[Closed] Dont call me Babe.

Does anyone else see the irony here? McBoo and others getting all worked up complaining about someone who made a gentle complaint to a bus company and then commented how it had been blown out of proportion. I can almost here the indignant frothing from McBoo from here. what double standards " its PC gone mad" McBoo - you are blowing this out of all proportion

He is not really though it he, he has just posted on a mountain biking site hoping for some mildly diverting discourse to make up for a slack day at work because the markets are moribund. I imagine many post on this forum for a similar reason, I appreciate your motives may be different.

I imagine many post on this forum for a similar reason, I appreciate your motives may be different.

so if babe is not sexist* just wondering what is.

I'm guessing "sugartits" would probably fall outside the bounds of acceptability. I'm not sure "babe" would be very professional, although I guess it would depend [b]a lot[/b] on context - a female social worker talking to an elderly woman in a home is a lot different to a policeman to a 20 year old girl on the street.

I concur with don simon, a succinct and positive addition by mefty there.

Mefy, good sir, may I doff my hat in your direction for such a fine, succinct piece of posting? Most pithy.

There are lots of regional colloquialisms that are dependent on location as well as context. When I was younger, 'cock' and cocker where both used to describe young men..

Thank god I've never actually met anyone in person who would get wound up by a word genuinely said in friendship.

The very idea is baffling and says more about the recipient than it does the person who said it... bruv

coffeeking - think you'd feel differently if you were a woman, women are far more judged on looks than men.

He is not really though it he, he has just posted on a mountain biking site hoping for some mildly diverting discourse to make up for a slack day at work because the markets are moribund. I imagine many post on this forum for a similar reason, I appreciate your motives may be different.

And all she did was send a quick email to the bus company. The tone of many on here is far more frothing at the mouth than she was.

women are far more judged on looks than men.

Mostly by other women.

And all she did was send a quick email to the bus company. The tone of many on here is far more frothing at the mouth than she was.

That's cos we've got TJ, the Forum Frother.

Edit: which is a good thing, be boring otherwise 🙂

innit bruv!

dis thred is bare jokes

[i]TJ, the Forum Frother.[/i]

A lovely sobriquet 🙂

you'd feel differently if you were a woman

IME they don't mind babe, love, darling etc.
They tend to object to 'mama' though 🙂

Sorry, but 'babe' is massively sexist IMO

it feels and sounds like such a put-down

I prefer "treacle tits" when dealing with females and "butch" for males...

Barely anyone complains and if they do I curl up in a ball on the floor right in front of them and wail loudly; they seldom take it any further when they think they've upset a mental...

It's a rite of passage. The day when folk stop calling you "son" and start calling you "mate".

Should we instead graduate from "Master" to "Sir" or "M'Lord"?

Perhaps briefly via "Esquire".

I'm not particularly worked up or frothing thanks Teej, all is Zen here at the pumping heart of global capitalism.

We're having a wigwam built on the roof for the summer, going to be green-tea chillax heaven.

*is a little surprised we've got this far into the thread and nobody has suggested greeting people with a gentle boob rub*

I agree with the rite of passage; schoolboys used to say 'Oi mate', then one day they start saying 'Excuse me Mister' when ball retrieval is required.

Sorry, but 'babe' is massively sexist IMO

But it's used man-to-woman, woman-to-man and woman-to-woman.
The only combination I haven't heard is man-to-man, and I'm sure that's just because of my sheltered life.

How can that be massively sexist?

So both emsz and the lady in the guardian (admittedly small sample size) think it's sexist versus a bunch of blokes who ride mountain bikes who think it's alright. hmmm who's judgement to trust on this issue?

me and my friend kaan call each other babe occasionally, we both have dangly undergardens confirming it as a male-to-male exchange.

HTH babe x

I try and use my own judgement. How is it possible to do otherwise?

I think some bloke called suarez used his own judgement recently but for some reason a term he thought was inoffensive actually DID offend someone. Bizarre

I can think of maybe 2 people who'd call me that, and one is as gay as a window. I get 'Hun' slightly ironically from another male friend, and from another (who's one down from caveman) it could be anything from babe to "Oi pissflaps". LOL

BUT...I know these people well, if a random bus driver gives it Babe at me, I'm going with my hardest of paddington bear stares 😆

I've been dealing with patients for coming up to fifteen years, and part of the art of communication is judging how they would like to be addressed, and adjust my linguistics appropriately. There are plenty of times when a respectful use of Mr/Mrs 'surname' is entirely appropriate, but also times when m'dear, owd'un, chap, sweetheart, shug (when in Stoke) etc have all been terms that have been useful in putting a patient at ease in what can often be quite stressful situations. I do have a vague recollection of some sort of instruction about not using colloquial terms to address patients, but I like most of my colleagues would pretty much rather use our common sense and judgment than be told how to talk to people by someone who obviously has far more time on their hands than they probably should have.

In summary; it's all about context, innit.

Hello Petals

Personally I don't have an issue with any of these terms of endearment / familiar expressions.

My wife (who is Hungarian) really doesn't like the West of Scotland habit of calling women "Hen". She doesn't think its sexist she just doesn't like being compared to a chicken!

i german GF likes it when someone calls her "love" or "darling".

here in germany there aren't any colloqiual terms that people use to address someone.

no malice is intended by the speaker when they say "love". i use iot when addressing the train ticket lady, my sister's friends and the old lady a few doors down.

I don't like it. From friends or family it's fine but from people who I don't know, from someone working for a service which I'm paying to use i.e. buses or anything similar, at work etc, nope dont like it. Basicially anyone else outside of my friends or closest family would probably get a shirty look. Use sir/madam or someones name fgs. I've always found it patronising when someone calls me 'love' or 'darlin'. gaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh actually really boils my pee. It's also very chavy.

if a random bus driver gives it Babe at me, I'm going with my hardest of paddington bear stares

Even if the bus driver is a 60 year old woman?

Even if the bus driver is a 60 year old woman?

Yep

Yep,

it's just..Arrrghhhhhh. hate it

steve for blokes

donna for birds

its never failed

I've always found it patronising when someone calls me 'love' or 'darlin'. gaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh actually really boils my pee. It's also very chavy.

You were doing well up until you said 'chavy'. Isn't that just another demeaning word for a sector of the population?

She doesn't think its sexist she just doesn't like being compared to a chicken!

you should tell her it's short for hen-wife, that'll cheer her up no end

...and all physios should be called Dave. We've got a physio who is actually called Dave, and it confuses him no end.

To be honest if thats all shes got to worry about, a holiday in the tribal areas of ****stan might be in order to put it all into some perspective.

[i]So both emsz[b] and emma82[/b] and the lady in the guardian (admittedly small sample size) think it's sexist versus a bunch of blokes who ride mountain bikes who think it's alright[/i]

So, what you're saying is that the dears should calm down because us fellas are just being nice?

I think you're right.

I dislike being called 'Stud' and 'Player'. It's sexist.

Use sir/madam or someones name fgs

As a stalwart believer in correct heraldic address, I find "Sir" deeply offensive as I am neither a Baronet nor a Knight. To assume such a title on me is derogatory to the entire honours system.

Replublicans, marxists and religious extremists may also be offended, since the term derives from "My Lord"

HTH love.

I'd go further than that [s]crikey[/s] Dave. From now on [b]EVERYONE[/b], male or female, should be referred to as Dave

Its a great, earthy, non-flash utilitarian name. When we reach this goal, only then will we have true equality [s]comrades[/s] Daves!

From Twitter;

[i]
in Brighton they’re not allowed to call girls “babe.” but they are allowed to call a large area of gravel and stones “a beach.”[/i]

[i]In Plymouth they have a Ho.[/i]

Yep,

it's just..Arrrghhhhhh. hate it

What if it was a 65 year old blind lady in the street?

Alpin, I am German too but I hate being called darling, babe or love from complete strangers or people I hardly know. I find it degrading and belittling.
The psychology of treating someone 'friendlier' than you actually are is some power display thing, it's done in politics a lot (e.g. one politician putting his arm round another one... Bush jnr. has done that a lot). I have read this on the internez so it must be true!

It's all fine by me sweetheart
Don't see what all the fuss is about

I think it was fair enough, she didn't like it so she told the bus company. Didn't call for anyone to be sacked, didn't call for it to be banned, just told them it made her feel uncomfortable. The reaction to her is what is ridiculous and over the top IMO.

babe - Member
It's all fine by me sweetheart
Don't see what all the fuss is about

Lamest special sign on of evar.

> Even if the bus driver is a 60 year old woman?

Yep

Right so, work with me here, how is a friendly term of address from a 60 year old woman to a young woman, "massively sexist"?

I think it was fair enough, she didn't like it so she told the bus company. Didn't call for anyone to be sacked, didn't call for it to be banned, just told them it made her feel uncomfortable. The reaction to her is what is ridiculous and over the top IMO.

What about those that of us who simply find it a genuinely human and friendly term of address?

Do we now need to write to the bus company and protest that "Sir" and "Madam" are cold indifferent terms of corporate beige and feigned respect that make us feel deeply uncomfortable?

Go for it, doesn't bother me.

The psychology of treating someone 'friendlier' than you actually are is some power display thing

Perhaps that's a cultural difference, but it's not the intention. The whole point is, it's supposed to be a leveller, it's just an informal friendly address in the same way that smiling is.

Do we now need to write to the bus company and protest that "Sir" and "Madam" are cold indifferent terms of corporate beige and feigned respect that make us feel deeply uncomfortable?

Personally I prefer familiarity to deference in shops and on buses (although draw the line at 'my friend, my friend')

My brain culturally imploded once when a middle-aged Afro-American gentleman-customer addressed me "Sir". I was, like, whoa dude, your'e in Europe. We aren't programmed for that kind of language!

GrahamS - Member

"exactly Druidh - which precludes the use of "babe" " love" etc."

Eh? How does "babe" or "love" qualify as disrespectful, racist or sexist?

Can yo really not see how belittleing it can be? Note all the women posting on here dislike it.

Perhaps that's a cultural difference, but it's not the intention. The whole point is, it's supposed to be a leveller, it's just an informal friendly address in the same way that smiling is.

It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you"

It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you"

[img] [/img]

It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you"

Really? That 60 year old woman who sold me 4 oranges in Liverpool Street station this morning was putting me in my place was she?

She called me "Love".

It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you"

Eh?

Really? That 60 year old woman who sold me 4 oranges in Liverpool Street station this morning was putting me in my place was she?

She called me "Love".

I hope you wrote a stern letter to National Rail.

My brain culturally imploded once when a middle-aged Afro-American gentleman-customer addressed me "Sir". I was, like, [u]whoa dude[/u], your'e in Europe. We aren't programmed for that kind of language!

Really I have never read anything quite so depressingly po-faced as that last little peach from Jeremy.

Read the posts from the women on here. I suspect they are rather more qualified to comment than you.

I am depressed by how Neanderthal and blinkered your attitude is in the 21st century McBoo

Go on - re read the posts from the women on here and patronise them a bit more why don't you by telling them their objections to this are wrong.

And then have another daily wail style frothing rant.

Read the posts from the women on here. I suspect they are rather more qualified to comment than you.

Really? How so? Were they standing behind me in the station at 0710?

Read the posts from the women on here. I suspect they are rather more qualified to comment than you.

And then have another daily wail style frothing rant.

I read the Guardian. See post #1.

Read the posts from the women on here. I suspect they are rather more qualified to comment than you.

If only you could see the mocking laughter from my wife and her (female) cousin. They don't believe you're a real person.

Read the posts from the women on here. I suspect they are rather more qualified to comment than you.

Don't be daft, they're women.

(-:

[i]The psychology of treating someone 'friendlier' than you actually are is some power display thing,[/i]

What if you actually are that friendly?

[i]It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you"[/i]

Sweet Jesus. No it doesn't, don't be ridiculous. That's the same sort of pompous political correct crap that decreed that the term 'blackboard' couldn't be used and 'Ba Ba Black Sheep' couldn't be sung because they were racist.

Didnt we do this last night re:bonuses?

Didnt we do this last night re:bonuses?

note [s]all[/s] two of the women on here dislike it.

FTFY.

It's really not a great sample size TJ.
And you're rather ignoring the vast majority of posters who say they don't mind it or even like it.

It belittleing and demeaning and disrespectful to refer to someone you don't know by a term of endearment. It says "I am more powerful than you"

WTF? So when the cleaners come in and say [i]"Can I empty your bin love?"[/i] they are not only being sexist, but they are also demeaning me and saying "I am more powerful than you"??

Get over yourself Sir.

TandemJeremy - Member
I am depressed by how Neanderthal and blinkered your attitude is in the 21st century McBoo

I get called "Love" and I'm the Neanderthal? I'm the victim of a hate crime!

Do you not think that stepping in and speaking on their behalf is not in itself somewhat patronizing?

agree with dondon on that bit mr teejay

Go on - re read the posts from the women on here and patronise them a bit more why don't you by telling them their objections to this are wrong.

And I've given you several reasons why I might be offended by you calling people "Sir"

I trust you will be desisting from this offensive practise immediately?

So three women posted onthis thread and this is ther response. do we believe them? or do we believe the right wing frothers such as McBoo

emsz - Member

I hate being called 'babe', or 'sweetheart' by blokes, but i don't mind 'love' from old dears on the checkout though. there's a bloke on the train station that calls everyone "me duck" which is ok. Hate being complimented by strangers as well, very creepy

emma82 - Member

I don't like it. From friends or family it's fine but from people who I don't know, from someone working for a service which I'm paying to use i.e. buses or anything similar, at work etc, nope dont like it. Basicially anyone else outside of my friends or closest family would probably get a shirty look. Use sir/madam or someones name fgs. I've always found it patronising when someone calls me 'love' or 'darlin'. gaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh actually really boils my pee. It's also very chavy.

orangina - Member

Alpin, I am German too but I hate being called darling, babe or love from complete strangers or people I hardly know. I find it degrading and belittling.
The psychology of treating someone 'friendlier' than you actually are is some power display thing, it's done in politics a lot (e.g. one politician putting his arm round another one... Bush jnr. has done that a lot). I have read this on the internez so it must be true!

And we now have the full set with a "PC gone mad" complaint.

Oh dear! 🙁

the right wing frothers such as McBoo

Does that make you a left wing squirter then, TJ?

FTFY.

It's really not a great sample size TJ.
And you're rather ignoring the vast majority of posters who say they don't mind it or even like it.

Its only some of the men posting who don't mind it the women all dislike the practice.

I wonder why? I wonder whos experience of sexist behaviour might be more relevant?

I wonder whos experience of sexist behaviour might be more relevant?

So men can't experience sexist behaviour now??

Sexist!

So men can't experience sexist behaviour now??

That's right. Now go make me a cup of tea, sugar balls.

What point was the OP making again? I cant remember and I'm the OP.

TJ.. The fact that a few people don't like something doesn't automatically make it wrong.

My elderly mother calls EVERYONE 'babe'. She isn't on some power trip or committing a hate crime. To most normal people she's simply being friendly. That the odd person doesn't like it is their problem.

I actually find your aloof championing of the minority voice quite demeaning to them and frankly, much ruder. Doubt that will make a difference though eh bruv.