Could enough chicke...
 

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[Closed] Could enough chickens peck you to death?

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At a petting farm yesterday, I got to thinking, so?


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:33 pm
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It's like that other thought experiment. How many 5 years olds do you reckon you could defend yourself from, before being overwhelmed?


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:35 pm
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I could take on more chickens than 5 year olds

HTH


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:36 pm
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Smear yourself in honey and corn, and head off to experiment?
I can check the tabloid headlines for next week or so.


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:36 pm
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I reckon that one determined chicken could manage, if you were suitably restrained.

Lucky for us that chickens are crap at tying knots with their wings (or locking handcuffs, or using syringes) - so we're safe for the time being.

The syringe thing also answers the question of why there are so few heroin addict chickens.


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:39 pm
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when I was a teenager my mums chickens used to go for my face. Nasty silkies.

My chickens are well behaved, do what they're told and don't even peck my toes anymore!


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:40 pm
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chickens raised in chicken sheds are usually de beaked, to stop them pecking each other to death, thus loosing money for the farmer.

the waste beaks are used in..........


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:46 pm
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'peck the eyes right oot o yer ****in heid'

definately NSFW!!


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:48 pm
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At a petting farm yesterday

Did you not read the sign?

[img] ?1291298062[/img]


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:49 pm
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:52 pm
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pmsl@ yunki, yep, that looks like it might just manage it!


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 8:59 pm
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Yes, I actually think one could. Just don't expect it to cross the road to do so.


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 9:00 pm
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I think Yunki's chicken could stare you to death.


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 9:05 pm
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[img] ?stmp=1307426594[/img]


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 9:07 pm
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All chickens are evil, hate the little fu**ers


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 9:09 pm
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There are some 'orrible chickens out there, probably possible if you stayed still for long enough.


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 9:18 pm
 emsz
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thats a biiiiiggggg chicken LOL


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 9:20 pm
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chickens can't harm you

unless a swan has already broken your arms


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 9:23 pm
 grum
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thats a biiiiiggggg chicken LOL

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 9:29 pm
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That big chicken is a Brahma, gentle as anything. But we have had some knee-high roosters that would go for you. Especially if you were dressed as another cockerel.


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 10:35 pm
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my friend's mum has chickens.the bantams are hilarious (the male walks like john wayne 😆


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 10:41 pm
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what stuffing for 12ft chicken?
sage 'n' onion?
parsley 'n' thyme
or l33t stw homebrew organic breadcrumbs 'n' tofu?


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 10:43 pm
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[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 10:46 pm
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Yunki's chicken looks a bit scary. We just got 5 chickens yesterday, they are pretty cheeky, but not vicious (yet). A guy in south wales was blinded by an injured seagull, a horrible story.

In a similar vein to the chicken question I was surrounded by sheep once, they came at me from all angles and surrounded me as I was trying to take a shortcut home on a ride. I was pretty scared and tried to threaten them with my bike, waving it around madly, it just made the look in their eyes even more malevolent. I was thinking how many of the wooly w@nkers I could fend off before being overwhelmed, I reckon 2 maybe 3 tops. Chickens, well..... if you had eye protection, or a full crash helmet I reckon you could take out maybe 100/200 before you got tired and they got to your veins and major arteries. Free range chickens would be stronger, due to the exercise, they'd beat you down faster than a caged hen.

I might go and pick a fight with ours, see if they back down, or if they reckon that they can take me out, there must be algorithm that I could apply to make my research valid even thou I only have 5 chickens, a bike helmet and a stopwatch.


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 10:58 pm
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That big chicken is a Brahma, gentle as anything

clearly not, as the photo shows... that chicken is wreaking pandemonium on a busy urban street.. if it was 'as gentle as anything' as you claim, it would be nursing the fleeing Mo Farah in it's ample bosom and politely requesting an autograph..
although perhaps on second look it does have an expression of remorse on it's face..

I stand corrected


 
Posted : 16/09/2012 11:10 pm
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clearly not, as the photo shows... that chicken is wreaking pandemonium on a busy urban street..

Clearly, yunki, I was referring to your first photo 😉
As any fool would see, the chicken in your second photo is a Buff Orpington: large and none too bright. Mo Farah appears to have got between it and a good feed.


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 3:24 am
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Fact: chickens (all birds actually) are the nearest living descendants from dinosaurs.


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 5:40 am
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Who is Will Patrons?


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 6:37 am
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 7:43 am
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Who is Will Patrons?

Not sure, but I know Kindly Refrain is an American golfer.


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 7:48 am
 anjs
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Well did not have too much trouble with this fox

http://www.****/news/article-1254900/Revenge-chicken-Three-hens-cockerel-named-Dude-peck-fox-death-broken-coop.html


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 8:54 am
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Chickens a greedy little gits and if you were there prone they'd have you in a snap - peck peck peck. But if you are up and able to defend yourself then no.


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 9:55 am
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But if you are up and able to defend yourself then no.

Is what my wife said, but what if they kept coming? You would start to tire, they would start to get the upper hand, you'd be dead meat.


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 10:51 am
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On the assumption you couldn't run or use a weapon, I reckon 10 angry regular chickens could do someone over.

The ice cream parlour/farm near us has these huge things. I reckon one of those could mug me for a mint choc chip without too much trouble. I'd worry for the effect on my young son though, seeing his Dad get a public kicking from a hen. It would be an unwinable battle from a human point of view, cos if you punched the hens lights out that wouldn't go down well and actually be quite hard as they seem to be just a big ball off feathers and your fist would go through them while it pecked at your eyes.

Best to back down me thinks.


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 11:02 am
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This is why I love this forum,
You ask a sensible equipment question regarding a mountain bike on a mountain bike forum, and you either get one response or several sarcastic responses.
Ask whether a load of chickens could peck you to death and you get 35 (and counting) responses. 🙂 Gawd bless ya Singletrack ha ha
I may register on henkeepers website forum and ask about compression damping on a Rockshox revelation and see what happens 🙂


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 11:31 am
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I love this sort of thread, proper food for thought.

Don't get the Damned reference though. Please enlighten.


 
Posted : 17/09/2012 12:02 pm