[Closed] are you an actual expert at anything?

i used to know lots about battletech table top wargaming stuff

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but the extended universe novels etc too

scifi and geeky movies in general

can tell you a lot about middle earth

my head is full of useless shit

Typewriter sales?

BLIMEY what alot of trumpet blowing.

i can fart pretty bad/good, but yeah there are some on here who wouldn't get in a building unless it had double doors

Fishing. Driving. And being a pain in the backside.

Pleasuring women of course!

Spoons!

Skiing and Ski Instructing, I don't do it as a Job anymore, but I did for a long time.

I've also raced a lot, and trained racers occasionally.

I have skied well over 500 weeks in the last 25 years (which is a LOT as my dodgy knees can prove)

my head is full of useless shit

TBH, that's probably my best area of expertise too.

This is one of those threads that makes me feel hopelessly inadequate.

Can inject Japanese knotweed to kill it, and cut down small trees with a chainsaw, small being 13 inches or less in diameter.

Not an expert but i'm qualified to do both and enjoy them, they're both satisfying in different ways.

Pretty cool to see dead and dying knotweed actually, kill it kill it kill it.

Knotweed is evil personified in the plant world. tobacco is evil personified in the human world.

End of ramble back to thread...

[i]Any humble folk at all on here?
Definatley populated by 40+ IT middle management with inadequacy complexes. [/i]

Apart from the vast majority who are not in IT at all.

Parquet Flooring.

If i were my dad, I'd be internationally recognised for my 'expertise' in something to do with radio interference, or something

but i'm not. i'm too young to be an expert in anything useful.

although i know a bit about the adventure travel market, sustainable tourism, SEO and learning more about ski tech as we speak.

I used to know [i]waaaay[/i] too much about the bike and ski/snowboard retail sector in the UK. 🙂

Prevarication, almost to Olympic standards. 😆

absolutely nothing

BLIMEY what alot of trumpet blowing.
Any humble folk at all on here?
Definatley populated by 40+ IT middle management with inadequacy complexes.

Did you bother reading any of the things people posted ?

I'm an expert gynaecologist, I'm not qualified but i'll have a look at it for you.

I've been curtain walling for longer than I care to remember and have trained up many unfortunate apprentices !

Thanks, Neil, you just gave the same answer I was going to give to a really dumb question.
Once upon a time I was trained as a scanner operator on a Crosfield 6250 drum scanner, and used to re-touch scanned images for high-end products, like Titleist golf, to a very high standard, but expert? Mmmm, nah, not really, and I haven't done any for ages. Can't even remember the keyboard shortcuts in Photoshop any more. 😐

I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.

I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.

So what you're saying is, I shouldn't have kidnapped your daughter?

I doubt you'd want to keep her long!

Becoming a Dear Leader requires detachment from maggots!

Expert? That's just an opinion.

So what you're saying is, I shouldn't have kidnapped your daughter?

He will find you and he will kill you.

I'm a certified expert at talking utter pish.

Also, an expert at breaking things.

I like it here.

Not officially but all the producers at work always seem to compliment me on my fast EVS operating skillz so I must be at least above average at that 🙂

shifter - Member

I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career.

Is it shifting?

I can pick up a pencil off the floor with my mouth whilst standing on 2 yellow pages with my hands behind my back....pished...

I win....

killwillforchips - Member

BLIMEY what alot of trumpet blowing.

Any humble folk at all on here?

So your skill is reading a different thread to the one that's on everyone else's screen? Wicked!

I used to work with two guys

one was a chippy the other just like polishing motorbike bits

however they built aeroplanes and sold the company neither were experts at building planes

I can pick up a pencil off the floor with my mouth whilst standing on 2 yellow pages with my hands behind my back....pished...

I win....

You've certainly got the shortest legs 😉

Work dodging.

Nah I'm your classic jack of all trades master of none. Though I have written educational literature on music production.

Two things. As agreed by the Royal Courts of Justice. In fact, I am in a stated case.

I don't like to blow my own trumpet, but I'm an expert brass player.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE??!!??!!

In all seriousness, Bb cornet to Grade 8/Diploma standard and now on Euphonium.
Credentials of note:
Last Night Of The School Proms, Albert Hall 1997
National Brass Band Champions, Wembley Conference Centre 1994

Kinda discovered women and beer after that, but recently fell back into it.

Frankly, experts pale into insignificance when you have a man like Rusty Spanner doing a very difficult job by working with dementia sufferers.

Respect to Rusty Spanner. 🙂

I used to play euphonium Ox, three bloody miles I had to carry that sodding thing to school. Just as I was getting the hang of it they kicked me out when I broke it.

sweepy and ox, tell me you have yorkshire accents... 😉

I agree mat_outandabout, tho i'm from Sheffield so i'm allowed to want them to without having to smiley wink. 😉

Ditto cinamon girl. 🙂

Front crawl. And i've got a certificate to prove it.

I'm qualified and legally able to do my job, but I don't think anyone I work with would think of calling me an expert. I stumble through the day trying not to **** up too badly. 🙂

Everybody seems to be missing the usual definition of an expert being somebody who knows more than the person they're talking to.

In which case, on here I'm an expert XC skier and an expert surfski paddler (I would claim to be an expert at riding a geared unicycle as there are only a handful of other riders of those in the UK - unfortunately one of them has already posted on this thread!)

My work Bio lists me as a leading expert in a software package in Australia. I didn't even wright that one.

sweepy and ox, tell me you have yorkshire accents...

*doffs flat cap, hoiks up coal phlegm, pats whippet, raises a pint of Stoneses*

EDIT: how do you break a Euphonium?

Self harming and suicide, i don't get invited to many parties....

PICK DataBasic & SB+ analyst/programmer. Been doing it 20+ years, I bloody hope I'm an expert by now; my boss probably does too 😉

I play drums too but I'm not an expert at that. if I was I'd be earning a living from it rather than "hobbyist"

Drunkenness, apparently. Yours, not mine.

Sex.

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Back in my pprevious job. I was a member of a NATO group of sspecial experts. Much to the chagrin of my mate who had been in job for 10 years.

The toe curling bit in Supersized Earth?
Well who do you think trains them..........

Blagging according to my colleagues.

Embedded software design, code & testing.

At least, I've been doing it for about 20 years, and keep getting paid for it by companies who care about it being done right.

I'm an expert at annoying my wife.

Helmet Design - but not if you ask TJ!

I try to sound like I know what I'm talking about when it comes to geographical information systems and online mapping. I can convincingly blag online marketing and web development too.

Banana carving.

ohh just remembered one, i have a very large lung capacity so when measured at the University of Surrey they had to recalibrate the machine to measure my lungs 😀

my lungs should be great for trumpet blowing!

So, unless they're yet to arrive on the thread we have no dog training experts, no coffee experts, and no parenting experts... that should solve all them threads that keep popping up then 😉

Apparently, I am world class in stating the bleeding obvious.

Actual expert on trees with certifictes and everything.

I got my City & Guilds 953 Computer Literacy in 1987. Some people say the YTS was good for nothing, I proved them wrong.