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Whoever said one person can't change the world never ate an undercooked bat
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A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says,
"There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
It's not just your hands you need to wash. How about your pets?
Who knows what diseases they are bringing into the house.
I got this tip from a reliable source:
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My girlfriend just told me she's downloaded a yoga app.
I said, "helpful that will be, yes."
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I was in Tesco earlier & I saw a guy buying a sombrero, a piƱata & some paella. I thought to myself - Hispanic buying.
Giant pandas sending twelve hours a day eating.
So do quarentined humans.
This is wh it's called a pandameic
If you decide to split up with your partner during lockdown, throw them out at 8pm on a Thursday so they get the idea that the whole street hates them, too...
