[Closed] Are you the perfect man?

[i]Are you the prefect man?[/i]

Is gud spilling a prireqiusite?

I was form captain in 5th Form, but never a prefect 🙁

Ha ha maybe, as is being able to enter and format text on a mobile phone. I made a right mess of that didn't I.

I was a prefect. The gown was a real embarrassment, but hey, it went with the territory.

Woohoooooooooooooo!!! I've got 3!!!

A beer / lager drinker

Eats meat

Enjoys watching football

form an orderly queue please ladies 😀

[s]Drives an Audi[/s]

Damn - perfection denied

5'10" in all other areas I'm perfect or better.

I answered yes to twelve of those - Am I as good as perfect?

Perfect for another man perhaps

Smart dress sense

Loves shopping

Wears smart jeans, shirt and a

V-neck jumper

Stylish

Enjoys watching football

Drives an Audi

Watches soaps

Wants a family

is it dark in the closet?

Earns more than you

sounds like a proper knob.

*doesn't understand why "posting on stw" doesn't get a look in*

[i]A beer / lager drinker

Non smoker

Eats meat

Jokes around and has a laugh[/i]

Sorry Binners, trumped by a score of 4.

Oh hang on, I missed these ones at the bottom -

[i]Holds a driving licence

Can swim

Can ride a bike

Can change a tyre[/i]

Wow, that makes me 100% better than I originally thought 😀

My next car will be an Audi, then I'll be perfect! :o)

I'm going to buy an old Audi from a scrappy just to up my score.

[i]Smooth chest

Watches soaps

Enjoys watching football[/i]

What is the opposite of perfect?

Aren't some of those contradictory?

Watches soaps

Enjoys watching football

A beer / lager drinker

Sensitive when you are upset

Drives an Audi

Educated to degree level

Clean shaven
Smooth chest
Enjoys watching football
Educated to degree level- techincally it is beyond a degree but one does not like to brag 😉
Earns more than you- depends I might I guess.
Jokes around and has a laugh- not on STW as this is SERIOUS
Sensitive when you are upset- does buying you wine count?
Tells you he loves you only when he means it
Can swim
Can ride a bike
Can change a tyre
Rings mum regularly - the medium charges a fortune though

So a better catch than Binners and not as good as TSY [ but then again who is]

 

Just answer the questions.
😉

Wine swilling, football hating, shopaphobic, hairy arsed midget here 🙂

Perfect for someone I guess!

Aracer is correct.

I drive an Audi, I do not have a Degree.

12 8)

Six feet tall PASS
Muscly, toned and athletic PASS
Brown eyes FAIL (blue)
Short dark hair PASS
Smart dress sense FAIL
A beer / lager drinker PASS
Non smoker PASS
Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper EPIC FAIL
Gets ready in 17 minutes PASS 5 mins max
Stylish FAIL
Wants a family FAIL already got one
Earns £48,000 a year EPIC FAIL
Loves shopping EPIC FAIL
Eats meat PASS
Clean shaven FAIL
Smooth chest FAIL
Watches soaps EPIC FAIL
Enjoys watching football EPIC FAIL
Drives an Audi EPIC FAIL
Educated to degree level PASS
Earns more than you PASS
Jokes around and has a laugh PASS
Sensitive when you are upset FAIL
Tells you he loves you only when he means it PASS
Admits it when he looks at other women FAIL
Holds a driving licence PASS
Can swim PASS
Can ride a bike obv
Can change a tyre obv
Rings mum regularly PASS

16/30

I'm far from perfect, it's part of my charm.

I once poured white spirit over a load of kindling and newspaper in the hearth and lit the fire from the other side of the room with a flaming arrow.

What could be more perfect?

Oh and brown eyes = mongrel genes 😀

OK, here we go....

Six feet tall - No, just over.
Muscly, toned and athletic - Not sure
Brown eyes - Yes
Short dark hair - Yes
Smart dress sense - Yes
A beer / lager drinker - Yes
Non smoker - Yes
Wears smart jeans, shirt - Yes
V-neck jumper - NO !
Gets ready in 17 minutes - Oh Yeah
Stylish - Eh ?.
Wants a family - Yes
Earns £48,000 a year - No
Loves shopping - Errr, s'OK
Eats meat - Yes
Clean shaven - Yes
Smooth chest - No
Watches soaps - No
Enjoys watching football - No
Drives an Audi - Yes (Spooky)
Educated to degree level - No
Earns more than you - Can't say
Jokes around and has a laugh - Yes
Sensitive when you are upset - Is there a choice ?.
Tells you he loves you only when he means it - 😳
Admits it when he looks at other women - Yes
Holds a driving licence - Yes
Can swim - Yes
Can ride a bike - You kidding ?.
Can change a tyre - Bikes ?, yes.
Rings mum regularly - No.

Pick the bones out of that.
😆

what does the daily mail know about real men?

i for one wont click the link to find out.

Six feet tall - Yep
Muscly, toned and athletic - erm.
Brown eyes - No
Short dark hair- yes
Smart dress sense - Of course

A beer / lager drinker - only good stuff
Non smoker- Do cigars count?
Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper - V neck?
Gets ready in 17 minutes - Under
Stylish- Of course.
Wants a family- Yep
Earns £48,000 a year - Nope. 8)
Loves shopping - Nope
Eats meat - Of course
Clean shaven- Sometimes
Smooth chest - No. I'm a man.
Watches soaps - Listen to the Archers, does that count?
Enjoys watching football - Exactly the opposite!
Drives an Audi- Occasionally
Educated to degree level - Yep
Earns more than you- Who?
Jokes around and has a laugh - Sometimes
Sensitive when you are upset - Yep
Tells you he loves you only when he means it - Yep
Admits it when he looks at other women - Black Iridium FTW!

The survey is clearly flawed. 🙂

Admits it when he looks at other women

Christ, how do you have a conversation if you have to interrupt every ten seconds.

V neck?
Watches soaps?
Smooth Chest?
Stylish?
Loves shopping?

It sounds to me like the perfect man is in fact... a woman.

I once poured white spirit over a load of kindling and newspaper in the hearth and lit the fire from the other side of the room with a flaming arrow.

Class wish I had done that I once used the oxygen from my welder to start a living room heart fire with damp green wood..lets just say it is best avoided on safety grounds.

Torminalis - Member
V neck?
Watches soaps?
Smooth Chest?
Stylish?
Loves shopping?
[b]Ejoys watching football?[/b]

It sounds to me like the perfect man is in fact... a woman

FTFY. 😈

[i]It sounds to me like the perfect man is in fact... a woman.[/i]
😆

I once poured white spirit over a load of kindling and newspaper in the hearth and lit the fire from the other side of the room with a flaming arrow.

I'll never understand women. Why isn't that on the list? How can an Audi be more important than that?!!!!

Yes, I am the perfect man.*

* the list is clearly wrong.

None of those seem massively surprising tbf but the swimming one is a bit strange.

Is that actually in the article? Do they know something we don't?

Loves shopping

Watches soaps

Sounds like a massive tool.

Brown eyes
Short dark hair
Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper
Earns (a bit more than) £48,000 a year
Clean shaven
Smooth chest
Earns more than you
[b]Sensitive when you are upset
[/b]
Tells you he loves you only when he means it

I think I might have found him:

[img] [/img]

[i]Non smoker
Gets ready in 17 minutes
Eats meat
Jokes around and has a laugh
Holds a driving licence
Can swim
Can ride a bike
Can change a tyre
Rings mum regularly[/i]

Is this why I'm still single ...

I fail miserably with that list, but there must be someone on here that ticks all the boxes.

Come on man up, and own up whoever you are 😉

My fiancées brother sent me the original link as a joke, he is only missing the degree of he would be perfect. Going to nick some of your funny responses to send him and palm them off as my own.

As has been pointed out, if someone does tick all those boxes, I doubt there will be much manning up going on. He'll be too busy having his chest waxed, while watching the Hollyoaks omnibus 😉

[i]Is this why I'm still single ... [/i]

Nah.....
😉

Lol at this thread 😆

LOL 🙂 What kind of women did they ask to come up with that list?!?

The "what do you look for in a guy" questions has come up a few times amongst my female friends. The "list" was as follows:

- ride a bike (road or mtb) and / or climb and / or mountaineer etc

- not want a family

- be honest, interesting, independent, and have a sense of humour!

... erm, that was about it! (although we had a long conversation once about whether shave or not shaved legs were on the list ...)

18! Yet I am nowhere near perfect. In fact, I'm a right **** at times.

[i]What kind of women did they ask to come up with that list?!?[/i]

Perfect ones.

- not want a family

I don't want one. I've got one though.

<sends link to thread to mrs molgrips>

mrs molgrips ideal man != molgrips 😈

In womens defence, if they lived upto 90% of those things they'd be 'perfect'

What kind of women did they ask to come up with that list?!?

The thing is, success and attractiveness is correlated with low levels of agreeability.

*joke* So in other words if you are a total arrogant **** towards women they think you are potentially successful.

Uummmmmmmm.

Isn't that list of Qs missing one quite important Q ?....

[i]Is he available ?[/i]

<sends link to thread to mrs molgrips>

She doesn't want one either. She's currently upstairs tidying up a kids' room when she'd rather be reading her Tad Williams.

(btw I am joking before anyone flames me)

[i](btw I am joking before anyone flames me) [/i]
😆

So....Molgrips is arsing about on the computer while Mrs Molgrips is doing the housework?

On a thread about perfect men?

TBH, they didn't ask a representative sample of women; the ones I know would say:
Rich
Quiet
Well endowed
Low sex drive
No interest in other women
Non snorers.

[i]Non snorers. [/i]

Isn't it a bit late by then ?.

According to Austin Reed?

That would be line Principles the Retailer telling the ladies what is a perfect woman.

LOL.

I drive a Citroen C1, does this mean I'm amazing in bed as I'm confident with my masculinity? 8)

The perfect man earns £48,000 - is that all? I thought that the perfect man is a multi-billionaire, makes me the sole inheritor and only has 2 weeks to live....

A beer / lager drinker - Yeah but after 8 pints I'm fit for fark all! an most women I know don't go for the bladdered slobbering monster!

Muscly, toned and athletic - working at it

Short dark hair - whats left of it! Mind I am just too tall for my hair.

V-neck jumper - NEVER

Gets ready in 17 minutes - Can do it in 7!

Wants a family - Family for sale on ebay!

Earns £48,000 a year - is that really a prerequisite? Who says money doesn't matter?

Loves shopping - depends what for? With Doris? NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Eats meat - does anyone know a male veggy that they would consider a man!

Smooth chest - NEVER did once itched for a week!

Watches soaps - Why would you! If I am forced I can actually feel my brain turning to cottage cheese!

Enjoys watching football - Not this season! 5h1te!

Drives an Audi - used too! can I have a point! What if its an A1?

Earns more than you - Ah money mentioned twice? Theres a theme here! Anyone of my x's could have written this! Wallet Vampires!

Jokes around and has a laugh - Yeah but just get called childish, girlfeind says I act like a six year old! Maybe a lady didn't write this!

Sensitive when you are upset - Not if I upset her, and thers only so much sympathy you can give, I mean come on being upset for a week every month is bloody tedious!

Tells you he loves you only when he means it - LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Non comprende!

Admits it when he looks at other women - fnar, like you would!

Rings mum regularly - Dead so does that mean a fail! Give a guy a break!

[b]Perfect Woman![/b]

Tig bits

Mute

Tig bits

Brunette mm maybe blonde, or auburm/red

Tig Bits

Eyes, yes two!

Tig Bits

Size 8-12, dont want a bouncy castle!

Tig bits

Good cook

Tig bits

Lets me have my free time

Tig bits

Doesnt care what I earn

Tig bits

Understands the offside rule so dont constantly have to explain it

Tig Bits

Doesnt mind collecting me and my mates from the pub and cooking supper at 2am! For me and my mates!

Oh did I mention tig bits!

I did score well but its scarecly relevent, Doris thinks I am perfect.

17

Don't want a family. cant meet women my age who either don't have one already or are desperate to start one before the change.

Six feet tall FAIL
Muscly, toned and athletic I'm a cyclist so FAIL (scrawny and athletic)
Brown eyes FAIL
Short dark hair PASS
Smart dress sense FAIL
A beer / lager drinker FAIL
Non smoker PASS
Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper FAIL
Gets ready in 17 minutes FAIL (a dump and a magazine will put me over that)
Stylish FAIL
Wants a family FAIL already got one
Earns £48,000 a year FAIL
Loves shopping FAIL
Eats meat PASS
Clean shaven FAIL
Smooth chest FAIL
Watches soaps EPIC FAIL
Enjoys watching football EPIC FAIL
Drives an Audi EPIC FAIL
Educated to degree level PASS
Earns more than you PASS
Jokes around and has a laugh PASS
Sensitive when you are upset FAIL (my wife would argue at times)
Tells you he loves you only when he means it PASS
Admits it when he looks at other women FAIL
Holds a driving licence PASS
Can swim PASS (just)
Can ride a bike EPIC PASS
Can change a tyre EPIC PASS
Rings mum regularly FAIL

11/30 - what a catch!

Are you the perfect man?

Ask my partner of 22yrs. I'm not perfect but I'll never take myself too seriously or ignore another persons opinion.

Buggerit! 🙁

[i]Wallet Vampires![/i]

[i]Size 8-12, dont want a bouncy castle![/i]

V Lol
😆

[i]The perfect man is in fact a woman[/i]

Oh yeah!! 😆

56 out of 30 for me, I awarded myself some bonus points for being extra awesome and being modest.

Jeeze what a total crock of a survey, typical blinkered women.. But, just for science sake, I'll have a go:
Six feet tall - No, 5.10
Muscly, toned and athletic - Yup, you betcha "raws liek a tiger"
Brown eyes - Nope, Blue with hints of sunflower yellow (really)
Short dark hair - Dark Brown any good? All of it too.
Smart dress sense - Yup indeedydo (I'm a dandy me)
A beer / lager drinker - Beer only thanks ohhh and wine.
Non smoker - Yes, never have, never will.
Wears smart jeans, shirt - Yes and apropriate footwear attire
V-neck jumper - Yes on occasion.
Gets ready in 17 minutes - Nope, more like 30mins but hey..
Stylish - Ohhhh yeah, I'm sexy me.
Wants a family - Erm..did once, not now thanks.
Earns £48,000 a year - More than that, but does that really matter??
Loves shopping - Only for about 2 hours then I die of boredom.
Eats meat - Erm No, Veggie option for me, but you go ahead.
Clean shaven - Yes, but sporting unshaven stubble at the mo.
Smooth chest - Yup.
Watches soaps - No, no on many levels.
Enjoys watching football - No, can't stand it.
Drives an Audi - No, I've got way more taste than that thank you.
Educated to degree level - Yup, still can't spell though.
Earns more than you - More than Who exactly?
Jokes around and has a laugh - Yes, often and I get carried away sometimes.
Sensitive when you are upset - I'm not too sure if there is any other option apart from sodding off to the pub on your own.
Tells you he loves you only when he means it - Yup, I don't lie me.
Admits it when he looks at other women - Yes but I don't do double takes.
Holds a driving licence - Yes, silly question.
Can swim - Again Yes, silly question.
Can ride a bike - I think I can, I can pull a decent wheelie too, one handed whilst the other rings my bell.
Can change a tyre - Yup.
Rings mum regularly - Once a week do, do texts count?

Total DMail boredom survey from women who have no idea there are some damn fine fellas around that do not fit any of this silly model..

We really need a survey on women folks.. Who'll start that one??

Watches soaps and football? No thanks, I'll take imperfect, one with more desirable attributes of being able to pull off massive combos in Street Fighter and willing to remove daddy long legs from my presence. And only 6ft? Who wants a short arse?! There's only room for one hobbit in this relationship!

So....Molgrips is arsing about on the computer while Mrs Molgrips is doing the housework?

I'm working from home. Mostly.

Six feet tall 6'3'', so better
Muscly, toned and athletic yep
Brown eyes FAIL yep
Short dark hair yep
Smart dress sense yep
A beer / lager drinker yep
Non smoker yep
Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper **** no
Gets ready in 17 minutes yep
Stylish no
Wants a family yep
Earns £48,000 a year no
Loves shopping no
Eats meat yep
Clean shaven no
Smooth chest no
Watches soaps no
Enjoys watching football yep
Drives an Audi no
Educated to degree level yep
Earns more than you yep
Jokes around and has a laugh yep
Sensitive when you are upset no
Tells you he loves you only when he means it yep
Admits it when he looks at other women no
Holds a driving licence yep
Can swim yep
Can ride a bike yep
Can change a tyre yep
Rings mum regularly yep

that's roughly 19. Aw crud, i'm a DM housewife's dream

[i]V-neck jumper - Yes on occasion.[/i]
😯

[i]Earns £48,000 a year - More than that,[/i]
Just answer ' No ', its more mysterious as most will assume you mean lower than.
(don't tell anyone I told you this)
😉

[i]Eats meat - Erm No, Veggie option for me, but you go ahead.
[/i]
I'm not sure you understood that question........
😉

[i]Educated to degree level - Yup, still can't spell though.
[/i]
I knew there was a reason I didn't bother.

[i]Tells you he loves you only when he means it - Yup, I don't lie me.
[/i]
Nah, you have to. Its part of being a bloke.
Trust me on this.

[i]Brown eyes FAIL yep
[/i]

Come on Hans.
Which is it ?.

failed on a few, but have a huge penis to make up for it

eats meat

failed on a few, but have a huge penis to make up for it

A girl once told me I had the best looking Penis that she'd ever seen.

I said, 'right I'd prefer if you sucked in your breath and look terrified everytime I got it out thanks'. 😐

Dear God!! 😯

WHy do women always say "a good sense of humour" when what they mean is "loaded, tight arse and massive penis". Is "GSOH" just a euphamism?

They're all liars!

What is the best looking penis? Could I model it? Like being a handmodel?

😆

Without sounding like a womanhater (I'm not) pingu66 but alot of ladies looking to date seem to want mister perfect looking etc yet look decidly tired and/or overweight themselves 😆