FFS, I thought Life was a Rollercoaster ? Now I'm confused !
There's element's of a balancing act too
- you need some stress to actually get things done (I can be quite productive whilst internally seething)
Too much stress becomes debilitating but also too little.
Depression is, IME, a separate thing around sensitivity to stress. What triggers an individual can be a wide variety of things and our society can be quite hypocritical about it.
However, particularly on darker days a Zen Buddhist story (I have no idea where from) often rattles thru' my mind...
A buddhist upon hearing that his Buddhist Master has achieved enlightenment/nirvana runs to meet his master. Upon seeing his Master he rushes out the question
"Master, what is like now that you are enlightened?"
His Master looks at him and with a broad smile says
"Hmmm, much the same; I'm still as miserable as ever."
a Zen Buddhist story (I have no idea where from)
[url= http://ask.metafilter.com/215112/Now-that-Im-enlightened-Im-just-as-miserable-as-ever ]Here you go[/url]
thanks MalvernRider 🙂
My #1 suggestion for a more contented life would be to ditch the TV.
+1
it's amazing the amount of time you suddenly find for stuff you've been meaning to do but never got around to.
I'm generally content despite being a stressful occupation. I put it down to knowing that bad things always pass. Many moons ago someone suggested I jot down all my fears and woes for a month and then revisit the list 6 months later, I did so. As it turned out of all the things I'd noted only one became a serious issue and I'd already dealt with it by the time I revisited the list. Most of what we worry about never happens and when it does it's usually surmountable. My life's not perfect by any means but it could be a great deal worse.
My #1 suggestion for a more contented life would be to ditch the TV.
And STW obviously. This place highlights the stuff in the tabloid press that TV editors would consider unsuitable then adds members' personal experiences (and the dreadful stuff that happens to their friends too).
TV is good for me. I wouldn't say it's a major detractor in life.
Endlessly watching shite is bad for you, but there are better ways to watch TV. Same goes for anything - literature is "supposed" to be great but you could be reading Mills and Boon or you could be reading James Joyce.
My life's not perfect by any means but it could be a great deal worse.
Well said. Same goes for us all really. In addition I'd offer ( to the room) that life is something to be more explored and experienced, rather than trying to achieve some kind of 'perfect' state. 'Perfection' is a mirage, life isn't preserved in aspic it's fluid, painful, joyful. Also, having goals is one thing but from personal experience I note if not careful they can soon become weights around the neck whispering 'if only' - ie if 'only I had so and so...' 'If only I could afford...'
Do what you love even if it pays small. Doing those things which we love doing is a fine goal in and of itself, but I really think many of us would be surprised to discover that often what we tell ourselves we enjoy doing and what we really enjoy doing are not necessarily the same thing.
And if we spent all our time pursuing one thing how then might we know what would really make our trail come alive?
I may think a new Audi/wife would make me truly happy but in the untold story of my life it was, all along, a set of paints and the scents of nature and canvas. But I wouldn't know that if keeping the Audi on the road took all of my working hours, or the other hours were spent driving the Audi, watching TV etc. Who was it that said stuff ends up owning us? TRUE! I have to watch it with the bikes....in fact yes 🙂 😀
...rather than trying to achieve some kind of 'perfect' state. 'Perfection
You know, I spend much angst wanting to live in a tidy house, with a working wife and two kids logically I know it won't happen, but it still pains me. An example of a small thing that grows into a big thing because I agonise over it for ages.
A tidy house is the sign of a diseased mind though 😉
I think sometimes you have to let the feelings come up and run their course, they eventually die down and go away. It is only when you consciously try to control/stop these feelings that problems arise. You are then consciously trying to control your feelings which you cannot do. Take 30 mins each day, sit down in a quiet room, close your eyes and let your mind think whatever it wants without consciously trying to solve it/stop it etc. it will be uncomfortable at first, but as you consciously let go you return to a more balanced state over a few months.
Helped cure me anyway from anxiey and some depression.
Other thing is to do things you enjoy more, new hobbies, travel, new clubs.
I look at life and think "FFS, at least I'm not dead/terminal/crippled" etc.Even this year we lost a house sale as we had a 40m wide lake lapping at our doorstep for a week, it was 24" deep and about 3mm from flooding. But you know what, there were people 1 mile away who HAD flooded, lost their posessions, home, etc. We were lucky. Once you see the positive aspect, it's all good.
I'm also the eternal optimist, I believe because of the person I am, good things will eventually come. They've now fixed the flooding/drains, our house exchanged last week and we're buying our dream home. It's all good.
you weren't seeing the positive aspect when it happened though! seem to recall much venting iirc 😛
