[Closed] facebook etiquette and ex-girlfriends....

Facebook is a stalkers' paradise. You just have to try to pick non-stalky girlfriends I think.

Cant you just choose who can see what?

Bit high maintenance but maybe an option

If she's still your friend, surely she can understand the situation (and may even be thinking the same thing.

I'd remove all tags & probably even photo's that showed you obviously together.

If you've split up and are truly still friends then she should understand - won't she have the same quandry?

Does new girlfriend think you've spent all your years up to now crying and wailling in a darkened room waiting for her to arrive?

Talk to your ex and she what she says.

She's probably in the same position and also wants to move on, sure she may have a few irons in the fire herself 😉

The old classic, we are still friends dilemma!

Good luck 😉

If you're that concerned, start up a new facebook account using a middle initial or something to differentiate it from the old one, tag all the photos you want the new GF to see with the new ID, delete the old tag from those photos then the new facebook account won't link with the ex so the new GF need never know that you once touched another lady in a special way, but the old facebook account won't show your ex that you're not actually going to be celibate for the rest of your life. Oh, and make sure that all of your friends from the old account are added as friends in the new account, except those ones that you only accepted as friends due to some social compulsion or other. Or you could always just MTFU.

there are lots of photos of the two of you together on holidays and generally having fun etc.

i didn't think facebook allowed you to add those photos?... 😉

But is she not in a similar position? Not sure i would want to meet up with a girl to find out she's got hundreds of photos of the last bloke she was going out with? I would probably be removing the photos if the were on my profile or asking whoever has put them up to remove them or at least de-tag me. Sure she will understand, you can always keep copies of your photos off-line if you want to keep a copy?

I've recently been in the same situation. Split with missus a few months ago and started dating a girl who added me on FB.

She looked through all my old pics and we talked about the people and places in them during the early days, before things got particularly involved. I knew they'd bug her as we got closer, and when I met some of her friends and they sent me friend requests, I asked her if she wanted me to delete things like my wedding photos. She said she could deal with it, but that it did bug her a bit, especially if her friends could see them.

So I had a bit of a clear out. I've kept copies of them and anyone who wants them is more than welcome to have copies too if they ask, but Facebook is about publishing parts of your life that you're happy for others to view, and if they have the potential to upset someone - especially someone you have a chance of building a new relationship with - you should take them off.

If people from your past think that's unacceptable, that's their problem.

thepurist - jeez, not even really sure I understood all that but it sounded complicated, the MTFU was a more reasonable option

everyone else's suggestions seem reasonable, especially as you say she's likely having similar thoughts..

Cheers

If I may quote from the lyrics of "Fascination" by Everything but the Girl?

[i]There must be so much I know
That you cannot forget
And I mustn't wish your life began
The day we met[/i]

Most people will understand you haven't just popped into the world "un-adulterated" so to speak.

Your probably on the bounce as well, so I doubt this new "GF" will last anyway.

Just MTFU and go ride*!

*Yes, that was a double entendre 🙂

doesn't this depend on whether the new girlfriend sees herself as more or less attractive than the old one?

about 5 min after the "I hope we can stay friends" text arrived she removed me on Facebook, problem solved.

FFS MTFU, how neurotic are you? If you get any more insecure you'll bleed once a month.

All my ex's have had pic of thier ex's on facebook, as long as I don't find them feeding the pony whilst looking at them it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

i have ex, future and current GF's on friendface. its my life, they can think what they want, if it bothers them, it bothers them. you're being a bit precious and over sensitive - IMO

as for a parallel fb profile!! serious? that's taking paranoid a bit far...

stop using facebook, is the only sensible option 😉

iDave are a stud or what? 😛

I'd just ignore those that tell you to MTFU and do what feels right. There's nothing 'unmanly' about being sensitive to other people's feelings, and if you treat a new girlfriend with sensitivity and consideration, it'll pay dividends. I know it did with my new girlfriend! 😉

Would you be happy going into a girlfriend's house and seeing her wedding or holiday photos all over every wall? No, you wouldn't, and you'd probably not feel comfortable taking a new girl home if you had photos of your ex everywhere.

Removing photos from facebook is the equivalent of taking those photos off the mantelpiece and putting them in a drawer. You don't have to completely delete something that was a big part of your life, but a little sensitivity is definitely called for.

scuff - yes, haven't you noticed how I look at you?

Crickey things are soo complicated these days. I agree take them down having explained to your ex the situation so she doesn't think you're erasing your past or anything nutso like that.

There will come a time where she will have a new beau too and likely as not he'll not want to see them either. It's not like the good times didn't happen but an online tribute to them is a little daunting for any new flame.

My old Mum used to have pics arund her house of me with my ex, but when we split up they all went in a box including my sister's wedding pics although she did hilariously offer to get the wedding pics cropped so my ex was chopped off the end!?!?

if u keep the old GF on facebook, would there still be the opportunity to er 'one last time etc.....

FFS, just leave it as is and stop airbrushing your life to suit others.

Stop using FB. If they are real mates it wont make a difference, if you never hear from them again then they are virtual friends.

iDave-
Youm boz eyed and panting usually. You out thursday or got more lies/excuses ?

Facebook. What a load of shite.

[url=

No friends to add then trailer? I can taste the bitterness 😉

I'd just leave em up on facebook. We have photo albums in our house of me with my ex. I don't see why it's a problem? You're both adults, it isn't like you were the first people who ever kissed in the whole history of the world or something.

including my sister's wedding pics although she did hilariously offer to get the wedding pics cropped so my ex was chopped off the end!?!?

Whilst I can see your mum might take down other pictures, pics from your sister's wedding? That is a bit excessive surely?

Joe