[Closed] English man spends 11 hours trying to make cup of tea with Wi-Fi kettle

Time well spent? Surely?

His mistake was thinking that he actually needed a wifi kettle.

victim of a Distributed Denial of Tea Attack?

Also, after *that* thread I now automatically read wifi as wife. The long winter evenings just fly by.

Douglas Adams had a lot to say about this........
🙂

Yes, but he now has a voice activated kettle! Win.

Excellent.
As soon as it can toddle off to the tap and fill itself, we'll have progress.

Not a patch on the Goblin Teasmade.

So now after all that tiring effort of lifting the kettle, filling it with water, and putting it back down, he doesn't even have to touch it to switch it on...

You all miss the point.

It makes you wonder about the type of person that wakes up in the morning with the idea of how to make boiling a kettle less labour intensive

****

molgrips - Member
You all miss the point.

But not our tea, unlike Mr Dent up there.....

Go on then, what IS the point?

Remote operation is pointless - you still have to go to the kettle to brew up, and the minute or so between switching it on and it boiling gives you time to get the tea in the pot and the biscuits out.

Pointless toss.

Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. No toast.

How 'bout a muffin?

Or muffins. Or muffins. We don't like muffins around here. We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and definitely no smegging flapjacks.

Aah, so you're a waffle man.

But what spoon did he stir it with?

Can someone give me other Twitter people to follow who are as utterly boring as this man please.

Someone DDOS'd my RFC 2324 server once 😡

I think the problem here is the man rather than the kettle. Sounds like the typical "tinkerer" who doesn't really have a ****ing clue 🙂

Can't tell if he was trying to be funny regarding the firmware update for the lights.

You all miss the point.

Which is that you can now watch porn while you brew your tea, right?

🙂

It's gotta be someone off here

Nah, anyone off here would have posted about it and got 13 different replies within 10 minutes, at least one of which would come from the person that wrote the kettle's software.

Not a patch on the Goblin Teasmade

I used to regularly enjoy being woken up by a Goblin in the morning.

My main concern is why the fv<k that was headline news!!

I bet he rides an e-bike! 🙄

[i]Which is that you can now watch porn while you brew your tea, right? [/i]

or get a beer out the fridge...

[img] [/img]

From the comments

Just do it the old fashioned way, a pan, some water and a galaxy s7.

molgrips - Member

You all miss the point.

I think that's the "who was it?" question answered.

Funnily enough, I was thinking of Molly as I read the article.
Maybe it's a Linux-based kettle with the os on a weird partition.

What a knob. Serves him right for buying such a stupid piece of tat.

You all miss the point.

^This.

Obviously this needs explaining.

It's not about the fact he didn't get a cup of tea for eleven hours or that he bought such a device in the first place. It's about the sheer amount of work that a data specialist had to do to get the thing working the way it's supposed to. The whole escapade was summed up in his third tweet.

@internetofshit

It's like that episode of Big Bang Theory...

Sheldon: Camouflaging bald spots. That’s primarily a male concern. Perhaps we could expand our market.

Penny: How are flower barrettes going to appeal to men?

Howard: We add Bluetooth!

Sheldon: Brilliant. Men love Bluetooth.

Penny: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you want to make a hair barrette with Bluetooth?

Sheldon: Penny, everything is better with Bluetooth.

Only now it's WiFi.

The article clearly missed the point as well.

so have I, I still don't understand the point, explain it again.

(better than last time you tried, BTW, if that wasn't clear)

everything is better with Bluetooth.

My parents in-law have an electric toothbrush that has bluetooth.
http://www.oralb.co.uk/en-gb/why-electric-toothbrush/bluetooth-connectivity

Now I like tech, but I have literally no idea why they paid extra for that feature (which they don't use).

[i]I still don't understand the point, explain it again[/i]

Yes please. And can you Tweet it too? I need more excitement on Twitter.

My parents in-law have an electric toothbrush that has bluetooth.
http://www.oralb.co.uk/en-gb/why-electric-toothbrush/bluetooth-connectivity

Now I like tech, but I have literally no idea why they paid extra for that feature (which they don't use).

Not a patch on the Goblin Teasmade

In a former life (nearly 30yearsago) I had a job which involved child-calling companies to try to speak to the marketing director.

Ringing Goblin was one of the highlights of my week as the very proper sounding lady on the phone used to answer with the greeting "Hello, we're Goblin!"

I still don't understand the point, explain it again

I can, just about, see the point in that if you're out on a ride and you decide you want a brew [b]immediately[/b] on your return, with a quick swipe of your Kettle App, you can have the thing boiled by the time you've got to the kitchen, thus saving your immensely valuable time (and assuming of course you remembered to leave it full).

Of course now, one saves one's immensely valuable time by simply getting one's butler to make the coffee in the first place.

But you never make tea without filling the kettle with fresh water, because water which has been constantly reboiled is degassed, which makes rank-tasting tea.

So you still have to physically go to the kettle to fill it each time you want a cup of tea, unless the kettle is also plumbed into your water supply?

Also has no-one come up with a drone that can fly a freshly-made piping hot beverage to wherever I might be in my house?

The point of messing around with stuff like this is because it's there and it's possible. No-one needs a wifi-activated kettle. But some people like messing around with technology to try and do something even if it's unltimately fairly pointless.

But because he's done this and most likely a whole load of other things in the past, he's become pretty damn good at solving difficult technical issues, which means he's probably good at his job.

It's people like him that will give his business a competitive edge and, because there are people like him in other copmanies, move things forward for everyone. The amazing world of modern technology that we all take for granted now (as we talk on the web whilst online banking and watching Netflix etc etc) exists because of people like him. In fact so does ALL technology since the stone age.

So that's the point - for the hell of it, and for the benefit of mankind. Well - mostly. The dark side of this is pointless tech being manufactured and wasting natural resources. Like.. wifi kettles.. oh shit.... never mind, as you were. What's the point?

More pointless tech.

As others have said you have to physically fill the kettle, so switch it on after.

Even more pointless than those Hive things.

"It's people like him that will give his business a competitive edge and, because there are people like him in other copmanies, move things forward for everyone."

The man can't even boil a kettle of water ffs, I'd be amazed if anyone wanted to employ him! 😆

'Competitive edge'; what business is that, 'How to be a complete Bell End inc'?

As I said gobuchul, the actual application isn't important in this case, it's the process.

The man can't even boil a kettle of water ffs, I'd be amazed if anyone wanted to employ him!

Pretty sure he can operate a kettle the normal way if he wants.

But because he's done this and most likely a whole load of other things in the past, he's become pretty damn good at solving difficult technical issues, which means he's probably good at his job.

He's good at taking a long time to solve a non-existent problem? Yes, I'm sure prospective employers will be breaking his door down.

Uh, the same skills also apply to real world problems obviously... 🙄

Uh, the same skills also apply to real world problems obviously...

So, assuming that he somehow developed the ability to work out what's important, you're saying that he might be good at taking a long time to solve real problems?

I'm with mol on this.

Obviously this tech is fairly pointless, but it is the step towards other things. Obviously he could have given up and got a normal kettle, but it is the puzzle of the thing and that gaining of knowledge that drives certain people.

I'd have done the same thing.

Mol' i appreciate your pro-tech rant up there, well said.

but still, it's a wifi kettle, ultimately pointless.

if the star of the twitter feed wants to test himself against a shitey wifi device, with the long term view of improving it's unacceptably terrible performance, can i request he start with Pure's Jongo/Connect system?

True intelligence isn't spending half a day trying to get a WiFi kettle working.
True intelligence is realising you don't need a WiFi kettle in the first place.

Obviously this tech is fairly pointless, but it is the step towards other [b]pointless[/b] things.

FTFY

Why do things have to have a point? I don't know why he decided to make a wifi kettle but if he made a challenge for himself and set out to learn the expertise and puzzled through the problem then I struggle to see that as a waste of time. I mean, a lot of people on here must ride bikes in the woods just for fun which doesn't have a lot of "point" other than for fun...

I still don't understand the point, explain it again

The post is not about the kettle - the kettle could be any number of voice activated internet connected widgets, doors, lights, a lift for a disable person etc etc.

It should be easy to connect internet widgets to each other. It isn't, hence, #internetofshit instead of #internetofthings.

I mean, a lot of people on here must ride bikes in the woods just for fun which doesn't have a lot of "point" other than for fun...

I don't think anyone is arguing otherwise...

The post is not about the kettle - the kettle could be any number of voice activated internet connected widgets, doors, lights, a lift for a disable person etc etc.

Except it's not about the useful things it COULD have been about, it's about the pointless thing it is about

Jaws is not about the shark.

"Pretty sure he can operate a kettle the normal way if he wants."

So why didn't he then? he wold have saved himself about 10 hours and 58 minutes, in which to do other, possibly even meaningful and useful, things.

"I mean, a lot of people on here must ride bikes in the woods just for fun which doesn't have a lot of "point" other than for fun..."

Keeps you fit and healthy.

Wasting your life messing about trying to do something that doesn't actually need doing, and has no actual benefit at all, to anyone, isn't a healthy activity.

"True intelligence isn't spending half a day trying to get a WiFi kettle working.
True intelligence is realising you don't need a WiFi kettle in the first place."

Word.

It should be easy to connect internet widgets to each other. It isn't, hence, #internetofshit instead of #internetofthings.

Exactly and it won't get easier until people like him (and me!) solve the problems and make it easier.

Lots of abstract physics and maths could likewise be described as pointless. Spend all day bending your head around the proof that [url=

+ 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + 6 + ... = -1/12[/url] and you don't even get a nice cup of tea at the end. 😉

But because he's done this and most likely a whole load of other things in the past, he's become pretty damn good at solving difficult technical issues, which means he's probably good at his job.

Making a problem massively more complicated than it needs to be, and then solving it, doesn't make you smart IMO. 🙂

Keeps you fit and healthy.

Wasting your life messing about trying to do something that doesn't actually need doing, and has no actual benefit at all, to anyone, isn't a healthy activity.

I'm sure he learnt nothing whatsoever about anything in the process.

I don't know why he decided to make a wifi kettle but if he made a challenge for himself and set out to learn the expertise and puzzled through the problem then I struggle to see that as a waste of time

But he didn't go and invent or make the kettle - he just went and bought it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/iKettle-2-0-Wi-Fi-Electric-Kettle/dp/B00BHXAWX4

And then discovered that it's taken so long to get the bloody thing installed and working it'll probably take him 10 years to work back the 11 hours of his life that it's cost him.

Jaws is not about the shark.

[quote=crazy-legs ] I don't know why he decided to make a wifi kettle but if he made a challenge for himself and set out to learn the expertise and puzzled through the problem then I struggle to see that as a waste of time
But he didn't go and invent or make the kettle - he just went and bought it.
> https://www.amazon.co.uk/iKettle-2-0-Wi-Fi-Electric-Kettle/dp/B00BHXAWX4
And then discovered that it's taken so long to get the bloody thing installed and working it'll probably take him 10 years to work back the 11 hours of his life that it's cost him.

That wasn't my interpretation due to

A key problem seemed to be that Rittman’s kettle didn’t come with software that would easily allow integration with other devices in his home, including Amazon Echo, which, like Apple’s Siri, allows users to tell connected smart devices what to do.

So Rittman was trying to build the integration functionality himself.

So I took it to mean it was building the integration that took ages.

True intelligence is realising you don't need a WiFi kettle in the first place.

I expect he knows full well he doesn't need it.

What you lot don't realise is that when you pay for something in a shop with a debit card, loads of software systems interact with each other in ways very similar to this guy's kettle and the rest of his house. It didn't work perfectly first time, so teams of people had to work hard solving problems, adapting things, and diagnosing faults. Using these same sorts of skills.

I've never owned a wifi kettle, but I've spent countless days messing about with tech trying to get it to do what I want. And now, I'm working on banking systems for you lot. I work on them because I'm good at it, and I'm good because I've spent time on it. I wasn't born good at making things work, I was born with the desire to make things work and solve problems.

And I ride bikes too.

Who remembers the [url= https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trojan_Room_coffee_pot ]Cambridge uni webcam to check whether the coffee pot was empty[/url] before walking down the hallway to get coffee?

What a waste of time that was, making video accessible live online.

Made me think of this: https://xkcd.com/1205/

If he boils that kettle 5 times per day and this has saved him 5 seconds per time, he's an hour up.

So if we hack his kettle and boil it dry then we might be able to set his house on fire, awesome 😀

or somehow made the kettle incompatible with his network via some previous "tinkering" balls-up.

You do realise that outside of your comfortable little bubble not every network is the same? This is why people like Molgrips are paid money to get stuff like this working, it's very similar and very transferable.

The post is not about the kettle - the kettle could be any number of voice activated internet connected widgets, doors, lights, a lift for a disable person etc etc.

[b]It should be easy to connect internet widgets to each other. It isn't, hence, #internetofshit instead of #internetofthings.[/b]

Jim gets it.

So if we hack his kettle and boil it dry then we might be able to set his house on fire, awesome

And oddly so do you. Even though you may not be aware of the fact and it's another separate albeit not unrelated discussion.

This is why people like Molgrips are paid money to get stuff like this working,

Yes but spend the time and money on useful stuff, a wifi kettle is in no ways useful.

Also until we improve security on these devices I'd argue maybe it's time we made things harder to connect to the internet not easier.

Yes but spend the time and money on useful stuff, a wifi kettle is in no ways useful.

Why can't he spend his money on what pleases him? Like we do with bikes?

Also until we improve security on these devices I'd argue maybe it's time we made things harder to connect to the internet not easier.

Point about security is that it's meant to make it easy for you to connect to something but hard for everyone else. Not the same as just being hard for everyone 🙂

Digital paperweight anyone?

[img] [/img]

he's ahead of the curve, gartner only just have IoT heading into the peak of inflated expectations, i think he's firmly in the trough of disillusionment

Unfortunately, for every hero like Molgrips, preventing the entire fabric of western society from collapse, there is an apparently intelligent person designing a Bluetooth enabled toothbrush.

until we improve security on these devices I'd argue maybe it's time we made things harder to connect to the internet not easier.

Given that the security is so lax maybe it is a good idea to play with trivial comparatively inexpensive things like kettles and not [i]"spend the time and money on useful stuff"[/i] that could get hacked ?

If he boils that kettle 5 times per day and this has saved him 5 seconds per time, he's an hour up.

Assuming his wifi doesn't crash and he has to redo its settings........

Yes but spend the time and money on useful stuff, a wifi kettle is in no ways useful.

You're still getting hung up on the kettle. It's not about the kettle. It's about the application and integration of the technology and all the technicalities surrounding it.

It's like people that make or restore things and never use them, why spend the time and effort in the first place? Because they enjoy it, because they learn something and ultimately it gives them a sense of fulfillment seeing the finished article working as they intended.

Molgrips are paid money to get stuff like this working

I plugged my wi-fi telly in and within 15 minutes it had found and connected to my NAS storage and internet-radio enabled stereo...

And how do you think it managed those things? Magic?

Or was it perhaps programmed by folk like me or molgrips or kettle bloke, who have messed around with this stuff for you and got it to the stage where the software is intelligent enough to sort itself out?

You're still getting hung up on the kettle. It's not about the kettle

Or was it perhaps programmed by folk like me or molgrips or kettle bloke,

BigButSlimmerBloke: you seem to have missed the key point that the guy was trying to get the kettle to do something that the manufacturers hadn't intended it to do.

[img] [/img]

My car bluetooth - works. Internet telly - works.

Great - now does you car's Bluetooth connect to your telly via [url= https://ifttt.com/ ]IfThisThenThat[/url] or Amazon Echo?

Graham you're wasting your breath, if people can't understand after it's been explained over and over there's no hope.

It looks like he just wanted to be able to say
"Tea, Earl Grey, Hot" and get his drink in a Capt. Picard style.

I suppose 11 hours is short compared to building a starship.