[Closed] Bugger

Mower/Strimmer incident. Reminds me of the old "bacon slicer" joke 😀

Yer big div, Stoner!

Darryl Beattie incident?

It's all helping 😉

Sitting down to my first ever taste of hospital food. Surgery been bumped to tomorrow so may now dine like a king-ish

Fortunately Mrs Stoner has dropped by with headphones and 4x spare batteries for the phone, so it's tms and you lot keeping me company till tomorrow. I think the other chaps in this ward have already died. Moreorless.

Who has 5 phone batteries?!

breadcrumb

It's got to be wood related

😯

Am I being particularly dense after work, or do the X-rays show a hand and a foot with bits missing?

Don't tell Stoner. He's still pissed off about the finger - hasn't spotted the toe yet.

5x batteries is v handy.

Goat, I'm a div, but I'm not quite div enough to jam both my hand and foot in a chainwheel. Xrays just show 91.7% of my fingers.

Stoner - repeat after everyone.....

I

Am

A

Mucking

Fuppet

What are they going to do - take out the end bone, then sew the skin into a flap over the end of the 'new' end bone?

5x batteries is v handy

No... 5 fingers is handy...

actually knowing Mark (stoner) as I do, he's not really a lager man. So you could while away some of that slow hospital time designing lager-mitt-2 which would be adjustable for Creme De Menthe. Brandy, Absinthe and other beverages of choice,

Obviously any actual modifications would need to be done with hand tools only an under strict supervision.

#stillhelping 🙂

Alan, I think that's the plan. Whip of the last bit of the index distal phalanx (oooo, get me and my new lexicon) and grab whatever skin is left and sellotape it over the stump.

I can't bear to see you like this Stoner.

[img] [/img]

Pixels make everything better.

The wife will be pleased, thanks Jamie. I feel complete again!

Disappointing thread(apart from Jamie's foteeshop),I was 100% sure it was going to be Land Rover related. 😛

After decades of thinking cleaning / lubing motorcycle chains with the engine running and in gear was a stupid idea, I tried it a few years back and found it made the whole palava so much easier that now I do it all the time.

This thread reminds me of the potential downsides......

Heal quick!

Might see if I can close the wound myself with some superglue.

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Woah - hold the phone! Jamie's back!

(Get well soon Stoner)

We have the technology. But with the value of sterling it's more £60 than £6m

Aye, stuff the missing finger tip, Jamie is back! Please don't leave us again....

Actually, I don't think there's anything missing. Someone's just left their finger over the lens of the xray machine...

"The search for the man who terrorizes nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."

Mate of mine did that when we were 17. But he came from Snodland so had an excuse.

You could always take this opportunity to investigate a new career:

[img] [/img]

Either way, you'll save a fortune in manicures.

To be honest, it's the second x-ray that is a concern.

[img] [/img]

Ouch!

(You plonker etc. Heal fast!)

I just snorted at Jamie's pic 😀 *waves*

Clucking hell. I slipped while showering, honest

[Leslie Philips] cock-a-doodle-do [/Leslie Philips]

Welcome to an elusive club that includes my dear brother in law, aka stubby sausage fingers.
Healing vibes

My colleague's father managed to, unintentionally, shoot two of his fingers off. Nope, I have no idea either

Whip of the last bit of the index distal phalanx (oooo, get me and my new lexicon) and grab whatever skin is left and sellotape it over the stump.

The technical term is 'terminalisation of stump'.

If it involves very small sutures and the operating microscope it will take a surprisingly long time.

Doing under local so I'm expecting something more agricultural involving a metal file and a stapler.

Doing under local so I'm expecting something more agricultural involving a metal file and a stapler.

If they're doing it under a ring block, you'll be right, though I can't see them using staples (while there are no finer words in the English language than 'clips to skin', especially at the end of a long operating list, they're not the best for anything that isn't a straight incision).

If it's going to be a brachial plexus block...

Ring block was mentioned

This maybe isn't entirely helpful, but when I sliced up my hand it was the ring block that caused the most problems- the doctor was dead on his feet and lost balance and stuck the needle right through my finger into the desk.

And that STILL wasn't the stupidest thing that happened to my hand that day, because I sliced myself to ribbons doing the dishes.

Thanks northwind. That isn't helpful 🙂

Fortunately I should be second on the list tomorrow morning. After surgeon has had his first whisky of the day to steady his hand

[i]Stoner - Member
Doing under local so I'm expecting something more agricultural involving a metal file and a stapler. [/i]

Have you considered a prosthetic replacement?
[img] [/img]

Still, your injury doesn't appear to have impaired your ability to type 😐

I hope you feel better soon.

Ring block was mentioned

Fortunately I should be second on the list tomorrow morning. After surgeon has had his first whisky of the day to steady his hand

Is it a hand list, or a general trauma list?

Not sure. I think it's general as I'll get bumped if an emergency comes in. There is a kid with a "simple" op in front of me

V good scaredy!

[i]Stoner - Member
Fortunately I should be second on the list tomorrow morning. After surgeon has had his first whisky of the day to steady his hand [/I]

If this is the fellow, you might want a second opinion

[img] [/img]