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the eating thing I found quite easy - my other half works 3 days, she'll pickthem up from pre school / nursery and I get home around 6ish and start cooking - normally something quite small/light, otherwise the other two days dinner is normally ready at 6 when I get home - the one thing we always do though is sit down together to eat - breakfast too...
My daughter (1 1/2) only has a bottle before bed (which sometimes she doesnt actually want), but within the next couple of months she'll lose that - during the day she drinks out of a cup whatever her brother drinks (orange juice all day if it was down to her..).
At the end ofthe day your friend is not spending that much time with his family. Not sure I quite see the point of getting married having kids and then trying to carry on as though theyre not there.. I know a couple who do a similar thing, they spend most of their time planning their next getaway in opposite directions. Not to say you shouldnt do it ocasionally, but these guys are every weekend, I feel a bit strange arranging things to do for all of us!
This is why god invented night riding. Just head out once the kids are in bed. What are the options? Holby City? **** that!!
Like Netdonkey I reckon I didn't ride in daylight for a couple of years. I used to get some serious miles in though. All in darkness
Our routine is similar:
- Up at 6.30ish
- Play with little fella while gulping down scalding tea
- Leave for work at 7 for 75min ish commute including up to an hour's run or ride.
- Home 6.15 for half an hour's playtime
- Bath and bed 6.45-7.30ish
- Dinner 8.15ish
- Bed 10.30ish
He's not yet 2 and is having good naps over lunchtime so I get a 2 hour run/ ride during naptime at weekends if we're home.
Oh and he tends to eat our leftovers from previous night's dinner.
Get yourself a FunPlanner©!
My gf and I started one about 5 years ago. A year planner on excel so we could send it to each other and keep it updated - just upgraded to Googledocs spreadsheet for enhanced version control. 8)
Small benefits are that we can both accept invites from friends and family without saying "I'll have to ask her/him if we're free" and I don't have to keep asking her the same things (when are her exams, when are her work travel dates) again and again and again!
But, most importantly, when you've got the next 6 months in a few boxes on a spreadsheet with all your committments: weddings, family visits, work trips, birthdays, Christmas... you realise that there's on;y a certain amount of free time left, and if you want some Fun, you're going to have to decide when it's going to happen, and get it in there, before something else sneaks in.
And if its a matter of squaring things with the other half, looking at a year view and talking about how to make arrangements for a weekend in 4, 8, 12 weeks is a lot easier than saying "I want to got the Hebrides next weekend" Then you can talk about Planning Fun stuff for her, and Fun stuff for the two of you at the same time. Maybe even write in "bike ride, 8-10pm" every Wednesday and see if she notices...
What are the options? Holby City? **** that!!
Dont knock it, it keeps the other half busy while I am riding/ fixing bikes
I now work part time and my day consists of going to work on Thursday and Friday or dropping the wee one off at School and playing on my bike for a few hours then house work. Oh the stress of it all.!
Get yourself a FunPlanner©!
My gf and I started one about 5 years ago. A year planner on excel...
We use [url= https://www.google.com/calendar/ ]Google Calendar[/url] - well four calendars actually (Me, Her, Both Of Us and "Other Stuff") - set up to sync over-the-air with both our phones so we always have it handy. Trouble is that it is always full 🙂
Reading this is reassuring, it's good to know that not that many people with kids are having too much of a life outside of the family!
We both work full time, I have an hour's commute each way via nursery so leave house before 8 get home at 6. Better half works from home.
Son is 28 months, eats breakfast at nursery, in evenings he eats what we eat, when we eat, has a bath when he looks grubby. bed at 8:30pm, up at 7am.
We are both into biking so once a week we get a baby sitter from nursery (money very well spent as it keeps us sane) and pop out for a couple of hours followed by a quick pint. It helps that the biking is from the front door.
Also, we make use of in laws when they come and visit or vice versa and leave our son with them for a few hours to get out. Plus the odd weekend away either with friends where we share the childcare and take it in turns to go biking or leave son with in laws for the weekend or go separately. I think we manage the balance between home family life and our former life quite well but I think you have to be a bit selfish and decide that you are going to allow yourself time away from the family and not feel guilty about it if you are working full time.
If you can afford it, get a cleaner and do your food shopping on line. Cook 2- 3 times what you need and freeze the rest. Don't do any ironing unless absolutley essential.
We don't watch any telly, don't have time.
Does your mate also surf singletrack forum, or not?
He does occasionally, yes.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm? Now feeling I spend alot of time wasting my time doing nothing.... I've no kids and STILL don't 'do' much. I used to be very busy all the time constantly, full time job, evening job few nights a week and also in a band, hiking and massive social life.... thing was I was escaping from what would happen if I sat still and when I did I realised my marriage was crap & I hated my job(s).
Its great being 'busy' but sometimes people who never stay still are avoiding what will happen if they sit still and contemplate?
Or he could just be making the most of his life instead of wasting it like I do *feels guilty and vows to 'get out more'*
I have 2 year old twins and in the last year I've taken up fell running and made time to do a couple of races (I live in London, so not the most practical pass-time!) that take the whole day out and spend a weekend climbing with a mate. Long hilly training sessions are taking up half a morning every other weekend now, but I get up at 5 and am back by 10.
I offer the same 'time off' parent duty to the Mrs in return. I tend to plan out what I want to do when well in advance and ensure that there is a reciprocal agreement in place for my wife to benefit from.
Got the kids off packing to the grandparents for the weekend in a few weeks whilst we go to the Drunken Duck in the Lakes. Mrs will be off in the spa whilst I'm fell running.
Like most things in life its all in the planning, bet your mate is really good at planning 🙂
Like most things in life its all in the planning, bet your mate is really good at planning
This is true, he is. Whereas I'm great at "having plans" but never quite finding the time to do any of them 😳
Having an extremely understanding/accomodating wife helps, I expect he did quite well in that respect. My commiserations to you.
Try getting insomnia. While I've always slept little, once our son was born I found the slightest noise would wake me up, and has done ever since....16 years later. Which means I get loads more time than everyone else on the planet.... as long as you understand a lot of that time is spent in a zombie-like state just staring at the wall.