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A PM avoiding all scrutiny while in government, just as he did during his election campaign. You get what you vote for.
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
Now Keir, now.
Now is the time to put the boot in.
Forget 'principles' this is politics. Now is the time to land a blow that no amount of skilful manipulation by Cummings can fully deflect.
I think the Mash has rather nicely nailed it today:
https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/is-your-bullshit-no-longer-working-20200511196331
FFS he can't even read his own notes accurately! Did he just say no later than July 4th (for cafes/bars), when he must have meant no earlier?
FFS he can’t even read his own notes accurately! Did he just say no later than July 4th (for cafes/bars), when he must have meant no earlier?
Yep, he said that. The whole thing is deeply embarrassing.
You could almost hear the backroom boys shouting in his ear when he got virus and vaccine mixed up.
Looks like a comedian playing a straight role.
Duck, weave, blow hard then do a runner.
The Cowering From Journos.
Thought I stumbled into the Trump thread by mistake ^^
I'll be ringing my Boris idolising mum later
No doubt his contradictory and confusing message will be glossed over because he said only "good old British common sense" is required and every patriot knows that their common sense is superior to everyone else's 🙄
I found this so funny as it's so bloody accurate!
Sorry,I can't embed twitter it would seem. With watching though!
Bibbly bing Boris
You wait around for ages for the one worst prime minister ever, then three come along all in a row.
I found evidence that Matt Lucas was doing Boris impressions back in the early 90s... bizarre
Dez, where did you dredge that up from?
Matt wearing school cap and wearing short trousers is johnson to a T.
Thanks
^ that is fantastic!!
Looks like Boris has managed to alienate most of the northerners he won over in the last election:
Revolt over easing of lockdown spreads as poll slump hits PM
The honeymoon is over.
Boris's whole life has been a series of (literal and metaphorical) honeymoons.
Dez, where did you dredge that up from?
Shooting Stars repeats on Gold, had them sat on my Sky box for ages 😆
Looks like Boris has managed to alienate most of the northerners he won over in the last election:
Revolt over easing of lockdown spreads as poll slump hits PM
The Opinium/Observer poll tracker charts on that page are amazing. Does that reflect the Guardian readership?
Who are these people who think the govt has handled this crisis well??
2 in 5 still think they're doing a good job. Jeez....
Anyone heard from our pound shop Churchill of late?
Is he on holiday again?
https://twitter.com/GordonS00015836/status/1261676072350998528?s=20
Is it PMQ's today?
Oh wait, look!
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^^^
In a way that is a good sign. If De Pfeffel is having to play an ace card like this just to distract from one PMQs they really are shitting themselves. You only get to play the card once.
You only get to play the card once.
I'm sure they can come up with a dukedom if they are really desperate.
Looking forward to PMQs today after seeing a couple of 'dog ate my homework' interviews from hapless ministers about track and trace this morning.
It's my birthday and all I want is for The Starmtrooper to give Dumbojo a good kicking.
May all your wishes come true on this special day, Zippy... 🙂
With popcorn I think I'll go savoury instead of sweet and have my lunch as soon as Johnson exits stage left
They played the card a day too early. Sir Tom's knighthood was last night's/this morning's news.
If Starmer gets some good shots in at PMQs at lunchtime, that will be the evening news sorted
'Pick for Britain'
Another wartime cliche. Jesus.
Personally, I can't wait for useless oaf to roll out the "we shall fight it in the hospitals" speech.
‘Pick for Britain’
Only one letter away from a true Boris slogan.
Rumours doing the rounds this morning are that our glorious leader might well be a no show today and he'll be sending human shield and regional photocopier salesman Dominic Raab out to face Starmer instead.
Would anyone be surprised? Its a week since he's been seen now
https://twitter.com/PiersMogan_GMB/status/1262997849303912449?s=20
I would be be surprised if Cummings has come up with so.egging to try & deflect steamers attacks at PMQs
There's a Cameron line somewhere about losing PMQs when you exit to win.
What I find depressing is that so many people seem to be echoing Johnson's common sense slogan as an excuse for things going wrong
Obviously the 50,000 or so dead didn't have enough of it
https://twitter.com/BorisJohnson/status/1262439124507770880
Ah yes, that famous British common sense - the stuff we all used to decide "shouldn't we be doing lockdown right about now" - about two weeks ahead of Boris.
"get us through it" doesn't really mean very much does it now? It could mean that we had the worst virus death toll in Europe but some of us are still here, for instance... oh, wait...
so many people seem to be echoing Johnson’s common sense sloga
a) some people will say anything
b) 30% of people on Farcebook are not real
Only one letter away from a true Boris slogan.
"Peck for Britain"?
Let the kicking begin.
Live updates? Foreign national looking for some humour here...
He was calmly and systematically taken to the cleaners once again by Starmer.
The Tory MPs were trying to make some noise which resulted in the speaker telling little Matty Handjob to STFU or he’d be booted out of the chamber
The Tory MPs were trying to make some noise which resulted in the speaker telling little Matty Handjob to STFU or he’d be booted out of the chamber
Bless him. I didn't think he had it in him. Raaaaaaaaab and CumDom probably put him up to it like two bullies getting a dim kid to 'prove himself' before they let him in the gang.
What a wunch of bankers.
Live updates?
He's still a ****
Did he really say we'd have a 'world-beating' track and trace system by the end of the month? World-beating at being crap I can see, it being effective not so much.
Really poor performance that one.
He was calmly and systematically taken to the cleaners once again by Starmer.
Was he though? He seemed much more prepared than previously. He also caught Starmer out by effectively telling him in public what he's already allegedly told him in private, so able to accuse Starmer of not listening, plus he clearly caught Starmer off guard by announcing the Track and Trace programme that is going to start in June.
I'd call it just about evens TBH, Starmer wasn't as effective as last week and Johnson had done his homework for perhaps the first time in his life...Whether he can maintain it remains to be seen.
Did he really say we’d have a ‘world-beating’ track and trace system by the end of the month?
Oh yes he did.
Oh no we won't.
It's behind you.
Etc.
In fact, for posterity, here are a pair of Boris Bites*:
"There will be 25,000 trackers, they will be able to cope with 10,000 new cases a day."
it will be in place by June 1
It will need to be world beating - we've got the bigglyest numbers of disease.
* like a sound bite, but without the need to be factually true or relevant.
Was he though? He seemed much more prepared than previously. He also caught Starmer out by effectively telling him in public what he’s already allegedly told him in private, so able to accuse Starmer of not listening, plus he clearly caught Starmer off guard by announcing the Track and Trace programme that is going to start in June.
I’d call it just about evens TBH, Starmer wasn’t as effective as last week and Johnson had done his homework for perhaps the first time in his life…Whether he can maintain it remains to be seen.
Given he has literally done nothing else all week its not surprising that he seemed a bit better prepared. But as ever he bumbled, dodged the questions and made a very bold commitment that he will have to live up to (but won't just like the last one on testing).
plus he clearly caught Starmer off guard by announcing the Track and Trace programme that is going to start in June
The one that was already announced as starting mid May?
It is just another statement that Starmer can file away and bring back up again when the lie fails to materialise.
I’d say that there’s absolutely zero chance of a world class track and trace system being in place in 2 weeks, which coincidentally is the next time we’ll see Joris
I wonder what Starmers first question will be?
"enjoy your holiday?"
Guardian has PMQs as a draw
'World-beating', 'world class'.
Bullshit soundbites.
Like the word 'awesome'. It has now come to be a synonym for 'acceptable'.
Guardian has PMQs as a draw
Given the Guardian's support for Starmer and opposition to Johnson, that suggests he didn't do particularly well.
I'm not seeing as much praise for Starmer this week in the coverage, which is disappointing.
I don't think Starmer did badly, Johnson had obviously picked up his game though, he clearly didn't enjoyed having his arse handed to him on a plate last week. How long he'll be able to sustain it* remains to be seen I guess.
* in reality as soon as the Braying mob return, it will be business as usual
plus he clearly caught Starmer off guard by announcing the Track and Trace programme that is going to start in June
Right, listened to it now… no mention whatsoever of “track”, so the 1st June target is for the tracing part of the programme only… and the only promise is that they’ll have the staff in place. So no app needs to be in use, no tracking needs to be happening, and no actual tracing needs to have taken place either, for the government to be able to claim their target is met. Smart people.
The app is still supposed to be ready “mid May”, but people will now focus on recruitment and training for trace, and the 1st of June date… and forget about the late app. Smart media management. Smart people.
Smart media management. Smart people.
Smart in a very limited context, which becomes at best irrelevant, and at worst a liability when used to deal with anything rather than an abstract political idea. Winning an argument to kill your fellow countrymen is fine but the current situation requires different skills.
I'll take a draw for seeing Hancock getting properly told off instead.....
the current situation requires different skills
The skills needed are in blame deflection and lowering expectations. We’re supposed to either accept the huge numbers of excess deaths as inevitable, or in some twisted way as “a success” (because it could always be even worse), or blame anyone but the PM.
Well… on the hoof he did say “track”, after all. Not so smart. No chance of the tracking app working and in use before the end of this month.
Do as I say, not as I do...
So Dom, during lockdown, having done a runner from Boris in number 10 after he was diagnosed with Covid, travelled 250 miles to his second home?
FFS!
There will be no price to pay for the Teflon bastard, obviously. Just like his boss. Just carry on doing what the **** you like, with no consequences
I dunno, plenty of back benchers aren’t his biggest fan, and there’s precedent for getting the boot for folk in high places flouting the rules. That’s before Starmer gets hold of it...
Might not be all bad, this corona.
Even if he does resign & he really should be sacked
He'll still keep advising Johnson on the sly
Because Johnson will collapse like a sack of shit if his puppeteer pulls his hand out
No way would Dom resign, his mind doesn't work that way.
Would be lovely to see him pushed though.
I suspect he'll be around for a while longer though. Normal rules of propriety in politics died with Brexit in afraid.
Finish him!
Finish him!
Reprehensible scumbag behaves reprehensibly.
Bohnson can't fire his own boss. Even if he wanted to.
Course he won't resign or be sacked. One rule for them etc etc...
Guess who will be getting a knighthood
He won't be sacked, unlike Neil Ferguson, as he hasn't gone against his own advice and undermined it.
He has reinforced his two-faced self interest position nicely, instead.
Not a new quote but well worth repeating.
https://twitter.com/davies139/status/1266462934378692609?s=20
So bojo has lucked out again, with the American race riots moving his incompetence largely from the news cycle. I really hope the focus will return to him soon. After all the US is the supposed economy the tories say we should be emulating and hitching ourselves too, there should be lots of political capital in pointing out how the free market policies fail so many.
After getting taken apart by Kier Starmer yet again today, it looks like Jeremy Hunt has being having a great old day sticking the boot in to him too.
He’s been barely able to, or perhaps wasn’t l even trying to, stifle a smirk as he was doing so.
Looks like all the numerous people that Joris has ****ed off during his inexplicable rise to power are all now seeing a chance for revenge
Even Little Liam Fox was getting stuck in to ridiculous government policy in parliament today
What goes around comes around eh, Boris?
Notice in the C19 briefing today he made mention of the fact we are partnering(?) the global conference tomorrow with the US.
So, has he sold us out already?
C4 dispatches was pretty damning of Boris and the govt
Problem is to those who vote for him and a large number of the population it's a bit subtle and the anger will only be remembered as righteous because, well, they're not helping are they.
SKS is using an épée what he needs is a big lump of 2x4 before anyone will take notice.
Cleverly alluding to Cummings is way too subtle it'll never make it newsworthy therefore only be seen by a very few.
I enjoyed this one
it does beg the question, if as asserted by some on here being a buffoon is just an act, now he's got the job shouldn't the buffoonery have stopped by now? In a time of crisis showing competence has got to a better vote winner than being an idiot.
When it comes to the buffoonery and whether it's an act, I always think of the Ian Hislop quote from years ago
"Boris Johnson, people always ask me the same question, they say, 'Is Boris a very very clever man pretending to be an idiot?' And I always say, 'No.'"
it does beg the question, if as asserted by some on here being a buffoon is just an act, now he’s got the job shouldn’t the buffoonery have stopped by now?
I don't think he is capable of doing much anything but the public buffoon act.
Boris says he's proud of his record. I'd imagine it's the first Abba album.
I read somewhere ages ago that someone who worked close with him described him as:
The thinking man's idiot and the idiot's thinking man.
An absolutely perfect summing up.