[Closed] Best way to end a conversation on Football?

How does offside work?

why don't they just nail a few planks across the goal?

"Sorry, I have absolutely no interest in soccer. Can we talk about something else, please?"

just tell them you're more interested in women.

i usually find that F*** O** you C*** works quite well.

generally ends any conversation in the office.

costs me £4 in the swear box tho.

Flashy + 1

Although I have said that to someone that couldn't relate AT ALL to not liking wendyball and he just carried on because he knew nothing else....

Just using the word 'soccer' would do it for me Flashy

Just using the word 'soccer' would do it for me Flashy

"Oh brilliant, I love football. Don't you just love all the sweaty men, running around in their tight shorts!"

just tell them 'football is a game played by idiot's, and watched by bigger idiot's'.
i find it usualy works.

I'll refer to it as soccer! ha, nice.

The less offensive the better.

When did you last go to a game?

Effectively deals with the babbling telly-clappers who assail us with their nonsense.

If the answer is 'last saturday' then maybe try chatting with them. Match-going fans are usually more measured and interesting with their views.

@ Garry. He's a season ticket holder. Big fan.

It's just the level of football rules/opinions/even opinions of others on a certain forums he frequents that I have to hear about.

😆

Even better, refer to it as I once heard a Ron Burgandy style American TV commentator pronounce it, as soch-er.

That'll do it!

I find that: "Football is boring and stupid. Stop talking to me."... works most of the time. 😉

my gf always stumps me with "why dont keepers have gloves the size/shape of the goals?"

Talking about wendyball on Monday morning;
"So, the most exciting thing you've done all weekend is watch 11 blokes you don't know kick a ball around a field with 11 blokes you don't know from a town you've never been to on the telly. Whoa, rock and roll !"

Listening to wendyball on the radio;
"You're listening to someone else watching someone else play sport. That's one of the saddest things I have ever seen"

It's just the level of football rules/opinions/even opinions of others on a certain forums he frequents that I have to hear about.

In that case, STW is a rich source of revenge. Try regaling him with some of the excellent whattyres threads, or quote some weight weenie figures to him.

Warning: This could backfire, and he might actually be interested.

Glad it has the desired effect, Binners.

The less offensive the better.

^^This.^^

The poor lambs already have enough to deal with and being rude to them isn't really sporting. 🙂

I'm a (match-going) soccerist but even I find there's a limit to how much you can talk about it.

I don't think the problem's the football though. It sounds like he's just a bore. He would bore about cricket, sailing, wife-swapping or (dare I say it) mountain biking. The only way to deal with it is to yawn, turn around and walk away.

You're listening to someone else watching someone else play sport. That's one of the saddest things I have ever seen"

I think watching them listening to the radio must be sadder

Ask them to explain the paradox between the illogical and all consuming tribalism of the fan supporting a "club" that has long since become a business focussed on profits and owners or shareholders represented on the field by a (mostly foreign) bunch of mercenaries with no interest or geographical connection with the club.

Or...when you have a daily mail reading soccer ( 😉 ) fan whose only other conversation topic is spouting on about foreigners coming over here and taking British jobs from British people as we do in our work....ask them why they spend gazillions supporting their "local" team that last week had a team sheet without a single British passport owner amongst the line up and watch them implode with inner conflictions.

Either will mark you out as an unbelieving arse not worthy of talking to about the beautiful game and you'll be left in peace.

😆 great all, may well bring in a tyre related forum post into our conversation..

For any fans of football, the team in question is Nottingham Forest.

I go to football as well but dont talk about it with mates who hate it.There is one bloke in our local who talks of nothing else but his team even when he gets told to shut up.

Q 'did you watch the match last night'
A 'i'd rather watch a dog having a shit!'
Tends to end it quickly,....

Q. What does FOREST actually mean?

A. Fear of relegation every saturday teatime!

Any killer lines?

Especially when they know I'm not a football fan!

I found supporting the opposite team to what they were really worked, until they remembered I don't like football (took them 3+ years)... Still gets them every now n again.

Oh Oh ... here's a chance to butt into a non-football thread and disrupt the perfectly good conversation of people who are not interested in football.

I love football, it's great.... and the only reason you lot hate it, is because you were the last wallies to be picked for a class kickaround in the school yard.

There you go, I feel better now that I've help redress the balance of all those dullards that raise thier charmless heads in a football thread and say 'football is a game played by idiot's, and watched by bigger idiot's'.

How about.......

......"I'm sorry, I have no interest in the world's most inclusive and popular team sport, I prefer to meet up with lycra wearing men in the local woods and session their bombholes"

or.....
..."Hi I work in IT and use a vintage single blade razor which matches my 5K wris****ch"

or......
...."How about coming back to my place and sampling my crema"

Start talking about how you thought the Patriots were going to win it, but the Giants were deserving winners, and that Eli Manning definitely deserved his MVP award. Then say, "Oh, you're talking about [i]soccer[/i]".

Or do what I do, and start talking about the best way of levelling enchanting and blacksmithing in Skyrim, or the difficulties in downing Yor'sahj the Unsleeping in Heroic difficulty in World of Warcraft. Or the sheer, merciless, bloody grind to get the legendary Fangs of the Fathers daggers.

Sorry dude I'm a skateboarder usually works...

I'm surprised nobody's yet mentioned that wendyball's not a sport, just a game

😈

anyway, each to their own... I just politely say something along the lines of "I don't really follow football", which usually causes some brain short-circuiting for a few moments whilst they process this information... 🙂

Ask them to explain the paradox between the illogical and all consuming tribalism of the fan supporting a "club" that has long since become a business focussed on profits and owners or shareholders represented on the field by a (mostly foreign) bunch of mercenaries with no interest or geographical connection with the club.

That won't work, I'm afraid. Ask a United fan that and you're likely to get a 3 hour diatribe against the Glazers and the evils of leveraged buyouts

Would you like me to give you a feel for the kind of thing? Ahem.....

talk about boobies

One really good way of getting rid of him would be to say "no I don't watch football, I prefer to spend my life on internet chat rooms talking about riding my bike." I'm sure then he'll realise then he's met his match and leave you to it.

He probably has the same conversation about you, "There's this guy who keeps boring everyone with talk of riding his push bike round the woods and how he's upped his rebound."

Best way to end a conversation on Football?

You could stop being a self righteous, reactionary, snobbish bore.

Or you could possibly start a conversation on a topic you appreciate, if you have the skill. 😉

I like football but hate talking about it to idiots. I usually end it with it's a gentleman's game played by thugs and watched by thugs, usually tails off within a couple more minutes of heated debate.

Ha ha, some class responses.

I mention nothing about bikes though! Hmmmm

Each to their own obviously that's the idea here, but to have it drilled into your ear at least a couple of times a day when you can't get a word in...

I don't follow football sorry, I know nothing about it. No need to be a dick.

Does my head in - every 'kin night away from work with colleagues

"We beat you last year etc. rabbit, rabbit, rabbit"

excuse me! - you were playing? - that's quite cool

They know I don't follow football 🙄

being a dick would be responding with "shut up you boring git" every time.

I feel the same way about Coronation Street and Eastenders.

However, I don't feel the need to go onto Internet forums and start threads to bleat about how annoyed I am. 😀

oh ok, I'll carry on wasting 20minutes of everyday hearing about football.

I went for a job interview once, was only for a temp job, the 3 laddish pally blokes interviewing me were more interested in talking about football and finding out who I supported. After saying I didn't like football they continued to talk about it, they didn't ask me anything relating to the job so I just stood up and walked out

You could just go and talk to someone else.
Or read a book.

Or do one of a million other things that don't cause you the intense physical pain that being excluded from a conversation obviously does.

Or you could post irrelevant, whingy posts on the internet that make you come accross as as a bit sad and needy. 🙂

In other situations I respond with either :

A. Don't have a clue about it
B. I'm not a chav, I don't watch it
C. Hate it and everything to do with it
D. I have no interest in it

You could always get a t-shirt printed

"Please Do NOT Talk To Me About:

- Football
- Eastenders
- Coronation Street

Thankyou"

You could always get a t-shirt printed

"I am a self important arrogant prig,
Please Do NOT Talk To Me About anything that interests you or your intellectually inferior companions:

Thankyou"

 

You'd have an easier time convincing Richard Dawkins that God exists than get (what seems like) the vast majority of this country from talking/watching footie endlessly.

Brilliant.

I live with this guy, lodging.

Might just do the T-shirt idea. HA.

Any reason both Hilldodger and Rusty Spoon are gradually becoming so touchy and offended?

Got plenty of reading cheers.

A couple of us were out gassing about MTB's and another friend with us suddenly said:

Shit, now I know what its like for you, when I'm talking about football

Oddly enough, I just had this conversation with a courier:

Him: "What's your name?"

Me: "Mike."

Him: "You're a Tottenham fan."

Me: "No. I can't stand football."

Him: "Yes, me neither but my father made me love it and now I'm trapped." 😯

Any reason both Hilldodger (and Rusty Spoon) are gradually becoming so touchy and offended?

Nope - neither touchy nor offended 😉
I just enjoy taking the mick out of people who make such a big point of not liking football, just like "you lot" enjoy taking the mick out of people who [i]do[/i] enjoy the sport.....

...now scrum down chaps and grab a fat lad's ballbag while you're there 😆

Ooh. (name footballer) is he the cute one with the nice bum.
Should work. 😀

Any reason both Hilldodger and Rusty Spoon are gradually becoming so touchy and offended?

I'm not. 😀

The thought of it obviously excites you though, doesn't it?

Rusty Spanner - Member
I'm not.

The thought of it obviously excites you though, doesn't it?

Ruggerbuggers innit 😆

overwhelmed with excitement.

I think there's a few people on here who got picked last when it came to deciding teams in PE/lunchtime. 😉

@ useless hippy 😆

played for the winning team in a house match once, and scored 😛

I can't stand watching or talking about football and hate the whole culture (or lack of) that surrounds it.

However, I have played semi-pro football, still do play to a reasonable standard and was generally one of the first picks at school.

I'm not sure where this puts me in the "hate fooball" scale or what relevence to the thread this is.

Being someone who [b]loves[/b] playing footy but only [b]likes[/b] watching and talking about it, I can see that some people talk about it far to much and their has to come a time to move the conversation on.

The responses most likely to make me move the conversation on would be something along the lines of : (best responses)

"Im not really into football can we move on"
"Sorry dude Im a skateboarder/MTBer/etc"
"The skills needed in football are a bit like MTB/driving/chess/etc because ..."
"Come on we always talk about football"

The responses most likely to wind me up and make we want to talk about football more are : (worst responses)

Any thing with the word "Wendyball" or "Soccer" in
"Oh brilliant, I love football. Don't you just love all the sweaty men, running around in their tight shorts!"
"just tell them 'football is a game played by idiot's, and watched by bigger idiot's'."
"now Rugby, there's a proper sport."
"I'm surprised nobody's yet mentioned that wendyball's not a sport, just a game"
"Start talking about how you thought the Patriots were going to win it, but the Giants were deserving winners, and that Eli Manning definitely deserved his MVP award. Then say, "Oh, you're talking about soccer"."
Mentioning Rugby or American Football at all.
Mentioning Cricket

Funny responses but probably will lead to more football chat are :
Q. What does FOREST actually mean?
A. Fear of relegation every saturday teatime!
"explain the paradox between the illogical and all consuming tribalism of the fan supporting a "club" that has long since become a business focussed on profits and owners or shareholders represented on the field by a (mostly foreign) bunch of mercenaries with no interest or geographical connection with the club"
"F*** O** you C*** "

"Please Do NOT Talk To Me About:

- Football
- Eastenders
- Coronation Street

Thankyou"

- Mrs Cake...

I find "what team do you play for?" works.

Some people think sport is something you watch on the telly.

I'm perfectly happy and genuinely interested to talk to anyone about football IF it's a conversation about a team they play for and/or a match they actually played in ...

There's a guy I've been seeing through work for years who'll sometimes say "I know you're not interested in football, but I have to tell you about Whaddever FC's match last weekend...". Then he gets offended because I'm not even pretending to pay attention.

I think the issue's not even football. It's boring bastards with no social skills and no life away from work and Sky Sports.

Them: which team do you support?

Me: I don't like football

Them: Well what DO you like then ???!!!

Me: why does every footy supporter immediately ask that question?

Them: der....

The best advice i can give you paddy is first thing on monday mornings go and find said employee, and start to tell him about the wet muddy hill you rode around with your dead cool mates,who were all sporting bicycle brakes that cost well over a £100

Explain to him the benefits of a dropper seat post.

Explain to him why one geared bikes are not for girls.

Explain to him the merits of a tapered head tube.

Explain to him that bike tyres are not all equal.

Im sure he will find you quite interesting after listening to that little lot and come seek you out more often.

enfht - Member

Them: which team do you support?

Me: I don't like football

Them: Well what DO you like then ???!!!

Me: why does every footy supporter immediately ask that question?

Them: der....

Well, they were obviously responding to your rudeness (ruining their conversation, turning it round to focus on yourself, unwillingness to learn or expand your knowledge base) with politeness by encouraging you to nomimate a topic of conversation.
To which you responded rudely again, by crudely stereotyping all football fans.

I imagine their silence at the end was simply that they felt embarrassed on your behalf.

HTH 😉

Worst of all... isn't there some world cup championship thing (yet) again this year? Think that'll be a good opportunity to get out and ride.

Used to share an apartment with some one who was well in to football (well watching on TV). He was convinced he would be able to make me like it. He soon learned that every time he tried to make me like it, it just made me loathe it even more. Now it's even at the point where if we've gone out for a few drinks/food, I'll be in the seat facing away from the TV, but he can still watch it.

Never watched a game since England-Tunisia. Was a long day with a 3 hour commute and a training course with an extended lunch, so made a good opportunity to catch up on some sleep 🙂

You need to talk to people in a language they understand. So for most football fans, as soon as they start droning on, quickly neck six pints of Stella and then punch them hard in the face.

Best way to end a conversation on Football?

unless there is going to be beer and fighting..

in which case I would like to be near enough to partake of the beer and spectate on the fighting..

what is[i] football[/i]? do you mean rugby?

When someone started banging on to me about rugby and how it was a sport for "real men", I simply stated my preference for proper sport, not thinly disguised homoeroticism and left it at that. There's no need to be rude.

"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"

"The problem with Arsenal is that they always try to walk it in!"

I struggle with long sentences.
Surely a conversation is an exchange between two people, for you to be having a conversation you must be doing something that encourages it?
Confused I am.

I think the issue's not even football. It's boring bastards with no social skills and no life away from work and Sky Sports.

Some of my mates are like this, a night out with them is like pulling teeth.

It appears that the best way to end a conversation about football is to either start a fight, preferably in a beautiful European town square, or to throw cups of faeces into the family enclosure. It's what football fans do when they don't want to talk about football any more.