Subscribe now and choose from over 30 free gifts worth up to £49 - Plus get £25 to spend in our shop
normal service resumed....
time to wield the bat properly tomorrow or roll over and die
Who is the England bowling coach?
Bowling too short, yet again. It's pathetic.
Great start and I haven't turned it on yet!!!!
Why was Anderson batting?
Night watchman.
KP, Bell and Stokes are going to save the day......
..........So back to work monday can be made bleaker still by another collapse.
this is past pathetic.
😆
This is worse than ever!
Bedtime!
Absolutely bag o shiiii
It's nighttime in Aus as well?!?!
What is the message in sending out a rabbit at the start of the day??????
soft in the head.
I'm going to listen to the smiths instead of TMS
I've literally started posting that if we lose Belly in the next 30 mins then we'll be following on not long after lunch.
Seconds later he goes and gets does that. FFS. This could be worse than Port of Spain in '94.
Thats enough for me. Wifi is dodgy and cricket is too shocking. Watch bravely!!!!
Well that was fun 🙁
I have no hope of anything other than a good thrashing, the senior players have lost all confidence and we have no one able to inflict fear in the Aussy camp. Big changes ahead me thinks... Quite interested to see what happens in the one day series, hopefully we'll see some of the other tourists step up and show some tallent.
Stokes deserves some credit again but the barmy army were England's outstanding performers today... 😳
So lunch, tea or close of play? Will the NSW cricket have a word and try and get Australia to keep day 4 alive?
Thankfully they made the follow on and saved the prospect of not having the Jane Mcgrath day. That would have been embarrassing.
So forget the score and anything else pop some money over here and let some good come of all this cricket. One of the most inspiring sights these days is the Pink Test.
http://www.pinktest.com.au/
http://www.cricket.com.au/video/Carberry-broken-bat
Moment of the series for England
"AUSTRALIA YOU ****ING BEAUTY!!!" indeed!!!
Same 11 players for the 5 Tests, 5-0, suck on that Poms!
Same 11 players for the 5 Tests, 5-0, suck on that Poms!
Trying not to sound bitter but...
England were simply awful, however Australia were rescued by Haddin on a few occasions during the series, this game would have been very different without him getting those scores. South Africa will tell us all how bad England were vs how good Australia were.
"AUSTRALIA YOU **** BEAUTY!!!" indeed!!!Same 11 players for the 5 Tests, 5-0, suck on that Poms!
As glorious in victory as ever, I see 🙄
Haddin should have been man of the series - England have had the ability to flatten the Aussie batsmen just as much as the Aussies at times, and as destructive as Johnson was, it was our absolute ineptitude with the bat that lost us this. Australia weren't far behind in the ineptitude with the bat stakes at times, Haddin always managed to stop the rot.
"AUSTRALIA YOU **** BEAUTY!!!" indeed!!!
Same 11 players for the 5 Tests, 5-0, suck on that Poms!
Fair comment I reckon 😀
How well have the Aussies played? Actually I think we'll never know. England have been so dismal in every department, so shockingly under prepared and badly led that it's not possible to put the Australian resurgence into any kind of perspective yet. I think the next couple of series for both sides will be illuminating.
Zokes - go back to page 1 and look in the mirror. In the context and given the manner of the victory psyche is merely reflecting back what's needs to be reflected!
Haddin was a major contributor for sure (as was Rogers if you look at the batting stats) but in the end 6 Aussies scored more that 300 runs and not a single Englishman (sic) did. For whatever reason, our senior players didn't turn up. Seems like there is (unsurprisingly) crap going on in the dressing room - I wonder why????? What is it that the All Blacks say about not having a ¥¥¥¥ in the team however good they are??????
Well played Aus, you stuffed us good and proper. You bounced back with a total humiliation of the poms. You deserve to enjoy the victory. Shocking capitulation from us though.
I've just gone back and read page 1. 😆
Reading the first few pages makes up for the cricket itself. Guess even Watson found which end of the bat to hold!!!!! How many Englishman averaged more than a guy who can't even hold a bat?
The bogans wouldn't have dreamed of a whitewash at the beginning of the series after losing the last 3 ashes series and the last defeat only a few months ago (I wonder what the odds were for 5-0?)
I can't see them going on to great things and dominating like they have done in the past, they were handed this series on a plate without having to fight for it, surprised cook didn't politely knock on the dressing room door after the first test and say "here you are you better look after the urn for a bit"
They have SA next which I will be watching with interest.
As for England changes will be made but hopefully not a new coach or captain, getting rid of them would be a mistake, changes to a few key positions but hopefully not a clean sweep.
I can think of one who needs to concentrate on IPL/big bash league and retire from test cricket. 🙄
Fair comment I reckon
+ 1 why not celebrate it? it has been nothing short of a miraculous drubbing on their part and the Poms have been utterly and completely crushed in all departments
I liked the Boycs comment about Aus being an average team and you could not make one good team from both sets of players
Not good for England as it is a very average side and they were extraordinarily poor in all areas [ except Broad]
Not good for England as it is a very average side and they were extraordinarily poor in all areas [ except Broad]
I'm adding Stokes to the list, the way he walked off looking pissed off after his first 100 in Perth said it all.
yes fair point he has done enough to keep his place and has the highest average with the bat [35] 😯
hard to say on carberry as he is second on 29 behind pietersen on 29 - does that make him good or bad?
Not good for England as it is a very average side and they were extraordinarily poor in all areas [ except Broad]
It's not that good for the bogans either. If they had windies or Bangladesh up next it would be even worse as it's just more cannon fodder and no chance to dig-in or think their way out of situations and another test series handed to them on a plate.
SA are the best thing that could happen to them, on the back of this win they probably think they can string 3-4 test series together and be number 1 in the rankings.
It surprises me to say it but I'm slightly (only slightly mind) pleased for Australia. They have been pretty toilet for a few years now and racked with infighting and the like. Somehow in a pretty short period they've regrouped, found some belief and regained some form. Much as watching MJ was difficult as an England fan I am pleased to see a bloke who was almost completely crushed and a laughing stock come back so hard. Clarke has captained very well this series - I do think he lacks a bit of class but that's by the by. Lehmann has managed a lightweight and misfiring squad very effectively. Again he lacks class but I'm sure most Aussies will overlook that right now. So congrats through clenched teeth to Australia (and our resident Aussie posters) - thoroughly deserved and a sweet feeling for them.
England? Where to start? I'm too disgusted to even think about it at the moment.
England were truly abysmal. Hopefully the bubble of delusion has been well and truly popped. They only just survived against the Kiwi's away and at home last year.
The danger for Australia of course is that they now assume the delusory bubble and regard themselves as anything better than the mediocre team that they clearly are. I shall also be rooting for the South African's to dismantle the Aussie's.
Yossarian +1 very well put.
I agree.
MJ's test stats are now respectable they were poor before his performance this series.
Hopefully he will revert to type 😉
Well, that's your lot for a couple of years (at least, I think).
We've lost the Ashes five nil to a pretty gash Aussie team. Two players have (for varying reasons) chucked a sickie and gone home early. It really has been an absolute shambles. We have let Steve Smith score two hundreds in the series for heaven's sake.
You can stick your ODIs as well, they are a total irrelevance (in general and specifically now on this tour). Might as well let the U19s have a go in those.
I am utterly astounded by the manner in which we gave the ashes back to Australia. Only Stokes can really come home with anything to shout about.
Zokes - go back to page 1
Actually, reading quite a bit of this thread from the start has been rather amusing in a black comedy sort of way...
Interesting to see Vaughny calling for KP to be vice captain.
zokes - Member
Interesting to see Vaughny calling for KP to be vice captain.
Had a little smile and thought of you when I saw that!!!!!
Cricket makes my head hurt. I'm Scottish so it might be the fear of Sunshine...but I want to like it.
So not understanding all the subtlities of the last 20 pages:
Did England not win quite comprehensively in the Summer?
And now you got blootered by the Aussies, but why?
Is it like Man U win the league and now they're gash?
Had a little smile and thought of you when I saw that!!!!!
I would suggest that he knows more about KP, the England team, and cricket in general, than most other commentators, either on here or in the press.
You are correct there zokes. All Vaughan needs now is a better understanding of the idea of "whanau". One of the reasons why the All Blacks are so great.
It seems like Kevin Pietersen is being 'misunderstood' a lot again - now there's a surprise.
[url= http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/jan/08/andy-flower-kevin-pietersen-england-future ][/url]
I wonder why these stories don't appear about the likes of Broad, Prior, Bell (or the rest of the team in fact). Could it be that Pietersen is a malign influence in the team and the dressing room, or is he just 'misunderstood'? All the time? By everyone?
`Five nil spanking all KP's fault and not the coach' shocker 😆
`Five nil spanking all KP's fault and not the coach' shocker
I've struggled to see where Flower said that, actually.
How many times does he have to be at the centre of dressing room and on-field (with his own team) rancour before some people realise the truth.
He is a disruptive and self-centred influence. His form has ceased to outweigh this. It is time for England to dispense with his services.
It seems like Kevin Pietersen is being 'misunderstood' a lot again - now there's a surprise.
Vaughny seems to understand him. He probably knows a bit more about him, and England, too.
KP top scored for our side in the tournament. That such a low aggregate was the highest out of the team says a lot, and none of it negative about KP.
It's not KP's fault that nobody could catch
It's not KP's fault that Prior hasn't know which end of a bat to hold for over a year
It's not KP's fault that they picked three reserve bowlers they didn't want to play
It's not KP's fault that said bowlers turned out to be gash so Anderson, Broad and Stokes had to bowl themselves inside out
It's not KP's fault that Anderson continually bowled too short
It's not KP's fault that nobody scored any runs
It's not KP's fault that Cook's field setting was reactionary at best, and hapless at worst
It's not KP's fault that everyone was scared of Johnson
It's not KP's fault that nobody could bowl Haddin out
In short, there were lots of things wrong with the performance of a lot of highly paid professionals wearing an England shirt in that series. If some of them don't like KP, well tough - they're paid to play as a team, no matter who is in that team. KP's own batting was far from blameless, but that and personal differences amongst team members are far from the sole reason for the pathetic display of the last six weeks.
So, apart from certain posters not liking KP, is there any objective reason why he should never wear an England shirt again? Given that his team-mates are highly paid professionals, alleged dislike for him from some members of the squad isn't a valid reason. They're paid to rise above that.
Despite calling for a period of reflection flower seems to be saying its choose between him and KP. Telling the bosses the terms of your re-employment when you have been smashed 5-0 is a dangerous game. Difficult to sack KP unless he has done something wrong contractually too. KP is not the first and won't the last awkward player in the dressing room - Brian Lara?
Prior says its the little things england got wrong as a team behind the scenes to start with ie turning up late. There was a good piece on espn discussing this before Prior's comments. He also indicates to me england were being over coached and not playing with freedom. Meanwhile flower thinks he should have been even more structured!
I don't have a problemin theory if the batsmen have to earn their place with runs in county cricket next season but won't be happy if this is purely a way to force KP out.
Whanau, it's that simple.....or as the Sydney Swans term the same idea, "no dickheads in the team."
His class is as obvious as his ability to destabilise the team. Choosing between the two is simple. Even Brierley would have struggles with KP in his current mode.
If he's such a destabilising influence, how is it that he's been in an Ashes winning team four times? A team that also topped the world rankings, no less?
Or is it just when they're not doing so well they want an easy scapegoat? And the baying mob, just as here, seem to be happy to give KP up as one. It's truly pathetic. Look what Lehman has done to a team of talent-challenegd no-hopers. That's what we need. Not more people going "yes, Mr Flower, how high Mr Flower".
Cook's captaincy (or lack thereof in the field) has far more to answer for than KP's ego.
or as the Sydney Swans term the same idea, "no dickheads in the team."
They'd struggle - I've yet to see an AFL player who isn't one.
No KP in the ODI squad currently being spanked around the MCG
The girls have it 😀
Wrapped up their 5-dayer before lunch too. Well done the England ladies!
Not strictly ashes, but them bloody Aussies are mullering the Saffers too.
Mitchell Johnson, apparently, is quite useful, and it's not just us......
Aye - I'm a bit surprised at this result. Well - not a result yet - maybe the last 2 Saffers can get another 285?
Maybe England are not so bad - get KP back!
Nope, all done, stupid run out to finish it.
That is a BIG win for the Aussies.
A dozen wickets for Johnson and 3 centuries from the batters - a team in form and playing with confidence.
What the bloody hell is Lehman putting in the opposition's water???
I'm waiting for this to be all KP's fault too...
One assumes [url= http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/cricket/26392337 ]our loss to the Windies[/url] is KP's fault too?
1-1 SA vs Aus now. Wonder how the decider will go...
Wonder how the decider will go...
Steyn has been missing for the third, but jeez, the Aussies look a bit better than folk here were making out. Are they going to cap the 5-0 with an away series win at the world's best? Certainly a team playing with confidence.
494-7 after day two. 😯