[Closed] Dating tips for a middle aged man - please!

ok, add it to the list - cooking!

Odd, but I can and I do, things are looking up 🙂

😉 Lady!

So i'm a dating advice guru now?

supertramp, I think you've just about got it!

Shibboleth...take watching tv off your profile as a hobby, don't go mad on the MTB as some ladies, so i've heard can be scared off by too much outdoor adventure, make sure your profile pic shows your whole profile and if you're bald don't wear a hat to cover the fact...Heed my advice and you'll get any woman you want...If you believe what you read on t'internet 😀

Point taken Andysbeans... Full head of hair here, and own teeth, I've also included pics with cute kids, swimming with dolphins, skiing in the french alps... Drew the line at stroking a puppy but I've always got that to fall back on.

Thanks for the pointers 😉

can you moonwalk? you really need to be able to moonwalk.

Oh and while i'm on a roll, black and white pics of women (and men) can hide a multitude of sins. Also the same goes for being able to view their full profile, if you can't they're hiding something..in my opinion.

Moonwalk? Depends in what context. Moonwalking on the first date I would suggest is a big no no and a bit wierd. Moonwalking whilst bbq'ing sausage sarnies at the top of a mountain after spending 5 hours climbing it with me I would find hilarious!

Tell me about it... And women claiming to have "athletic" bodytypes when they've clearly been hitting the cake!

And don't get me started on the age liars...

I'm getting sooooo bored of reading "must be tall coz I'm 5'10 and like wearing heels" and "looking for a man that will make me laugh". And EVERY profile says "I like to go out for meals and drinks, but I like a night in with a dvd, bottle of wine and a takeaway..." SO YOU'RE NORMAL!!! Tell me something vaguely interesting!!!

I think I need a break from internet dating... I've even started recognising POFers when I'm out on the town!!!

Haha, I am more than sick of exactly the same!!

Ahem ... It's probably because those of us girls who do more 'interesting stuff' are busy doing that than hanging out on Internet dating sites (and contrary to current appearances STW isn't a dating forum!)

I'd far rather spend my evening biking / bouldering / playing on the beach with the dog, than meeting some unknown guy in a bar feeling that I'm being judged!

Thus I might be single, but I'm having fun and enjoying my life 🙂

*waves to Kev* - how was the pub?

That is true Sue, you can also do both. I ski, I windsurf, I bike like a maniac, I walk, i've enjoyed the unknown of dating. I am a bit knackered though 🙂

Avoid women with an adam's apple.

Good for you Sue, I hope you and your dog are very happy together. 🙄

I don't really think it's your place to wade into a thread about dating on a chat forum and start telling everyone what STW is or isn't. Just a thought, would hate you to come across as "judgemental"

yeah alreet Sue, packed. just had a pint and got my bike back off mate, then down tescos to grapple with my sworn yellow-sticker enemies on aisle 24. I got so many bargains it could be a cooking week rather than a biking week if the weather is rubbish. Me n Elfin have some cooking history. I don't wanna let Wales down!

Avoid women with an adam's apple.

Why's that, then??

Rachel

Cos women shouldn't actually have one..............well, not one that is prominent or visible anyway.

Kev 'me and Elfin have some cooking history' 😯 The mind boggles! I'll contribute to the beer / cheese / cracker requirements, but I'm not getting involved in any London / Wales cook-off ...

Andysbeans - after all of that I think I'd be comatose 🙂

Blows kiss at Shibboleth - my dog and I are very happy thanks 😉

Well, I do. Clearly you're not getting out enough...

Rachel

Please give Elf a hug from me and I look forward to seeing him next month. 😀

[s]That'll start some rumours flying around[/s]

You could well be right there 🙂

beans for elf. I win. 😀

man cannot live on beer/cheese/crackers. oh hang on...

Shibboleth - thanks for offer but am based darn Sarf!

Kev - this means one of has to give Elfin a hug for CG ... was that you volunteering 🙂

No problem Cinnamon. If you ever find yourself oop norf, lakes, lancs etc, I'd be happy to show you around...

Not a date of course, that's not allowed on here according to Sue W 😉

I'll be giving him a hug as soon as he gets off the train anyways CG. haven't seen the mouthy twunt for ages.

Shibboleth - don't let my mutterings get in the way of a good dating opportunity 😉 I'm only on here for the 'what tyre for ...' threads 🙂

Cheers Shibboleth!

Kevevs - I haven't seen him for a couple of months and he hadn't had a good start to the day then. It involved a one way street. 😯

Wow. 14 hours at work later and this is now much better than talking about motorbikes 🙂

To coincide with this thread, one of the girls at work made a point of asking if I was going to her birthday party in a couple of weeks. She also new I wasn't at work that night (or the next day) which, with my odd shifts meant she must have checked!

Then she sprung on me that it was fancy dress and what was my costume going to be? Caught offguard with a mouthful of lettuce and tomato, all I could think of was the old chestnut "oh, I'll be premature ejaculation". Blank look (oh joy she doesn't know it) "yes, I'll be coming in my pants". Bizarrely, she stomped off saying I was disgusting.

I think I'm in 😉

Woody - proper LOL 😆 thanks for making my evening!

Better than the friend who's just suggested riding in a bikini to avoid being humiliated by biking with boys who will be fitter and faster than me 🙂

[img] [/img]

what is this obsession with fitter and faster? it should be about cheaper and more fun!!

er.. quite... however, getting a bit back on topic, after my marriage breakdown earlier this year, I found myself literally inundated by offers from the mums who use to drop their kids off at the primary school. Apparently, someone who takes an active interest in their kids is a bit of an attraction to the opposite sex.

Sadly, non were long term relationship tackle, however it was an eye opener as to how mature ladies operate. I do however know a few couple who met this way.

Woody.. genius...pmsl

Woody, excellent answer!

Though not if you actually wanted to get with said work colleague mind... 😉

Woody you say at work, are you actually in the inbetweeners?

what is this obsession with fitter and faster? it should be about cheaper and more fun!!

I wonder...

We're all (allegedly) cyclists on here so.. Do other blokes think like wot i does? I.E. i always think everyone i meet is going to be so much faster/fitter/more skillful than i am, therefore any ladies who also cycle will be so much better than me they'd look (down) upon me with pity and ride off giggling?

Hmm, perhaps i need to learn to ride! 😆

Do other blokes think like wot i does? I.E. i always think everyone i meet is going to be so much faster/fitter/more skillful than i am, therefore any ladies who also cycle will be so much better than me they'd look (down) upon me with pity and ride off giggling?

yeah, that's me too, pretty much.
but when i was single and looking, i decided that i wasn't really looking for anyone that rides but rather someone who didn't mind my own bike obsession. and it's working out fine so far!

Muddydwarf - it's not just blokes that think wot you does ... girls do too! I rarely ride with guys cos I worry about being too slow / incompetent / ruining their ride etc.

Trouble is, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who didn't do active outdoorsy stuff - just would prefer it if they wouldn't mind sometimes riding at a more social (aka slower 😳 ) pace.

PS - everyone looks down on me - they have no choice cos I'm only 5 ft 🙂

I am reliably informed that women find a sense of humour to be the most attractive thing about a man.

That, and chocolate awareness...

Woody that is brilliant.

I'm not mentioning any names, however there is a couple who met from STW and are going strong and about to move in together - awwww 😀

I'm not mentioning any names, however there is a couple who met from STW and are going strong and about to move in together - awwww

I;m just waiting for the drug he obviously gave her to wear off. 😆

Sue_W, I've got round that problem with a previous mountain biking grrlfriend by sprinting up the hills ahead of her, then turning round and riding back down to meet her again.
By this time she's half way up, so I sprint to the top, turn round and meet her again 3/4 of the way up.
Repeat until we are both at the top together.

I don't suppose it would work for every couple, there's a risk the slower rider might just get demoralised and see it as showing off.
It's a good way for two people of different abilities to have a social ride together while still letting the faster one get some interval training in.

That doesn't sound like fun at all. How would you feel if you rode with a rider who did that to you? So basically you end up climbing on your own. Why not ride with your partner for the whole ride and relax, take your time and enjoy her company?

Sue-W, you'd be able to look down on me 'cos i'm only 5'2" 😳
Actually, of all the things that bother me about my physicality my height is about the last thing i worry about, whether i'm going to end up in a wheelchair is of more concern to me. In fact, my main regret is - due to my medical history - i could never really play rugby, and that is something that hurts.

If the twoi of you ride at different speeds the answer is a tandem 🙂 Lots of fun and it has brought us closer together - the teamwork bit.

Don't work for everyone but it worked for us

I wouldn't want to ride that close to MsD - the thought of her sticking something between my shoulder blades is worrisome, and i don't trust her to steer! 😆

Lowey - some may say he is 'batting above average'. It is not for me to say as they just make a lovely couple.

P.S. I didn't say that ^^^ BTW 😳

Oh yes the tandem thing is very good for couples.

Am I the only person that has concerns about dating another cyclist? Maybe the odd easy spin out to a country pub on a summer's evening would be nice, but for me, mountain biking has always been my opportunity to be all blokey with other blokes, urinating with wild abandon and discussing the merits of ladies' special parts.

When I was married, it was the one place I could guarantee a bit of peace and quiet... A sort of portable garden shed.

That said, I'll try anything once... 😉

So, who's organising this ride then?

I don't suppose it would work for every couple, there's a risk the slower rider might just get demoralised and see it as showing off.

A "risk" Graham!!! 😯

Remind me now, aren't you recently single again! 😉

Hey all,

Well as a female, in general I love riding with guys and I don't give a tot whos faster or slower than me, I just really enjoy myself, even today in the peeing rain and mudfest. 20 of us, mixed gender and mixed ability. It was really good fun!

Dating a biker? I've done it and there was no problem at all. I don't need to be looked after and we both just rode at our own pace, him at the front and me at the back (the only girl in the group)

I agree that if you introduce your partner to your sport for the first time it may cause frictions but as for any problems with dating a biker...poppycock...You just haven't met the right one...

So are you going to volunteer to organise a singles ride Andysbeans?

Yep. Fort william downhill course, xmas day...there! 😆

See you there then 😉

Am I the only person that has concerns about dating another cyclist? Maybe the odd easy spin out to a country pub on a summer's evening would be nice, but for me, mountain biking has always been my opportunity to be all blokey with other blokes, urinating with wild abandon and discussing the merits of ladies' special parts.

+1 my wife uses a wheelchair, i don't want or need a riding companion, i think life would be very dull if yer Mrs followed you around.

Right dating tips:

Don't have a type, be open minded.

Put intelligence above looks.

Ignore the above.

Good luck!

Flip that is rubbish about life being dull if you took your Mrs around. So what am I to do if I meet a biker, bearing in mind I have a lot of MTB friends all over the country. Should I tell him he can't join us incase it makes my ride dull? Or are you just labeling females as the gender who would make any ride dull?

Hey all,

Well as a female, in general I love riding with guys and I don't give a tot whos faster or slower than me, I just really enjoy myself, even today in the peeing rain and mudfest. 20 of us, mixed gender and mixed ability. It was really good fun!

Looked like it! Just been looking at Simon's photos..

*slicks eyebrows*

😛

Just out of interest, is anyone on here a paid up member of Fitness Singles ?

A while ago I was, not on any dating sites now, too busy

being in a relationship with a lady rider is lovely

the trick is finding a lady who enjoys talking about boobs as much as the guys you ride with.

🙂 i'm lucky i think

Recent comments have just reminded me that the Ex's bike is in the cupboard.
I need to rescue it from the cupboard and sort out selling it.

However, to continue the theme. The last one wasn't a cyclist.
She did try off road a few times.
Said she didn't mind it.
But I can't recall her ever mentioning gettings the bikes out if we had some spare time.
Defo fair weather too.
I'd prefer one who did cycle.

And I'm totally never fussed about who is [i]fastest[/i].

Phil. Stop boasting.
😀

Just recently met a quite wonderful woman on plentyoffish. Was at the end of my teather with it, was just about to close the account and concentrate on buying nice toasters when she popped up in the search. Few mails later and we're now 3 weeks in and everything is very very good.

It can be a total head****, I must admit, but the right person is out there for you. You dont need anymore cliches than that.

Col

Col.

Hey, great story.

I'm experiencing similar disappointment on Match.

Guess it must just be timing.

I hope it works out for you two.
😀

Cheers Solo. I'd honestly given up hope. She came and watched me race last Sunday, even at this early stage she is showing an interest in what I do, something that no previous partner ever did.

Keep the chin up Solo, it'll happen.

😀

Shibboleth - Member

Am I the only person that has concerns about dating another cyclist? Maybe the odd easy spin out to a country pub on a summer's evening would be nice, but for me, mountain biking has always been my opportunity to be all blokey with other blokes, urinating with wild abandon and discussing the merits of ladies' special parts.

I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?

Exactly TJ, though it's not a must. This girl I'm with now plays tennis and even though it's her thing, i'll play the odd time with her.

I've convinced her of a trip to Scotland including bike hire for the weekend! 🙂

[i]I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?
[/i]

Goodness me !. I am going to agree with TJ 😯
😉

The Ex and I did as much together as possible.
I chose her company over all others.
But when that couldn't happen, friends picked up the slack, as I'm sure I have for my mates.
Felt balanced in a way that suited all parties.
🙂

We are not joined at the hip and I am able to ride without her. simply put its "I am going for a bike ride - do you want to join me?" she says yes or no

I agree with Shibboleth on that point, its important to have some different pastimes and time away from each other, not that I would exclude a cyclist, but I would still expect to do most of our riding separately.

A couple of rides a week I count as "me" time, I just go out by myself and ride, it helps keep my head clear and stress free.

The [b]Ex[/b] and I did as much together as possible.
I chose her company over all others.

Kind of highlights the possible folly of that approach 😉

[i]Kind of highlights the possible folly of that approach[/i]

Yeah, we were only together for 21 years.
Barely enough time to get to know each other and find out what worked for us.
🙄

TandemJeremy - Member
I fnd this attitude really strange - why would you not want to share and enjoyable part of your life with your partner?

I certainly wouldn't say it's "strange" TJ, but you always did have trouble understanding any view that differed from your own. 😉

I ride with a big group of blokes and there's a bit of an unspoken rule that it's a blokes only group. I suspect it would be frowned upon if one of us turned up with a lady, not just because of the blokey juvenile crap we come out with, but we all ride hard and fast and the chance of meeting a lady that would keep up would probably be quite slim.

I can just predict there would be those awkward instances when a mountain biking lady might expect to be invited along.

I certainly wouldn't rule out someone on that basis, and as I said, social rides out would be great. But going out for a proper competitive lads' lungbuster, complete with all the angry shouty sweary blokiness that goes along with it is something I'd always want to keep separate from "another half".

My previous LTG and I used to sail/race together in Dinghies. We'd Club race and do the Nationals and stuff, and whilst in the main it was super enjoyable, we'd bicker like kittens on quite a few occasions. In some races it'd spoil our racing, on others we'd never say a word to each other and do well, on others we'd just giggle and do quite well. There was no logic for our mood/compatibility whilst in race mode, we never just cruised around, all our time was racing. So, would she want to cruise around, nope, me, nope, we really were far too competitive for mucking around.
Now then, you'd think a very common interest between us both would bring us together, unfortunately after 11yrs it eventually split us up, that and a few other things tbh (but I'll not go into them here)
It's a common symptom this arguing lark, most of my mates have issues with sailing with partners and most have stopped doing just that, they now sail alone, it's just the way it goes.
Now cycling and MrsBouy don't really get on too well. She's into walking and scrabbling up mountains, me I prefer riding them, but we mix up a love of the outdoors and have a happy o'l time doing it. She has been on a spare bike of mine, has hinted about getting something specific for her, but I'm a little reserved about it, she can make her own mind up if she wants/buys one or not. I'm happy either way, I love riding, love riding with mates or solo, not that bothered, but if she wants to do the offroad stuff I do then I'm going to have to think twice about taking her along.. I've yet to take her "offroad" and I'm not too sure how she'll be with me when I'm in offroad mode or in roadie race mode for that matter...
So, we'll see. I'll not pressure, she'll take her time/she’ll choose.
I'm happy, she's happy.

I just recently resubscribed to Fitness Singles.
I had a message from well over a year ago, which I couldn't read at the time as I wasn't a paid up member then, so I replied anyway, 'cos you never know what's happened in the meantime.
I also wrote to the best of the currently active members, who, by coincidence, lives in the same town as the other one.
After a couple of emails, it turned out they had the same surname too.

I'd been chatting up two twin sisters at the same time. 😳

I'd been chatting up two twin sisters at the same time.

Haha, you should have kept going, tested out that "special bond"... 😉

I don't know what the twins expected to happen. Wouldn't be embarassed for that, they're probably well aware of the potential mixups and are having a giggle about it.

My friend and I were both on there, we had some of the same guys contact us (nothing wrong with that BTW), we did find it worthy of a few laughs between friends 🙂

Shibboleth - and with that attitude I can see why you are single.

If any potential life partner has to take second place after your lads time then any relationship is doomed.

To make a relationship work takes compromise and goodwill. 30 years we have been together. I can have my lads time and she never stops me from doing anything I want but it is inconceivable to me to exclude her from anything

TandemJeremy - Member

Shibboleth - and with that attitude I can see why you are single.

🙄 As I said earlier, you really do have a massive problem seeing other people's viewpoints, don't you.

I sympathise wholeheartedly with what bikebouy experienced, and I can easily see how it could become problematic.

I'm single through choice, and the only reason my biking habits haven't become a problem is that I haven't met any biking girls that I've wanted to date.

I'm very happy that you've been together so long, at least you've not been spoiling another couple!

[i]If any potential life partner has to take second place after your lads time then any relationship is doomed[/i]

this is so much crap. MY GF and me have hugely different interests, OK she rides (roadie) and reluctantly runs occassionally, but she loves nothing more than reading a book about maths or physics with nothing but the ticking of a clock as company, if I start playing the guitar or put music on she gives me *the look* LOL, or shopping, she LUVS to shop drives me insane with boredom, so i go out with my housemate or his friends to the pub or cycling. I luv her desperately and so does she, but we realised that we have different interests. Our relationship isn't doomed!!