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[Closed] English man spends 11 hours trying to make cup of tea with Wi-Fi kettle

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[#8103239]

OK, so who was it?
It's gotta be someone off here 😆

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/oct/12/english-man-spends-11-hours-trying-to-make-cup-of-tea-with-wi-fi-kettle


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 7:31 am
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Time well spent? Surely?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 7:43 am
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His mistake was thinking that he actually needed a wifi kettle.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 7:48 am
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victim of a Distributed Denial of Tea Attack?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 7:50 am
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Also, after *that* thread I now automatically read wifi as wife. The long winter evenings just fly by.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 7:51 am
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Douglas Adams had a lot to say about this........
🙂


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 7:52 am
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Yes, but he now has a voice activated kettle! Win.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:01 am
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Excellent.
As soon as it can toddle off to the tap and fill itself, we'll have progress.

Not a patch on the Goblin Teasmade.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:02 am
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So now after all that tiring effort of lifting the kettle, filling it with water, and putting it back down, he doesn't even have to touch it to switch it on...


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:04 am
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You all miss the point.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:20 am
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It makes you wonder about the type of person that wakes up in the morning with the idea of how to make boiling a kettle less labour intensive

****


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:30 am
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molgrips - Member
You all miss the point.

But not our tea, unlike Mr Dent up there.....

Go on then, what IS the point?

Remote operation is pointless - you still have to go to the kettle to brew up, and the minute or so between switching it on and it boiling gives you time to get the tea in the pot and the biscuits out.

Pointless toss.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:31 am
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Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast.

How 'bout a muffin?

Or muffins. Or muffins. We don't like muffins around here. We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and definitely no smegging flapjacks.

Aah, so you're a waffle man.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:35 am
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But what spoon did he stir it with?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:36 am
 DezB
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Can someone give me other Twitter people to follow who are as utterly boring as this man please.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 8:37 am
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Someone DDOS'd my RFC 2324 server once 😡


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:04 am
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I think the problem here is the man rather than the kettle. Sounds like the typical "tinkerer" who doesn't really have a ****ing clue 🙂


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:11 am
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Can't tell if he was trying to be funny regarding the firmware update for the lights.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:14 am
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You all miss the point.

Which is that you can now watch porn while you brew your tea, right?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:17 am
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🙂


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:23 am
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It's gotta be someone off here

Nah, anyone off here would have posted about it and got 13 different replies within 10 minutes, at least one of which would come from the person that wrote the kettle's software.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:25 am
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Not a patch on the Goblin Teasmade

I used to regularly enjoy being woken up by a Goblin in the morning.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:28 am
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My main concern is why the fv<k that was headline news!!


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:30 am
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I bet he rides an e-bike! 🙄


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:35 am
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[i]Which is that you can now watch porn while you brew your tea, right? [/i]

or get a beer out the fridge...

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:42 am
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From the comments

Just do it the old fashioned way, a pan, some water and a galaxy s7.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:56 am
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molgrips - Member

You all miss the point.


I think that's the "who was it?" question answered.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 9:57 am
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I think that's the "who was it?" question answered.

Funnily enough, I was thinking of Molly as I read the article.
Maybe it's a Linux-based kettle with the os on a weird partition.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 2:48 pm
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What a knob. Serves him right for buying such a stupid piece of tat.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 2:50 pm
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You all miss the point.

^This.

Obviously this needs explaining.

It's not about the fact he didn't get a cup of tea for eleven hours or that he bought such a device in the first place. It's about the sheer amount of work that a data specialist had to do to get the thing working the way it's supposed to. The whole escapade was summed up in his third tweet.

@internetofshit

It's like that episode of Big Bang Theory...

Sheldon: Camouflaging bald spots. That’s primarily a male concern. Perhaps we could expand our market.

Penny: How are flower barrettes going to appeal to men?

Howard: We add Bluetooth!

Sheldon: Brilliant. Men love Bluetooth.

Penny: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you want to make a hair barrette with Bluetooth?

Sheldon: Penny, everything is better with Bluetooth.

Only now it's WiFi.

The article clearly missed the point as well.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 2:58 pm
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so have I, I still don't understand the point, explain it again.

(better than last time you tried, BTW, if that wasn't clear)


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 3:19 pm
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everything is better with Bluetooth.

My parents in-law have an electric toothbrush that has bluetooth.
http://www.oralb.co.uk/en-gb/why-electric-toothbrush/bluetooth-connectivity

Now I like tech, but I have literally no idea why they paid extra for that feature (which they don't use).


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 3:21 pm
 DezB
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[i]I still don't understand the point, explain it again[/i]

Yes please. And can you Tweet it too? I need more excitement on Twitter.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 3:24 pm
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My parents in-law have an electric toothbrush that has bluetooth.
http://www.oralb.co.uk/en-gb/why-electric-toothbrush/bluetooth-connectivity

Now I like tech, but I have literally no idea why they paid extra for that feature (which they don't use).

Am I too late to do the "But surely you want your teeth to be white, not blue" gag?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 3:31 pm
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Not a patch on the Goblin Teasmade

In a former life (nearly 30yearsago) I had a job which involved child-calling companies to try to speak to the marketing director.

Ringing Goblin was one of the highlights of my week as the very proper sounding lady on the phone used to answer with the greeting "Hello, we're Goblin!"


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 3:35 pm
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I still don't understand the point, explain it again

I can, just about, see the point in that if you're out on a ride and you decide you want a brew [b]immediately[/b] on your return, with a quick swipe of your Kettle App, you can have the thing boiled by the time you've got to the kitchen, thus saving your immensely valuable time (and assuming of course you remembered to leave it full).

Of course now, one saves one's immensely valuable time by simply getting one's butler to make the coffee in the first place.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:01 pm
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But you never make tea without filling the kettle with fresh water, because water which has been constantly reboiled is degassed, which makes rank-tasting tea.

So you still have to physically go to the kettle to fill it each time you want a cup of tea, unless the kettle is also plumbed into your water supply?

Also has no-one come up with a drone that can fly a freshly-made piping hot beverage to wherever I might be in my house?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:03 pm
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The point of messing around with stuff like this is because it's there and it's possible. No-one needs a wifi-activated kettle. But some people like messing around with technology to try and do something even if it's unltimately fairly pointless.

But because he's done this and most likely a whole load of other things in the past, he's become pretty damn good at solving difficult technical issues, which means he's probably good at his job.

It's people like him that will give his business a competitive edge and, because there are people like him in other copmanies, move things forward for everyone. The amazing world of modern technology that we all take for granted now (as we talk on the web whilst online banking and watching Netflix etc etc) exists because of people like him. In fact so does ALL technology since the stone age.

So that's the point - for the hell of it, and for the benefit of mankind. Well - mostly. The dark side of this is pointless tech being manufactured and wasting natural resources. Like.. wifi kettles.. oh shit.... never mind, as you were. What's the point?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:09 pm
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More pointless tech.

As others have said you have to physically fill the kettle, so switch it on after.

Even more pointless than those Hive things.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:14 pm
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"It's people like him that will give his business a competitive edge and, because there are people like him in other copmanies, move things forward for everyone."

The man can't even boil a kettle of water ffs, I'd be amazed if anyone wanted to employ him! 😆

'Competitive edge'; what business is that, 'How to be a complete Bell End inc'?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:16 pm
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As I said gobuchul, the actual application isn't important in this case, it's the process.

The man can't even boil a kettle of water ffs, I'd be amazed if anyone wanted to employ him!

Pretty sure he can operate a kettle the normal way if he wants.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:16 pm
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But because he's done this and most likely a whole load of other things in the past, he's become pretty damn good at solving difficult technical issues, which means he's probably good at his job.

He's good at taking a long time to solve a non-existent problem? Yes, I'm sure prospective employers will be breaking his door down.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:19 pm
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Uh, the same skills also apply to real world problems obviously... 🙄


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:25 pm
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Uh, the same skills also apply to real world problems obviously...

So, assuming that he somehow developed the ability to work out what's important, you're saying that he might be good at taking a long time to solve real problems?


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:28 pm
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I'm with mol on this.

Obviously this tech is fairly pointless, but it is the step towards other things. Obviously he could have given up and got a normal kettle, but it is the puzzle of the thing and that gaining of knowledge that drives certain people.

I'd have done the same thing.


 
Posted : 12/10/2016 4:40 pm
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