I have internal monologs all the time and find them really useful. While I was reading this thread I was having the conversation in my mind along the lines of:
* Yeah, that sounds familiar. Best store that thought.
# Hmph, a typical STW answer
* Oh, that sort of backs up / contradicts the earlier point
>> I think I could try to share my experiences as there are enough similar thoughts for this to be a safe thing to do and it might help others
# Yeah, better think about the formatting if I try to type and internal dialog
* Can't quite work out if this is generally positive of negative. People seem to be saying self doubt is the same thing
# Yeah, like you know what self doubt is
>> Okay, lets reply. I better not just repeat the earlier points that resonate but explain how it works for me and where it is different to what others have said
I have several different persona who I have conversations with. I have tried to represent them with the *, # and >> in from of the comments about.
* Is always on the look out for interesting facts or things of note to store for later or to take action
# Is mocking and generally like the constantly sarcastic mate but is also a useful gdrag-anchor toi stop me doing dumb stuff
>> Is the project manager who gathers all the thoughts together and makes plans based on the facts while avoiding the piss take stuff
When I try to visualise this I see a stable block of these persona in my mind with multiple fact gatherers, project managers etc in each stable. I actually use this so that when I am working on multiple projects I will have one set of persona associated with each project and as I switch between projects I put one lot back in their stable and bring the others out. This means I have all of the right memories for the current project in my mind and none form the other project to distract.
First time I have written this down, does it make any sense?
'We are not our thoughts'
I have a book by a Thai Buddhist called 'the Mind City'. It describes aspects of thinking where we recognise that the mental churn we produce isn't ourselves, it's just by-product like a dream. The Mind City is a way of describing parts of of our thinking as the citizens who run amok and the citizens who try to maintain peace, the fortifications built to prevent incoming trouble and other social functions. It goes a long way into the characters in the city as a way of teaching Buddhism 9tbh it lost me along that line) but at a simple level it's about 2 parts of the brain.
I read a bit of this stuff years ago out of interest in Asian culture generally. What's interesting to me is how a western psychologist like Daniel Kahneman describes what seems like a similar brain function in a very different way. Essentially we're all going about our days trying to work stuff out while bombarding ourselves with mental detritus and constantly reacting to the world we see and we can either act on it instinctively or engage what he calls System 2 which is about reasoning and less reactive thinking, the part of the brain that solves a maths problem rather than the 1st impressions judgement part. eg social media and clickbait seems to be all about poking System 1 for a reaction before System 2 can get involved. How our thinking is split between the 2 systems varies and it's something we can affect ourselves.
It does seem that an important skill we can develop is to find a way to process the churn. Meditation is about allowing the thoughts to surface and parking them for another time and apparently that's like any physical skill, the more you do it the more natural it becomes. Similar to being aware of thinking as seen by that 2-system theory and simply being aware of how our thoughts arise and are processed is beneficial. I expect that's why we like riding bikes or why people do similar activities, it gives us time in the moment when the brain dialogue shuts up.
System 1 is # and System 2 is * and >> in my mental dialogs
Well, if nothing else, I know I'm not alone. I have a constant stream of thoughts, a lot of which are negative. I often end up in arguments with strangers (in my head) over trivial things for absolutely no reason.
I've ended up in blazing rows with the Mrs ending in divorce (in my head), whilst washing up or doing some other mundane task. I love my wife dearly and it's a terrifying thought. (Even now I'm thinking WTF does that say about me?)
I often drift into a fantasy of a 'better life' where I'm not an anxiety-stricken, mess of fear and self-loathing.
Then other times I'm walking in the sunshine and just close my eyes and it's all OK again. Briefly.
Life's exhausting.
(I've written and deleted this 3 times now. F*** it)
Yes yes yes
Monologue here.
genuinely amazed that not everyone has it, that’s really interesting, I’d always just assumed that everyone had it.
Interesting stuff
I’ll expand a tiny bit on the thoughts feelings thing.
I’m very much a logical problem solver. This is great for fixing bikes and planning at work. However it’s rubbish at sorting out how you feel. L
Let’s say I feel say worried. The logical problem solver sets out to work on the problem. A standard problem approach is comparing where you are, feeling worried, with where you want to be, feeling happy. But that makes you feel worse as you’ve analysed the gap and worked out how far you are from where you want to be. So you feel slightly worse. Then before you know it whe’re in “I’ve got a busy week coming up and I’m already worried“.
So the mindfulness suggestion is to laccept the feeling. Just be “aware” of it. Aware is pretty powerful. It’s a level above the worry. The bit that can feel that your worried isn’t worried. The moods are just things that pass by. With mindfulness practice you tackle the thoughts. No we are not thinking about next week let’s plan a holiday instead. This last bit is obviously cognitive behavioural therapy as well.
My inner dialogue is huge on a bike. It’s just so much more positive
It's not as active as it once was. Previous career it was in full force, probably more to do with the nature of the job and constantly having to think through and plan for complex situations that would then change direction in a heartbeat.
My life is far less complex these days so it more reduced to internalising reactions to the stupidity I encounter.
It's been interesting reading through all the replies, I can happily view mine as a critical friend and something that was very much a asset.
Martymac +1
i have a very dry soh, anxious paranoid tendencies and a naivety in life. I fell my internal monologue is the only person that really understands me e.g. there’s been many occasion where I’ve unwittingly offended someone with a comment I genuinely don’t understand to be offensive, yet the fact I upset someone can resurface years later as ashamed puzzlement. Only yesterday I was dwelling on a thing that happened 17 years ago.
So the mindfulness suggestion is to laccept the feeling. Just be “aware” of it. Aware is pretty powerful. It’s a level above the worry.
That's useful. A bit like using the Control/Influence/Concern (or informed, aware etc i/o concern) levels of involvement to sort out work topics perhaps.
fwiw I have similar internal dialogue situation play-outs as others describe, I thought it was just a way of processing stuff and quite normal. The most regular and daft one being the projection of driver anger or aggression when I'm out riding - someone may do something pretty normal or innocuous and I could assume they're 'one of those ----s' etc and drifted into what/why/pointless projection or speculation. I suppose it's become a worn-in thought path from years of those experiences and it takes a while to change (not living in the SE anymore helps..). Now I don't gesture displeasure with bad driving, I only wave thanks and a thumbs-up to good drivers. Seems more positive to only react to the good, flipping the old negative cycle. I'm a happier roadie for it. Same process can apply in many areas I think. Again, a lot of online stuff is about reactions and negatives like this - I wonder how much effect this has, how habits develop as those mental paths get well-trodden.
Slightly off topic, but i was listening to something on the radio recently (maybe Hannah Fry) and apparently not everyone has "a mind's eye". As in, if think of an orange, i can picture an orange in my head....but some people don't. I think it's about 10% of people.
My wife sometimes takes the piss out of me when she can see my lips moving and knows I'm talking to myself. Well, not really to myself, but to other imaginary people. It's more a case of playing out scenarios in my head, which I think is useful when it comes to playing out in reality.
I suppose that isn't really an internal monologue, is it? Maybe I don't have one of those. I'll ask myself.
I suppose that isn’t really an internal monologue, is it?
Same thing just a different expression? I heard someone explain how vocalising positive things has more effect than just thinking them, so chat away..
I've tried thinking aloud in the car while commuting a few times, explaining some ideas by talking through to myself and realising I stumbled on some aspects of them. I'd say it was a good thing to do despite feeling unnatural*. I think a voice recorder memo app could be useful.
*on day 4 or 5 of a solo bike tour saying good morning to a squirrel and asking how it's doing seems quite normal .. so who knows : )
I guess I do but I'd never really considered what it was or even that some people might not. I just assumed it's because I work on my own and generally spend quite a lot of time on my own. I do a lot of running through future conversations in my head. I've been doing it this week because my daughter's leaving her football team and there's one parent who I get on well with and I'll speak to him about it. On the other hand I've just realised my other half is the opposite, I often wonder why she hasn't thought something through when she says the wrong thing but I guess that's just how she is and she tends to think out loud. It can be quite tricky dealing with our contrasting ways of doing things.
[i] I heard someone explain how vocalising positive things has more effect than just thinking them, so chat away..[/i]
A weird and slightly connected thing is that if you are looking for something specific in a jumbled mess - say a particular bike bit in your messed up garage - you are more likely to spot it if you keep saying the name of the thing you are looking for rather than just looking.
Is it the same as intrusive thoughts? 🤔
I’m an internal monologue person. Always assumed that everyone was the same.
Same.
I'm forever telling my wife to repeat herself as I wasn't listening... Bit that's because I was listening to myself talking about something else.
Definitely similar to @fazzini
It can make listening to podcasts and watching TV with complicated plots difficult. Similar with reading too.
I've enjoyed reading all the replies, some interesting stuff
I don't know... Do I? Yes - maybe I do - I think I might. But not so much these days. It's there if I need it. If I need it. Which I'm not sure I do. Confrontations can trigger a very negative/angry/oppositional monologue. Or just the memory of a confrontation can, (can surface) if it has some relation to something in my current range of experience.
I’m forever telling my wife to repeat herself as I wasn’t listening…
Yeah I do this a lot usually because I was trying to think about something else before they started speaking to me. Although it will happen sometimes after they start speaking to me as I haven't properly given them my attention.
I don't think all my thoughts are verbalised. But some definitely are. Sometimes this takes the form of explaining an issue to someone (who isn't there). This afternoon walking round Roath Park lake I was explaining why I preferred moorhens to coots. I could have just bored the Mrs by actually saying this to her, but it was an internal explanation. I think.
[double post]
Also, when road and gravelly type riding I am mostly going on to myself about something (I don't like listening to music while I ride). I think this is often to try to make sense of stuff I don't understand properly, like the money supply or what low speed rebound is for. When I worked it was sorting out how to explain difficult (well simple tbh) stuff to students. Trail riding I don't really have time for that as I have to concentrate on the trail. So both types of riding are good.
yes i do and its not very nice.
it'll do stuff like "your wife and kids are a bit late back, maybe theyve had an accident and are dead"
absolutely horrible negative when it wants to be
my only way to deal with it is to keep flat out busy and obsess on something. typically learning something new, ideal a mixture of academic and physical. however once ive exhausted the topic, mind goes quiet and this horrible little voice creeps in.
pre nastyness and injury i did used to talk to myself on the bike. often some kind of system check talking myself through how i was doing, if anything hurt etc... every hour or so.
i think ive only ever hit one proper zen moment, on a 4hr gorrick race, alone a long way in, autumn leaves blowing across the trail and light slanting through the trees. realised i didnt actually know the last time id had a thought i was so in the zone. It was amazing. tried recreating it but never manage to get back. it may have only been 10 minutes but it was amazing
Interesting topic I definitely have it in different forms. Sometimes it's a jumbled abstract stream of consciousness made up of thoughts, ideas and memories (kind of verbal daydreaming). Sometimes it's more angel/ devil on your shoulder fully formed suggestions.
For me it can get more negative and noisy at times of stress, but can also be used to help solve problems and inner conflict by playing out possible scenarios and outcomes, and making decisions based on them.
I'm not really a religious or spiritual person, but what I find interesting is how on one level it can be easily explained as just an extension or part of your thought process, though on another the ideas and thoughts can occasionally seem so separate from your own you think where do they come from. My logical self tells me the monologues are just other aspects of myself, but sometimes it feels like I am tapping into some kind of collective consciousness.
I suppose its akin to when writers, lyricists or poets say they have fully formed ideas for books, songs or poems just pop into their heads.
Too right.
I usually find that the only way of getting any sensible discussion or intelligent conversation is to talk to myself.
... surrounded by idiots in the real world.
I do and I’ve always just presumed everyone is the same.
One internal 'voice' is fairly normal. Also, being able to control it to a large degree is fairly normal.
It's when you have multiple voices, multiple monologues in different styles, that are not in control, that you might need to worry.
I dont have an internal monologue and i am incredibly jealous of those that do.
All my thoughts come out of my mouth, unless i specifically try not to. This makes it very difficult in certain situations but one is that i find it incredibly hard to prepare myself for things. I can think them over but its more of a logical if this then that process as opposed to what if.
Very similar to @greyspoke. I often have lengthy 'conversations' (sometimes out loud) with myself while out on the bike, and use it in a very similar way, to work out answer to complex issues, to try out ideas, to understand stuff.
Often find its very useful way to come to a conclusion about stuff.
^ same thing when road/gravel riding. MTB is more focussed on the 'now'. The need for thinking time or the need to have thinking-free time probably dictates the type of riding I do on that day more than I'd realised. I also walk more these days and find it's great for getting through work-related thoughts and plans, more so than riding. Walking really helps the monologue or thought process.
Yes I have an internal monologue, it's often very detailed. It often remains internal . As soon as I try to express it in speech or writing that's when the f%$& ups begin.
Monologue? Dialogue/triologue/random chat plus images and feelings, certainly not everything is internally or orally verbalised.
Anyway, someone will doubtless correct me because I've never done an advanced driver course, but I understand that part of it involves is saying what you see ahead and around you by way of potential hazards etc, as a way of being focussed in the moment and not being distracted. I can see this being similar to the way some people mutter to themselves as a way of increasing focus on a task - is that an internal mon0logue.
Also related, try an experiment some time: speak out loud to someone on any topic, even this one, and you'll see your speech comes out in short six secondish burst, interspersed by similar phases of more hesitant speech. Not many people will know exactly what word they're going to say next until it comes out of their mouths, but it's as if during the hesitant phase you're planning the next fluent burst. Unless you're a rapper and have memorised the whole thing. There's a lot going on in our heads we're not aware of.
More interesting is some people lack a ‘minds eye’ where they cannot picture anything in their heads. Faces, places etc etc. cannot imagine what that would be like
Saw that in the Guardian a few weeks back and was going to post it on here.
Turns out I don't really have one, I can describe things but I can't picture them in any detail. Likewise people, I can't actually picture my wife, even though I see her everyday. Just normal to me. If I ever had to describe her, eg for missing person etc, I'd really struggle to recall her face as I just can't see it.
I have an internal monologue but it isn't always thoughts, it is often music, especially on waking up and before my mind is fully in gear. I will just wake up and some random song I have heard recently will just be on repeat in my head.
I too don't have a mind's eye. I can pretty accurately describe an image or person in words but I can't see anything. I always thought that "picture this" was a poetic way of getting people to come up with such a description, bit of a shock that most people can! When I'm imagining things it's still in words with perhaps a tiny idea of pictures.
Perhaps that's why I hate PowerPoint? Or perhaps it's because most presentations are rubbish!
My current internal monologue is practicing what precisely I’m going to say to the rest of the band at the end of tonight’s gig when I tell them I’m resigning!
I have it quite badly and its getting worse and more negative as I get older which isn't ideal.
Sometimes it spills out and it can be very weird for anybody around me who clearly hasn't been part of the first part of the conversation in my head but is now being talked to by me as if they have (if that makes any sense). This can be very trying for the other person who can't work out why I'm angry/emotional/loving with them. I guess its a bit like if you dream about someone, say your wife and they piss you off/do something nice. Then you wake up and talk to them as if it really happened.
Its very tiresome and I've lost friends over it. Alcohol makes it much worse.
I can't remember the last time I had a full nights sleep.
If by an internal monologue we mean 'thinking about things' then yeah. I don't have conversations with myself, but barely a minute goes by when I'm not thinking about some random thing or multiple things at the same time, usually completely unrelated to whatever I'm trying to do at any moment. Sometimes I wonder if I have undiagnosed ADHD. I've spent most of my life figuring out strategies for blocking it all out, especially at night when I can't bloody sleep. The best one I've found is alcohol. It's literally the only thing that works. 😳
Yes, I have internal monologue, but of I listened to it then I'd never do anything.
After doing a bit if research, I'm surprised to discover that not everyone thinks verbally. I'd like to experience thinking visually but I'm not sure it's something you can easily change as an adult.
My inner voice is normally reactionary to my sensory input, and is normally ignored or edited before I actually speak or act. I think I'll be in trouble if technology starts being able to mind read.
Reading through all the posts and this one has really made me think about abstract art and how it's made.
thoughts should just be abstract images
I assumed that abstract artists created their art to represent the point they wanted to make, turning their thoughts into a visual piece, not an actual copy of a scene from their mind, all because they think visually.
It seems quite busy in my head, full blown conversations with myself, sometimes several different topics at the same time, occasionally this spills out of my mouth too, mostly when I'm on my own (but not always) or walking the dog, I can pass it off as talking to Barney then 😀
Occasionally I can sit down and there's absolute silence, not a single thought passing through, lovely.
I don’t think my thoughts are generally verbalised. I can have an internal monologue, but I don’t spontaneously think in words unless I’m considering a verbal question. I can also switch languages at will for that internal monologue between the handful of languages I speak, but I find verbal thinking is a distraction and a hindrance to abstract, mathematical, and spatial thinking so I tend not to deliberately use it. I don’t think about it much, but every time I scroll past this topic on the forum up pops an internal monologue asking whether I have an internal monologue, which is pretty jarring and a bit distracting.
I suppose this might be to do with language development. I can remember switching languages in my dreams to English at about seven or eight years old, but I’ve been at least bilingual all my life. In that context I guess it would be weird for a specific language to be intrinsic to thought.
My son was looking very happy with himself so I asked what he was smiling at. His reply......its the voices, they are telling jokes.
Don't know if I should laugh or call a shrink
