full 9 yards’ btw- cheaper kilts have only 7 or 8)
Pish and nonsense.
You do know you can be rude without offending someone. If your comfortable being rude that’s on you.
I think on the whole I'd be far more comfortable not sweating bullets for hours for absolutely no practical reason, rather than worrying about being seen as "rude" by some pretentious tosspot for taking my coat off. Who's the groom, Jacob Rees-Mogg?
It’s about time all the formal clothing conventions just died.
This.
Hopefully recent events may prove to at least be a catalyst for change. You're gonna put on a suit for an internal Zoom / Teams call? That's utter madness, you're lucky I'm wearing pants.
I've held for years the conventional 'shirt and tie' office dress is somewhere between inappropriate and outright dangerous for the sort of work I've done over the years. More than once I've almost garrotted myself.
Let’s have some pictures of your suit alternatives.
I hate suits.
And that.
Guess I’m on safe ground though as I doubt any of my friends getting married were mentally auditing the room to see who removed their jackets before them so they could be offended.
And that as well.
I'm unlikely to a) be invited to or b) agree to attend a wedding where Jacket Removal Order was likely to be an issue. I excised anyone likely to demonstrate that degree of narcissistic cockbaggery out of my life years ago.