[Closed] Buggering your life up?

My mate cheated on his missus for about 8 years with 2 different mistresses. His missus is smoking hot as well. He is just an idiot.

Against all the odds they managed to keep it together and now seem happyish.

pigface your mate obviously has a prostigious sexdrive. Most STW'ers struggle to pull themselves.

My mate's squad wiped out a colony of seals (or something like 'em anyway) in the Falklands cos in the dark they looked like blokes that had balaclavas on "and were whispering in Spanish"

Blubber and flippers everywhere apparently

Yep. I basically worried so much about others I forgot to look after myself. I made major life decisions to keep others happy and screwed myself in the process. Now trying to come to terms with it and salvage something.

OP- buggering your life up would be:

Smacking your wife/partner- Police called. Then hitting the bottle bigtime, getting behind the wheel of a car and being caught for drunk driving. Thus loosing family and any sort of job prospect.

I dont think you are anywhere near any of those stages. Man up, there are far far worse people in shit out there 🙂

yep as Hora said, could be worse, you could be him.

No, what have you done?
Will it make me happy or sad to hear?
Hope you sort it out either way, apart from your choice of mate, you always seem OK on here.
Chin up and all that.

I seem to be Binners, if its any consolation short of setting myself alight whilst pouring a glass of water I doubt I could **** things up anymore than I am!!

richc - Member

yep as Hora said, could be worse, you could be him.

As with Dante's seven levels of hell you could be richc, pastey and slight-build with no chance of being laid willingly by anything remotely female 😆

Nice to know I'm a not on my own. I'm presently surveying the smouldering wreckage

pastey and slight-build

I wish, pasty may'be, but certainly not pastey and slight of build.

How old are you binners? as unless you are in your late fifties, you have a lot more of your life to live. So there is no way you have ****ed it all up, just a small part hasn't gone to plan.

Got caught smuggling inflatable beachballs did you lad? 😉

On the plus side I've lost about 2 stone due to the stress. Every cloud eh? 🙂

Hmmm were to start lets just say i made a mess of everything relationships money and health, i am now fat, flat boke, single and lonely
anytime anyone gets even remotly close to me now friends or loved ones i instinctivly push them away to the despair of those that really care about me as i am one of the most loving and caring people you will find.
But i am on the mend, sorting debts out, riding again and loosing weight, probably never have a relationship again but you cant have everything. some days i sit here and laugh at just how much of an idiot i have been then go for a ride and make myself feel better.

Binners.

You are in your 30's? Check
Lovely healthy kids? Check
A quantifiable skillset? Check

Do you have a criminal conviction? No.
Do you have a drug addiction? No.

Your on a ****ing winner mate- things are bad at the moment- but they are bad for most people in a big recession. Look at the positives fella 🙂

when im stressed i just eat more, double fail.
if i couldnt eat when stressed id be a rake..

Mate of mine married a bunny boiler.

He was told by all his mates not to do it - we all knew she " had issues" - two years of hell later he is now divorcing. he is a mild chap but with a bit of a temper hidden deep down - she used to enjoy winding him up until he snapped - police called to the flat several times, black eyes each - that sort of thing.

Everyone but him saw it coming.

My mate's squad wiped out a colony of seals (or something like 'em anyway) in the Falklands cos in the dark they looked like blokes that had balaclavas on "and were whispering in Spanish"

Blubber and flippers everywhere apparently

Now I do like seals but that's very very funny.

It is funny, but it did bugger up his military career quite dramatically for years. He pretty much breaks down in tears if you clap and make seal noises at him.

🙂

Maybe they were American Navy Seals?

igmc.

Yep, the stress induced weight loss is a bonus.

"whispering in Spanish" - love it 🙂

An old friend of mine-

Moving to Bangkog, enjoyed the seedier side of life for a few years, meeting a local lady, falling in love, getting her pregnant, do right thing, sorting marriage and UK papers, finding out Kid isnt yours, back to UK, live with parents and becoming medically blind. Discovering ex from school on Fvckbook and moving in with her and her kids.

my best mate from school died, at 21, from bad skag in a public toilet, with his girlfriend,19, leaving behind her 1 year old baby.

****ed up.

[i]My mate's squad wiped out a colony of seals (or something like 'em anyway) in the Falklands cos in the dark they looked like blokes that had balaclavas on "and were whispering in Spanish"

Blubber and flippers everywhere apparently [/i]

Funniest thing I've read on here in a while! 🙂
Just off to swap my coffee stained keyboard with that of an off-work colleague...

Glad to have been of help:)

I got involved with a Woman (enough said at this point really) however I'll go on, Remortgaged my house to pay off her quite considerable personal debt, invited her to live with me even had two children with her. I then ended the relationship with her as i was fed up of constantly fighting and by this time she had acrued another massive debt. She claims half of everything I have worked hard for and pays off said debt then heads off to NZ (her home) with the kids. I follow her to NZ so I can stay in contact with the kids, she refuses me access, claims I'm a paedophile, I'm arrested in a foreign country and bailed no access to the kids. after several months case goes to court. I have to find money for criminal lawyer I'm cleared of all charges and can now proceed with family court proceedings to establish access to my kids, I now have to find money for a family court solicitor. Small amount of contact with kids is established through court, whilst waiting for hearing. 18 months pass we go to court I win shared care. The EX doesn't like this but Judges orders are final (or perhaps not)
Incidently during all this time she's claiming child support from me even though she won't let me see the children.
Ex then(falsely) accuses me of assaulting her (this is her way around the judges final orders) NZ has a huge domestic violence problem and government has campaigned for years on zero tolerance, Important also to note at this point that NZ has no equivalent of the CPS in the UK and cases will be heard in court regardless of the quality/reliability of any evidence.
Anyway so the case regarding child access is re-opened, I have to find criminal lawyer again we go to court, I'm cleared of any criminal wrong doing although same case has to be brought in Family Court. Another anomaly of the NZ system. this hearing has been postponed once and is currently awaiting re:appointment.I'm 40 next year I no longer have any assets, have a huge legal bill and I rent a house which is sparsely furnished with 2nd hand stuff and drive car worth nothing. So in terms of buggering up my life (although strictly speaking it has been done to me) it's not a bad job. what say you?

On the bright side I currently see my kids 6 days out of every fourteen, more in the holidays and I love them and that time like nothing else!

Got jilted at the alter a few years ago, hit the sauce big time, self esteem went through the floor. Stupidly, when she begged me to go back to her, I did because I thought it was easier to salvage the wreckage of my life than rebuild it. How wrong was I???

Pissed my family off and set myself up for years of anguish. Actually married her 2 years ago, found out she couldn't have kids, far too much anger and bitterness to deal with it so moved out earlier this year.

Got a petition for divorce on Monday, I'm surprised none of you have heard the rumours - I'm the biggest b@stard ever to walk the earth. Well, that's basically what the petition says.

So, living in a flat above my office while she lives a relatively comfortable life in my house, with my furniture etc. I'm looking down the barrel of around 8 grand's worth of solicitors bills and a rather drawn out legal fist fight.

And guess what... I've never been happier! There's a new Mrs Our Souls on the scene and she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. So yeah, I've made a right pig's ear of my life, but all I can do is laugh! 😆

Upto my neck in tax debt, loosing a business..cheating on the missus, unable to do my books for fear of owing vat man as well, typical head in the sand syndrome also undergoing tests for a genetic terminal illness to see if I am showing signs yet...other than that life is sweet! 😀 Ive lost weight fitter and to great sons although one is Autistic and we worry more about his future,but this missus isnt so hostile towards me these days (happy days). Don't get on with my Parents or sister. Other than that life is good. 😀

royston, your side of that story is truly harsh on you. hope you continue to have a great and improving relationship with your kids.

Blimey makes my not being able to afford to buy forks for the bouncy bike seems almost, almost trivial..

There's degrees of up-ballsing aren't there, at different levels of the game. Clearly if you die aged 10 you've ballsed up pretty badly, but the full dramatic potential of a life gone hopelessly wrong isn't there.

With binners, what we're going to hear is that he was a happy child, from a good family, that he went to university, garnered qualifications, fell in love, got married, built up a business doing IT consultancy, loved his bicycles, had beautiful children, stayed fit and healthy, went for long rides with his best friend Hora, loved his mother, kept rabbits on a farm. And. Then. Suddenly. Received a letter out of the blue from someone, telling him that they knew. They knew about the furtive Friday night stops in secluded carparks, the corsets, the fumbled frottage in exchange for cocaine-stained £20 notes in pizza restaurant lavatories, the midget bondage and the cock-rot. And they'll tell. They'll tell his clients, they'll tell his lovely wife, they'll tell his mother, they'll publish a picture book about it aimed at children of the age his are and give it away free in Waterstones at the Arndale. Unless he gives them money. Lots, and lots of money. More money than he can afford. He pays it for a while, doing as they ask. But cracks appear. The cancelled holidays, the presents he can't buy. No more muller light in the fridge. That kind of thing. It starts to spiral out of control. Lying, covering for himself. And then suddenly he snaps...

My mate's squad wiped out a colony of seals (or something like 'em anyway) in the Falklands cos in the dark they looked like blokes that had balaclavas on "and were whispering in Spanish"

So basically they opened fire on sleeping Argies on the beach who didn't return fire?

Nice 🙂

Weed. Hmmm, weed is a problem for me. After 15 years of smoking the stuff you'd have thought I'd have grown out of it but it hasn't happened despite all the good intentions.

I somehow managed to **** my hips up at the age of 33 and can no longer ride a bike. Surely thats worse than simple woman trouble?

Royston, what ever happens children are very switched on and know who is a good parent and who is a bad en, if not now they will when they are older.

****ing grim story but its good you see the pan lids 😀

BigDummy, Binners is a designer not an IT bod. Apart from that....

An old school friend of mine (however I havent seen him for 5 years or so, even though he still lived within a couple of miles of me) was a thoroughly nice and kind, very intelligent and likeable lad. Ended up with a nice partner, was due his first child, nice house in the posh part of town, good job.
However what he also had that not many knew about was some considerable debt and a bird on the side that he had fallen head over heels with. Instead of walking away from his pregnant missus and new baby, and somehow addressing his debt issues, he decided on a rash plan to fake a break in at his own house, and batter his wife to death with a hammer, getting shut of her and claiming life insurance etc.
However he clearly bottled it after the first head blow, she survived as did the baby, he got found out and has just been sentenced to 25 years for attempted murder and attempted child destruction.

Serious lack of rational thought from a guy you'd have unwittingly marked as one of lifes nice guys ! Ending in what could be best described as a life destroying Fudge up of chart topping proportions

Any story which includes the words "so he decided to batter his wife to death with a hammer and claim the insurance" is surely a contender here... 😯

I described what seemed like a fairly typical weekend for me and the family once (no unusual disasters, just the day-to-day **** ups that seem to form our lives) and they, in all seriousness, commented that we ought to be part of a sit-com as nothing of note ever happened to them (which they seemed to think was a good thing but that struck me as slightly sad)

There's clearly people on this thread who have real problems but I think a lot of people think life is treating them harshly because it doesn't meet their expectations rather than because there's anything intrinsically wrong with it.

I went to school with this guy:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6496885.stm

He's f*cked it up really, really badly.

She's married now, I'll say that much.

Wow
How can you ever think that the solution is killing the mother of your unborn child.
Clearly nuts and a sad story.

Wow, this thread has improved my mood today! 😀

Mind you, the thread title was a bit of a give away...

I married the most beautiful woman I've ever seen

Then she divorced me

For which i will be forever grateful,

Thank you sweetie 🙂

Well I was about to have a little moan, but I dont think I'd qualify having read this now.

Chin up Binners mate... sorry to hear your having a hard time.

Royston, that story is just horrendous. Credit to you for keeping going mate.

Always look on the bright side of life... de dum de dum de dum de dum..always look on the bright side of life...

Big Dummy. I ****ing love you. That's just given me the best laugh I've had in ages. And frightening accurate. NBT has already picked up on your one error

In one 5 min phone call in which I had to make an on the spot decision, I chose the wrong one, a decision which lost me the potential to increase my annual profits by tens of thousands.

No one died, but it sticks in my throat.

yep, some of the stories here make my life seem great, which it probably is really.

To be honest, if my life ever seems crap again, I'll just think of this...

"[i]whispering in Spanish[/i]"

And I will instantly be perked up. Absolutely brilliant. I have actually been laughing so hard I was finding it hard to breath.

hughjengin, I saw that on the BBC website the other day. Horrendous

[i]BigDummy, Binners is a designer not an IT bod. Apart from that.... [/i]

Obvious really, only a designer who likes MAC's would get up to all that stuff BigDummy suggested. An IT Bod would spend his evenings writing code in his bedroom while his wife shagged Malcom from Accounts senseless under the auspices of 'working late'.

Two more stories as we're on such a cheery note. and these make me put my situation into context.
First, a good friend of mine now works with the mother of a girl who was stabbed over 200 times by her 'boyfriend' and I work with a woman who had a drunken row with her husband, who stormed off in the car saying he was going to kill himself. Well he killed two other people in another car and is now in prison.
I reckon you can only control so much about your own life and there's always loads of people in much worse circumstances than your own.

Sweet jesus! Things are unremittingly grim at the moment, but there's not the risk of anything hammer related occurring. Yet.

This'll cheer you up, some CCTV footage of Binners in the local offy last night after he and PaulyPaul finished that last bottle of Mad Dog 20/20

So, c'mon Binners. What's the story?

[url= http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/north_east/8306659.stm ]Hammer case[/url]

Its a grim one for sure, I was in shock when I heard the news break, if you could have put 1000 blokes in a room, and single out person who would have never got in trouble, you'd have picked Simon for sure

Good perspective-putting-things-in thread this. I've got nothing besides a debt mountain and a chosen career path in temporary work..

Adam, it could be much worse. You could also work in IT?

Does graphic design count as IT? 😕

Oh, what a mess...

Dear me! I thought I'd screwed up when i didn't get out of an ailing business early enough, or if I'd stayed in my original (council plant fitters) job & be retired now. Instead I work on a prison wing with 88 prisoners on varying doses of methodone each day.
88 people with buggered up lives.

This happened to my wife's cousin 2 weeks ago!! [url= http://www.rotherhamadvertiser.com/News.aspx?id=9648 ]clickety[/url]

I have buggered abit of my life up but some of it was buggered for me:

Dad died when I was 2, mother was Asthmatic, blind, diabetic, arthritic and eventually died when I was 17, we had very little money, I was rather podgy with Joe 90 glasses so got the usual bullying throughout school.

Sold the house, bought a flat, blew the remaining money, couldn't/wouldn't get a job. Sold contents of the flat and eventually sold the flat and blew the money in approx 4 months.

Met a girl who is now my wonderful wife and mother to my 2 fantastic daughters(thats the good bit)

Diagnosed with Polycistic Kidney Disease at age 25 just before getting a job in a call centre where I progressed to Training Manager.

Got made redundant last year and struggled to find a job since (not for want of Trying)

Now on Dialysis waitng for some poor bugger to die so I can have one of their kidneys, don't have a job, don't have a great deal of energy or concentration due to kidney failure.

But I do have a great family and I am trying to remain positive even though it feels like I keep getting kicked in the nuts some days!

There are people a hell of a lot worse off but I still feel pretty shit some days.

There, I actually feel a bit better for that!

Blimey badblood thought I had problems...so do get to ride a bike these days or is that a stupid question! 😳

I try to ride but I had to flog my car so I have trouble getting to the forest. I went to Whinlatter last week for the day but pushed all the way up and I was that knackered I couldn't stand up for the whole descent!

I really need to try to get out more.

Edited, as it's nothing to laugh about.

But i'm in the shite and it's looking like a big pile to shift before i get out of it...one thing for sure, as i shift it, i seem to be piling it on from another pile..

Crikey reading some of this stuff puts my worries into perspective.

Good luck out there everyone!

Anyway, nevermind all this- worse problems to come binners. Had our scan today. There is going to be a male hora to continue the manwhoring line. In a few years time, one day he will be breaking girls hearts throughout manchester.....get your daughters upto the Lakes now! 😀

Bloomin' eck - i thought losing my fiancee and being made redundant with a mortgage hanging over me was a bad deal!

At least i'm healthy, so i'll stop complaining.

I should show this thread to my parents... They seem to think ive made a buggery of my life so far... I feel sorry though for the people who have had no part in their bad luck.

A friend of a friend of mine, made a bit of a mistake. He was 18, just finished alevels and due to join the marines. He was exactly how you would imagine someone being who would join the forces... Im sure w=he would have had a great career. Instead, one night him and a few others decided to go to some local woods, and mess around with BB guns. They got a bit hungry and ordered some pizza's. Somewhere along the line, one of them suggested robbing the pizza, and cash. They probably would have got away with that. But instead they stole the pizza delivery car, tied the driver to a tree, and took the car for a drive. They got pulled over, and charged for a number of offences, including armed robbery. He got 12 years in prison, will never be able to join the army etc, and a serious criminal record. Really not the kind of person you would have expected to be involved with that kind of thing... It was all his own fault though, and im sure he now regrets it.

hora - Member
Anyway, nevermind all this- worse problems to come binners. Had our scan today. There is going to be a male hora to continue the manwhoring line. In a few years time, one day he will be breaking girls hearts throughout manchester.....get your daughters upto the Lakes now!

Might be gay you know 🙂

Nothing bad personally but I remember my mum being in hospital and there was a young guy, early twenties in the ward.

He'd had a massive row with his parents one night, stormed out the house and spent the night sleeping rough. In the middle of January.

Severe frostbite meant they had to amputate both his feet 😯

>Might be gay you know

PMSL

Might be gay you know

Now on Dialysis waitng for some poor bugger to die so I can have one of their kidneys, don't have a job, don't have a great deal of energy or concentration due to kidney failure.

That's not good BadBlood, i'm hoping things look up for you soon. Just don't take any jobs delivering pizza, it's just not safe.

2 years ago things were looking shite. Business was going down the tubes and my house along with it.

Sold the business to a bigger mug (he went bust within a year) moved to the Channel Islands, and things are looking a lot rosier.

The whole thing turned around in a matter of weeks. It is amazing what you can do when you stop feeling sorry for yourself

I don't see how you can turn your life around in a recession. Perhaps someone can explain it to me please?

I don't see how you can turn your life around in a recession. Perhaps someone can explain it to me please?

Sell business, move to channel islands 🙂