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Our first is due next March. We found out on Friday that it's a boy. At that point it became very real and was overwhelmed with excitement at the prospect of being a dad.
Over the weekend I've gone from excitement into fear into excitement into fear over and over again. I'm presuming that this is normal? The fear comes from the prospect of doing something wrong, something bad happening, getting things right and of course the unknown in respect of how much life is going to change and ensuring I can provide the best possible life for him.
Was just hoping those who have already been through all this could offer some words of wisdom.
get plenty of riding in now and get ready for big change.
Congratulations mate, being a father is such an excellent experience.
I'm going to guess at the 24th March as your due date, based on the fact our 20 week scan was on Monday, also having a boy!
Congratulations 😀
Who's the courier?
Get plenty of sleep in now. Don't listen to unsolicited advice from anyone. You'll know what to do.
Yours is exactly the right reaction, as far as I'm concerned, and massive congratulations!
Remember that we're all making it up as we go along, so do what feels right for you (including, as above, getting riding in now, because it will get more difficult for a while, when you get immersed in being "dad"!)
congratulations.. go shopping now ..look after the family.. its a whirlwind when they come.. Dont worry when asking for help and accept it when given. Our magic number was 10 weeks after which it became a bit more of a routine ( sleep, feeding and addressing wind etc).
Lastly try to embrace every moment as it does pass quickly ( every the crappy nappy ones) 🙂
I'm going to guess at the 24th March as your due date, based on the fact our 20 week scan was on Monday, also having a boy!Congratulations
Indeed it is!! Likewise congratulation!
Congratulations.
It is worth reading up a bit, going to some classes. Most of these focus on the actual birth which is normal and natural. IME there was actually very little prep material on post delivery, ie being a parent. As above it will be challenging and very different but trust your instincts, you're pre-programmed on how to do this !
Look after the Mrs, big change for her too obviously and enjoy the coming months- things will never be quite the same again. 🙂
It doesn't go away in my experience. Not for a long time anyway. A couple of days after he's born, you'll be at home with a small child thinking ' what the **** do we do now?'
Unless you are a complete moron it's also really difficult to do it wrong. Feed him when he's hungry, clean him when he's dirty and let him sleep when he needs it. My only other advice would be routine. Set a routine and try to stick to it. It's not got to be chiselled in stone or anything, but a bit of routine works wonders.
Oh and many congratulations. Being a dad is ace.
The fear comes from the prospect of doing something wrong, something bad happening, getting things right and of course the unknown in respect of how much life is going to change and ensuring I can provide the best possible life for him.
When the time comes you'll be so tired that you'll just somehow muddle through. Not sure you can ever really be prepared for what's to come!
Posted this in another thread recently, you might not find it that amusing now, but you will...
Oh and yes congratulations! Being a dad is ace. It's a bit like owning an old classic car. Unbelievable amounts of work, hassle, cost and maintenance, but every now and again you're out driving on a nice sunny day and you know it's all worth it 🙂
nct classes are good to get some info about the immediate issue of child birth (its hard for both parents in different ways) but crucially to meet some other parents. This is especially good for the mum (or whoever is staying at home) to get a network of friends in similar situation.
It's hard work with the lack of sleep but does settle down. Ours is 9 months and I still struggle with finding time to do stuff that needs doing on the house whilst working and being a dad - forget about biking. When they cry it breaks your heart. When they smile it breaks your heart.
The boy will fit right in 🙂
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Congratulations. Echo all the above especially what jekkyl says. Get as much riding in as you can before he arrives as you'll have a good few months where you won't get a chance.
Congrats. Be excited, it's great. It's pretty natural to have some fear. I'd agree with everyone else when they say get plenty of riding in now, although I found for quite a while after the birth I managed to get out loads when mother and baby were sleeping/feeding/sleeping so long as I had everything in order.
It doesn't matter what you say to them they will copy you.
Congratulations BTW
Congratulations.
Mine are now 11 and 8, and I still yoyo between fear and excitement. Listen to all the advice you are given, file it away, and you will know what might work when you need to try. When it doesn't work, you will know something else to try.
When all else fails, ask on here, there is little we don't have experience of. Some of it might be useful.
Ignore the nay sayers about riding. I started riding when my first was born. Mainly because I was so tired I couldn't remember driving into the office, so I figured cycling to work was less dangerous to other road users.
Giant Steps
I think that was a Taj Mahal Album....but
It was a profound moment for me. Never mind getting married, that meant nothing! The birth of your first child pushes everything one down the line......
You are a parent, your parents are Grandparents..........there's no going back. GIANT STEP.
Enjoy
congratulations.......terrified of a baby...don't be. But when it becomes a teenager....BE TERRIFIED 😆
Congratulations. Life will change a bit but likely not as much as you think and not as much as the scaremongers will say!
Have just brought number 2 home from the hospital.
Literally 10 mins in the door. In hindsight 1 is easy.
Don't be a hero, if wife/girlfriend is breast feeding don't stay up at night, get sleep then you can take the baby out for a few hours and let her sleep. There is no point in having 2 of you exhausted trying to stay awake. I used to get up at 5ish after the early feed and go downstairs with nipper and about half eight take him out for a walk for his nap. Once asleep sit in the park with a book/stw on your phone and watch the world go by.
It's all about the teamwork. Once they start walking it gets tougher because you constantly have to keep an eye on them and entertain them.
Like everyone said, get as many trips away squeezed in now because it just gets harder and harder.
They are the best thing that happens to you but it can be tough.
"excitement into fear into excitement into fear over and over again"
That is pretty much the rest of your life described . Plus what ever the name is for the emotion you get when a midget climbs into your bed at 3 am rests his feet on your face and stats to try to discuss garbage trucks with you.
Anyone who doesn't freak the hell out when they are going to be a dad is either planning to do a runner or hasn't fully understood the situation. The fact that you have shows that you're not a bastard or thick so well done, test passed.
You'll be in the trenches for the first 6-8 weeks, then you'll get the first smile and all will be forgiven. It gets slowly easier from then.
Oh and toddlers are ace, proper ace, gloriously mad and funny beyond belief.
Epic picture resurrection up there!
Nothing at all odd about feeling nervous. I'll share one tiny piece of advice a very dear friend gave me;
Don't listen to anyone else's advice. Your baby's different to every other baby, so their experience is irrelevant.
Pretty good, I thought! (Got two of the little blighters myself, and it's brilliant!)
Oh and toddlers are ace, proper ace, gloriously mad and funny beyond belief.
Little Miss CFH is almost two now, and is at present the funniest and loveliest person I've ever known. (Am sure it'll never last!)
"excitement into fear into excitement into fear over and over again"
Sound like riding a decent downhill, so as a mountain biker you'll be fine.
It's all about the teamwork
Best advice ever.
The first year can very very hard on your relationship with your partner - it's hard work so expect it, accept it and get through it. You will both be tired, and it's easy to fight - just remember it will be worth it. Help each other with little things. Distracting your baby while your partner gets to go to the loo in peace can seem like a big thing at the time.
Don't expect much return on your hardwork in the first 3 months, and not much more in the next six, but recognition and smiles, crawling towards you, walking towards you, getting all excited when you arrive home - these will feel brilliant when they occur.
Oh yes. All that plastic baby junk? You probably don't need half of it.
And congratulations.
You'll be in the trenches for the first 6-8 weeks, then you'll get the first smile and all will be forgiven. It gets slowly easier from then.
CF's advice must be right as with both of ours the first 7 months or so were in hindsight pretty easy, just a relentless monotonous routine of sleeping and feeding. It was then with our first that colds and illnesses and disturbed nights seemed to kick in, seems to be going the same way with our second. At about 9 months in me and the missus were both wrecked.
As always the STW collective come up trumps. Fantastic advice and thoughts from all. As a result, the current overwhelming sense is one of excitement.
Now either my wife is very good at masking her emotions or she is just taking all this in her stride.
(I knew I hadn't seen the last of that picture! Bloody Binners)
And find local NCT sales / Ebay etc - you can get some seriously good stuff for a fraction of the new cost. We spend about the same as the value of a small house on a twin 'travel system' (present from the grandparents) but it was soon sold for about 1/4 of what we paid for it in favour of a more simple pushchair (bought secondhand off Ebay) and even now, 5 years later, we could probably sell it for what we paid for it.
We've got two girls - aged 4 and 7.
It is an amazing journey - a rollercoaster of emotions... As others have said, the first few months can be tough - it is a lot of give, with out a great deal of obvious reward, but before you know it they'll be crawling towards you and starting to say Daddy..
OP, read the "baby bonding thread" too.
Top tip from me. You will get a chance for a ride/few beers and curry in the unique and never to be repeated window immediately after the delivery when the mrs is still in hospital and you are outside of "visiting hours". It's never to be repeated as if/when number 2 arrives you'll be looking after number 1. Make sure you are ready for this as if you miss it you'll regret it, I promise 😉
My First also due 24 march - scan tomorrow and not finding out what sex it is.
Strangely calm - Riding as much as i can before i have to joining the dads club 7am starts
Got two summer alps in and 10 day snow trip to come before it all goes mad but gonna be great !
Truthfully i want a little boy but as long as its healthy im all fine
ensuring I can provide the best possible life for him.
He's already going to have the best start, he's lucked out being born to western parents and not in some famine riddled hell hole. Make sure you let him know that at every possible opportunity, I know I do 😉
Seriously though, it's hard, but it's not THAT hard. You'll be reet - enjoy it!
🙂
get plenty of riding in now and get ready for big change.
Congratulations mate, being a father is such an excellent experience.
+1
Congrats. I'm in much the same boat but due mid-Feb. All a bit surreal at the moment, Mrs broke her ankle on holiday last month so looking after her has taken precedence over baby planning stuff. Way too much still to work out.
Congratulations and good luck