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You Spastic!
Nothing can match the glorious heights of "Fud!" 😆
T@@T , said with a bit of venom .
Out with the uni club today, and we got cut up by a white van man. Most of us just stuck middle fingers up or quietly gritted teeth, but one guy bellowed from the back: "ARE YOU LITERALLY HITLER?!"
Proper lol @ perchypanther! 😆
Just watching the HBO series Deadwood. They must use the insult '****' 50 times an episode. This is my favourite insult at the moment
Buttercup
"Needs a drop of thinners"
Seen on a wall in the portsmouth historic dockyard - i.e. he's a bit thick.
Fud is very good. numpty I use but when I remember "thrombus" is good as it confuses folk. It means bloody clot or " hope yer next craps a pineapple" to mouthy drivers
My youngest wrote 'custard' on the board in the kitchen the other day, only her 's' looked more like an 'n' .
Winner.
As in "you're a ****ing winner!"
My husband has just called me a stinky faggot...admittedly, with good reason 😳
"Muppet", "Spanner" or "Doofus" - depending on how affectionately they're being used.
(I'm the kind of sad coward who'll just slink away if genuinely riled - and then think of a brilliant smack-down that I should have used half an hour later)
Twerp
You plum.
Said particularly vehemently.
Being scottish, I don't need to piss around, I can call you a dick and you'll feel as if you've had every other insult in the thread multiplied together and then concentrated. It's just delivery really. Ya dick.
I think a Scottish accent is an ideal partner for insults and swear words. You'd probably be safe to use the majority of the insults posted on this thread, and still sound credible.
I'm not sure how I'd feel if someone called my a "cockwomble" in a whiney, slightly posh, southern accent. Not insulted though.
I need to note some of these to call prisoners at work.
'Buffoon' is a fave, as is 'arsewipe'
Div
Ringpiece
Tool
Cock
Tosser
Start with 'Fing' or 'Cing' when appropriate.
It's a bit long but....
You empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
It's multicultural too as you can do it with a silly French accent.
I quite like "prat" and "pillock" too. I'm really trying to keep the mouthiness rained in though. I'm not sure it really helps anyone.
shitlips
Moop!
Berk is an underused classic.
Chimp seems to be favoured at my workplace ATM.
Nothing wrong with a straight to the point '****' either 😉
'I am most displeased'
Russian and Yiddish are a fertile ground for colourful insults, "Yob tvoyiu mat!" basically "go (have sexual relations with) your mother" is pretty good, "putz, yutz, schmuck, schmoo" are short and to the point.
****-wit and shit-for-brains are my two most-used
http://www.youswear.com/?language=Russian
I tend to favour "cretinous little muppet" in most cases - anything stronger is reserved for morons in tin cans who have just tried to kill me...
"Richard"head if I'm being dismissive, or F'ing "Richard"head. See You Next Tuesday if I mean it - the brevity and the shock elevate it to having impact in almost any situation, even in a country that practically uses four letter words as punctuation.
Felcher
Bellwhiff
I'm liking "Yer Da sells Avon" at the moment.
Douche Canoe.
Arsehole. Oldie but a goldie.
Scunner,Bounder,Cad & Mrs Cluck, are used when children are present ,obvs.:-)
My son once insulted his dad with: "You're a banana and four pears!" when he was little
😀
diseased rhinoceros pizzle
Shitbird, heard for the first time in ages on the telly the other night, will be getting used soon!
RM.
Arse munch
I was wondering what mine was, then I shouted "You Pleb!" at someone.
Pleb? How is that offensive coming from the mouth of a pleb? 😆
My Estonian friend told me they have an insult that basically means "excuse me but I think your mother still owes me money for the sex she had with my dog". Bit longwinded for general use though.
Also, I really enjoyed a twitter description of Michael Gove during the latter stages of the EU referendum 'debate' which was him looking "like a haunted pork mannequin".
Lastly, learning Welsh at the moment, I enjoy "tumfatt" which means fool.
I quite like ****-knuckle, but a favourite in a while was a satirist caption describing Donald! and Farage as a "pair of thundering ****-trumpets"
See also a tweet describing Donald! as a "haunted spunk-trumpet"
W##kstain is the current favourite.
Just read one on FB in which Jeremy Hunt is termed a 'dribbling ****tard' 😛
(Sounds like Dribbling retard)
i'm a big fan of 'halfwit' at the moment.
A favourite of mine at the moment is "piss ant"
One of the lads came out with this cracka the other day to one of the other lads: "you've got a vein of pure idiot running straight through you mate"
I was ill laughing
Also, I really enjoyed a twitter description of Michael Gove during the latter stages of the EU referendum 'debate' which was him looking "like a haunted pork mannequin".
Apropos the pictures of him alongside Trump, I described him as looking like a pile of wet lips.
Arse flake and monkey toucher winning for me at the moment. Awaiting a suitable deployment opportunity...
<mod>can we be a little careful with the swears please, the filter isn't very good with portmanteau swearing we've had to remove several posts now. Ta. </mod>
Just read one on FB
I've just seen one on Facebook referring to Gove as a "lackwit lickspittle," which is just beautiful.
IHN - MemberAgain, what about 'pooftah' or 'fairy'? Or 'homo'? 'Bender', what about that?
It's spelt "poofter", you turgid melt.
Don't forget gaylord either.