[Closed] Family tragedy. I need some help/advice.

I cant offer any advice, but i hope her gets what he deserves. (made me slightly angry)

FFS

The key thing is do they have any written agreement? anything at all on paper to say she leant him this money not gave it to him?

You should be able to trace the guy - there are folk who live in glasgow and there are many ways of tracing him.

You need to go down the legal road but this sort of thing is one of the few times I would be tempted to go down the non legal road - do you not know a bunch of expat poles that look a touch scary? He is probably relying on her having no one over here to trace him.

No one is untraceable but without documentation it will be hard to get the money back legally.

sorry, no idea what can actually be done but that's a shitter mate

does the bloke know you're in the UK ?

are you SURE he's done a RUNNER ?

This is the problem, nothing written down, some text messages but not sure whether anything is mentioned there. Maybe couple of pictures of him but no recorded conversations etc.

I'm trying to follow the legal route first (however a very good friend of mine knows quite a few cage fighters).

It's just so unreal, I tried to get some sleep before work and I thought for a second it was a dream but it's not.

Is there a term in English describing that sort of a scam? I don't know it and it would make it quicker rather than saying the whole story over and over again.

Bollox to legality! Own him with some friends. Time to give it some eastenders scenario, coz family is family!!! Scare the bejesus out of him with some pole friends. I've met a few in derby and there's definately some scary ones out there for sure!!

Paisley is only about 50 miles from Edinburgh. 😕

I have a baseball bat, which maybe of some use.. I would if it was my Mum 👿

Stitched up!!

without documsntation the legal road will be very difficult.

Thats a dreadful story, I don't know how some people live with themselves.

I don't have any advice, other than don't take matters into your own hands, that will only make things worse...

I know what i'd be doing. I wouldnt be getting caught either.

Scaredypants yes he knows I'm in Edinburgh (my brother is here as well). We both study here. I'm a very nice guy but this has got me raging. I'm trying to be sensible to get him to pay for what he's done and for me to not to go to jail. I'm also calming down my brother as he's a bit less friendly than me and used to train boxing and kick-boxing.

Well that is the thing I would like to know whether he is still in Paisley as everything he was telling my mum could be false. I don't have a car and I work during weekends. So if I go over there I will have to ask some mates for a lift. I've got an exam this Wednesday as well. She never visited him as my grandmother needs constant looking after. He always came over ans stayed in our house. It's just shit that something like that happened to my mother who never hurt anyone or did anything wrong.

Shit...sorry to hear that.

Personaly i'm impressed at your resolve, legal is the right route...dunno if i'd have held back if i had an adress.

Hope you get it sorted.

I really think the last thing people on here need to be doing is encouraging the OP into violence, him being arrested is the last thing he, or his mother needs

Understand your feelings entirely. However, today is only the 7th January. Unless I've not read you post correctly, and apologies if I haven't, so far it's just that you haven't been able to get hold of him since New Year. Perhaps at least speak to him, check that nothing untoward has happened to him etc. before everyone goes off on one. After all, you judged him to be a decent guy, and instinct is often right.

Thats shitty Mieszko , Hope things get resolved . Definately worth heading through there for some undercover detective work and once you identify he is still there I'd call in the cage fighters. Good luck .

Oh Mieszko that's awful 🙁 . I don't have any useful advice I'm sorry other than what Warton has said above. Take care.

Is the sweat filter broken along with the tin pot servers?? Warton what would you do then?? The old bill obviously don't give a toss, least you'd do is go for a visit surely!!

No advice I'm afraid but really hope you and your mum get it sorted and the cash back.

I tried to phone him on the mobile today. The number is dead. I tried to phone the landline, no one answers.

My mum did not tell me anything earlier than today as "she did not want to spoil my Christmas" as I proposed to my girlfriend over Christmas. So I have just been told the whole story today. I knew something was on but I was thinking something along the lines of him cheating etc, not scamming her out of money she do not have.

Money is a concern as it is a very big amount, I would not be able to rise that much but as it was borrowed from a friend it will just take much longer to repay. Worst case scenario I'll be selling my bikes etc. But I want justice for him.

My mum is selling the other property and would get the cash to repay. However she just feels terrible as the guy not only cheated her but she won't be giving that much cash to that scumbag to make his life comfortable.

The person:

1. Alive

2. Runner

3. In poor health

4. Seeing another person

5. Involve with underworld. Load sharks etc.

6. Business failure

7. Dead

Except for 7 (dead) you might want to take the following steps:

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1. Take care of your mum first.

2. Assure her that (you need to plan something) her children i.e. you, brother & sister together will be able to repay the money. You have to as she is your mom. Money should not be a problem if all children chip in.

3. Ensure that she has something to live on until matter is solved. i.e. children might need to support her.

4. Check security i.e. tell neighbours etc that the man is no longer welcome if he is really a con man.

5. Change all locks to the house if he has the keys.

6. Install CCTV.

7. Keep assuring your mom and keep talking to ease her fear etc.

8. Report to local police.

9. Keep monitoring bank account etc.

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As for finding the guy.

1. Report to the local police in Paisley to have a record of this person.

2. Track down his address.

3. Track down his associates i.e. friends, members of family etc.

4. Find out his business if he has registered one.

5. Find out his local hang outs.

6. Ask for the police or lawyers advice if you can find the person.

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Approach the person.

1. Careful ... he could be someone dealing with the underworld or is in trouble with people from the underworld.

2. Find out what sort of trouble he is in.

3. Let him know that his action has hurt your mom badly.

4. Ask him how is he going to repay the money.

5. Arrange for some sort of instalment payment (with a proper contract if he is willing).

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Update your mum.

1. Let her know the actions you have taken.

2. Keep a track record of what you have done i.e. a diary.

3. Keep a look out for stranger(s). Phone call etc.

4. Assure her.

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If things turn nasty.

1. Call the police immediately.
2. Explain to the police the situation.
3. Gave them a copy of the diary if further action is needed.

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If the person repays.

1. The decision is your mom or in consultation with the children if the person is worth it.

2. The decision is your mom if she still thinks he is worth it.

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I just hope he is not a professional because if he is then there is nothing you can do. Apart from letting karma catch up on him ...

No matter how much this has upset you, deal with it through the proper channels. Going off on one like Van Damme will only end up with you in trouble & doing time while he spends your mum's money & laughs at you. Get your mum over here to do the report to the police and start the legal processes off.

there was some thing like this on tv just before xmas and i think they manged to send 2-3 men down for just the same thing as it is the "in" think to con women into anyway sorry to here about but i know a close friend that would lend you a nice cross bow as it would be more painful shooting 1 ball at a time with a arrow 😉

We are looking after her and first thing I made sure about was whether she has money for day to day expenses etc. She has the house, all bills are paid for and neighbours look after each other. My mum has a dog as well, it's a huge doberman so she should be safe.

We were brought up in the old way (family values etc) so we all love our mum so if we will have to we will pay that back. Paying back the money is not the biggest concern. I need to know where this guy is and speak to him. My other concern is he only played the soft touch nice guy and could be a real criminal so it could turn nasty.

Like I said I only was told of this today and we are looking into ways of reporting it. My mum already has a plane ticket and we will be visiting Glasgow/Paisley with her.

I'm off to work now and will check back later.

Sorry to hear this mate. Sadly there is probably little that can be done legally.

Good luck - and be careful - Paisley is not such a peace loving town!

Not sure I'd be able to be sensible were I in your shoes.
Trace the guy, keep an eye, try the proper channels. Cage fighters are handy to know but there's always someone better. Always. And not many are bulletproof in real life.
Good luck!

if he lives in paisley but knows you have been to where he lives, he's likely to do a runner. softly softly catchy monkey

mieszko - Member
My other concern is he only played the soft touch nice guy and could be a real criminal so it could turn nasty.

Hence you need to check out his background first before you take further actions as he can:

1. counter by saying you threaten to inflict bodily harm on him.
2. inflict bodily harm on you if he is from the underworld.

3. Take your time but do not rush in without planning.

thegreatape - Member

However, today is only the 7th January. Unless I've not read you post correctly, and apologies if I haven't, so far it's just that you haven't been able to get hold of him since New Year.

My thoughts entirely.......it's only a few days and you are completely convinced that he's done a runner ? 😕

I would have thought that there are a 101 reasons why he might be difficult to contact......lost his mobile and is busy working, got knocked down and is in hospital, etc, etc, etc

Has your mum ever posted anything to him? If so does she know if he recieved it?

I forgot to clarify the timescale. He got the money in October/November and gradually started to limit the contact with my mum. She did not tell us about it until now. I would not panic about that if he would not phone her or text a "love You" message in last 7 days. He is a scammer and I just want justice.

sorry that your mum got conned for £20k. That is alot of cash to loose.
If it were me i would not be going to work but ringing in sick, and going straight to Paisley. If you have an address ask neighbours or landlord if he has been around , before smashing his door in .

Chances are he will have done a runner , and unfortunatly will probably be abroad ,somewhere sunny , spending the cash.

There is the slight chance he will be uncontactable , but thats extreamly slim. dont suppose you have a photo to take to all the local boozers / betting shops/ working mans clubs as thats where he will spend his time.

hardly a "tradgedy"

dirtyrider - Member
hardly a "tradgedy"

Sounds like it could be for these guys, dirtyrider..
Wind your neck in and learn to spell / type.

If you have nothing positive to add, the nicest thing to do would be to keep quiet. I'd be seething if it happened to any of my loved ones.

Good luck with getting it sorted, OP - really hope you do.

OP - Hope you get this sorted out.
If it was me I wouldn't bother with bombers.I'd get the 888's on his sorry arse. 😈

People like this are rarely 'one hit wonders'. He will have previous.

Therefore go the official route.

I suspect trawling round Paisley will be in vain. There is a slim chance that he may be back if he believes there is more money to be had.

Hey meizsko. Sorry to hear of this. Feel bad for you as having dealt with you I know what a thoroughly nice chap you are.
(SKS mudguards for that bargain Hahana...) 🙂

The Police love nothing more than an easy cop, & someone who's not used to roughing folk up, going around all emotional & angry, kicking doors in with a baseball bat is playing right in to their hands.

What about your mum sending him another couple of well worded emails/texts/letters...
Needs to be done carefully, but to try to lure him in with the promise of another pot of easy money waiting for him. Something along the lines of having cashed in a policy, loves & believes in him, children not told of money etc. Someone with a bit of a talent off STW could script something up for you.

A similar thing happened to my Mum years ago. The lad ended up dead in the end (murdered/unconnected).

I really feel for you, think rationally/carefully but if it was me I would confront him (without any intention of violence) otherwise this will eat at you for years.

If you feel violence will help (it may do) remember you could do time which could upset your mother further.

You come across as a very nice bloke on STW- all the best

Although there is obviously a lot of anger, try thinking from another angle and see how lucky you've been...

She still has her home and it doesn't sound like she is going to lose it paying back the £20k loan.
She hasn't lost the entirety of her life savings.
She and other relatives are still with you, which is contrary to what the thread title suggests.

You will all pull through, its just the anger of been done over. Hope you get some justice.

This is £20k!!!

Time is of the essence! visit the address now before its to late!

I know of a sitution in the 90's, someone had £17k cash 'Taken' from them! for 20% a couple of local heads got it back in a matter of hours...

not saying do the above but waiting for the legal route, daydreamers!

ACT NOW!!!

A small update. My mum found a phone number he used to text her by mistake once but than was constantly saying it's not his and someone else had to text her by mistake. He does not answer the phone but the number is not dead. My mum texted him that she will be going to the Police here and in Poland. He texted back that he will phone her. He never mentioned about the money in texts always over the phone. Mum now has a phone with a recorder so will be able to record that phone call.

She started to realise something is wrong in December but was still extra nice to him as she became a hostage of that money. To put things into perspective, she is retired and is on a state pension after 30+ years of work and receives less than £300 a month. So £20k is a tragedy. Again I don't focus on the money as this person took advantage of my mum. how would anyone feel if after 9 years after Your partner died You finally meet someone and trust that person but what ends like this? Devastated? Not trusting anyone? She will probably remain single after that.

As someone else mentioned he might not be a one trick pony and he was probably seeing other women in Poland as well. Using the cash from my mum to fool them into believing he is a hard working but being able to supply for them in the future.

After some time all the lies started not to match up as You can only lie for as long.

There is small hope it will be a go and the guy will pay for what he did.

He will be getting a visit from us this week as well. The address I have is correct as my mum was sending him some medicines there and he was receiving them. I read about some similar stories and there isn't that many involving that big amount of money but what is scary is that the general way the things went is exactly the same. Perfect gentleman, future together, great and safe life, than something apparently happens, either work problems or health problems and that person asks for money. Than is doing a runner. He probably was not expecting to get as much and I think he bit more than he can chew.

Thank You all for support and bombers will go back into the cupboard for another couple of days.

You aren't going there alone, right?

He will be getting a visit from us this week as well.

I still think iDave's "slowly slowly catchy monkey" is the best approach. I fear he may well be spooked by your mum's text message (if indeed, foul play is what's going on) and go to ground.

As he says (I'd be impatient though and visited the guy with a few little helpers to have a chat).
Was it [i]Brainiac[/i] that said golf clubs are better than baseball bats?

Mieszko - you are an intelligent chap so please re-consider going to face this chap.

Should anything go wrong you could (in theory) maybe jeapordise any legal proceedings should you go down that road. Plus he may be a total psycho and come at you like a tramp on chips.

If you think you want to go visit though and need helps behind you then just call Rex. Fagettabout it.
[img] [/img]

No worries chaps I won't be going on my own, my brother will be with me and probably his mate. They are both pretty big and trained boxing for years. HOWEVER we are NOT going there to go all medieval on his ass 😉 It will be a chat only, just to show him that by running back to UK from Poland will not save him from consequences of what he has done. I'm not a violent person and I will follow the official route first.

But seeing the weather will see how the trip there will work out.

There are few things I have to consider, I have an exam I need to pass on Wednesday, I don't have a car so have to rent one or ask for a lift, most mates work during the week etc. I don't want to pull a sickie as I need to pay for rent/bills/food and my savings for a good start with my fiancée will probably have to be used to pay that person off if he does not pay back.

With so many fingers crossed on STW lets hope it turns out ok. I just hate scamers and I hate him. Off to work again.

That's pretty awful.

My sister's friend (very clever, very pretty, quite well off) was taken in by a confidence trickster a couple of years back. The guy took her for about £7Gs IIRC, but he did have lots of previous and did get caught. Not sure if any cash was recovered though 🙁

From everything you've said so far, I would say you're doing everything right thus far - a quiet chat combined with your mum's threat of the polis may do the job if he's not a professional scammer (and if he hasn't already spent all the cash!).

Good luck.

Good luck meiszko.

go all medieval on his ass

Hi Takisawa, mudguards are doing a sterling job on my commuter. Will mail You later.

Now time for an update. Seems the guy was checking his options and he realised he might actually be liable for what he has done, even though there is no written evidence. My mum will be recording his calls as well. He phoned her this morning and was speaking in a very apologetic manner, honey this, my love that. I think my mum is feeling better and more confident now due to the support form us and some good advice on how to play it that was suggested here. He was saying that he was not replying as he was ill at first, than had some problems with his son than he got very upset that she called him a scammer and that is why he was not answering his phone. As my mum now thinks reasonably she did read that right that it's all bullshit. She remembers last time when he did not call her for couple of days and she managed to get a call from his neighbour that he was actually in Poland and not in Wales. When the neighbour passed that my mum was asking for him to his flat mates hey presto a phone call that he was in a hospital as there was an accident on a building site. When she said that You can still call from a hospital he than said he was unconscious. If she would challenge that he would probably come up with some other like being kidnapped by a Yeti or similar.

But going back to today's phone call. Seems he is scared of the prosecution and he said he can't pay it back now but will pay it back as he want's to be with her bla bla bla bla. My mum knows he is a scumbag and would not take him back no matter what but plays along and wants to use his own game of feelings. He was supposed to phone her today again, will need to call her and see if that happened.

So yeah there is progress, but only because he knows that he can be prosecuted and tries to play a nice guy again. We will be going round there on Thursday very early morning but will not approach him, just see what he's up to and where he works. I would love to go there earlier but can't due to my exam.

Another couple of things he said before turned out to be crap.

1. He picked a basement floor flat in a nice place with a great garden so that my grandmother would be able to go and sit in the garden (as it was the plan that my mum would go over there with her). Google street view shows a crap neighbourhood, house is next to a railway line, the garden looks shit and the fence is made out of old wooden pallets. Even my mum laughed when I showed her.

2. He said he's changing cars every now and again, doing them up and selling at a profit. However the neighbour said that he still drives and old white Skoda. Google streetview and hey ho, there is a white old Skoda Felicia parked up the street.

3. He said he is in a building industry, building stores all over the UK and he always suggested that he's some big fish there, not a labourer or similar. That he's going to work early to look at plans etc. He wants to set up his own business, employ two others and contract out to build huge metal constructions for supermarket chains 🙂 We recently had a store extension at the Tesco I work for, looked like they needed more than 3 people to finish that. Another thing is he said he works around UK where the neighbour said he leaves every day to work so works somewhere locally.

So yeah, it is slightly progressing and hopefully he will be able to pay back be it in instalments. My mum is flying here next week and we will be going there again with her to write an agreement for repayments to have some paperwork.

Thebikechain in Edinburgh will benefit from my mums visit as:
1. I've got loads of Tikitaki and Kasztanki
2. I'll bring You some of her home cooking 🙂

I feel a bit better now and my mums is calmer as well. I'm really happy she got her act together and now feels more confident to fight the scammer.

I'll update here again if I will have any new information.

Another post reminded me of this. Any more news on it mieszko?

meiszko - i am originaly from Linwood (3 miles from Paisley) and have quite a few mates in Paisley and the surrounding area. If you give me the guys name and adress i might be able to suss him out.

send me a private e-mail with the details

My sister is currently under the spell of a complete toe rag. She left her husband a few weeks ago (handled it very badly).

My brother in law pleaded with her, but she wasn't having any of it.

He then took his own life!!!! 😐 Which is what i call a tragedy!

Women are very suceptible to charmers!

Last two weeks were a bit crazy but there is a result. We managed to get in touch with his neighbours and they were very helpful with letting us know when he's home etc. We went round to a Police station in Edinburgh, but they told us to go to the one in Paisley. So another trip to Paisley was needed. At the Police station woman said it's a civil matter and that there is nothing they can do, advised to see a solicitor. We went to the nearest one in Paisley, guy said that a letter demanding payment would cost us £100+VAT and if my mum would qualify for civil legal aid getting the case to court would cost around £500. Unfortunately she would not qualify for it so we would be looking at couple of grand to get it to court.

On the same day we managed to get in touch with his flatmate, my mum persuaded him to go and ask Mirek (aka The Douche) but he told him he is not coming out and he does not want to have anything to do with us. Shame he was not like this when he took the cash. We took the guy for a coffee and he said that Mirek is working nights now and usually leaves around 7-8pm. Funny thing was that he told my mum he's working away now but he only parked his car two streets away so it looked like he's not at home. Anyway we parked close by and waited until he goes to work. Around 8pm we saw him walking and my mum went running after him (as fast as You can run wearing heels), my brother close by and I drove off to block his car. He managed to drive off but he then wanted to turn around in a side street so I got in front of him and blocked him. Not much of a Hollywood pursuit really as he saw me, managed to reverse away and sped off. I now know that a Passat estate is not the ideal car for tight turns and when I got my mum and brother back in the car he was away. However it probably had the desired effect and he got scared that we will not let him off lightly.

About 30 minutes later he phones my mum sounding scared and asking what was that supposed to be etc. My mum told him that she wants him to sign a document that he will repay the load with a deadline. Then some texts, phone calls and my mum managed to get him to drive to Edinburgh. They met up in a cafe to write everything down. My brother was waiting inside at a different table (as Mirek does not know how he looks like) and I was waiting nearby. Miro started to explain why he was behaving like that but the story was full of BS but my mum played along as she wanted him to sign the document. He signed it, but what was very strange he behaved like nothing has really happened. He even was calling my mum "dear" and gave her a kiss on the cheek on his way out, I wanted to kiss him with my fist when I saw it.

Now it seemed like it's sorted but NO. Turns out he gave my mum the wrong surname and there was no way of checking it as he "forgot" any form of ID. Just one letter difference but he did that on purpose. My mum started to call him again and forced him to come to Edinburgh again. We went to meet him yesterday and new agreement was written, he had his passport and driving license so we now have his real surname. All in all he is still a complete idiot and sometimes I think he might be a nut case, first behaving like that and now all nice etc. Mum is relived that she has something in writing but he still needs to start paying it off. Good thing is now that the document is here it would be easier to get the Police involved.

So this is the final result, I probably missed a thing or two but it seems we had to scare him to get him to sign it and confront my mum. Due to the meeting yesterday, than work, than Uni today I had only 2 hours sleep in the last 24 hours.

I still hate the guy, for all the problems he caused and how he treated my mum.

I would like to thank everyone who had some great advice that was very helpful and to everyone who contacted me via email.

Gixer.John seems it wont be needed. But thank You for the offer.

Spongebob, that does sound very tragic and I just don't understand how sometimes woman can behave like that and douechebags like the guy mentioned is trashing a family.

I'm off to get some sleep. Thank You all again and hopefully this is the end of this story.

Hey Sir

Sorry to hear that.

Hope you get some sort of lasting resolution to the situation.

Paul